I just had the biggest disappointment of this very tough year: My publisher is delaying the release of my latest book, “until market conditions change.” This is a biggie for me, and I am sharing it with you, because I want you to know that, even with all I have and all the humans I touch, it made me want to give up.
I like to think it’s a human thing: To be happy or at least content, it’s important to feel productive and to see something good coming your way sometime in the relative or near future. When life comes down to going from the edge of your bed to the couch or the kitchen, you aren’t living much of a life. And although it may feel safe, it’s not, because living that way will allow your malaise to worsen.
Here's what giving up looks like: Despite how good your life may look from the outside, the truth is, you have stopped caring about anything.
Maybe you gave up on your unsupportive dysfunctional family years ago. Unfortunately, relying on work for emotional support is about as validating as Alexa or Siri. I see many people not just quitting their jobs in the Great Resignation but also their engagement in life.
Maybe it’s just temporary, but it may not be. You start living off your savings or a modest income from Social Security, because it feels like doing anything more than that has become just too disappointing.
It can happen in personal relationships too. When a would-be friend fails to keep their word and lets you down, it becomes not just a matter of someone canceling lunch or an outing but much more than that. Maybe it was the one thing you were looking forward to the entire week.
Disappointment can start to worm its way into your psyche, so you no longer want to put yourself out there for fear that it will happen again. And now, nothing good can come your way because you have shut yourself off from other people, so it will be a self-fulling prophecy. This is not something to look forward to.
The cure to disappointment is to find, or invent, or to even buy something that makes you have to get up in the morning, especially if you don’t want to. A rededication to your physical and mental well-being needs to take place, which can start with something as simple as a daily walk — with your dog perhaps. That’s what I’ve been doing.
You can spend your life carefully planning how to do nothing and avoid as much interaction as possible, but is that really what you want? Really? If so, I support you in your endeavor if it brings you peace and comfort. But if you are angry or sad, then you didn’t make the right choice and you might want to revisit your options.
It’s not that just getting by is a bad thing, if that’s what you have to do, but if you choose to do it, that’s another story.
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