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The Guardian - AU
The Guardian - AU
Sport
Russell Jackson and Vithushan Ehantharajah

Australia v New Zealand: the fifth day of the second Test – as it happened

Australian cricketer Mitchell Johnson hugs his wife and daughter at stumps on day 5 of the Perth Test, his last in the baggy green.
Australian cricketer Mitchell Johnson hugs his wife and daughter at stumps on day 5 of the Perth Test, his last in the baggy green. Photograph: Dave Hunt/AAP

A draw here at Perth so we go into the third and final Test in 10-days time at Adelaide with Australia still one-nil up.

Join us then for some pink ball, day-night action.

In the meantime, satisfy yourselves with the very best of Mitchell Johnson...


Steve Smith on Johnson: “It’s sad to see him leave.”

As for Johnson’s replacement for the first ever Day-Night Test in Adelaide, Peter Siddle got a mention for being a part of the two squads this series but kept the rest of his cards close to his chest. Usman Khawaja will also need to be replaced as he is out with a hamstring injury...

Away from the farewell, Ross Taylor has been given the man of the match award for his excellent 290 in the first innings. The highest of any visiting player to Australia, by the way.

“A bit of a luck and a bit of determination,” says Taylor, modestly. “I’ve been a bit rusty and I tried to do a little bit in Brisbane but it was good to go well out here.

“The way Warner and Khawaja batted on that first day took the game away from us and we needed some fighting spirit.”

“It’d be right up there, definitely,” says Taylor, when asked if that was the innings of his life. Looked it.

And so begins the rest of his life...

“You don’t expect it when you start playing,” says Johnson, on being fourth on the leading Australian wicket-takers list.

He was emotional as he walked off and then, quick as a flash, remembered there were a few formalities to go through, such as shaking the hands of the opposition team.

He finishes with 313 Test victims – in every sense – behind Warne, McGrath and Lillee.

Updated

THERE IT IS - THE 2ND TEST HAS ENDED IN A DRAW

Anti-climatic but, with the light fading, the umpires have decided, along with the players, to call it to a close.

28th over: New Zealand 104-2 (Williamson 32, Taylor 36)

Johnson spent a bit of time off the field (not long, mind) but is back on so should be ready to bowl and take this game to its conclusion. He’s started warming up in this Marsh over. There’s two to cover and then a two to midwicket – both to Williamson.

27th over: New Zealand 100-2 (Williamson 28, Taylor 36)

Taylor uses his fast hands to smack Lyon to the square leg fence once more – four. A clip through point brings Taylor one more before Williamson takes a single into the legside.

26th over: New Zealand 94-2 (Williamson 27, Taylor 31)

Easy from Taylor, who takes the single on offer behind point. Williamson then pulls Marsh away to square leg – there’s a fielder out there – for two.

25th over: New Zealand 91-2 (Taylor 30, Williamson 25)

Turns out Lyon has just swapped ends. First ball from this one he’s carted through square leg for four by Williamson, who gets low to the ground, following the bounce and middling the ball through bat-pad. Gentle off-break is tucked into square leg for one before Taylor is subject to an LBW: he middled it.

24th over: New Zealand 85-2 (Williamson 20, Taylor 29)

Mitchell Marsh replaces Nathan Lyon. He starts full on and outside of off stump, before he drifts onto leg and Taylor works him to fine leg for two.

23rd over: New Zealand 83-2 (Williamson 20, Taylor 27)

A single to midwicket for Williamson and then Taylor flicks a full ball to midwicket for two. The strike is then returned to Williamson as Taylor finds a single at cover.

22nd over: New Zealand 79-2 (Williamson 19, Taylor 24)

Taylor gets a single to midwicket, sweeping Lyon from outside off stump to a man about three-quarters of the way back on the legside. Williamson gets another, dabbing behind square leg. Over ends with a fantastic shot from Taylor – throwing his forearms and wrists into a ball outside off stump, which races away to the cover boundary, beating the man out there, too.

21st over: New Zealand 73-2 (Williamson 18, Taylor 19)

Oooooo bit of something there – Starc bowls a length ball to Williamson which dies off a crack and passes between bat and pad, and just past off stump. Williamson duped there, having been able to trust the pitch for the first ball of this over – a similar length which he worked through midwicket for two.

20th over: New Zealand 71-2 (Williamson 16, Taylor 19)

With Johnson not bowling, all the importance and interest is seeping out of the session. Taylor plays Lyon through cover yet again, having exchanged singles with Williamson.

