Lurching wildly from must-have PS3 games to animal fighting duos, this week's Chatterbox staggered toward the taste barrier, took a quick peek, then belly flopped over. If it all got too much for you, here's a carefully edited replay...
We start with Friday. Race Driver GRID comes up for discussion with several 'box regular's defending its easy sling-about handling. "It's the sort of game you could only dream of when a kid. Looks amazing, and the damage is just quality, and it's real cars," says TonyHayers effectively summing up the game's appeal in 25 words.
This is somehow supplanted by spit-roasting - fortunately, of the outdoor eating variety. "I could probably manage a small piglet, but the missus wouldn't be too pleased," concludes Goody84 ambiguously. Newcomer Smiffington pops up to ask whether there are any must-have buys on PS3. General consensus? The likes of MGS, COD4, Uncharted, GTAIV and Warhawk are as close as you'll get.
The Pes 2009 trailer appears to a ripple of interest (though not as much as the Barry George acquittal), but the afternoon drifts out on some useful best man speech advice (use visual aids, do a CV of the groom, keep it short...).
A couple of keen readers sneak in on Saturday, with Roarrr raising a valid point about the PlayStation Store, "Watched some more GTR R35 clips... if you log in via US PSN the clips are free but you cannot watch unless you have us wallet, but in EU they are 69p?? How can that be justified?" How indeed. Roarrr also links to Kotaku's story about John Carmack, who claims the Xbox 360 version of Rage will look inferior to the PS3 one due to DVD issues. His views are dissected and assessed with comparative objectivity; there's an understanding that neither Sony's nor Microsoft's consoles are perfect, the former due to the complexities of the Cell processor, the latter due to its aging innards.
Monday kicks off with weekend gaming chatter and some DIY anecdotes (how the hell does a crowbar come into painting?). There's a general love/hate relationship developing with Battlefield Bad Company - love the destruction, hate the fact you can't see who's shooting at you. Then Carvalhosgonads trots by with this week's most unlikely conundum:
Something quite weird happened on sat, had a phone call from a completely random woman (misdialed), but had a brief chat just to be polite, she's been texting me ever since so I've replied .... just general chat stuff, she wants to meet up .... should I go or am I gonna get murdered?
A flurry of advice follows, none of it wiser than Milkncheese's compassionate and sensible counsel: "Whilst there is a small chance that this woman will turn out to be the lady of your dreams, it's almost inevitable that you will actually wake up the following day in an ice filed bath minus your kidneys." Out of this comes a discussion about knife shows - do they exist in the UK? What happens at one? Football signings inevitably crop up (though a burgeoning Guardian fantasy football league is still low on numbers) - with West Ham's new 'keeper and speculation over an Arsenal bid for Alonso. Tactical talk about Civilization Revolutions vies for space amid dodgy pub banter (smashing up indeed) and meat-curious vegetarianism. Fantomex attempts to lift the tone by asking for toilet-based colloquialisms.
From here, Subway comes in for a bashing, while Kevin Pietersen attracts support, and Geometry Wars draws praise. In stark and improbable contrast to the morning's scatology, a discussion on the wonders of Italy breaks out. "Tuscany is lush," says Chubster2010 - EM Forster couldn't have put it better. Finally, is it 'should have' or 'should of'? Come on, we all know really...
Tuesday - my birthday! Lots of love for Space Invaders Extreme and GRID, TonyHayers meets Claire Danes, some talk of bicycles. The congestion charge rears its controversial head. In the afternoon, EnglishRed makes an angry point about offline two-player - or the current lack of it:
I can't see why split screen offline mutliplayer is lacking from most current gen games- if a game like COD4 can have 4 player split screen how come games like Motorstorm (which I love by the way) cant have 2 player split screen? Every game with multiplayer should have an offline multiplayer option.
There does seem to be a general assumption that everyone is now on super fast broadband, with whopping friends lists. A fair amount of agreement follows before the subject of stamp duty 'holidays' makes an astonishing appearance. More interesting is Limnl's mention of Floodsim, a flood simulator commissioned by Norwich Union - "this is the first time I can remember a financial institution creating a game," he says, though many of us would like to see the 'stars' of Halifax's ads in some sort of sadistic beat-'em-up. There's only one way forward from here and that's chopping board hygiene...
Wednesday morning - I have my first hangover for several months, and talk on Chatterbox is of keeping cats, or more specifically keeping cats off the sofa. CBPodge points to PC Gamer's 100 best PC games of all time, vote up. It's going to be Quake or Team Fortress/Half-Life. It should be Civ 2. Or Total Annihilation. You can vote here. First mention of the Olympics - it seems no-one is really that bothered - everyone is too busy considering the ultimate animal tag team. Squirrel and bear? Mongoose and lion? Jelly fish and crocodile? (I may have got a couple of those wrong.) Meanwhile, championship football, Gemma Atkinson in C&C Red Alert 3, the world Pooh sticks championships - am I imagining all this? The day ends on a more grounded and extremely familiar note: the Resident Evil 4 controls. Do they add to the drama and tension of the survival horror experience or are they just awkward and obtuse? 'Bring back the door animations!' someone shouts - this week, it's not even close to the most ridiculous suggestion...
Quotes and questions "Why is it, that in the whole of brighton there is only one shop that sells Balloons in bulk?" Swash asks the question that's on everyone's lips
"Is having a cigarette break once an hour taking the proverbial out of my employers or should they be seen as fair game for not having enough work for us to do??" Silverfox073 on a familiar moral question for smokers. Especially work-shy smokers.
"Where's the wisdom in wisdom teeth? I can't see how an aching mouth and splitting headache can ever be described as 'wise'. They should call them torture-teeth.." Chubster2010 on dental naming conventions
"Just went for a smashing shop. Incidentally, can anyone stand Smash? It really isn't potato." Fantomex makes my favourite tangential leap of the week.
"Come off it, give me a break. Blossom isn't anywhere near the same league as My So-Called Life." Limnl on the most pressing media debate of the week.
Games Civilization Revolution Race Driver GRID Battlefield Bad Company Too Human PES Bad Company SoulCalibur IV Geometry Wars Space Invaders Extreme Alan Wake Siren Blood Curse Braid
Music Frightened Rabbit Smashing Pumpkins Beatles
Movies Dark knight Shoot 'Em Up Blade Runner Funny Games
TV Summer Heights High My So Called Life
