Cancel everything else you had planned, this is going to take up the rest of your afternoon. In this special edition 'Best Of' bundle package, we start with a run down of the Chatterbox activity from February 7-11, edited by Angryman13. Then there's video and photographic evidence of this year's Chatterbox Awards ceremony, which took place in the snug top room of the Blue Posts pub on Rupert Street, Soho. Our thanks to the accomodating staff.
Finally, there's a report from Goody on the PES Live tournament that took place earlier on the same afternoon at the excellent Jetlag Sports bar.
Yes, it's a veritable hurricane of Chatterbox action, so shut the doors, lock the windows and hide under the bed covers with a torch and your laptop, and enjoy...
Monday February 7
The morning after two nights before. Today was the first day of service after the Chatterbox Awards 2011.
Like many of us, EnglishRed had got caught up in the emotion of the evening and was in an apologetic mood:
"I apologise to onedave for patting him on the top of the head"
"I apologise for continually grabbing (in a non-Gypsy way) Tim"
"I apologise for slapping Limni (I have vague memories of your startled face)"
"I apologise for telling Hayers he looked like Michael Sheen, and saying that he was sexual".
During the course of the weekend decalcoman1a had acquired a strange houseguest:
"Thanks to St00, who was an excellent (non-stabby or flanky) houseguest. I'm still finding bits of pumice around my flat for some reason. Still, if you are going to make the effort of carting rocks down south, best to go for something light."
onedaveofmany summed up how a lot of people felt in a few succinct words:
"SuperSmashin remains the paragon of friendliness. Lazybones has the creased eyes of a man who smiles a lot and means it."
In fact, the overall verdict was one of almost sickening good feelings. A cracking time was had by all and the next shambolic meet up can't happen soon enough.
It took the notorious bile of Sheep2 to give a bitter-sweet edge to today's summary and bring us back down to Earth:
"HereComesTreble won everything of note by a mile. The high point of his life? Undoubtedly. Like a true internet person he missed it"
Tuesday
Looking old enough to buy booze vs. The joy of being asked for ID. That was the sleepy start to the day which suggested that one or two were still feeling the effects of the weekend's awards. There was some discussion on either side of the argument about looking old, which in part just highlighted the huge age range of regular bloggers on the Chatterbox.
Generally the tone was one of righteous indignation at being well over 18 and of course Rollmeister's proclamation of:
"Haven't been asked for ID since I got married. Not quite sure what that says about married bliss."
After that it all got a bit strange and can only be described as the random naming of TV programmes and films. ID, Scum, Green Street, Cass, Prisoner Cell Block H, Oz, Tenko, Porridge, Open All Hours? This was list blog gone mad. Blatant geek one-upmanship with no focus. Thankfully, Makar put an end to proceedings: "Examples of things that are better than other things. It's no substitute for actual humour or interesting chat".
And the afternoon was no improvement, in fact more like a debasement. Racism / Xenophobia blog was sparked by Steve Coogan's condemning of Top Gear. It all got a bit heated but no decision on what is right or wrong was reached (which is about as much as can be expected from the bloggers). [Steve Coogan was right – Keef]
To end on a high, Umboros23 released the results of the Chatterbox games of the year for 2010 (as voted for by the bloggers). Red Dead Redemption won by a good margin with the remainder of the top five being made up of BFBC2, Mass Effect 2, Demon's Souls and Gran Turismo 5.
Quote of the Day: "What an odd day in the blogosphere. If this is your sole contribution to society then I fear for your human world." EnglishRed, from his saucer hovering above London.
Wednesday
Wednesday grabbed the baton by talking about the surprise TV hit, "My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding". [Uh-oh – Keef] Bloggers were discussing how much cleaning a single caravan could actually take. Piip just said, "I'm appalled by the lot of you".
Some work-related news for one of the bloggers led to a discussion about recruitment agencies. In typical style, Catzilla was sitting on the fence:
"The kind of people who deserve to have boiling bleach poured down their throats and beaten by midgets with cricket bats."
