Anyway, that’s us: in short, Lionel Messi is pretty good at the old association football. Thanks all for your company and comments – ta-ra.
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Ferdinand isn’t sure about Pogba, saying that if you keep him you need to build around him, but that he might want to leave. He says he’d keep Pogba, while Hargreaves says Pogba took too many touches today, but is very effective when playing quickly.
Hargreaves says that United need someone to play in front of the back four - Fred played there today and is a ballplayer. Ferdinand notes that when the top players are moving, United might not be first choice, though says if he was a player, he’d be thinking that he might catalyse the comeback.
Solskjaer says United started well and that Messi was the difference. He also says that Barca are at the level United need to reach and that they can, but there’s a lot of work to do. “We want to play these games next season, and we’ve a massive week coming up with Everton, City and Chelsea.” Gulp.
What’s happened to United over the last few weeks doesn’t tell us that Solskjaer isn’t the man for the job. To expect championship form for half a season would be ridiculous; United only played this game, and are only in the hunt for top four, because of the work Solskjaer’s done. The job is a big one, and though three brilliant signings could get them close in the league, they’re miles off a team that anyone can deem satisfactory.
He also says that United need to try and get back in the top four. More news as i get it.
Jesse Lingard says United dominated but didn’t take their chances. He seems absolutely gutted, which is kind of nice in that he turned up expecting to win - the mentality is right, even if the talent isn’t.
I love how much Rio Ferdinand loves football. he’s currnely cooing over De Jong and De Ligt.
I guess United can take some solace in Ajax’s exploits. Though they do have two generational players in De Ligt and De Jong, they’re also proof that with clever management, the right tactics and a proper mentality, you can do amazing things.
Rio Ferdinand agrees that Liverpool have a better shot against Barcelona, but also notes that they don’t have Messi. There’s a bit more to it than that - Dembele will be fitter by then, and Barca’s midfielders are so classy - but if Barca go through it’ll be because Messi takes them through.
If anyone fancies a longread about why Solskjaer was a good choice for United manager, and why he’ll probably fail anyway, here, by amazing coincidence, is one.
Wrote about why Ole Gunnar Solskjaer is a good choice as United manager, and also about why it probably won't work. https://t.co/4q5byI1m0X
— Daniel Harris (@DanielHarris) April 9, 2019
Here’s Danny Taylor’s match report:
Ajax have beaten Juventus! What a semi it’ll be against City or Spurs! Read Paul Doyle on that, here.
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As for United, they’ve still got a chance of making next season’s competition, but will probably have to beat Everton on Sunday. Assuming they lose to City next midweek, they’ll already need Arsenal to drop points in two games and to win all their others.
In the longer term, they just need better players - the question is whether the board will pay for them. The evidence of the last 14 years says not, in which case it’s a case of getting the permitted purchases right with no margin for error, and waiting for the younger players to be ready.
So what’s next? Well, for Barca, the most likely assignment is a tie with Liverpool, and I’ve no idea how that might go. If Messi turns up, he can ruin any team, but Liverpool’s midfield will make it harder than United’s could simply by virtue of their running power. And their front three are obviously much better than United’s, though the first leg being in Catalunya will help Barca if they can get themselves a lead.
They’re still playing in Turin, but Juve need two goals in what’s left of injury-time if they’re to beat Ajax.
Barcelona were far, far too good for United tonight. United might’ve made it a more interesting night had they taken their chances in the opening minutes, but once Messi picked the ball up and spirited home that first goal, it was a matter, not of how but how many. He is unfathomably, humiliatingly, inspirationally, epochally wonderful, and we are honoured to be living in his time.
Full-time: Barcelona 3-0 Man United (agg 4-0)
This is fairly conclusive.
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90+1 min Barcelona barge forward with Vidal, who pokes across to box and Suarez opens his legs to find Messi, seeking his hat-trick; he smashes a shot, but it’s straight at De Gea, who prangs away with an uppercutting arm.
90 min There’ll be two additional minutes.
90 min Here come United! Dalot charges down the right and leaps into a lovely, curling cross at which Sanchez dives, near post; he makes great contact too, and Ter Stegen is off the other way, expecting the ball to Lukaku in the middle. But he does brilliantly to right himself, getting a strong hand to push away.
89 min Suarez, still without a European goal this season, ducks inside Fred then outside - that’s lovely feet - then digs out a chip that sails over the bar.
