Full-time: Bayern Munich 5-1 Borussia Dortmund
That was quite one-sided. Bayern Munich go seven points clear at the top of the Bundesliga and I fancy they’ll stay there for the rest of eternity. Thanks for reading. Bye.
89 min: Coman tees up Vidal, who can’t control his effort, the ball sailing off into the Munich sky.
87 min: Mkhitaryan has a dig from 25 yards. It’s easy for Neuer.
83 min: Kimmich is booked for a cynical tactical foul on Gundogan. Moments later Vidal bursts into the area but he’s stopped by a fine tackle from Bender. The danger’s yet to pass, though, and Lewandowski fastens on to the ball. Burki looks terrified but Lewandowski can’t squeeze it past him for his hat-trick. Eventually he jabs the ball into the side netting.
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82 min: It’s like Japan beating South Africa in the rugby World Cup.
Joshua #Kimmich is now on in place of @XabiAlonso. Still 5-1 here. Yeah, you read that right! #FCBBVB (76') 5-1 pic.twitter.com/8KMH1o4jPs
— FC Bayern English (@FCBayernEN) October 4, 2015
80 min: Aubameyang is booked for bumping Vidal over. Kingsley Coman replaces Thomas Muller.
79 min: Januzaj drills a low free-kick through the wall. Neuer pushes it away.
78 min: Boateng tugs Aubameyang’s shirt on the edge of the area as they attempt to reach Gundogan’s high ball over the top. He’s booked and Dortmund have a free-kick in a dangerous position.
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76 min: Joshua Kimmich replaces Xabi Alonso.
75 min: Vidal brings down Gundogan 25 yards from goal. Reus wafts the free-kick over the bar.
74 min: Alonso recovers.
72 min: Xabi Alonso is down with a knee injury.
71 min: Dortmund counter, Januzaj finding Reus, who holds off Lahm and finds Mkhitaryan. He dribbles past Lahm and aims for the far corner from the left but Neuer tips his shot wide.
69 min: Bayern are doing this without Arjen Robben and Franck Ribery and they have brought Arturo Vidal off the bench.
68 min: Pisczek limps off injured. Arturo Vidal replaces Thiago. Bayern are simply too strong.
GOAL! Bayern Munich 5-1 Borussia Dortmund (Gotze, 66 min)
Mario Gotze joins Robert Lewandowski in scoring against his former club. What a competitive league! Thiago outwills Pisczek, whose limp attempt at a challenge was faintly pathetic, and the ball squirts to Gotze, who smoothly guides it into the bottom-right corner. Burki stands and watches.
64 min: Mkhitaryan fluffs a good chance to get Dortmund back into the game, volleying wide from close range after beating Bayern’s offside trap.
63 min: Costa’s inswinging cross from the right is punched away by Burki, who probably should have caught it.
62 min: Lewandowski, Suarez, Aguero or Jamie Vardy?
61 min: Costa’s hopeful cross from the right is too close to Burki.
GOAL! Bayern Munich 4-1 Borussia Dortmund (Lewandowski, 58 min)
Robert Lewandowski scores again. Up is up, down is down, the sky is blue, Bayern Munich are brilliant, Borussia Dortmund cannot contain them. Gotze spins away from the lumbering Hummels on the right and Dortmund are ragged, open, begging to be punished. Gotze clips the ball into the middle and there’s no doubt that Lewandowski is going to score. He lets the ball run across his body and slams it low past Burki into the far corner with his left foot for his 16th goal of the season.
57 min: Reus’s first involvement is a volley that goes a couple of yards wide. A warning for Bayern to stay alert at the back.
55 min: What a miss by Gotze against his former club! Lewandowski charges on to a through ball and again reaches it before Burki, whose decision making has been so poor. Burki is miles out of position and Lewandowski, forced a touch wide, turns and plays the ball back to Muller. He checks inside and sweeps the ball to Gotze, who somehow steers the ball over the empty net! Muller is furious.
53 min: Adnan Januzaj replaces Gonzalo Castro, Marco reus replaces Shinji Kagawa, who has done nothing.
50 min: Marco Reus and Adnan Januzaj are coming on for Dortmund imminently.
