What’s the name of the show? Backstrom.
What the hell is a Backstrom? It’s what Rainn Wilson does when the residual cheques from The Office aren’t enough.
When does it premiere? Thursday, 22 January, at 9pm EST on Fox.
What is this show? Backstrom (Wilson) is an overweight cop in Portland who drinks too much, smokes cigars and is mean to everyone. But he’s really good at his job, so his team of wackos is nice to him even though he’s a jerk with no friends.
So it’s like House but he solves crimes instead of curing patients? Essentially.
Or it’s like CSI except he’s an actual cop, not a scientist? That too, but there is a scientist on the team.
Or it’s like Bones but without the romance? Right again.
Or it’s like NCIS but with jokes and more rain? You’ve made your point.
What’s the show’s pedigree? Hart Hanson, who created Bones, developed the series for CBS, which explains the procedural bent. They passed on the show, probably because it was a little too hip and comical for their assembly line of crime shows, and Fox picked it up. The show is based on a series of Swedish novels.
What happens in the premiere? A year ago, Backstrom was assigned to his department’s traffic office due to poor health. But a new police chief puts him into a special unit, where he has to solve the murder of a senator’s son. He also has to pass his physical, or else he won’t be able to take his new appointment. His doctor literally prescribes that he makes a friend. Naturally, the crime is solved using teamwork and a little bit of the Backstrom magic.
Is this show any good? This is a very straightforward procedural, like Law & Order with a little bit of sass on the side. But, seriously, there is nothing that new or interesting here that hasn’t been around since Columbo. Backstrom is gruff in conventional ways, has his quirks – like living in what appears to be some sort of barge – and breaks the rules on the job so that he can get results. As the real police might say, “Nothing to see here, folks. Move along.”
The thing about Backstrom is: I don’t buy any of it. I don’t believe that because he’s 30 lb overweight and smokes, he’s really in such poor health that he’d need to be sidelined in his early forties. If the NYPD benched every cop who is a little pudgy and smokes, there would be chaos in the streets. I also don’t buy that he’s that great at his job. Most of the other leads in these antihero procedurals (think House, The Mentalist, Castle) have some sort of schtick that makes them into geniuses. Backstrom does this thing where he says, “I’m you,” and then speaks in the voice of the person he is investigating or interrogating. He doesn’t seem to have any sort of psychological insight or preternatural gift. He just has this verbal tic that’s like something a teenager would use to annoy you.
If the audience can’t believe he’s good at his job, then they can’t believe that anyone would put up with him drinking at work, showing up at noon, falsifying arrest warrants or sacrificing a case so that he can settle a personal score. If we can’t believe in Backstrom, then we can’t believe in the show. Sorry, buddy, but we hope someone sends you back to the traffic desk.
Which characters will you love? The funny thing here is that all the supporting characters are pretty interesting and entertaining. The always-charming Dennis Haysbert plays a kind detective who is as close as Backstrom gets to a friend. Niedermeyer (Kristoffer Polaha) is a dorky forensics guy who annoys everyone with his eager nerdishness. Detective Gravely (Genevieve Angelson) is the group’s high-energy and sarcastic newbie. Officer Frank (Page Kennedy) is Backstrom’s partner who has to do all the chasing and physical stuff because Backstrom is going to, like, keel over and die at any minute or something. He’s also a former MMA fighter who has been hit in the head too many times and says daffy things. Without Backstrom himself, I could fully endorse a show based entirely on this supporting cast. Instead, he’s just getting in the way of the better characters.
Which characters will you hate? Valentine (Thomas Dekker) is Backstrom’s gay goth roommate who is a fence and might also be Backstrom’s son. The problem is, everything about his character comes back to him being gay, as if that is his one defining characteristic. In the second episode, he predatorily hits on a straight guy and admits that he has herpes. So, that’s what this show thinks about gay people.
What’s the best thing about it? The dreary weather of Portland is chronicled quite well here, and the show’s dour look does work toward making the show a bit better, or at least visually interesting.
What’s the worst thing about it? Backstrom.
Should you watch this show? I was going to say, “Hey, if you like procedurals, then why not? It’s just like all the others.” Except the difference is, the others don’t have Backstrom. So just watch the others; you won’t be missing much.
