Beachballgate

'It’s emerged that it was all part of a big 2018 marketing ploy ...' claims Jason Froggett Photograph: n/a

'Hoping no one will notice, tactical genius, man motivator supreme and undisputed Football Hard Man, Roy Keane, combines recently discovered loopholes with his trusty steely glare in an effort to fill the chasms that have appeared in the Tractor Boy's hapless defence,' chuckles Brett Turner Photograph: n/a

Safe to say Mark Ireland isn't a Rafa Benítez fan. 'Winners of this year's awards: The Ballon d'Or for Best Footballer, Ballon Rouge for Luckiest Footballer, and Ballon Merde for Team Most Likely to Stink the Place Out.' Photograph: n/a

Richard Warwick turns our very own chalkboards to his own devious devices Photograph: n/a

'Steve Bruce's nightmare!' wails Dinesh Vijayan Photograph: n/a

'With Christmas fast approaching, I'm waiting for the inevitable tell-all autobiography,' writes Nick Sanders, who wins bonus points for turning Barry Glendenning into Smiffy Photograph: n/a

Lee Coan's entry speaks for itself, so he's used his caption space to get something of his chest: 'Never in the history of man has a beachball been referred to as balloon so many times. I don't know why that makes me angry but it does.' Calm down, calm down! Photograph: n/a

Here's Thomas Nycz-Losi: 'Seeing as there's seemingly no problem with inflatables being on the pitch, Rafa's taken the opportunity to increase the much maligned squad depth at Liverpool with a few bargain signings. I think the blue one especially could be a good replacement for Carragher ...' Photograph: n/a

'Being the Guardian, I imagine I’m not the only one to riff on le Ballon Rouge …' writes Rayner Simpson. Too true Rayner ... Photograph: n/a

'The Sunderland groundsman prepared the pitch expertly for the next home game,' chortles Will Wilson Photograph: n/a

Niel Butler has gone off on one here: 'Mr Zulu, can you explain this strange phenomenon?' 'Sensors detect a temporal rift in the time-space continuum, Captain Rafa.' 'Hmmm, any suggestions Ensign Bent?' 'I think it's life sir, but not as we know it.' Photograph: n/a

'Reina's therapist was worried,' says Richard Hooker Photograph: n/a

'Liverpool's No1 is The Prisoner of beach ball jokes forever ...' intones Brian Corcoran Photograph: n/a

'Capello opts for The Complete Bent package for the finals,' honks Roy Boujaoude Photograph: n/a

'Sir Alex may be getting on a bit, but he still had enough puff to blow up his remote control beach ball ...' chuckles Iain Cameron Photograph: n/a

'Advances in video technology show that God does in fact exist, and that he supports Argentina,' parps Oliver Lewisohn Photograph: n/a

'I kind of hope it's self explanatory and therefore doesn't need a caption.' No David Madden, you're wrong, it does. Tut Photograph: Public Domain

'After an intense bidding war with Europe's top clubs, Manchester City secure the signature of Sunderland's newly emerged goal-machine for £120m. Inside sources suggest that the beach ball had been under the impression that it was signing for Manchester United,' honks Liam Ferry Photograph: Public Domain

'I am not a number, I am a person. But £20m should do the trick and get rid of me.' More Rafa-bashing from Neil Pollock Photograph: Public Domain