Updated

19th over: New Zealand 67-2 (Williamson 15, Taylor 16)

Mitchell Johnson’s out of the attack and replaced, both here and longterm, by Starc. Williamson faces the entire over and plays out the over with his textbook perfect game. Maiden.

18th over: New Zealand 67-2 (Williamson 15, Taylor 16)

Williamson takes most of the Lyon over before getting a short ball that turns into him, which he dabs behind square on the legside for one.

17th over: New Zealand 66-2 (Williamson 14, Taylor 16)

A short ball from Mitch is clattered by Taylor into bat-pad, who does well to maintain his low position and, crucially, not turn away. All Burns gets is a left hand. Johnson tests Taylor’s footwork with one outside off but the first innings double centurion is more than a match for it, larruping it through cover for four. Johnson goes straighter and just as full and Taylor responds with the same shot, settling for three this time. Kane hooks well again but Lyon is out in the deep to keep it to one.

16th over: New Zealand 54-2 (Williamson 13, Taylor 5)

Williamson punches back once more – off the back foot again, this time off Lyon, for four through cover. A single gives Taylor his fight sighting of Lyon in this innings and he’s immediately trying to flay him over midwicket (he misses completely). Lyon goes outside off, expecting Taylor to reach for it again, but he goes into the offside, through point, for the second four of the over. A quicker off-break is pushed behind point for one.

15th over: New Zealand 44-2 (Williamson 8, Taylor 0)

Williamson punches off the back foot for two. He deserved much more just for the look of the shot – a kingdom, perhaps. Gets off strike with a controlled pull around the corner. Johnson moves back to around the wicket and bowls one that gets big on Guptill, who can only divert the ball into the hands of Burns at bat-pad, who takes a smart low catch.

WICKET! Guptill c Burns b Johnson 17 (New Zealand 44-2)

Johnson, around the wicket to Guptill, gets one to angle for the ribs – Guppy fends into the hands of Joe Burns at short-leg.

Updated

14th over: New Zealand 41-1 (Guptill 17, Williamson 5)

Nathan Lyon into the attack: immediately there’s turn and little bounce, as the first ball hits the seam and has Guptill defending off his shins. The third ball goes on with the arm and Guptill gets a thick edge to third man for two more to his and New Zealand’s score.

13th over: New Zealand 39-1 (Guptill 15, Williamson 5)

Williamson interrupts the party to work Mitchell Johnson between square leg and midwicket for four. Johnson’s around the wicket to the right-handed number three, and there’s a whiff of an appeal as Johnson, from over this time, bowls a short ball that Williamson flays at down the legside.

12th over: New Zealand 35-1 (Guptill 15, Williamson 1)

Williamson gets off the mark to the fifth ball of this Hazlewood over, rocking onto the back foot and pulling to square leg, where Johnson is signing autographs. He breaks off to hurl the ball in from the rope.

11th over: New Zealand 34-1 (Guptill 15, Williamson 0)

Guptill gets a single to point and Latham hooks but can’t control it and is caught in the deep by Josh Hazlewood. The batsmen cross so Kane Williamson comes in and sits on his bat at the nonstriker’s end for the rest of the over as Guptill sees it out.

WICKET! Latham c Hazlewood b Johnson 15 (New Zealand 34-1)

Number 312 for Johnson, as Latham hooks high into the grim Perth sky and Hazlewood, running in from fine leg, takes a good catch.

10th over: New Zealand 33-0 (Latham 15, Guptill 14)

Josh Hazlewood’s got the next over and he’s getting a bit of shape into the right-hander. Guptill plays into the offside, spotting at a gap at cover to nab a single. That’s all from the over, as Latham plays a couple of shots – to backward point and mid on – for no runs.

9th over: New Zealand 32-0 (Latham 15, Guptill 13)

Johnson starts this mini-session with a bouncer that pierces the hands of Peter Nevill and runs away to the boundary for four byes. Comes around the wicket for the last couple of deliveries. Latham negotiates them well.

Play resuming at the WACA – Mitchell Johnson to finish the ninth over, which has four balls left...

I recommend watching this video from behind the couch if you’re English or South African – but especially if you’re both...

And another...

Update from the ground...

Updated

Tempted to bombard the blog with the complete Mitch Johnson modelling portfolio. Whatever your flavour, it’s really quite something.

We’re well versed on the modern story, but the beginnings were as compelling off the field as they have been on the field in recent times. Neil Harvey, who represented Australia between 1948 and 1963 thought he was endemic of the team’s malaise in 2008. The evidence? Johnson’s tongue piercing.

