Right, that’s it for me. I wish I could bring you a couple of Premier League match reports before I go, but they’re still getting a final polish. Here’s something on Blackburn 1-2 Leeds while you wait. Thanks for being there, bye!
Follow Everton v Chelsea live, with Rob Smyth, here. Now!
Bournemouth’s Max Gradel does some post-match chattage:
It’s great. It’s very nice. I’m happy with the way we are playing at the moment. We just need to keep going. At the start of the season we believed in ourselves. We had bad news with injury but we stuck together, and today we are very pleased for everyone at the club.
Meanwhile in Exeter, it’s 1-1 at half time.
1 hour 55 minutes between kick off and the half time whistle #cufc
— Carlisle United FC (@officialcufc) March 12, 2016
Updated
Final score: Stoke 1-2 Southampton. It should have been more, with Tadic passing up a wonderful chance just before half time, and referee Lee Mason makes himself the focus of post-match debate with an idiotic late red card: “How is this guy chosen to referee in the Premier League?” wonders Jan Schreuder.
Barcelona have beaten Getafe 6-0. Bit of a boring second half there.
Updated
“Since February, Barcelona have outscored their opponents 40 to 6,” writes Dean Potter. “Who wants to watch their team win by four, five, six goals every week? Eleven year old boys, that’s who.”
And Bristol City have scored what looks very much like a late winner at Fulham, where it’s 2-1. Big goal at the bottom of the Championship.
Rotherham have equalised against Derby! What a comeback there! Goals in the 83rd, 85th and 91st minutes to come back from 0-3!
Final score: Bournemouth 3-2 Swansea, taking the Cherries to 38 points and, surely, total safety.
Sadio Mané is sent off! Southampton go down to 10 men! He leaps for a running header, doesn’t win it, and doesn’t really do much else either. He does go into, I think, Pieters, but there’s very little in it. Saints will finish the game with 10 men, but there’s no way he’s not getting that one overturned on appeal.
Updated
Stoke meanwhile have five additional minutes in which to find an equaliser of their own at home to Southampton.
Into stoppage time at Bournemouth, and Swansea have four more minutes in which to sniff out another equaliser.
Derby, 3-0 up with 10 minutes to play, are 3-2 up with five to go, Rotherham having scored two in quick succession.
Southampton hit the bar! Ward-Prowse takes a free-kick, a good 25 yards out, and it dips onto the meat of the bar, thuds into it and then bounces back into play!
“Neymar has passed up two perfectly decent chances to make it 7 and 8,” writes Charles Antaki. “And he’s up against a speedy pair of defenders on his side of the pitch. One wonders if Per Mertesacker is looking on and making the odd note ahead of their meeting next week?” Arsenal just need to make sure they get past Watford tomorrow – their Champions League race is surely run.
The teams for this evening’s FA Cup quarter-final:
Everton: Robles, Coleman, Jagielka, Funes Mori, Baines, McCarthy, Barry, Lennon, Barkley, Cleverley, Lukaku. Subs: Stones, Kone, Niasse, Besic, Deulofeu, Osman, Howard.
Chelsea: Courtois, Azpilicueta, Cahill, Ivanovic, Kenedy, Mikel, Matic, Willian, Fabregas, Pedro, Costa. Subs: Begovic, Baba, Oscar, Traore, Remy, Terry, Loftus-Cheek.
Referee: Michael Oliver.
Ooooh! Bournemouth come close to a fourth! Grabban tries a chip from the edge of the area, and Fabianski tips it over the bar!
An answer, of sorts: Carlisle’s official Twitter feed says it was a 29th-minute goal. Exeter’s says it came in minute 32.
Carlisle have equalised at Exeter. Frankly I’ve got no idea how many minutes are on the clock there.
GOAL! Bournemouth 3-2 Swansea! Bournemouth take the lead again! It’s a high, looping cross from the left and Steve Cook climbs above his marker and thumps his header in at the far post!
Updated
No penalty! Tadic runs into the Stoke penalty area, gets to the ball just ahead of Butland and goes a-tumbling. The referee is not impressed! I’ve got to say, that looks a penalty to me. There wasn’t any contact, but only because Tadic vaulted Butland’s outstretched leg – he should have just run into it.