89 min “Would have been a different story if it was Dundee United at Camp Nou in a European quarter final,” remembers Simon McMahon. “The past is indeed a foreign country.”
Funny you should mention that; I think it was me who said...
87 min “I actually do agree with you on Phil,’ returns Hubert O’Hearn. “When he was switched on, he’d harry the opposition, tackle, make interceptions etc. Problem was, you couldn’t count on him to do that every match. Even 3 out of 4 isn’t good enough at this level.”
It’s not just that, I don’t think - if you’re going to play on the wing for Barcelona, you need pace and the ability to go on the outside. If you’re going to play in midfield, then you need to be involved all the time.
84 min Barca are sort of looking for a fourth, but not with any edge. United will consider themselves lucky to get out of this with a 3-0, if indeed they do.
82 min “Much in the way Fergie decided to cut Ince from his first great team after that Barca hammering in 94,” tweets Patrick O’Brien, “do you reckon Ole might dish out the same treatment to Pogba this summer?”
It’s a tricky one, this. On the one hand, if United want to improve, getting rid of their most talented player sounds like a bad move. Buuuuut, Pogba is 26 now, so the player we see is the player he is, and as far as I can see, he’ll only ever be an adornment. In a better team, that’s useful to have - hell, in a crap team it’s still worth a fair few goals and assists a season. But I wonder if it’s possible to balance a midfield with him in it, because he does a number 10’s amount of work without delivering a number 10’s numbers.
81 min And another change for Barca: Coutinho accepts the applause as he leaves, but probably wondering how much of it is actually for Dembele, replacing him.
80 min United get serious: Sanchez replaced Lingard. Now you’ll see something.
79 min Busquets gives it away - I feel honoured to type those words, not many have - and Lingard pounces, driving a curler that’s not that far over the bar. United are coming back into this.
77 min Smalling has the audacity to tackle Suarez, and when the ref fails to give a foul, Suarez is booked for hectoring him.
76 min Ah, I missed Mr O’Hearn’s first tweet, which reads thusly: “Meanwhile, around the globe, sportswriters search their Thesaurus for original ways of expressing ‘inevitably’, ‘meekly’ and ‘surrendered’.”
I’m not so sure about that one - I think United have done their best, it’s just that their best is nowhere near good enough. I don’t think they’ve not competed hard and I don’t think they’ve given up, I just think the game reflects the class imbalance.
75 min Another change for Barca: Vidal replaces Arthur, who’s been excellent tonight.
74 min Suarez arse-wiggles forward, so Fred hitchkicks into a tackle, winning the ball. Suarez reckons it’s a foul, so picks the ball up, and is penalised for handball. He accepts this with typical grace.
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73 min “Your comment on Phil Coutinho reminds me of the late NFL coach Buddy Ryan,” tweets Hubert O’Hearn, “who griped about one of his wide receivers Cris Carter, ‘All he does is score touchdowns’.”
At the elite level, it’s not enough to hammer in a few pearlers, especially in a flowing game like football. Coutinho has a lot of work to do, I’d say, as the only real future for him at Barca is in the midfield three.
Oh, and Lukaku replaces Rashford, who’s being saved.
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71 min Change for Barca: Semedo replaces Sergi Roberto.
70 min Well! Ajax have scored again in Turin, thorugh De Ligt! Juve now need to score twice! And the Nou Camp crowd absolutely love it.
68 min “Martial’s a weird one,” emails Matt Dony. “They bought him before the transfer market went (even more) crazy, so the £35m+ fee seemed absolutely hilarious. Then I watched him play as they eased him into the team, and stopped laughing. Especially against Liverpool. Now, it just seems kinda funny again.”
He’s got a lot of the raw materials, but doesn’t seem to have the drive and competitive mania that you need. I should say, people think that stuff is easy, and a given - “If I had the technical skill, I’d run like mad in every game” - but it’s nonsense. Fighters go in the ring having skived in training, which tells you that people skive at anything, and mentality is a skill. Sport is simple, but humans are complicated.
67 min There’s stuff going on in the Premier League: Cardiff are 2-0 up away to Brighton, who are about to close the gap between the clubs to two points, a game in hand, and an easier run-in.
66 min Phil Jones has removed his bandage. Barca are in trouble now.
65 min Change for United: Dalot replaces Martial, who has done a lot of nothing once again.
64 min My word, there’s a long time to go in this game. Time is illmatic, keep static like wool fabric, as Nas once said. Anyway, Busquets lifts a ball into the box, Messi can;’t quite get at it, but it bounces down and he flips into an overhead that flies just past the far post.
