Premieres
Monday 19 September
Haven’t you been clamoring for Kevin James to return to television so that he can annoy his out-of-his-league wife with his wild macho antics just like he did on The King of Queens? Well, apparently someone has. Here James plays a cop who retires to live the good life but instead ends up sucked into his family’s drama. CBS at 8.30pm EST
Finally someone created a project worth of Kristen Bell’s comedic genius. The Veronica Mars star plays Eleanor, a selfish woman mistakenly sent to heaven, and Ted Danson plays Michael, her guardian angel trying to keep her on the straight and narrow. More Kristen Bell is like a gift from God – or creator Mike Schur (The Office, Parks and Recreation). NBC at 10pm EST
Tuesday 20 September
Wanna know what Dr Phil did before he became Oprah’s go-to guy and daytime’s baldest talkshow host? He ran a jury consulting business and they made this show based on his life. Michael Weatherly plays the Dr Phil character, but with way more hair and far less drawl. CBS at 9pm EST
Considering this is the most watched trailer of the new fall season, it must mean that people are really excited about a drama about people’s lives connected by nothing but a shared birthday, including a couple welcoming a new child, a TV star ready to quit, his twin sister who is looking for romance, or a man hunting down his long-lost father. It’s either that or they really like Milo Ventimiglia’s bare bum. Either way, this is getting tons of buzz and some of the best reviews of the season. NBC at 10pm
Wednesday 21 September
Replace Danny Glover with Damon Wayans and Mel Gibson with Clayne Crawford and you have a faithful update of the classic movie franchise. As always Murtaugh and Riggs are solving crimes, though not always going by the book. I bet they have to turn in their badge and gun at least six times before the end of the first episode. Fox at 8pm EST
Every year during the State of the Union address, one member of the cabinet is holed up somewhere in case someone blows up the capital and kills the entire executive branch. On TV, this finally happened and the guy left behind was Kiefer Sutherland. Well, it was actually Tom Kirkman, secretary of housing and urban development who has no clue what he’s going to do running a country where the White House staff hates him and America is mourning the loss of their leader. ABC at 10pm EST
Minnie Driver, complete with her English accent, finally makes the switch to TV as the mother of a son who can’t speak and must use a wheelchair because of his cerebral palsy. How does she get him everything he needs and still keep everyone else in the family happy? It’s like trying to have it all but even worse. ABC at 8.30pm EST
Thursday 22 September
This is the first non-Shonda Rhimes show that ABC has tried on a Thursday night in quite some time and it’s keeping Scandal’s timeslot warm while Kerry Washington is on maternity leave. Don’t worry, it’s just as crazy as a Shondaland show , with a lawyer husband and his TV news producer wife (Daniel Sunjata and Piper Perabo) get creative with how they let their jobs influence each other. It’s even based on a real story. ABC at 9pm EST
If you thought it was hard for Jackie Robinson to be the first black player in baseball history, try being Ginny Baker (Kylie Bunbury) the first female baseball player – who also happens to be black. Saved by the Bell’s Mark-Paul Gosselaar plays her catcher. Who knew Zack Morris was such a jock? Fox at 9pm EST
Friday 23 September
Geena Davis has an Oscar and now she has a ghost show on Fox on Friday nights where she is the mother of a pea-soup spitting girl whose family is being beset by a dark force. Good thing she’ll have two different priests fighting for her. Fox at 9pm EST
During this season where everything old is new again, even the guy that can save the day with a coat hanger, two pencil erasers, and a pack of gum has been taken out of the closet and dusted off. Lucas Till plays the modern incarnation of the hero, who leads a shadowy group within the government that uses science to save lives. CBS at 8pm EST
Returning shows
Monday
Miley Cyrus and Alicia Keys put their butts in some spinning chairs for the first time. It’s gonna be hard for Miley to twerk on this singing competition while seated. NBC at 8pm EST
Tuesday
Oldie but goodie John Stamos and youngie but baddie Taylor Lautner join the second season of this Ryan Murphy concoction. This time it’s set in a hospital instead of a sorority house. That’s like trading Jell-O out for Jell-O shots. Fox at 9pm
Wednesday
What sophomore slump? The ratings juggernaut is back and bigger than ever as it tries to make everyone forget about season two. Fox at 9pm EST
What could possibly make this groundbreaking sitcom better? How about Hamilton’s Daveed Diggs as Rainbow’s brother coming to town. ABC at 9.30pm
The grandfather of all reality shows returns for its 33rd season and this year the theme is Gen X v Millenials. Let’s hope that none of the challenges have to do with Snapchat or naming bands signed to Sub Pop. That wouldn’t be fair. CBS at 8pm EST
Thursday
Remember what we said about Empire trying to make everyone forget about their second season? Same thing is true here, with a new mystery and, hopefully, a little less insanity. ABC at 10pm EST
New to streaming
Thanks to all the dating apps and websites out there, finding love and picking up should be absolutely simple, right? Well, maybe not. Noted mumblecore pioneer Joe Swanberg gives TV a try with this eight-part series that looks at what romance is like in the modern day. With an amazing cast and a great trailer, this looks like something you could fall in love with rather easily. Thursday 22 September on Netflix
Transparent
The funny thing about coming out of the closet or making a transition is that after it’s over everything should be hunky dory, right? Not so much. For the third season of this gender and sexually fluid comedy all the members of the Pfefferman clan have exactly the lives that they want. Then why are they all still so miserable? Jill Soloway’s increasingly complex series tries to figure out why. Friday 23 September on Amazon
