Michael Lohan as Joseph. Photograph: Gregorio Binuya/Empics Entertainment
No matter how carefully one studies this shot of Lindsay Lohan's parasitic ex-jailbird dad playing Joseph in "a Manhattan street nativity to honour firefighters who died in 9/11", its point remains obscure. Maybe it's a dare. Maybe it's some kind of neo-dadaism. Maybe it's just a subversive plot to see what level of crap you can get away with in New York if you say it's to honour firefighters who died in 9/11.
Whatever the case, Michael Lohan braved the cold on Tuesday to participate in this Times Square horror, in which he smiled beatifically down at the doll we must view as this year's Tiny Tears Messiah Most Likely To Be Taken Into Care Before Epiphany. And because the Christian story is now just another prism through which we can view the fascinating adventures of Hollywood trainwrecks, Michael was asked to compare cradling this hapless faux-Christ to cradling his famous daughter.
"I can't compare baby Jesus to baby Lindsay," was his reply, which is sad, because Christmas is a time for putting aside differences. We can surely all agree that both personages made some pretty incredible claims. Jesus: I'm the son of God. Lindsay: that was someone else's coke in the pocket of my skinny jeans.
Whatever, Lost in Showbiz is off to drink bleach eggnogs and buy dogs as impulse Christmas presents for troubled celebrities. Back on January 4.