64 min I’m pretty sure United would shake hands on 4-0 here. They should be so lucky.
BRILLIANT GOAL! Barcelona 3-0 Man United (Coutinho 61) (agg 4-0)
You don’t even need me to describe this! Messi, under no pressure, clips a ball out to Jordi Alba who feeds back inside to Coutinho, 25 yards out, left of centre. He looks up, the unfurls a curler that he places past De Gea and into the roof of the net for another superb goal. And he celebrates with his fingers in his ears and such, but the thing is, everyone knows he can do that - the problem is what, if anything, else he does.
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60 min “From your MBM,” tweets Sam Jones, “I get the distinct impression that Jones may need to find a darkened room in which to rock back and forth later tonight.”
He’s actually not had a terrible game, but what can you do? If I may namedrop, Kevin Pietersen once told me that when England were flayed by Sehwag and Tendulkar in that amazing Test, in the middle of being gutted he realised how lucky he was to be stood at mid off in such close proximity to such unbelievable brilliance. So there’s that.
57 min A long ball down the middle looks like it’s finding Rashford, but he can’t quite arrange his limbs, or there’s too much on it, and Barca break. Suarez finds Messi, gliding towards the United back four, and he opens his body to feed in Coutinho ... but Lindelof rips himself in half stretching to intercept.
55 min Talking of Martial, for how much longer should United persevere with him? He has lovely skill when running with the ball and is a decent finisher too, but likes to receive possession standing still, hardly ever runs in behind, and almost never gambles when a team-mate shoots, to get himself a tap-in. And the thing is, these aren’t difficult problems to solve, requiring will not skill. If he’s not sorted it by now, why will he sort it in the future?
54 min Young curls to the back post, but the ball is too high for Smalling, who can only head up into the air.
54 min Martial runs at Sergi Roberto, who doesn’t know which way to turn as his man weaves inside and outside, eventually glad to concede a corner.
53 min Messi flights his cross into De Gea’s arms.
52 min Jones was that kid who’d take deodorant on his arm til you worried it was gonna burn away. Again, he goes out to meet Messi, sees him go by, and eventually McTominay administers the foul, close to the right corner flag.
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49 min In a way, United could use a hiding here - hear me out. The Glazers aren in the crowd, and could do with seeing just how far United are from contending for this trophy. There are other ways to close the gap beyond spending money - good coaching, clever tactics and promoting youth - but that’s not going to be enough. United need to buy two serious midfielders and a right-winger to contend domestically, and if they plan to take on the best, they need a centre-back as well.
48 min Lovely from Barca, Coutinho to Alba, who could pick out Suarez in the middle but instead cuts back for Messi; he opens his body to try a left-footed curler ... De Gea has it covered, but Young extends a leg to deflect behind. The corner comes to nowt.
47 min When Barca went 3-1 up in the 2011 final, with 21 minutes still to go, Rooney asked their players to take it easy. I wonder if anyone fancies doing likewise tonight.
46 min Off we go again...
Right then, the players are back...
“Just seen the first goal,” tweets Gary Naylor. “Fred has to obstruct him and take the yellow once Messi is on his left foot 30 yards from goal doesn’t he? It’s what Fernandinho would have done.”
In retrospect, he has to do anything he can, but it happened so quickly that I’m not sure he could’ve done given his body position. Fernandinho has the muscle memory, so is a different case.
Half-time email: “All is not lost for United,” reckons Charles Antaki. “They have a secret agent in the Barcelona side, i.e. Philippe Coutinho, who is doing exceptionally well at contributing virtually nothing, and giving the ball away in a charitable manner. Apparently he’s looking for a new club in the summer.”
I think Barca said yesterday that he’s definitely staying, but I’m not altogether surprised that he’s struggling. First of all, he’s not a winger - least of all in a side who like to stretch the pitch - and he’s a player who can win you a game but won’t really help you control it. if he’s not sticking in brilliant finishes from around the edge of the box, he’s not generally doing that much.
I’ve no idea how United approach the second half. Trying to keep the score down isn’t good for business, especially if it doesn’t work out, but trying to fight back is asking for trouble. Exciting!
Half-time: Barcelona 2-0 Manchester United (agg 3-0)
United gave it a brave go in the early stages and has Rashford scored not hit the bar, who knows. Ok, we all do - Barca have Messi, and in the context of this tie - in the context of most ties - that’s enough.