Marlon Pack has brought Bristol City level at Fulham in the Championship just-outside-the-bottom-three six-pointer.
Mark Turner emails with a goal-scoring stat: “Europe’s top goal-scoring teams, 2015/16 Season to date: Real Madrid: 105 goals; Borussia Dortmund: 103 goals; Messi/Neymar/Suarez: 103 goals.” On the downside, Getafe just nearly came close to perhaps possibly potentially almost scoring, a low shot rumbling across goal but just wide of the far post.
Championship promotion-chasing update: Of the top six, starting at first and working my way down, Burnley are 3-1 up and in control at Huddersfield, second-place Middlesbrough play tomorrow (potentially without their manager), Brighton have the weekend off, Hull are drawing against MK Dons, Derby are 3-0 up at Rotherham and Sheffield Wednesday lead 2-0 at Nottingham Forest.
Updated
“If Arda Turan is scoring with a bicycle kick, the visitors can more or less write the day off,” notes Charles Antaki. At 0-6 down with half an hour to play, I think they probably might as well.
GOAL! Bournemouth 2-2 Swansea! Sigurdsson scores again! The ball is pulled back from the right and Sigurdsson gets in front of Gomis, flicks the ball up with his right foot, and then smacks it on the half-volley high into far corner. Unstoppable.
Updated
Exeter v Carlisle is back under way!
“He’s only scored one and he missed a penno earlier too, by my stars and blinking flip you ought to see what Lionel Messi’s doing to Getafe this afternoon,” writes Mark Turner. “Sid Lowe will need one of those ‘In the annals of …’ or ‘Even by his high standards …’ clichés in his report later.” I do think that, as a service to the nation, a handful of Barcelona games should be broadcast on free-to-air terrestrial television at some point this season. The people of our great nation deserve this.
Hull weren’t behind for long – Sam Clucas has equalised for them against MK Dons.
GOAL! Barcelona 6-0 Getafe! Arda Turan scores with an unusually gentle overhead, wrong-footing the Getafe goalkeeper from six yards and going in at the near post.
Updated
Hull have gone a goal down at home to MK Dons, Antony Kay heading his side in front. And here’s commentary on the most exciting bit of what turned out (thankfully) to be an underwhelming fire scare at Exeter. It is admirably downbeat.
GOAL! Stoke 1-2 Southampton! The home side are back in it, Arnautovic grabbing the goal, flicking out a right boot to divert a low left-wing cross into the roof of the net!
Updated
GOAL! Barcelona 5-0 Getafe. OK, Barcelona, you can stop trying now. Neymar grabs his second, played in by another Messi through-ball and his own precise control.
GOAL! Bournemouth 2-1 Swansea! Josh King puts the home team back in front, shooting in off the near post after Swansea give the ball away in their own half. Leroy Fer is the guilty party here, with a really silly pass to put his team in trouble, but Fabianski might feel a little red-faced as well.
Updated
“Wow a photo and mention for the mighty Dover Athletic, now with environmentally friendly buggy,” writes Tim Smith. “Times have changed over my 29 years away. I can vouch for the steepness of the Crabble hill. Half expected to see my old man getting a ride, as he will be at the game today.” Hello Daddy Smith!
We’re back under way, and there’s even something for the fans to watch at Exeter, as the players come back out to warm up again.
Fans have been let back into the stand at Exeter, but warned that the “game cannot resume until the problem is rectified with floodlights at top of the old grandstand”.
It’s 0-0 at half-time between Häcken and Halmstad in the Svenska Cupen, incidentally.
That Tadic miss just gets more embarrassing the more you see it. Southampton should be three up, but have to make do with two at the break.
Southampton miss an absolute sitter at Stoke, where Tadic is given the ball in all sorts of space in the penalty area, but instead of shooting he decides to make a series of unnecessary twiddles and turns, and eventually Cameron steals the ball off him.
It’s half time at Bournemouth, 1-1.
We have a news story on the Exeter stoppage, though stay here for the very latest.
Into stoppage time we scream, and there will be three minutes of it, or so, at Stoke, and just the one at Bournemouth.
Hopefully the next update from Exeter will come when play has restarted.
