Ben Stokes has lifted the lid on a traumatic two weeks wracked with illness, stress, Test defeat and concern for his unwell dad.
And the World Cup gong laden hero, the current BBC Sports Personality of the Year, says he would swap all the success he has had in 2019 if it meant his dad was out of hospital watching him play cricket in Cape Town.
Instead 64-year-old Ged remains back in a Johannesburg hospital with wife Deborah at his side, while the rest of the family have moved on to Cape Town in the hope of watching Ben repeat his heroics from four years ago when he made a blistering 258.
“At the end of the most memorable of years I am finding it quite hard to sum up 2019 right now,” said Stokes.
“There has been some unbelievable highs, and some real lows, but to see out the year with my dad in hospital has put things into perspective.
“If someone could say 'I'll take everything away from you that happened this summer, but your dad is happy, healthy and watching you play cricket' then I'd say yeah, swap it.
“Thankfully where he is now to where he was when he went in has been an unbelievable turnaround, but he's got a way to go.
“The care that he has had while we've been here has been absolutely fantastic and I can't thank everyone involved enough. Our physio Craig de Weymarn has stepped up massively to help out.
“The local Dr Gavin Shang has been incredible and couldn't have done anymore for my dad and the family at the hospital in Johannesburg, and the support we've had from elsewhere like from Cricket South Africa through Graeme Smith and Mark Boucher has been really appreciated.”
Stokes had arranged the trip for his mum, dad, brother's family and his own wife and kids to be together at Christmas for the first time in seven years, and despite the dramatic way it unfolded, they did manage to do that.
But his hopes of them all watching him play a starring role in an England win were dashed by more illness in the England team and an impressive South Africa performance.
Stokes added: “We've nicknamed it 'The Cursed Tour' so far because it wasn't a great time for us in terms of the team trying to build up to an important Test series.
“In the dressing room we have really been battling through a tough time of it with sickness, and without looking for sympathy it is fair to say guys really put their bodies on the line to get out there and give everything they had to fight for England as much as they could.
“It was the dodgiest changing room I've ever been in and at one stage I thought we were going to have to get an emergency order of toilet paper in Centurion, it was that bad.
“It will never be an excuse, but I hope people can understand that physically and mentally it was a huge challenge, getting up in the night, not sleeping, not eating. It all has an effect and over the course of a match you really feel it.”
Stokes is now fit and focused on the second Test starting on Friday and added: “It will be great to get back and play again at Newlands which is one of my favourite grounds in the world for obvious reason.
“Also I was blown away looking at Table Mountain and then with the brewery next to it, you feel like you're playing in a painting.”
- Read Ben Stokes' full column online later this evening and in tomorrow's Mirror.