He had it removed (Johnson, not Harvey – that would have been assault) and the rest is history.

Evening/morning all – wherever you may be.

Vish here to take you through to close. It’s been an odd day: the scoring’s been slow and the rain has come – IN PERTH?! Isn’t that the eighth sign of the apocalypse? – just when there was a chance that New Zealand might have given us some late entertainment in pursuit of the target of 321 in the remaining 48 overs.

ICYMI Mitchell Johnson announced that he will retire at the end of this Test. His family are in town – agent and brother flew in overnight which gives an indication that it was during the match itself that Johnson decided it was the right thing to do for him. Anyway – send in your favourite Mitch Moments if you’ve got them.

From an English perspective, James Fenn from Twitter recommends this:

The covers are still on but the rain has disappeared

We’re probably not far from a re-start, actually, but until Vish takes over I’ll just hang around like that final party guest who sits on the one can for a good 45 minutes when all you want to do is go to bed.

It's raining so that's tea on day five at the Waca!

9th over: New Zealand 28-0 (Guptill 13, Latham 15)

Yep, the covers are on and the rain is falling. Nigel Llong takes the bails just a single delivery into Johnson’s over and with that, we’ll take an early tea. I’ll hang around for a bit but Vish will be popping by soon to take you through the rest of the afternoon.

8th over: New Zealand 28-0 (Guptill 13, Latham 15)

Hazlewood’s sending them down in the mid-130s at the moment and moving the ball back in off the seam into the pads of right-handed Guptill. You’ll note that some bowlers like having the ball in their hand as long as possible as they trot back to their mark but not Hazlewood; he hurls it to mid-on like it’s a rotten egg and gets a teammate to buff it up instead. No, that wasn’t a comment on the quality of the Kookaburra, but a rotten egg is probably hardier at this point. The groundsmen are now hovering at the boundary’s edge in anticipation of a storm. If that happens we’ll probably just have an early tea break.

Mitchell Johnson comes on for the first over of his last spell in Test cricket!

7th over: New Zealand 28-0 (Guptill 13, Latham 15)

Time for some Mitch! Johnson grabs the ball, gives it a vigorous shine on his trousers, bends down once to stretch and then sprints in to Latham, who is forward and defending. Johnson’s first over isn’t sent down at the searing pace we’ll all remember him for, but it’s neat, tidy and a maiden.

I’m not sure why I can’t embed her tweet, but Rachael Lonergan has just replied with a beauty after my DK Lillee pic. “Man I loved Denis Lillee. As a tiny kid I had a tortoise called Dennis Lillee and a blue tongue lizard called Lenny Pascoe.” Has anyone ever had a better pet name than that? The cricket historian David Frith had a cat named Javed. That’s not bad either. Gideon Haigh had a cat named Trumper. I’ve already told you enough about my dog...

6th over: New Zealand 28-0 (Guptill 13, Latham 15)

The temptation might be to bring Mitch Johnson on from Starc’s end but Hazlewood continues from his, jamming one into Guptill’s bread basket and drawing an appreciative “ooooowww” from the cordon. The Kiwis trail by 293 now.

New Zealand’s Tom Latham earlier in the game.
New Zealand’s Tom Latham earlier in the game. Photograph: Theron Kirkman/AP

5th over: New Zealand 27-0 (Guptill 13, Latham 14)

Tom Latham is batting superbly now, leaning into a truly gorgeous cover drive for four and then clipping three to leg off Starc, which would have been a boundary too if not for the smart work of sub-fielder Jono Wells. Kiwi commentator Ian Smith is berating the batting technique of a toddler on the Waca hill; I don’t think he’s loving Steve Smith’s work either. Guptill has a bit of a hack through gully, from which he runs four but it touched the rope either way, and then gets a streaky edge to the left of Marsh at gully to pick up four more. ‘Livin’ on the edge,’ as renowned cricket analyst Steven Tyler once said. Rain’s drawing close now, too.

4th over: New Zealand 10-0 (Guptill 3, Latham 7)

As Hazlewood continues with his stingy routine to Guptill, Ian Forth has written in and he’s not impressed with Smith’s captaincy today. “You’ve got to be prepared to lose in order to win – that’s how Australia play test cricket.” Looks like Smith didn’t get Warne’s memo.” Or Ian Chappell’s... Or Les Favell’s...