45+1 min Messimessimessimessimessimessimessimessimessimessimessimessimessimessimessi! He comes short and as the ball’s played into him, he feints left then turns right, diddling Jones, before megging him for the lols and zoning forward to find Jordi Alba on his outside. The ensuing cross is a beauty, low and hard for Sergi Roberto at the back post, and he slides in to shoot, but somehow De Gea, making up ground from the other side of his goal, dives to keep it out. That was glorious from all concerned.
45 +1 min There’ll be two added minutes, both of them consumed by Barcelona toying with United and ball.
45 min “United’s light rose away shirt looks like watered-down Palermo to me,” reckons Peter Oh. “Anyway, about the scoreline. Barça are sitting pretty now, ain’t they?”
The kit looks like when Tracy in Jossy’s Giants washed their white away kit with her hockey bibs.
44 min Rashford smashes into the wall. And before you ask me for predictions of equivalent soothsaying, tomorrow is Wednesday.
43 min Pogba scythes through midfield and Rakitic slides him down; free-kick United, 25 yards out, just left of the D. Rashford looks like he’s having it, so presumably will smash into the wall..
41 min Barca win a free-kick down the right 30 yards from goal, and Messi picks out Rakitic at the near post, running from out to in; no one bothers to go with him, but he can only guide a header straight at De Gea. That’s a spectacular save, by the standard.
41 min “You say Messi is better on grass,” tweets Michael Hann, “but to paraphrase a now-disgraced American athlete, has he ever smoked AstroTurf?”
I think he’s more a 3G man, man.
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40 min Slightly better from United, Rashford finding space down the left after a few consecutive passes and nicking away from Rakitic to drive a low cross, but Lenglet is there to clear.
38 min United’s first attack in sometime and Pogba, who seems to lost his goals from range in the elan black-hole that is post-Fergie United, dribbles an effort straight at Ter Stegen.
37 min There’s a tie brewing in Turin! Van de Beek has equalised for Ajax, who now need to score once to force Juve to score twice!
36 min Pogba tries to force the issue, close to halfway but inside his own half, and takes a succession of hacks at Arthur. Gosh, he really showed everyone.
35 min Messi fancies a shot - he wants to put De Gea under pressure again, I shouldn’t wonder - and who’s about to argue with him? But he wafts over the bar, and United try to do something, anything.
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34 min Barca are enjoying this, popping the ball about as United struggle to stop them. Fred pulls Rakitic back, then catches the back of his heel, and Barca have a free-kick about 40 yards out, dead centre.
33 min United have not had decent possession for quite sometime. While we wait for Barca to score again, what on earth is wrong with David de Gea? His kicking has gone, he’s never dominated his box less, and he’s making more errors than once. His reactions are still immense, but this has not been a good season for him.
31 min Another one to crtl c, ctrl v: Ronaldo has scored for Juventus against Ajax, putting them 2-1 up on aggregate. His record in the knockout stages of this competition is absolutely obscene - though Messi is obviously better on grass, you can make a strong case that he is better on paper.
30 min It’s been bothering me, who Messi reminds me of. Not anymore.
28 min A quiet period, which is the respite United needed.
26 min Jordi Alba has started the game brilliantly, and Lindelof is struggling to handle him and Coutinho with no help. He breaks down the left again and finds Rakitic, who clips into the box; Messi is first to the ball and nicks it away in a trice before panelling a shot over the bar.
24 min Barca are playing a back three now, with Busquets between Lenglet and Pique - at least when United have the ball. Which isn’t that often, at the moment.
23 min “The most remarkable thing about Larsson’s spellat Man United,” emails Simon McMahon, is that it was IN 2007!!! Time really does speed up the older you get. Soon I’ll be eating breakfast every five minutes.”
This sounds like an excellent ruse, and well worth wearing a suit to go to the newsagent.
22 min “The ‘Walking’ in ‘Walking to Glory’ sounds like a schoolchild’s go at translating ‘Caminando’,” advises Charles Antaki, “but to be fair, caminar can mean to walk, but also, presumably more appropriately, moving or, better marching. Here endeth the evening class Spanish lesson, misremembered from a very long time ago.”
GOAL! Barcelona 2-0 Manchester United (Messi 20) (agg 3-0)
Er, I think this one might just be over. McTominay and Fred do well to unload Coutinho, but the ball breaks for Messi, who eyes up Jones and quickly swerves away, as you would, before hitting a pretty tame right-footer over which De Gea somehow dives, allowing it to squirm under him and in. This could get, er, messy.
