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Los Angeles Times
Los Angeles Times
Entertainment
Randall Roberts

Best comedy album (and Netflix) gets its prime-time Grammy moment: Five jokes from the nominees

Of the 84 categories that make up the Grammy Awards, only a few focus on non-musical art forms. In the past, these categories have been relatively low-profile, but on Sunday's telecast, comedy album received a rare moment in the spotlight.

This year's nominees represent some of the biggest names in the genre _ and all five are nominated for recordings based on Netflix productions: Sarah Silverman, Jerry Seinfeld, Dave Chappelle, Jim Gaffigan and Kevin Hart. Chappelle took home the prize. "I am honored to win an award, finally," he said.

Below: Jokes from the five nominated comedy albums.

Dave Chappelle, on almost quitting the comedy business, from "The Age of Spin: Live at the Hollywood Palladium." "I almost did give up one time, but right before I gave up I decided not to. But I made the call, I made the call. They answered the phone: "Hello, 'Dancing with the Stars.' I said ... 'Not yet.'"

Jim Gaffigan from "Cinco." "I wish I liked fish. I wish I was the person in the restaurant who was like, 'You know, I don't get to go out to dinner very often, but instead of getting a delicious steak, I'll get the fish because I like disgusting food. ... How bored are you with eating if you're ordering the fish? 'You know, just bring me something gross. I like to waste money.'" _ Jim Gaffigan, from "Cinco."

Kevin Hart on living near woods: "I'm sitting in the living room, I can see into my backyard through the glass doors. Out of nowhere, a raccoon walks up to the glass doors, but not like a raccoon should. Not on all fours. Raccoon's on two feet... This is what scared (me): To get a better look in my house, he put his hand on the glass and started looking in the window. I see him, he sees me. He starts ... with the locks. (Makes animal noises). When he couldn't get in, he got mad and fake-shot at me twice. Bang bang!"

Jerry Seinfeld on his mom's way with redecorating, from "Jerry Before Seinfeld." "My mother would say, you know, if you make one wall of a room a mirror, people think you have an entire other room. They believed this. What kind of an idiot walks up to a mirror and goes, 'Hey look, there's a whole 'nother room in there _ and there's a guy in there that looks just like me!'"

Sarah Silverman from "A Speck of Dust." I had a dog for many, many years, and he was my best friend. And I was always talking to him. Whenever I was home, I was talking to him. And then he died and I stopped talking to him _ makes sense. Or does it? I don't know. Does that really make sense? He's just as much a part of the conversation now, in a box on my desk."

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