Confusing news of the Baywatch movie which – far from needing a lifeline – has been bumped up the pecking order of Paramount projects for next year. It has now been given the plum release date originally allocated to a potential Terminator Genisys sequel. The Terminator Genisys sequel? Listen, buddy, I gotta tell you: it didn’t make it. The current was too strong.
The Baywatch movie will star The Rock as Mitch Buchannon, the role to which David Hasselhoff brought such depth and shade on the small-screen original. As always, Lost in Showbiz readers are urged to follow The Rock, whose regular social media updates as he assembles a cast to flank him – “#SandSquadUpInThisBitch” – confirm his status as Earth’s most radioactively enthusiastic humanoid.
“[We want to] bring the beach movie back to the world,” he tells MTV, “but also have something that has edge and has badass action and really dirty, rated-R humour, which is right in my wheelhouse.” Gotta love The Rock. I want each and every one of you to use the phrase “right in my wheelhouse” in conversation at least once today.
But what of the earlier definite article – to wit, The Hoff – whose efforts to associate himself with this movie seem to be drifting toward the poignant? A few years ago, Hasselhoff announced: “I just met the guy writing the film. I’m going to play myself.” Now that position appears to have been slightly paddled back on, with David suggesting he is still “in negotiations”, and cautioning against any messing with the integrity of the product. “It’s got to be the right movie,” he warns, “not a sendup.”
Mmm. It feels a little late for The Hoff to position himself as the last non-ironist – that ship has sailed, carrying only Steven Seagal. Even so, is there not room for some kind of sage elder on the Sand Squad? The Rock is urged to give the matter his most enthusiastic consideration.
