For some, it is an ending; for others a beginning. In either case, it is a time of newness, and that can be scary or exciting, depending on millions of variables. But the most important one is you get to decide if you are entering into this new year with anticipation or trepidation. I actually believe we all will have some of each, but it won't be equally balanced.
One of the things that builds resentment is unmet expectations. Just like we build resentments toward other people when they let us down, the same thing can happen with life itself. I think that many depressions are actually the result of making the conscious choice to give up, after some years of difficulty, and stop living life. Instead, what happens is you're just lying around waiting to die. It sounds awful, but it is far too common to just be a cliche.
Here's the thing we all need to remember, even if we aren't dealing with a dark time in our lives: Things change. It is almost the only thing we can count on and one of the only constants in the universe, right behind human stupidity. To give up because it's been a bad year or three is not really an option, unless of course you like living in emotional turmoil and self-doubt.
There are things you can do, many things, and even if they seem small and insignificant, the truth is that what you do will grow exponentially, and really, you get better sometimes without realizing it. Upon occasion, we become so mired in our inner pain that it takes an outsider to help us see that we are actually doing better.
If you want things to stay the same, then don't make any changes. If you want life to be different, making huge changes (like picking up and moving to Hawaii) isn't necessarily the best choice either. It sounds appealing, I know. I've gone so far as to look at houses and check out openings at the university. But everyone I know is here, and starting over in a new place (even the friendliest state in the union) is a big challenge.
Instead, I decided to check out what was happening in my own backyard. There are several universities within a stone's throw, so why not take a shot? I'm at that stage where teaching is again appealing, but it's not my one and only goal. I've thought about taking my column on the road and writing about what I encounter. Whether I do all of this or none of it, the point is that it is getting me out of my own head and allowing me to think about the big picture. I know how easy it is to get wrapped up in your own drama. Loss and disappointment can make you want to quit the race. The problem with that is that you won't get to see what's coming your way _ and it could be good.
The year ahead is an unwritten book, and you get to say and do whatever you like. Go ahead and try doing the things you like to do this year. Eat what you like, go where you like, and say what you like (as long as it doesn't get you into trouble). Enjoy the little things until the big things change. They will. Count on it.