"Final checks" taking place and it's hoped the game will be able to resume - Tannoy
— Jon Colman (@joncolman) March 12, 2016
GOAL! Barcelona 4-0 Getafe, and Messi has finally got a goal of his own. He gets the ball 25 yards out and the defenders show absolutely no inclination to close him down, so he hits a left-footed shot into the corner of the goal.
Sounds like the panic is over at Exeter:
Small fire at St James Park has been extinguished and game is due to restart as Exeter lead Carlisle 1-0 @itvfootball
— Seth Conway (@sethconwayitv) March 12, 2016
Barcelona, meanwhile, have hit the bar, to add to their three goals and missed penalty inside the first 40 minutes. “Barça’s proper goal has come, again courtesy of a pass from Messi, this time to allow Neymar to slot home into the far corner,” writes temporary unofficial Barcelona correspondent Charles Antaki. “Messi’s ball seemed to speed up and slow down so as to arrive at the perfect moment for Neymar’s right boot to find it; has Messi some sort of psychokinetic control, as well as all his other extraterrestrial powers?”
GOAL! Bournemouth 1-1 Swansea! Modou Barrow picks up the ball on the right, cuts inside, keeps cutting inside and finally shoots low and left-footed across goal and in!
GOAL! Bournemouth 1-0 Swansea! Max Gradel has scored – Smith’s cross was palmed away by Fabianski and Max Gradel ran onto the ball, 15 yards out, and slid it perfectly in at the far post.
Updated
Messi is rubbish – official!
Neymar has scored his 50th La Liga goal in his 84th app - Messi took 103 apps to reach 50, whilst Cristiano Ronaldo took 51 games
— Sky Sports Statto (@SkySportsStatto) March 12, 2016
More from Exeter:
Tannoy says investigation by fire service is continuing. No decision on game resuming has been made yet.
— Jon Colman (@joncolman) March 12, 2016
Evacuated stand pic.twitter.com/07r3tlpvvf
— Lee Beattie (@cufclee) March 12, 2016
GOAL! It’s Barcelona 3-0 Getafe, and Neymar gets on the scoresheet, running onto Messi’s pass between two defenders, and curling a first-time, right-footed shot in at the far past. Half an hour played, game over.
Updated
Charles Antaki reports on Barcelona’s second goal: “A spooned pass into Messi’s path from Iniesta and what may have been a badly fluffed shot into the far corner, which turned into a magnificent assist straight to Munir’s forehead and from there into the back of the net,” he writes. “A missed penalty, an own-goal and one the result of a mis-kick. Barcelona might even score a proper goal at some point.”
GOAL! Stoke 0-2 Southampton! Pellè’s scored a second, rescuing an overhit cross on the left wing, plays a one-two, receives the ball on the corner of the box and then hits a not enormously powerful, not enormously accurate shot that somehow evades Butland’s dive.
Updated
The game at Exeter has been stopped for 10 minutes and I’m still not really sure if there is a fire or not.
One of the Exeter security men says it is believed "something tripped" to set the alarm off and the cause of that is being investigated.
— Jon Colman (@joncolman) March 12, 2016
Some Championship goalflashes: Fulham took an early lead against Bristol City and remain 1-0 up, Liam Trotter has given Bolton the lead against Preston, and Bruno Ecuele Manga’s goal has put Cardiff one up against Ipswich. Finally for now, Stephen Ward’s goal has given Burnley, who are seeking a sixth win on the spin, the lead at Huddersfield.
Meanwhile, Barcelona have indeed gone two up, Munir volleying in Messi’s cross.
Updated
According to Google the route from Carlisle to Exeter is 351 miles long and should take around five and a half hours to drive.
At Exeter game, 10mins in & grandstand evacuated onto pitch. Feel for Carlisle fans if called off! pic.twitter.com/S1t7RSgkJN
— Daniel Kelly (@dankelly1987) March 12, 2016
Doesn’t look like anyone’s panicking at Exeter, but it’s certainly concerning.
Smoke is coming from the back of the Stagecoach Stand - it's been evacuated. #ECFC @ St James… https://t.co/i4C76wQlMc
— Exeter City FC (@OfficialECFC) March 12, 2016
More from Exeter. Sky are reporting smoke in the main stand.
Exeter City v Carlisle United has been called to a halt after a fire alarm went off in the main stand. pic.twitter.com/a2Z53KnmyC
— Express & Echo Sport (@ExEchoSport) March 12, 2016
Bournemouth hit the post! It’s a Surman free-kick which curled round the wall, thumped against the woodwork and bounced back out!