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18 min United now need to score twice, as they were always going to have to. The problem is that they’ve not finished conceding.
WHAT A GOAL! A LOVELY GOAL! Barcelona 1-0 Manchester United (Messi 16) (agg 2-0)
He is so, so, so, so, so good. Deep inside his own half and close to the touchline, Young hangs onto the ball for what seems like 10 minutes then eventually loses it and Messi pounces then megs Fred, of course he does, then Jones sells himself, of course he does, and suddenly Messi’s central and with a clear sight of goal. Naturally, he measures a perfect, low, curling finish into the far corner for a perfectly routine piece of association football by his ludicrous standard.
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15 min Alba goes down the left and swings over a fine cross; Suarez is just adjusting his position at the back post to cushion home the opener and race off celebrating, parading his magnificence in front of all his friends, when Jones pokes out a head to send the ball away. Excellent de-fence.
14 min United are in this game, Rashford screeching at Pique and making an angle for a shot, only to slip in the process of applying it. Ter Stegem saves easily, but United are finding space without much difficulty here.
12 min We restart with a drop-ball in the United box - I’ not sure how Rakitic has got away with that - and it goes behind for a goalkick.
NO PENALTY TO BARCELONA!
The ref goes to look at the screen, sees what happened, and reverses his decision.
PENALTY TO BARCELONA!
Given for Fred’s foul on Rakitic, but that’s never one “for me”. Fred gets in front of his man, stands his ground and moves the ball away, as Rakitic vaults over him. I think we’ll see this overturned, which is funny because the ref was so pleased with himself when he awarded it, contemptuously shaking his head when the United players appealed.
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10 min In defence, United’s first line has Lingard in the middle and Rashford on the right. But the pattern of things has changed slightly, Barca pushing and United looking to break; Pogba has to clear another corner, and...
8 min Alba makes his first foray forward and wins a corner off Jones. United get it away and Sergi Roberto crosses from the right, but Smalling is up to chuck a go-go gadget neck which gets rid well.
7 min “Missed all the build up,” emails Matt Dony, “just caught the first couple of minutes. Barcelona are in pink, yeah?”
This really is very strange. United are pushing the pace, and not only that, but playing with some quality.
6 min Martial and Lingard link, the latter scurrying into the box after a bouncing ball, and forcing three defenders to hack about til one of them sees it away. And back come United!
5 min “ALDI’s interesting new beer is a hitherto unsuspected 6.8%,” says Geoff Wignall, “and I’ve been up since 5:00a.m; wanna fight? (He says from the safety of central Portugal).”
Hold me back, hold me back.
4 min ... Young hits the first man, ctrl c, ctrl v.
4 min This is a fine start from United, and Rashford wins a corner down the right...
3 min United come again and this time McTominay breaks through the middle, but can’t quite gather Rashford’s pass into his stride. If he had, he was in.
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2 min Jones is playing centre-back, with Lindelof on the right, and here comes Coutinho down the left; Smalling dhalsims into a fine sliding tackle.
1 min Marcus Rashford hits the bar! United enjoy some nice possession, moving the ball with tempo, and Pogba flips a ball around the corner for Rashford! He’s in behind, but doesn’t have a great angle, so jabs a dink over Ter Stegen and onto the face of the bar!
1 min United are all over them!
1 min United get us away. For those watching in black and white, they’re wearing the pink shirts.
Ashley Young and Leo Messi shake hands, then hug. I can only assume Young promised a mate he’d achieve that.
Uefa gets lots wrong, but:
Ce sont les meilleures équipes
Es sind die allerbesten Mannschaften
The main event
Die Meister
Die Besten
Les grandes équipes
The champions
Une grande réunion
Eine grosse sportliche Veranstaltung
The main event
Die Meister
Die Besten
Les grandes équipes
The champions
Ils sont les meilleurs
Sie sind die Besten
These are the champions
“WALKING TO GLORY” reads a banner behind the goal, which seems like a lot of trouble to go to for what is, let’s be real, a slogan that’s mediocre at best and dying to be misread at worst.
Here they come! The noise is pretty aight.
The Barca anthem starts up and the flags start going. Things are warming up, and the players are in the tunnel, Phil Jones with a bandage around his head, presumably to stop brain seeping out.