Dead Space 2 had been out for long enough that people were posting up opinions of it after completing the game. Everyone seemed pleased enough with the bulk of it, but perhaps were let down at the end. There was also a mention for the excellent mobile game, Game Dev Story. [If you haven't played it, download it immediately – Keef]
For reasons perhaps best left alone, Lazybones decided to tell all that he, "wouldn't put my hand in a sausage machine for love." [Isn't that a Meatloaf song? – Keef] SerenVikity decided she wouldn't put her hand in a sausage machine to go to Edinburgh. MilkNCheese asked if, "anyone would put their hand in a sausage machine for a hand".
HereComesTreble had an idea for a career change and asked for help on getting his new venture started. There were plenty of volunteers which is odd as there's probably not much call for a permanent Rodeo in the Northwest of England.
As the afternoon wound up, 'Favourite' War blog reared its head. EnglishRed's logic was hard to argue with: "The 100 years war, for three reasons: a) it was against the French; b) it gave value for money; and c) it didn't last for 100 years." Come in Simon Schama, your time is up.
Thursday
Evidently, Thursday was a slow day in work for much of the box, as we managed to breach the 1,000 comment mark. So what drove us to break this momentous boundary? Well, needless to say, much of the talk was the usual mix of BFBC2 (with BeardofBees finally tasting the excitement that accompanies blowing up your first tank with C4) Blops, Neptune's Pride, Blood Bowl, KZ3 and numerous other titles.
The first major discussion of the day started with HereComesTreble asking a seemingly innocuous question regarding an upcoming move:
"Leeds bloggers - What are the pros and cons of living and working there? I've been a few times for work, and once to an Ashes game at Headingley. I really liked it. Everyone up here though looks at me with a kind of blank fear when I mention that I'm thinking of moving there. What's so bad about it?"
Although Fegbarr described it as, "the most generic Northern city you can think of", some bloggers took an even more critical view, with Sheep2 announcing that, "Leeds was the inspiration for Mordor in Lord of the Rings".
There were very few voices of dissent amongst the crowd; the best the city's defenders could muster was to list numerous other places that were even worse. Coventry, Huddersfield and Rotherham all received a mention and were themselves subject to the critical eye of 'Box living standards. R042 coming up with this gem:
"The only reason John Betjeman didn't write 'Come Friendly Bombs and Fall on Huddersfield' is because Slough is easier to rhyme with."
Quote of the Day
"You're right, for some reason, ever since I started posting on here my inner geek has come to the fore. It's a rocky dark road I'm walking that'll end with me just wearing black T-shirts and getting a subscription to SFX while I dig out my old Ork horde from my parents' loft. I'm really going to have to go to the pub more."
Thebuat – determined to get his life back on track... right after just one more game of Dwarf Fortress.
Friday
As the weekend loomed, and the juggernaut of Awards Chat slowly ground to a halt, an early morning scandal rocked the 'Box. It seemed that the typically dependable Simian had 'rage quit' a Blood Bowl game on none other HenryPootle. A stunned world demanded the truth, various bloggers expressed dismay and surprise. The explanation was a more prosaic Steam connection issue. However, we will always have the image conjured up by St00's imagination to remember the affair by: "I can see him now, expletives and flecks of banana issuing fourth from his monkey mouth. He replaces his controller with monkey pooh, which he flings at his monitor whilst screeching."
Another Blog diversion of late has been Neptune's Pride with various bloggers trying to wrest control of a fictitious galaxy from one another at glacial pace. Evidently, some betrayal and conspiracy had blown up in the latest outing and erupted onto the blog in a hissy-fit between RustyJames and Limni. The argument was put to bed by Limni declaring:
"I have more ships, more industry, better weapons and faster ships. Truth and justice are nice concepts, but they don't win intergalactic battles."
[This speech is even better if you imagine Patrick Stewart delivering it – Keef]
HereComesTreble showed us the form that earned him Blogger of the Year, ruminating on his recent rough time at work and concluding:
"I've taken Monday off to try and sort my life out. I'll probably just play games in my dressing gown."
Nobody could sustain such a frenetic pace and the afternoon inevitably petered out into list-blog (Whisky – not for the first time). This had an equally predictable effect on a Friday afternoon; a welter of bloggers listing their favourite drinks. Same time next week?
End game
Join the official Gamesblog spotify list and share your own favourite tunes. Last addition – 'Planet Claire' by the B-52s.
