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Lifestyle
Barton Goldsmith

Barton Goldsmith: Making your lover smile helps your mood too

When you are feeling down, helping another person can make you feel better. It's especially important to remember this in our intimate relationships. If you come home and you're grumpy, and you spread that energy around, the evening may not be as pleasant as it could be. Instead, be aware of your mood and, when you walk in the door, leave your negativity outside.

Think about who is inside, and embrace those you love. That alone will lift you out of your own troubles and tiredness. It will also keep the negativity out of your home and away from those you care for. Here are a few more tips for how to turn negative energy into something positive.

_ If you know you are not in the best of moods, remember that projecting those negative feelings onto others won't make anyone feel better. The way to avoid lashing out is to realize that the ones you love don't deserve to be the recipients of that kind of energy. You can control your behavior, even if you are in a bad mood.

_ If you are feeling sad but don't really want to talk about it, ask for a hug. The nonverbal connection you have with people you love is very powerful. Just a look from a person who loves you can give you the reassurance you need to make it through whatever is vexing you in the moment.

_ If you or your partner have had a hard day, go to bed early and just cuddle. Heartfelt affection is a great healer. It will help you get over your troubles and prepare for tomorrow. Being held is so important, no matter how strong you think you are.

_ Inexpensive little gifts can make anyone smile. I like to keep a couple of small things hidden away, so when I see the woman I love get a little upset about something, I can be right there, kissing her cheek and giving her something to play with or wear. She usually pops right out of her down mood. She even starts dancing around the house. Showing a little affection (and planning ahead) can make your life much more enjoyable.

_ Switch roles as you take care of tasks around the house. This can lift your mood, especially if you make it fun. My wife is the main cook, but every now and then I surprise her with one of my Rachael Ray recipes (last time she actually thought I had gotten takeout from a fancy restaurant). Simple acts of kindness and love are what make a relationship work.

If I'm not happy for some reason, just doing a little something for the woman I love improves my mood.

I have spent much of my life giving to others, because it has always just felt like the right thing for me to do, and it has come back to me in so many positive ways. Whenever you think life has taken away something good, reach out and make your loved ones smile.

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