Updated
Charles Antaki is watching Barcelona. “An own goal, yes, but under the extra pressure of a low cross coming in from Jordi Alba, and the hole thing see up by another visionary pass from Messi,” he writes of their opener. “The laws of physics and optics would seem to prevent it, but he saw it and found the angle.”
Lionel Messi misses a penalty! I didn’t see how it was conceded, but Messi shot low to his right, the keeper went the right way and he saved it pretty easily.
Updated
Apparently there’s a fire drill at Exeter.
9: The game has been stopped - stewards are on the pitch and it looks like we're having a a fire drill!
— Exeter City FC (@OfficialECFC) March 12, 2016
GOAL! Graziano Pellè has put Southampton ahead at Stoke! It’s a corner from the left, met by Pellè at the near post and it flies – fast – right over Butland and into the net!
Updated
GOAL! Barcelona take an eighth-minute lead against Getafe, and for a change none of their front three can take the credit. That’s because it’s an own goal!
Updated
Ooof! Bournemouth’s Josh King has just shot left-footed over the bar from 10 yards, an excellent chance that really should have been taken.
Hartlepool have taken an early lead in the crunch League Two bottom-of-the-table humdinger against Dagenham & Redbridge, Billy Paynter scoring a fourth-minute penalty.
“That is big of Real to show Rafa their support,” suggests Ian Copestake. “But I am sure he does not need it quite yet as he has only just taken the Newcastle job.”
It’s 2.59pm. Football’s a-coming!
Joe Hart says he and John Ruddy “could have had the day off”, and that his side’s performance today was “not good enough”. Crumbs.
Creepy road-sign companion dept:
Full time at Carrow Road, and it’s ended Norwich 0-0 Manchester City, leaving the visitors nine points behind Leicester, with equal goal difference, and nine games to play. Is this the end of their title race*?
* Yes.
Unusual fan transport dept:
Celtic, incidentally, have beaten Partick Thistle 2-1. And Leeds have beaten Blackburn by the same score.
An unusual statement released by Real Madrid this afternoon, in response to the assertion byu the former French minister for health and sport Roselyne Bachelot that Nadal’s seven-month injury hiatus in 2012 was “probably due to a positive doping test”:
Real Madrid C.F. would like to express their full support to our honorary member, Rafa Nadal, undoubtedly one of the greatest sportsmen of all time in Spain and in the world.
Rafa Nadal represents the fundamental values of sport. His greatness and his incredible achievements have always been based upon a foundation of exemplary conduct, unwavering work ethic, talent and astonishing levels of commitment.
This being the case, our institution considers the attacks made on his person by former minister Roselyne Bachelot to be unjustifiable and unacceptable.
Real Madrid C.F. consider the close ties to an idol such as Nadal to be an honour, such is his status as a symbol sporting excellence. Nadal is admired and adored by millions of fans the world over, and today our club is standing firmly by his side.
No cold necks in the away end at Goodison Park today – they’re giving scarves away for free!
I’m not sure what this statistic is, but it’s surely a good one. Anyway, it’s Partick Thistle 1-2 Celtic:
Partick Thistle score, having been awarded their 1st penalty in 62 league games pic.twitter.com/OT4kFmyXqd
— Sky Sports Statto (@SkySportsStatto) March 12, 2016
'85 That's the first time Partick Thistle have scored from a penalty in 79 league matches! https://t.co/87bRO2VqTi
— Scottish Sun Sport (@scotsunsport) March 12, 2016
First Partick Thistle penalty in two seasons.
— Angus Gibson (@gibsona07) March 12, 2016
Partick Thistle penalty - miracle. First time in 3 years?
— Bill Lindsay (@borninrottenrow) March 12, 2016
Fun for all the family in the Bradford programme today:
Enjoying the Pre-match wordsearch from @officialbantams #bcafc pic.twitter.com/fUOzzR94zK
— Andrew Gibney (@Gibney_A) March 12, 2016
Stoke captain Ryan Shawcross is back, back, back! For the first time since 23 January, he’s in the starting XI.
