Regular readers (hi Mum) will know that I’ve spun my prose for this proud publication plenitude times, writing on myriad subjects across a range of fields and taking each commission, be it ordinary or unexpected in my grateful-to-be-paid stride.
However, this latest threw me for a moment: ‘Electric Weed Burners’? Well, okay, I guess. Not something I’ve dabbled in since my uni days, but I guess it’s become commonplace to the extent of almost legal* now, so let’s move with the high times, eh?
Except of course, as often is the case, I’d misunderstood completely.
This assignment was far more Monty Don than Dona Juana, more Gardeners’ World than Ganja-whirled, and far more jardin clearage than jazz cabbage. Yes, this was the world of electric, thermal weed removal and, by the gods of gardening, much more suited to my middle-aged mood.
So, with a slight sigh of relief that I wouldn’t have to revisit former Hunter S. Thompson days style excess, I entered the fray of e-burners, selecting no fewer than five to trial, smug in the knowledge that there was no end of candidates to the front, rear and the sides of the house asking for a damn good conflagration.
What do you need to know? Well, it’s quite simple, available mains powered, the big decision really rests on making your choice dependent on the availability of power sockets outside your property and the length of cable they come carrying. Some feature power settings, and one or two come with slightly higher temperature output oomph for whacking more stubborn weeds.
What all have in common is a thermal nozzle that emits heat of such hellish intensity that weeds are vanquished within seconds, all without the need for stopping and pulling, or employing awful chemicals that require keeping children and pets indoors, then which poison the ground and seep into nearby waterways killing wildlife. So, you know, all in all: a good thing.
Also of note, some come with interchangeable nozzles too. Why? Why, for lighting your BBQ charcoal, of course! Because once the weeds are reduced to nothing but ash, you can then proudly invite everyone over to your freshly manicured alfresco entertainment area and do exactly the same to the food.
*Definitely still not legal! Ignore the bad man.
Best electric weed burners at a glance
Shop the hot list below
Draper Weed Burner
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Best: overall
The first weed wand to arrive for review, the Draper Weed Burner (2000W) slots together in seconds from out of the box, meaning that, depending on how far your Burny Thing Assemble Area is from your home’s exterior, you can be up and torching the life out of those pesky weeds in next to no time.
However, that is dependent on where you keep your plug sockets and whether you have a suitable extension lead, for while the Draper’s 1.7m cable is positively generous compared to some other models, I found that it simply wasn’t enough length for me to reach the middle, naturally most weed-infested, area of my patio from the external power sockets. Obviously, this is a First World problem that’s easily overcome, but if you're working to a strict budget, you’ll have to factor in the additional cost (usually around £15 upwards) of a, preferably, weatherproof extension.
Packing two power settings to let you go about your domestic arson at your leisure, while a top temp of 600°C means nothing, I said nothing, will escape your weed-hating wrath.
Coming complete with an extra nozzle designed to let you bring the BBQ in no uncertain terms, the Draper is, like Health & Safety at a Prodigy gig, your trusted Firestarter.
Buy now £29.00, Amazon
Hozelock Green Power Evolution
Best for: thermal thrills and quick post-burn chills
“Burn, burn, yes ya gonna burn!” – Bombtrack by Rage Against the Machine is just one of many classic incendiary tracks you can sing while operating the mighty Green Power Evolution from Hozelock.
With a power output of 1600W, the Hozelock reaches scorchio highs of 600°C, transforming wearisome weeds into a pile of ash in mere seconds, before its earthly remains simply blow away on the breeze, all without toxic chemicals and all without stooping, scooping and bothering to subscribe to the council garden waste collection scheme.
Featuring a single power setting to make operation conflagration child’s play (metaphorically – do not let children anywhere near this!). The Hozelock gives more freedom of movement, thanks to a far more flexible three-metre cable. Thanks to its fire lighter function, it’s fit to ignite your BBQ to boot!
Buy now £70.00, Argos
ToolTronix 2000W
Best for: Small but mighty weed immolation
Compact in keeping, but kinder on the back thanks to an extending handle, the mean and undeniably green ToolTronix 2000W comes with two power settings to let you wreak havoc on weeds at 50 or 600°C, the latter reducing them to plant rubble in just five seconds flat.
Capable of tackling unwanted growth on most surfaces thanks to its precision cone, the ToolTronix is a real bargain at this price.
But, as with most bargains in life, there’s generally some kind of downside. In this case, it’s the length of lead – at just 1.58 metres, unless your outside area is petite and bijou, this will be firmly in the added extension lead category.
Comfortable to use and easy to hang up in the shed after use, thanks to the crook handle, if your space is small and your back is a bit dodge, this could be a week of massacring marriage made in heaven.
Buy now £25.00, Amazon
Dekton Power 2000W
Best for: Extra power, extra reach
Okay, providing the best of all possible weed wasting worlds, the cheap as fryer-fresh chips Dekton Power 2000W not only comes with two power settings to put 60- or a superheated 650°C at your fingertips, it also comes with a generous 3-metre long power lead to help you reach unsavoury vegetation in more out of the way areas of your patio or drive, the precision cone delivering the thermal shock exactly on target to leave neighbouring flowers, fruit and/or veg flame-free.
Not only that, but it also comes with 4x different burning nozzles, one for weeds, one for the BBQ, one for paint stripping, and one for… well, full disclosure, I have yet to work out what function number four has, so – in the spirit of suspense – watch this space for an update as soon as I work it out!
All in all, then, the Dekton offers a fine combo of power and performance for just £24. A veritable weed-burning bargain.
Buy now £24.00, Amazon
Parkland 2000W
Best for: a mid-range bargain burner
While it’s hard to know exactly how electric weed burner manufacturers settle on what they consider to be a suitable length for power leads, a less generous reviewer might suggest they either use a random number generator or simply ask a stranger in the street to think of a number between 0.50 and 3.00. Then again, a more generous reviewer might also suggest it’s the same system employed by manufacturers of hedge trimmers, grass strimmers and lawn mowers too, so it’s clearly a wider general garden upkeep issue.
In any event, Parkland, in its infinite wisdom, decided to imbue its 2000W e-burner with an above-average two metres of cable, thus allowing for greater range without the need to fork out £15 or more on a decent extension lead.
It also gives you this at a piffling low price, while also arming you with a 2000W power output (as the name may have given away) and two temperature settings to let you heat things up to 150- or 600°C, all in a nicely compact size, complete with a detachable handle and retractable stand for ease of storage.
As with all options here, the Parkland comes with a precision cone to help avoid damage to more precious plants nearby and although it doesn’t strictly say you can use it to heat-charm the charcoal of your BBQ, neither does it say you can’t, so in the words of Johnny ‘Human Torch’ Storm from the new Fantastic Four film: “Flame on!”
Buy now £24.90, B&Q
Verdict
With its dual temp settings, lightweight, BBQ nozzle accessory and more than reasonable price, the Draper edged it for me, losing out to the no-nonsense Hozelock on price alone.
But the bottom line remains: if you have invasive plants aplenty and no desire to spread toxic muck around, then any of these thermal weed threats will do the job with incinerating aplomb.
