Just when you think the I'm A Celebrity fallout could be no more edifying - keep stripping, songbird! - it produces a moment of almost unbearable public poetry. It's like the Diana-Charles-Camilla story with phone voting - and today it lands its "I wish I were your Tampax" call in the form of a statement by scorned former Bannerman consort Sarah Matravers.
Speaking to Grazia magazine - though if Princess Di were still with us, you'd have to think she'd have been a Closer kinda girl - Sarah addresses the News of the World-assisted allegation that Marc was unfaithful to her with a barmaid before he went bush.
"I worry that, if everything is true, he may have had unprotected sex with other women," she worries out loud, in return for an undisclosed fee. "I'm going to have tests in case I've caught anything - for everything, including HIV. I hope they rot in hell."
Bashir suite, party of one? Your waterproof mascara is ready for you..