They’ve been absolutely blasting the tunes at Camp Nou – someone had the brainwave to put on Eye of the Tiger, bound to end in disappointment when Raymond van Barneveld didn’t show. Tangentially, I saw the weirdest pre-match entertainment I’ve ever seen at Camp Nou, and this was it – feel free to send in your favourites too.
“Did Saha’s increasing injury problems not do more to disrupt his partnership with Rooney in 06/07 than on-loan Henrik?” asks Booboo76.
Those didn’t help. But if you look through January and February 2007, you’ll see Larsson starting, Saha on the bench, goals drying up and performances deteriorating.
“You could have a fight about whether Sergi Roberto is more defensive than Semedo,” emails Charles Antaki. “Roberto has more experience playing in the middle (and indeed everywhere else) for the team (and for the national team), while Semedo, though faster, seems naturally glued to the touchline. Both do crosses, to be sure, but Roberto can also come in a bit, and can score a goal or two. (Inevitably, watch as he never leaves his half, and scores an own goal).”
I could have a fight about anything. Who wants a straightener?
Rio Ferdinand says he hopes Solskjaer is lying about an open game, and trying to psyche Barca out. I’m inclined to agree, because if United try to get out in midfield, they’re getting passed around.
Ole speaks: “We can’t wait to get it started ... be disciplined, work harder than ever, ride our luck ... but we need more quality than last Wednesday ... express ourselves.”
He also reckons United have a better chance in an open game and says United can’t sit back and wait for errors - “we need to go a little bit at them”.
“We’ve picked a team we think can solve most of the problems they can set us, but we can’t afford to have five at the back.”
Didn't want Martial to start but never thought I'd get this lucky. #UCL #BARMUN #BarcaMUFC @DanielHarris pic.twitter.com/J50dfQqF7w
— Blaine J Rodrigues (@GandalfGreyArea) April 16, 2019
“Camp Nou & OT are the same size,” chides Christopher Smith, “at least per Wikipedia (which also currently has the stadium being demolished by Ole and the boys tonight, mind you).”
My favourite 80s prog-country band, by far. I guess the size of the ground make it look bigger, same way, to paraphrase John Toshack, time passes more slowly in the Bernabeu. Tangentially, I’d forgotten until yesterday that before the 99 final, Bayern successfully lobbied to have the pitch narrowed. If only they’d applied that same attention to detail to their finishing.
Rio Ferdinand reckons United can take their time in this game, and I agree. Even if they go one down, well, the likelihood is they need to score twice anyway. And they’re capable of that, but they’ll need to play a lot better than they did last week, where they just lacked the class and cohesion around the box. I’m sure they’ve been practising some set-piece moves, but they also need to improve their give and goes. or should that be gives and go, I don’t know.
OK, go on. Let’s cast our footballing Game of Thrones. I can think of about 1063 Joffreys.
Owen Hargreaves took United’s first leg defeat hard.
Henrik Larsson is on the pitch with Des Kelly, so an unpopular opinion: he was an absolutely useless signing for United. He scored only one crucial goal, and because Fergie was so smug about the situation, he disturbed the Rooney-Saha partnership and that team was never as electrifying again.
Barcelona haven’t lost a European home game in six years, and in that time they’ve never conceded more than once. In fairness, though, they’ve never come up against your Freds and your Lingards.
“Just seen the lineups,” emails my colleague Paul Doyle.” Out of interest, what’s United’s biggest ever defeat in Europe?”
I can answer that! I can answer that! The lost 5-0 to Sporting Clube in the 63-64 Cup Winners’ Cup, having won the first leg 4-1.
As it happens, I think the line-up is more or less United’s strongest in the circumstances. I might’ve played Dalot at right-back and gone with five defenders, leaving out Martial. But we’re rearranging the deckchairs, I suppose.
On BT, they’re rhapsodising Scott McTominio. Hargreaves says that he had a good game for Bayern against Madrid in the 01 semi, and that made his career; he reckons the same has just happened to McTominio.
And he’s a funny one. Last season, I concede, I saw almost nothing in him - it looked like Mourinho was trying to replace Pogba with the worst possible player to wind him up the maximum extent. But he’s played with much more dynamism and authority recently, to suggest that he can at least be a squad player. For United to be relying on him tonight, though, should shame every other midfielder at the club.
