David Jeffrey says the toughest week of his career proved to him that he still has the desire to battle on as Ballymena United manager.
Jeffrey has revealed that he suffered several “sleepless” nights in the wake of a painful 2-1 defeat to 10-man Carrick Rangers on October 2.
But the 59-year-old says the experience served as a reminder that he still cares enough not to walk away from the Showgrounds after five-and-a-half years at the helm.
“Last weekend, I didn’t sleep a wink,” he said. “I remember periods of that when I was Linfield manager and I used to say to myself ‘what on earth’.
“I promised myself I wouldn’t go back to that and when I came back into management with Ballymena in 2016, I told myself I would never go back to feeling that way.
“I told myself that I’d be able to compartmentalise and put all those emotions to the side, but I can’t. But the lesson I learned last week was that I still care about the job.
“It was the most horrible of weekends and it was constantly at the front of my mind, but if I didn’t feel like that, I shouldn’t be doing the job.
“There’ll always be a time when something comes to an end, but I love being at Ballymena and we are surrounded by really good people.
“This has been the hardest time of my career in football, but you either stand up and be counted or you walk away. You either battle on or you get offside.”
Jeffrey fully accepts player retention and player recruitment will continue to be a double-edged challenge for Ballymena following the advent of full-time football.
The likes of Kofi Balmer, Shay McCartan, Adam Lecky, Johnny McMurray and Albert Watson have all left to join full-time clubs since the summer of 2019.
Lecky and McMurray actually featured for Crusaders against their former club in Saturday’s 1-0 win for Stephen Baxter’s men at the Showgrounds.
The result leaves United, who lost key midfielder Josh Kelly and star summer signing David Parkhouse to recent long term injuries, with just four points from their opening seven league games.
“We have been slaughtered by injuries and the reality is also there that we are rebuilding a new team,” said Jeffrey. “That’s the way it is and we have to accept that.
“I’ve said to people that this will be tough and it may even get worse before it gets better, but I was really pleased with the attitude and application of the players on Saturday.
“I’ve told them I’ll be in front of them, beside them and behind them, but sometimes Bryan (McLaughlin) and I need encouragement and the players did that with their performance.
“The supporters were also fabulous. They were really encouraging and helpful. When you’re down, as we are at the moment, people can either put the boot in or they can help you get up.
“I certainly felt they were trying to help us get up on Saturday. The players really appreciated how they stuck with us to the very end.”
Ballymena return to action on Wednesday night with an away trip to Crusaders in the last-16 of the BetMcLean League Cup.