Team sheets have been posted and have started fluttering onto our doormats, so here are this afternoon’s Premier League line-ups:
Bournemouth: Boruc, Smith, Francis, Cook, Daniels, Ritchie, Gosling, Surman, Gradel, King, Afobe. Subs: Elphick, Pugh, Iturbe, Federici, Distin, Grabban, O’Kane.
Swansea: Fabianski, Rangel, Williams, Fernandez, Taylor, Cork, Fer, Barrow, Sigurdsson, Routledge, Paloschi. Subs: Amat, Ki, Britton, Emnes, Nordfeldt, Gomis, Naughton.
Referee: Roger East.
Stoke: Butland, Cameron, Shawcross, Wollscheid, Pieters, Whelan, Imbula, Shaqiri, Afellay, Arnautovic, Diouf. Subs: Muniesa, Ireland, Joselu, Walters, Crouch, Krkic, Haugaard.
Southampton: Forster, Martina, van Dijk, Targett, Bertrand, Steven Davis, Clasie, Romeu, Long, Pelle, Tadic. Subs: Cedric, Yoshida, Mane, Ward-Prowse, Reed, Juanmi, Stekelenburg.
Referee: Mike Jones.
Hello world!
So let’s start with some fixtures. There are only two Premier League 3pm kick-offs, plus one top-flight match in Spain and a few in Scotland, but we can look forward to the usual manic afternoon in the lower leagues:
Premier League
Bournemouth v Swansea
Stoke v Southampton
La Liga
Barcelona v Getafe
Championship
Blackburn v Leeds
Bolton v Preston
Cardiff v Ipswich
Fulham v Bristol City
Huddersfield v Burnley
Hull v MK Dons
Nottm Forest v Sheff Wed
QPR v Brentford
Rotherham v Derby
League One
Barnsley v Southend
Blackpool v Coventry
Bradford City v Doncaster
Burton Albion v Fleetwood
Chesterfield v Walsall
Colchester v Wigan
Gillingham v Crewe
Peterborough v Port Vale
Rochdale v Bury
Sheff Utd v Oldham
Shrewsbury v Scunthorpe
Swindon v Millwall
League Two
Accrington v Plymouth
Bristol Rovers v Mansfield
Exeter v Carlisle
Hartlepool v Dag & Red
Luton v Crawley
Morecambe v Wimbledon
Northampton v Cambridge
Oxford Utd v Leyton Orient
Portsmouth v Newport
Wycombe v Stevenage
Yeovil v Notts County
York v Barnet
Scottish Premiership
Aberdeen v Kilmarnock
Dundee v Hearts
Inverness v Hamilton
A few random foreign fixtures dept
Svenska Cupen quarter-final
Haecken v Halmstads
Ligat Ha’Al
Maccabi Tel Aviv v Bnei Sakhnin
BH Telecom Premijer liga
Borac Banja Luka v Drina Zvornik*
* True fact: fully six of the 16 teams in the Bosnia & Herzegovinan top flight will get relegated at the end of this season. Both Borac and Drina are in the drop zone at present.
Nemzeti Bajnokság I
Ferencvaros v Puskas FC*
* Ferencvaros hold a 20-point lead in the Nemzeti Bajnokság I – or OTP Bank Liga, as it’s currently known – while Puskas were one point away from the bottom two this morning (second-bottom Vasas kick off their match at Paksi at 2.30pm), so could catch or overtake them today.
Simon will be here shortly. Until then, why not have a peek at the previews for today’s two 3pm kick-offs in the Premier League:
Bournemouth v Swansea
Only a few weeks ago, this match would have felt hugely important in the race for Premier League survival. It still might be but Bournemouth have taken an impressive haul of seven points from their last three matches while Swansea have won their last two. Swansea will still be without head coach Francesco Guidolin, who continues to recover from a chest infection. First-team coach Alan Curtis will again deputise in the dugout. Ben Fisher
Stoke City v Southampton
Stoke, who have taken 10 points from their past four matches and after securing an impressive 1-1 draw with Chelsea last time out, appear to be in a rich vein of form. So Mark Hughes will welcome Southampton to the Britannia as he endeavours to better last season’s record 54-point haul. Ronald Koeman can only hope his defence remains resolute and that Graziano Pellè finally finds the net once more as the Italian’s goal drought stretches back to the beginning of November. Graham Searles
Updated