“FCB could take MUFC to the cleaners here tonight,” predicts John McEnerney. “First leg they showed their class in possession this evening they’ll show their teeth and boy what a set of gnashers they have! They’ll come bursting out of the gates and hit United early & then take them apart! 4-0 or 5.”
I’m not sure about that. I’d expect Barca to be circumspect early on because they’ve no need to force the issue and won’t want to expose their defence. Obviously they’re much better than United, but I’d expect them to ease to a 2-0.
A back-four featuring Alas Smalling and Jones, plus Ashley Young, in the year 2019 C.E. – absolutely remarkable.
“A refreshing absence of half-and-half scarves in the preamble photo, I must say,” emails Peter Oh. “I imagine that Marcus Rashford will be particularly motivated to impress. Which side, I’m not sure. In any case, it should be an entertaining game and I look forward to following it on your Mes Que Un Blog.”
A Euro away is probably the place that they’re least unacceptable. I’m not sure the game will be so entertaining, though - that doesn’t especially suit either side.
United have had a win already - Coutinho starting instead of Dembele is to their advantage. I’ve a feeling he might like a look at United’s full-backs; heyzoos, I’ve a feeling I’d like a look at United’s full-backs.
Just the one change from the first leg for Barcelona, and it’s a defensive one: Sergi Roberto is in for Nelson Semedo.
As for United, Jones comes in at right-back with Young moving left to cover the suspended Shaw; I’m a little surprised Dalot isn’t playing, because Coutinho isn’t much into running back and Jordi Alba leaves space in behind. In front of them, the midfield is the same, with McTominao set to dominate once more while, up front, Lingard and Martial are in - in theory that makes sense, because both have pace and skill, but in reality is a gamble, because both are in rotten nick - and Lukaku drops out. That is unsurprising, because when the ball goes forward, it’ll need to stick, and if a chance comes, it’ll need taking.
Equips estan aquí!
Barcelona (a matter of principle 4-3-3): Ter Stegen; Sergi Roberto, Piqué, Lenglet, Alba; Rakitic, Busquets, Arthur; Messi, Suárez y Coutinho. Subs: Cillessen, Semedo, Umtitti, Alena, Vidal, Malcolm, Dembele.
Manchester United (a theoretical 4-3-3): De Gea; Jones, Lindelöf, Smalling, Young; McTominay, Pogba, Fred; Lingard, Martial, Rashford. Subs: Romero, Dalot, Matic, Mata, Pereira, Sanchez, Lukaku.
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Preamble
For Manchester United fans, the last few months have been the most uplifting since Alex Ferguson retired and winter came. A low bar, admittedly, but nonetheless: where once there was José, now there is hopé.
But is there really? If you think this has a happy ending, then you haven’t been paying attention. Never before has there been a season which, at this late stage, retains the capacity for such multifarious awfulness – verily, the night is dark and full of terrors. And, at the end of it, Manchester City might win a domestic treble, something Manchester United have never managed; or they might win the actual treble something Manchester United have managed; or they might win absolutely everything.
Alternatively, Liverpool might win their first league in 29 years, perhaps thanks to a helping hand from United; or Liverpool might win their first league in 29 years, perhaps thanks to a helping hand from United, then add to it a sixth European Cup; or Liverpool might share every trophy with City, a sweep culminating in a European Cup final that, for United fans, will forever be known as the Battle of the Bastards.
And yet, the question begs: do United even want to win tonight? A silly question, you might think, but stick with me. What happens if their reward for so doing is a pumping from Liverpool, who then go on to reclaim Ol Big Ears? Or what happens if they somehow sneak by Liverpool as well, only to be brutally murdered by quadruple-chasing City in the final, their very own red wedding. Some old wounds never truly heal, and bleed again at the slightest word.
Of course, these are all worstest case scenarios. More likely, United subside gently this evening and then hope that Ronaldo and Messi can, between them, limit the season to a straight, upstanding worst. The Nou Camp pitch is wide, and it’s hard to see how United can cover all of it, at the same time as keeping Messi, Suarez and Dembele quiet, at the same time as finding a goal or two for themselves.
But, at 1-0, they’re not entirely out of things - leave one wolf alive, and the sheep are never safe. The thing is, that though Barca are good, they’re not that good - the same issues that make them unreliable insurance also render them slightly vulnerable Their defence is far from the tightest, their midfield is slow, and in Paul Pogba and Marcus Rashford, United have players able to trouble any team – on a good day. Today will need to be their best day. Dracarys!
Kick-off: 8pm BST
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