My mother, Betty Farrar, who has died at the age of 100 of old age, was a Labour party activist who supported the Grunwick strike, CND and the miners’ struggles. From the 1980s onwards, her house, in the middle of nowhere, was a magnet to people from various countries, of all ages, classes, genders and sexualities. Her last video message to her WhatsApp friends’ group ended with “Never Vote Tory”.
Born in West Kirby, Wirral, Betty was one of seven children of Annie (nee Morrison), a shop assistant at (David) Lewis’s in Liverpool, and Harold Uren, the owner of the Liverpool-based merchant HJ Uren and Sons, and a Liverpool FC and Everton footballer. Thus the family lived in some style at Sea Crest House in West Kirby. In 1936 Betty’s teacher at West Kirby girls’ school recommended that she should stay on to train as a PE teacher. Her father said: “She’ll get married like her sisters. Why would I waste my money?” Her father’s refusal to help develop her talent rankled.
Betty joined the Women’s Auxiliary Air Force (WAAF) in 1942. Working on radar tracking for Bomber Command left her forever haunted by the young men’s sacrifice. She married Don Farrar, a friend from childhood, in 1944, and found herself moving house dozens of times, becoming an increasingly undutiful Royal Air Force officer’s wife and mother of three, befriending other disgruntled officers’ wives.
In her 40s, Betty started the most satisfying period of her life. Moving to Hemel Hempstead, Hertfordshire, in 1966, she got an A in O-level English and joined a WEA (Workers Educational Association) class in sociology. Boosted by Peggy Boateng and Julie Smith in Hemel’s Labour party, she became a dedicated activist. Becoming a feminist in her 50s, her WAAF and RAF experience made her a quick recruit to the Greenham Common women’s days of action.
In the early 1980s she and Don, who joined the ex-military wing of CND, retired to south-west Wales. In her 70s, Betty became a correspondent in the University of Sussex Mass Observation writing project about everyday life in Britain. She contributed pages of responses over the next 20 years, and the authors James Hinton and Jane Mace have used her thoughtful, frank essays in their books.
Her house was filled with an eclectic mix of family, close friends and visitors fuelled by chocolate cake and gin. Don died in 1993. Betty remained a Labour activist and a stalwart committee member of Carmarthen Women’s Aid into her late 80s. Her generous hospitality and listening ear never let up.
In her mid-90s she moved to Leeds to live with her son, Guy, “counting my blessings”, as she would say, to the end. The Queen’s birthday card was greeted with a wry grin and another roll-up. In 1953 she had cheered the coronation; she died a republican.
Betty is survived by her children, Guy, Lucy and me, three grandchildren, six great-grandchildren and a step-grandchild.
