Child to grandfather is a long distance. A path loaded with experiences and a process of learning all through. This big learning takes one to a point of decision making and I made the decision without a second thought. Yes, I am my best friend and there is no doubt about it. No arguments, no controversies, no enmity. It all happens with me and me alone and no worries.
Almost at the last lap of the cycle called life, I rewind the happenings and code them to evaluate the reason for the strong bond between me and me.
Family and friends were fun extreme and fights and misunderstandings had to be taken along the stride. In the process were meeting people, gaining confidence and making friends large in numbers. It had its advantages and disadvantages. A mixed large group where the good and bad were difficult to identify. The bad did their harm and the good stood helpless. Life had to move on carrying all along and it was a difficult balancing act.
Marriage was a life different. The relationship has to be built on trust and it does not happen overnight. Trust is not one built over words or wealth. It only happens with the doings and happenings which had to be experienced without a thought. It has to proceed gaining strength to strength and a solid foundation built on it.
With age gaining strength, friends and folks around start diminishing at a pace frightening. Call it the funny act of fate, the one left behind will have to watch the ones you played with, the ones you studied with and the ones you lived with disappear behind the curtain leaving you behind to live in pain.
Unfortunately, it is at this point of time the transformation occurs. One tends to squeeze into self, shutting the doors to the outside world and the people in and around. Distancing from others and it reaches a point where the only friend for you is you.
Recently on a train travel, I was debating in my mind silently with myself. Having reached a rational judgment, I said to myself, “Yes”.
My voice unfortunately would have been a bit loud and the one seated next was staring at me. He kept on staring at me with dizzy looks expecting more to happen and I smiled at him. The smile confused him and he pushed himself far away. I was amused at his attitude and when he looked again, my smile was open and broad. That was final and he shifted to a place not to be seen.
I being my friend has advantages many. There is no difference of opinion, no loud arguments and no sacrificing for the other. It is a one man’s world with the other built in. There are periods of loneliness but the long length of peace compensates.
I call it aged wisdom which landed without planning. Seven-plus decades of seeing and experiencing this lovely life reaches the conclusion.
My best friend is “I, me, myself”.
Loving every moment of it.
srisree50@rediffmail.com