47 min: I suspect that goal will be the clincher for Bayern. That was miserable defending from Dortmund.
GOAL! Bayern Munich 3-1 Borussia Dortmund (Lewandowski, 46 min)
This is farcical. Robert Lewandowski scores his 11th goal in his four matches but he will never get an easier one than this. Again Jerome Boateng pings one over the top from inside Bayern’s half and again Borussia Dortmund’s defence is a rabble. Burki’s starting position is far too deep and that means that although Lewandowski can’t bring the ball down straight away, he can just poke it past the goalkeeper’s feeble challenge and boot the ball into the empty net from a yard out. Dearie me. Bayern lead by two again.
46 min: Here we go again. And...
Half-time: Bayern Munich 2-1 Borussia Dortmund
More please!
45 min: There will be one minute of added time.
43 min: Dortmund have been pinned back. They need to survive the next few minutes without conceding again, states Captain Obvious.
40 min: Borussia Dortmund storm forward again, the lightning Aubameyang haring after a ball down the flank and outsprinting Boateng with ease. He hooks a dangerous cross into the six-yard box. It’s a nightmarish one for Bayern to defend but somehow the ball is cleared in the nick of time.
38 min: And breathe.
GOAL! Bayern Munich 2-1 Borussia Dortmund (Aubameyang, 36 min)
Mkhyitaryan plays a pass out to Castro on the right. Castro slides the ball into the middle and with the Bayern Munich defenders out of the picture, Aubameyang arrives at the far post and taps it past the helpless Neuer. Game on! What a response from Borussia Dortmund!
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GOAL! Bayern Munich 2-0 Borussia Dortmund (Muller pen, 35 min)
Thomas Muller has done nothing since scoring the first goal. He has now scored again. He strokes the penalty into the bottom-left corner, Burki dives the other way. Cool as you like. It’s that easy.
PENALTY TO BAYERN MUNICH!
34 min: This is going very wrong very quickly for Borussia Dortmund. Thiago races into the area from the left, isolates Mkhitaryan, who is woefully out of his depth here. He hangs out a leg and clips Thiago’s knee. Penalty. Thomas Tuchel’s defenders are being pulled into places they never knew existed.
32 min: Thomas Muller. Nothing more needs to be said.
31 min: Gotze sends a cross towards the far post from the right. Sokratis scrambles it behind.
30 min: Bayern are threatening to run riot now. Lewandowski charges on to a pass in the area and stumbles over an outstretched leg from Hummels. The fans behind the goal appeal for a penalty but Lewandowski doesn’t and the referee isn’t interested.
27 min: Thomas Muller is terrible at football. Thomas Muller is also brilliant at football.
GOAL! Bayern Munich 1-0 Borussia Dortmund (Muller, 26 min)
Thomas Muller has done nothing for 25 minutes. He gives Bayern Munich the lead in the 26th minute. From inside Bayern’s half, Jerome Boateng looks up and spies drifting inside from the right. Boateng plays a ball over the top for Muller, who has ghosted past Hummels and Pisczek - in fairness to these two, if I hadn’t noticed Muller playing, how could they? Burki charges out of his area but Muller coolly taps it round him and then cushions the ball into the empty net despite the best efforts of the covering Dortmund defenders to stop him.
24 min: Bayern move into another gear, Costa dribbling at Sokratis and beating the Greek defender with a wonderful stepover, before shooting from a ludicrous angle. Burki pushes it back to him, the pace of the shot meaning he couldn’t hold on to it. Costa tries again, this time a cross to the far post. It beats Burki but Pisczek heads it clear.
22 min: Mkhitaryan takes aim from the edge of the area. I assume he was not aiming for Row Z.
21 min: This is very tight and cagey. No one is getting much time on the ball.
19 min: Alaba crosses from the left towards Lewandowski, who can’t bring the ball under his spell. Hummels heads it out and Alonso, closed down by Weigl, volleys over from 20 yards.
18 min: Burki punches Costa’s free-kick away. He could have caught that.
17 min: Lewandowski collapses after being caught in the face by a stray arm from Weigl. Bayern have a free-kick on the right.
