Close friendships are essential in all healthy romantic relationships, but it's equally important to maintain separate friendships outside of your romantic partner. In her book 'The Other Significant Others,' the author emphasizes the importance of centering your life around friendships to enhance happiness and guard against loneliness in case of a breakup.
The author highlights the risks of relying solely on a romantic partner for emotional support and companionship, as witnessed in a relative's experience of feeling isolated after successive breakups. By diversifying meaningful relationships, individuals can mitigate the impact of relationship breakdowns.
The concept of partners being best friends is a relatively recent trend, popularized in the last 50 years. Historically, people found emotional intimacy in same-sex friendships, as marriage was primarily viewed as a practical arrangement.
Research shows that investing in close relationships not only promotes longevity but also keeps long-term relationships fresh. Maintaining separate lives, including friendships, allows for new experiences and novelty outside of the romantic partnership.
Having multiple close relationships offers opportunities for growth, learning, and connection. Friends can introduce new hobbies, influence careers, provide valuable advice, and become like family.
Setting high expectations for a partner to fulfill all roles—best friend, family member, lover—can lead to conflict. Building a community of friends strengthens the bond with a partner and creates excitement in the relationship.
Ultimately, fostering diverse relationships reduces the pressure on one person to meet all needs and desires, enhancing overall relationship satisfaction.