Check the Gamesblog wiki for everyone's game tags and more!
This week's 'Best of' was ushered into existence by Humofevil, Alexp, Bobbobbob, PicPicPic, Pdmalcolm. It was wrestled into shape by Angryman13.
Chatterbox Awards 2011
Limni has gathered photographic and video evidence of the Awards ceremony. The video footage is on Limni's YouTube channel. The photos are up on Facebook here. If you were there, see if you can spot yourself; if you weren't have a look and see what you missed!
PES Live 2011
On the afternoon of February 5, Chatterbox regulars held a PES tournament at the JetLag Bar. Goody wrote the match report...
There are moments in games which result in pure unadulterated joy. Beating that end of level boss after saying to yourself, 'just one more go', or catching and beating the leader of a race on the final home straight. For many readers of the Gamesblog, PES online has been responsible for some of these moments. Seeing that perfectly connected shot fly in to the top corner will often result in physically jumping off the sofa and a small fist pimp. While I'd like to imagine the recipient of that goal all those miles away is probably cursing, for the scorer, often the only person who can share in this moment of ecstasy, is the player's other half, who by now will probably be looking up, rolling her eyes and considering what she ever saw in you. In order for more people to share in these moments of judgement and ridicule, Gamesblogers from all over the country would converge on a central London venue and take up the cudgels in a series of face to face encounters. In the words of a higher power, 'health insurance was checked and ambulances were on standby'. This is the story of PES Live 2011.
In attending the JetLag bar, several bloggers showed an impressive sense of dedication. Silveryfox and UncleBen caught trains to attend, while AngryMan postponed his yearly skiing trip, and SirGiggedy even took to the skies. Rumours were also abound that the mythical creature, TonyHayers, may attend, no doubt to defend his 'unbeaten' crown which stretches back to two games in PES 2009. This wasn't the case in the end and everyone breathed a sign of relief.
On the morning of the event, mind games were in full force. SilveryFox, determined to knock out his opposition by any means necessary, left UncleBen at their meeting point at Euston station. Luckily UncleBen was able to find a soapbox to stand on, look over the crowds, and identify the nearest tube station and start his journey on his own. By 12.15 there was mild anticipation of the draw. With no Missus Goody to play my games or pull teams out the hat, two less attractive people stepped in. Within three teams being pulled out rumours had spread of a fix. The current reigning champion, Rivaldo, had drawn Athletico Madrid, the best team of the bunch. Heads dropped and AngryMan even offered to give him the prize straight away. People soon cheered up though, when Newcastle, arguably the worst team that has ever been represented on a computerised football game, was given to yours truly. The celebrations had already started. As long as one person failed, the day would be deemed a success. As Guavs mentioned, today everyone (minus one) would be supporting 'ABG' – Anyone But Goody.
Pre-match preparations were in full force. Cobra got out his full Bournemouth AFC kit, (with accompanying scarf) to a small round of applause. Fox took PES witchcraft to new level, not just by assigning Fifa controls, but by changing the shoulder button functions, possibly to 'auto tackle' and 'auto goal' respectively. If Worv was here, Fox would have been subject to a full frontal assault from the Ivory Towers. Rivaldo even attempted to lure people in to a false sense of security by looking like an accountant.
Smellavision and BarryEans kicked off proceedings with the big Italian Derby. Barry's Juventus started strongly but it soon emerged that it would be a battle of attrition. Long ball after long ball meant chances were few and far between. The watching crowd soon started discuss penalties. 'How do you take them?' was regularly asked. 'I've never seen one scored', quoted another.
However, these comments were premature when BarryEans stepped up in the 88th minute, and put the eight-foot HD screen to good use, with a 30yard piledriver. The competition had come alive and BarryEans had set a precedent. In the other legs, Ben had a chance for retribution for Fox's earlier antics. True to form, an early reducer from the Notts based blogger had set the scene. Unfortunately for him, this was his highlight as a solitary route one goal from Fox's PSG sent him out. Elsewhere, SirGiggedy was up in arms, losing to Cobra's Shaktar Donestk despite having 57% possession. A number of bloggers informed him that the goals column is more important and the Scotsman sat down fulfilling the Scottish football stereotype, full of resentment, yet thinking reaching the first round equated to a success. Last years PES live champion, Sheep, fell in the first hurdle in a thrilling 0-0 to ChairOfRust. Curses were uttered, 'why weren't Toulouse allowed in the draw?'.