3rd over: New Zealand 10-0 (Guptill 3, Latham 7)

Starc needs a rest, let’s be honest. He strays onto Latham’s pads here and he’s clipped away through mid-wicket for a boundary late in the over before Latham strides forward with a confident and compact defensive stroke. Latham’s one of those guys who never looks like getting out...until he does. Hopefully he manages to get to 50 today after all those starts he’s had thusfar.

Yes, I’m embedding my own tweet. What of it?

2nd over: New Zealand 5-0 (Guptill 2, Latham 3)

With 45 minutes or so to negotiate before tea, you’d have to say that the appearance of Latham and Guptill at the top of the order means that New Zealand aren’t going hell for leather in pursuit of a borderline-unrealistic target. Hazlewood pairs with Starc and zeroes in on his familiar nagging length just outside the line of off stump.

1st over: New Zealand 5-0 (Guptill 2, Latham 3)

There’s a lovely moment here where Mitchell Johnson leads the Australian side out onto the ground in what’s now his final hours as a Test cricket. A little less lovely is the sight of Mitchell Starc pulling up awkwardly after the first ball of the New Zealand innings and grimacing with pain. Latham tucks him down to fine leg for two but Starc’s really not enjoying himself out there. Guptill has looked shaky in the first innings when facing Starc and departed quickly. Here he’s comfortably forward to push two through point.

Smith finally declares! 48 overs remain and the target is 321!

103rd over: Australia 381-7 (Starc 28, Hazlewood 2) - Australia leads by 316

Starc is a little luckier here when he gets a thick edge past the cordon for four more off Southee. The latter is a sneaky chance of a five-for here and wouldn’t be undeserving if he gets there. He goes perilously close to taking both Hazlewood’s outside edge and off stump in the one jagging off-cutter, but somehow it misses both.

And then...finally a declaration from Smith, who calls his men in with 48 overs remaining today. We’ll have a ten minute break and then New Zealand will have a bash. Well, maybe not a bash. McCullum’s not exactly sprinting off the ground so I doubt he’ll open. A protest against the tardiness of Smith’s call?

102nd over: Australia 374-7 (Starc 17, Hazlewood 0) - Australia leads by 309

Wallop! Now Bracewell is copping some stick from Mitchell Starc as he belts a lofted drive over cover for two and then off the final delivery a huge six over long-on. That one flew 95 metres into the seats, say Nine. Party time. The most sensible party in the world.

Shots fired...

101st over: Australia 366-7 (Starc 11, Hazlewood 0) - Australia leads by 301

Robert McLiam Wilson is getting wistful about the Waca now: “lots of porny wide shots and cutaways on the TV,” he notes. “I’m tearing up.” I have to agree. There’s something magic about the haphazard combination of architecture; a stand here, a scoreboard randomly there. It’s like they were on the gas when they planned it. Probably were, in fact. Hazlewood appears for a bat now.

WICKET! Nevill c Watling b Southee 35 (Australia 366-7)

Nevill chases another cover drive and some quick runs but feathers an edge through to Watling off Southee. The Kiwis celebrate with the enthusiasm of lawn bowlers changing ends. It’s one of those days.

Tim Southee and teammates celebrate the wicket of Peter Nevill.
Tim Southee and teammates celebrate the wicket of Peter Nevill. Photograph: Robert Cianflone/Getty Images

Updated

100th over: Australia 366-6 (Nevill 35, Starc 11) - Australia leads by 301

Dougie Bracewell is back for another bowl and Starc is looking to score at every opportunity here, lofting him for two through the vacant extra cover region and then driving hard along the ground for two more into the same area. The best is yet to come though; Starc gets a half-volley and with a perfectly erect stance and a high top arm, strokes a straight drive that would please any batsman down to the fence at long-off.

99th over: Australia 358-6 (Nevill 35, Starc 3)

Starc appears and gets off the mark with three down to third man and the news at the ground is that rain isn’t far away.

WICKET! Johnson c Watling b Southee 29 (Australia 355-6)

Garghh, Mitch departs... Johnson has a whack at it and sends an inside edge through to Watling behind the stumps. Tthe slump of his shoulders accurately reflects the emotions of the nation right now. He won’t even have a farewell fifty in the end but his batting has been a bright spot of the day. Now just for one last spell of fearsome bouncers and yorkers. Give ‘im the new ball, skipper.

Australia’s Mitchell Johnson leaves the field for the final time as a Test batsman.
Australia’s Mitchell Johnson leaves the field for the final time as a Test batsman. Photograph: Dave Hunt/AAP

Updated

98th over: Australia 350-5 (Nevill 34, Johnson 25)

If Smith’s not going to declare with a realistic amount of time left to bowl the Kiwis out, my sole interest now is another Mitchell Johnson Test century. Actually, there’s an ‘A Current Affair’ promo about a love affair gone wrong that looks pretty good too, just maybe not as saucy as a Mitch hundred.

