Gift giving is a part of the holidays, and I think most everybody wants to give to someone they love. But my heart goes out to the millions of people who will not receive a gift or a card, or share a holiday meal with anyone this season.
It may be their first holiday after the loss of a significant other, they may not have family close by, they may be new to the area, or they may be suffering from a mental illness that keeps them from being social or even from leaving the house.
These are the people I would like to acknowledge this holiday season, as I have walked among you and know the loneliness that you feel. I know what it's like to live through those challenging times and change your life for the better. That is my holiday wish for anyone struggling with emotional challenges _ that you continue to fight your way out.
If you know someone who is in this place, I encourage you to invite them into your life for a little while. If that isn't possible, a card, a call, an email, or even a text would lift their spirits. When someone falls into a dark place, the holidays can be very hard, and, yes, some people do take their own lives. But this is mostly a season of hope.
People who are suffering often look at the holidays as an opportunity, a possibility, a chance for things to get better. And that's what gets them through this time of year. Most suicides actually take place in late July and August _ not the holidays _ but it's still important to watch out for someone who may be depressed right now and look in on that person. Taking this kind of action doesn't have to be just a holiday thing. It's generally a good way to be, and doing it more often could be a good New Year's resolution.
I enjoy the holidays now, but there were years when my own dark nights of the soul kept me from celebrating with loved ones. I just wouldn't let them into that place with me, and I could not walk out alone _ at least not then. Fortunately, the people who loved me knew that my grief was natural, that I was under the care of a doctor, and that I had to process what was happening, but they never let me get too far out of their sight. I was lucky, but being unable to socialize is not an uncommon mindset for those who are feeling lost and confused.
Maybe this year you can give your greatest energy to the one person who you know needs it the most. One year I ran into an old friend who was out of work, and I introduced him to another friend whom I'd once helped out, and that friend gave him a job. He still thanks me for it and says it was the best gift he's ever received.
I've received a couple of gifts like that myself, and they did change my life. Being able to give to someone on that level will also change your life. Maybe what someone needs doesn't come in a box. Maybe you can be the magical person who gives them the one thing they need most, simple human kindness and understanding.
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