As General Bernard Montgomery once said – and I think rightly: “In my profession you have to mystify the enemy.” Well, Andrew Strauss, England’s cricket director, may have achieved a modicum of success in this department. The only problem is that his own side are even more confused.
On a tour of Australia the passion of every Test has a tendency to give way to pantomime in between matches. We have gone from head-butts to Heathrow within the space of 24 hours. No sooner had Strauss done his utmost to put the complexities of the Bairstow/Bancroft greeting ritual to bed than the cricketing world was confronted by pictures of the alleged backside (we cannot be too careful in these litigious times) of Ben Stokes heading towards an aircraft bound for the southern hemisphere en route to Christchurch, New Zealand, where he allegedly might play cricket in Canterbury on Sunday in the Ford Trophy against the Otago Volts and perhaps even in the Burger King Super Smash T20 competition thereafter.
It was odd Strauss did not mention this on Monday afternoon; it appears he knew nothing about Stokes’ plans until that evening, even though the England and Wales Cricket Board had issued him with a no-objection certificate at the end of last week that would allow him to play domestic cricket but not for England. Stokes, we were then informed, was on a “family visit”. Soon afterwards we learned he was being earmarked for a possible outing in Canterbury.
Currently the merest mention of Stokes creates a frenzy of speculation. On Monday afternoon Strauss indicated the ECB was stuck in a holding pattern as far as he was concerned; there was no indication a return to international cricket for Stokes was on the horizon. But on Tuesday morning the questions flooded out. Why is Stokes so keen to play for Canterbury? If he has an NOC to play for them, could he renew his acquaintance with the Melbourne Renegades in the Big Bash? How come the ECB appears to have no idea what he is up to? Will he be back in Perth for the third Test?
Suddenly England’s tour to Australia seemed to be stuck in a corridor of uncertainty as wide as the M25, a motorway that, as it happens, keeps going round in circles. I’m not sure old Monty would approve of so much uncertainty before entering the crucial second phase of the campaign. The only certainty at the moment is that nothing is certain.
And that can be damaging. All this angst is only a worthwhile sacrifice if Stokes really is going to be in Perth. During the first month of the tour it seemed the Stokes issue had been buried. The players were acclimatised to his absence; they were determined to do their best without him and there was the assumption he would not be participating in the Ashes series. That clarity at least allowed them to concentrate on the formidable challenges ahead. Now the name of Stokes is buzzing everywhere and that clarity is disappearing fast. There is the temptation for the players to ask those debilitating “what if” questions. “What if Ben had been batting at six at 240 for four in Brisbane? What if he had been let loose on Pat Cummins, newly arrived at the crease?” That gets them nowhere.
By the same token it is easy to understand why Trevor Bayliss must be pining for Stokes. We can surmise he was Bayliss’s favourite cricketer until 25 September 2017. Bayliss used to come alive when discussing him; now this has become a painful process for him. It is not just about the runs and wickets. Bayliss hails from country New South Wales, where the phrase “he’s got a bit of mongrel in him” is most definitely a compliment and Stokes has that quality. In the current climate a translation for an English readership is hard to find since so many phrases are suddenly out of bounds: “a highly competitive cricketer” might satisfy the legal team.
One of the features of this England team – and it would be daft for any of them to put on an act – is that they are a mild-mannered bunch. The newer fast bowlers, Chris Woakes and Jake Ball, would be magnificent son-in-laws; they make Steven Finn seem like an ogre. Has there ever been a more self-effacing international sportsman than Moeen Ali – and long may that continue? There is not much mongrel in the England team; Bayliss would like some more and Stokes could provide it.
Yet confusion reigns. Behind the scenes England could well be encouraging him to return to match fitness on the other side of the Tasman Sea but your correspondent would be amazed if Stokes gets the chance to hit another Test century at the Waca this December.