15 min: What a waste from Mkhitaryan. He dashes down the left, into wide open space, in charge of a three-on-one situation. He has two men to pick out in the middle but he delays just long enough for Thiago to close him down and turn his cross behind for a corner. Dortmund should have scored there. Bayern were all over the place.
14 min: Bayern are gaining more of a foothold. Not much has happened yet in the either final third, though, other than that foul on Aubameyang by Alaba.
11 min: Both teams have sprung tactical surprises. Bayern look like they are playing a back three, with Lahm in midfield instead of at right-back, while Sokratis is on the right of Dortmund’s defence, Bender is in the middle and Pisczek is on the left. It means the game is like some kind of popular board game.
10 min: Douglas Corta storms at Sokratis, who is playing on the right of Dortmund’s defence. He wins a corner. It comes to nothing.
8 min: Wait, here come Dortmund, instantly proving your trusty MBM reporter wrong. Some things never change, eh? Pisczek sprays a pass down the line for Mkhitaryan, whose cross is claimed by Neuer.
7 min: Bayern are beginning to settle. They’re seeing more of the ball. Dortmund might not see it for a while.
5 min: Gundogan’s dinked free-kick hits the wall and deflects behind for a corner on the left. This is good from Dortmund. Gundogan takes the corner. Neuer looks uncertain but the ball is headed away.
3 min: A long pass is lofted over the top towards Aubameyang, who’s sprinted away from Alaba. Alaba panics and tugs Aubameyang’s shirt just outside the area. Was it a goalscoring opportunity? If so, he’s off. But the referee decides otherwise and settles for a booking. I’m not sure that was the right decision.
3 min: The corner is pulled back to the edge of the area, one off the training ground, but Mkhitaryan’s shot is blocked.
2 min: Gundogan chips a pass out to Aubameyang on the right. He runs at Alaba, who heads his cross behind for a corner.
And we’re off! Borussia Dortmund, in their yellow shirts and black shorts and kicking from left to right, get the game underway, whistles from the Bayern Munich fans greeting their first touches of the ball.
The teams are out! This promises to be excellent.
“It’s not “Der teams”, but “Die Teams”,” notes Eddy Bandel. “Please, a little respect for my beautiful Sprache.”
Der Die teams are in the tunnel.
Der teams!
Bayern Munich: Neuer; Lahm, Boateng, Martinez, Alaba; Alonso, Thiago; Muller, Gotze, Costa; Leawandowski. Subs: Ulreich, Rafinha, Gaudino, Vidal, Coman, Kimmich, Steinhardt.
Borussia Dortmund: Burki; Piszczek, Hummels, Sokratis, Bender; Gündogan, Weigl; Mkhitaryan, Kagawa, Castro; Aubameyang. Subs: Weidenfeller, Park, Hofmann, Januzaj, Reus, Ramos, Ginter.
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Preamble
Hello. So Bayern Munich are top of the Bundesliga. What a surprise! Who could possibly have seen that coming? Pep Guardiola’s champions are four points clear and for all of German football’s charming qualities, the cheap tickets, the atmospheric stadiums, the close links between supporters and players, the beer, it has also become a place where one team dominates, hoovering up the best players and decimating their rivals, and once again there is a danger that Bayern will have the title wrapped up before Christmas. For the sake of the notion of competitiveness, the Bundesliga really could do with a Borussia Dortmund win this afternoon.
Dortmund are second, four points behind Bayern, and they have looked impressive under their new manager, Thomas Tuchel, who has stepped into the void left by Jurgen Klopp. They are not quite the force they were when they reached the Champions League final in 2013, losing to Bayern, but they will back themselves at the Allianz Arena this evening. The dilemma staring them in the face, however, and indeed threatening to punch them in the face, is how on earth they are going to contain their former striker, Robert Lewandowski. 10 goals in his last three matches, five in nine minutes against Wolfsburg. Tor! Tor! Tor! Tor! Tor! Tor! Tor! Tor! Tor! Tor! Sergio Aguero wants to get his act together.
Kick-off: 4.30pm BST, 5.30pm in Munich.
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