Who said: "I'm living this absolute dream of having become such an incredible player."?
Was it a) Rafa Nadal, b) Shane Watson, or c) Roger Federer?
No prizes, no brickbats. Roger Federer is a champion who has no problem declaring his gifts. Nor should he. His self-belief made him what he is.
Nadal, the world's No1 for the foreseeable future, is cut from different cloth. His default response to questions about the "Rafa Slam", for instance, is a sheepish acknowledgment that to own all four majors at once would be "incredible, no?"
Nor was he bothered when the double-slam winner Rod Laver questioned the legitimacy of his not sweeping the majors in a single year.
And it is hard to imagine the Spaniard railing against media perceptions of him as Federer did, ever so gently, in a revealing interview with Linda Pearce in the Melbourne Age on Monday: "... if you're world No1, everything that's good is great and everything that's not so good is OK. It never goes to really bad if you're the best. And then, if you drop to world No2, everything that was very good is only good now."
Federer says he has "no problems" with critics who are waiting to give him "the shoulder taps" about his place in the game. Really? He's as vulnerable as the rest of us, even if he has the hardened exterior of the professional athlete.
"I really feel like I'm past all of those days of trying to prove, having to show, having to beat, all those little things," he adds. "I feel liked I've achieved so much and I'd like to achieve so much more still, and I'm so eager and motivated and I'm really enjoying it."
He enjoyed his first match here a good deal more than the former junior star Lukas Lacko (who bageled a flu-riddled Nadal en route to a three-set loss in Doha a few weeks ago). Federer dropped just five games. "I thought I played great," he said. He did.
At 29, he has coped with glandular fever, the usual injuries and doubts about his future to win 16 slams, with maybe more to come. He is plainly a contented father and husband. Life could hardly be better. Some might find it irksome, but Federer has earned the right to tell the world: "I'm living this absolute dream of having become such an incredible player."
Brit no more
Oh, Maria
That the Russian, seeded 14, avoided the embarrassment of losing the tournament's opening match on Rod Laver Arena to Tamarine Tanasugarn, fairly comfortably in the end, relieved her enormously. To everyone's amazement, she went out in the first round last year and it looked briefly as if she were reliving that nightmare today. "I really didn't want that to happen again," she said later.
There were jitters from the start, as Sharapova dropped the first serve of the tournament on the main court. She then gathered her composure to take the opening set 6-1 in 25 minutes before going 3-1 behind in the second. There were nervous glances all round until Sharapova's forehand kicked in and she settled the match 6-3.
One New Zealand journalist is developing a rapport with Sharapova that seems to please him more than it does her. They'd clearly swapped words before and he felt emboldened to continue the exchange:
Q. You called me a stalker the other day.
Sharapova: Yes.
Q. Have you had a problem with a stalker before?
Sharapova: Not until you, no. I don't know why you're here today. That shouldn't have happened. You even have a sign ... Oh, goodness [laughter]. That's wrong.
Only a sadist could not feel for Tanasugarn, meanwhile, a battler reaching for an improbable upset. She had scribbled on the bandage that held her right elbow in place, "Love to Qld + Vic", representative of the compassion here among the players for the plight of the thousands of people hit by the floods of recent weeks.
The Rally for Relief on Sunday attracted many of the leading players in the sort of light-hearted circus-tennis that fans seem to love, raising $1.8m (£1.12m) for flood victims. Schmaltzy, worthy and no bad thing.
Water, water everywhere
We listen, so you don't have to
"Are you familiar with the works of Neil Diamond, the singer?" A question to "Sweet" Caroline Wozniacki. She is.
And, finally, the Fed: "I do follow cricket, yes. I did see a bit of the Ashes at the very beginning. I always like to watch cricket when I'm down here. I know it's big news, so you should be happy that you have it. It's not always going to be like that, you know. It changes." Move over Mark Nicholas.