As the matches unfolded the traditional favourites emerged unscathed, with Guavs and Rivaldo progressing past Angryman and AndyJ respectively. Goody's Newcastle quietened the crowd after sneaking past Rivaldo's mate on penalties. Up next were ChairofRust's Bordeaux for the baby dragon and penalties were needed again to set up a semi-final with BarryEans, the victor of DaveFalse. Fox's hearing slowly started to deteriorate. Continuously put off by the other game's whistle blowing, he allowed the fancied Guavs to take PES to another level by scoring three goals and knocking him out.
This was it, our four final participants. Three with PES pedigree. The other one, well, he was just making the numbers... wasn't he? The winner of the two giants, Guavs and Rivaldo, would face the feared Goody, or the underdog and celebrated BarryEans. Juventus versus Newcastle kicked off proceedings with a near sell out crowd. The game was all Newcastle when suddenly the game turned. The Newcastle keeper came running out to clear a through ball, only managing to kick it straight out to Barry's waiting midfield. 45 yards out and all to do, the Italian composed himself and hit a well placed shot in to the net. The room erupted. Barry was ahead. Goody was yet to score in open play, and Barry had yet to concede. Boos and jeers met every Newcastle touch as the Geordies tried to find a way through. Cheers echoed with every missed shot, but nothing could be done. The Baby Dragon was out, and a quick look at SirGiggedy confirmed that his 57% possession didn't mean you were through.
Guavs and Rivaldo now took up the cudgels. Things didn't start well for the player with the most Guardian PES competition wins as Rivaldo finished smartly to groans in the crowd to go one nil up. Porto pushed for an equaliser and finished off a lovely flowing move. However, it wasn't to be and Rivaldo set added another two smart finishes to win 3-1. After a meaningless 3rd place play off finished (where Goody won via a truly remarkable own goal), a watching crowd gathered and a nervous looking, or possibly bewildered, BarryEans took centre stage to face reigning champion Rivaldo. Never once had a group of internet strangers, who had arranged to meet, had come together for one person. 'I guess I'm the away side' whispered Rivaldo as chants of 'Barry!, Barry!' echoed out from the crowd. Normal service soon resumed as another clinical finish (is there any other Rivaldo type?) meant that the crowd looked to be left disappointed. A few utterances of how Naboo is actually an incredibly sporting player was heard and Rivaldo's reputation was tarnished even further.
Behind and with little hope, there were expectations he would cave, but not reading the script, BarryEans managed to pounce, sliding a bobbling ball under the onrushing keeper, to score the most undeserved of equalisers. The jubilant crowd erupted, as despite Rivaldo's best efforts, BarryEans somehow managed to hold on to take it to penalties, and suddenly everyone became experts at penalties, advice was given and BarryEans looked even more confused. Up he stepped, and disaster! BarryEans had obviously listened to advice and missed his first penalty. Four more penalties dispatched successfully and Rivaldo, sensing he should really try and make friends with the baying crowd, skied his penalty. Suddenly Rivaldo had to score to stay in the tie. Nervous anticipation had swept through the capacity crowd. Up stepped the Athletico striker... to send the ball wide of the post.
We suddenly had a winner, one who now looked both incredibly scared and happy at the same time. Cup shocks, such as Hereford v Newcastle and Wrexham v Arsenal, would now be accompanied by BarryEans v Rivaldo 2011. If this was a Hollywood Blockbuster, this would be 'PES Live 2011 – The BarryEans Story' (coming to a Cinema, Fall, 2011). While the crowd calmed down, BarryEans composed himself, collected his PES winners cup mug, and left not just with his peers respect, but also with the knowledge he would return to his mancave in hope of adulation from his awaiting partner, but would probably just get home to rolling eyes, judgement and some consideration of what she ever saw in him...
All the PES live competitors would like to thank the JetLag sports bar in London for hosting PES Live 2011. Offering a 150" HD Cinema screen and the facility to play the Wii or SingStar, it offers a premier facility for hire in the heart of London.