97th over: Australia 349-5 (Nevill 33, Johnson 25)

This over from Southee is a little more fun; he’s whanging ‘em down into the cracks outside the line of off stump and the ball is doing all sorts out of the cracks, though hardly threatening a wicket. The deviations are stronger than the ones on the Kerrigan family pool table. Australia lead by 284 now and Steve Smith is wandering around with a walkie-talkie. The suspicion is he’s winding up the Nine commentary crew. Good stuff.

Australian batsman Peter Nevill is batting patiently after lunch on day five.
Australian batsman Peter Nevill is batting patiently after lunch on day five. Photograph: STR/AAP

96th over: Australia 346-5 (Nevill 30, Johnson 25)

Boult wheels away again but there’s something a little joyless about his bowling at the moment. Understandable after five days on this pitch, even if it’s breaking up a bit now.

95th over: Australia 343-5 (Nevill 28, Johnson 24)

With the hope of a result fading with each extra over Australia bat, I’m going to throw a theory out there for your consideration: at some point the jungle drums will beat and those drums will suggest that because he’s not Adam Gilchrist (who is?) or Brad Haddin (who’d want to be with the grief he was given?), Peter Nevill’s position might be pinched by a more dynamic batsman. And that will be rubbish, as he shows by cracking the first ball of this Southee over through point for a delightful boundary. He’s so neat and compact, Nevill.

94th over: Australia 336-5 (Nevill 22, Johnson 23)

Nigel Llong is now the world’s foremost expert in selecting cricket balls out of the James Bond hard case, so the issue is solved for at least the next 15 minutes as Trent Boult resumes. Australia lead by 271 now.

93rd over: Australia 334-5 (Nevill 22, Johnson 21)

Orright, we’re back and I have some very good news: I’ve located a fan. Okay, perhaps I shouldn’t have led with that but there you go. Mitch is back out in the middle for the final hit of his career and he gets moving after lunch by clipping Southee to leg. Just for something completely different, we’ve got issues with the new Kookaburra ball. Are there any left at this point?

Your emails out of the first session

“Good to see respect NZ team showed to Johnson,” says Anne Scaife. “Bit different to Australia towards Taylor.” Patrick O’Brien has a reasonable point too. “Shane Watson has only now realised that he won’t be playing with ‘Mitch’ again? Perhaps he should go to the referral for that.” For those of you who care, I’m on full Zooper Dooper alert now. It must be at least 35 degrees at OBO HQ right now.

Earlier...

Lunch on day five - Australia leads by 266 with 61 overs left

92nd over: Australia 331-5 (Nevill 22, Johnson 20) - Australia leads by 266

There’s 61 overs of scheduled play after the lunch break that will follow this Boult over and Johnson starts it by cracking four through mid wicket and then another over the bowler’s head when he just clubs a sort of lofted straight pull. The next ball is more alarming still, pitching in a crack outside the line and grubbing its way to Watling at ankle height. Two to Nevill makes it a profitable little period against the new ball for the Aussie pair after a deathly slow morning of cricket otherwise. I’ll be back to take you through the second session after a few refreshments.

New Zealand captain Brendon McCullum welcomes Australia’s Mitchell Johnson to the crease.
New Zealand captain Brendon McCullum welcomes Australia’s Mitchell Johnson to the crease. Photograph: Greg Wood/AFP/Getty Images

91st over: Australia 319-5 (Nevill 19, Johnson 12) - Australia leads by 254

Either side of the LBW shout Peter Nevill has belted a pair of very attractive cover drives to the fence off Tim Southee and that prompts McCullum to drop a man back. Maybe the Kiwi skipper had it right not changing the ball because this has been fairly insipid stuff in the final stages of the session. We’ll have one more over from Trent Boult before lunch.

Not out! Nevill survives

There was a bit of excitement for the crowd there but it was about four finger-widths (or one, if it’s one of Rod Marsh’s) high of the stumps.

Review! McCullum is unconvinced but reviews an LBW shout against Nevill

His reactions says it all. I don’t think the Australian has much to worry about here.

90th over: Australia 306-5 (Nevill 10, Johnson 8) - Australia leads by 241

Okay, Boult’s the man who gets first dibs on the brand spanker and it’s Johnson who faces what is, it has to be said, not the most inspiring over of left-arm pace until he curves an out-swinger nicely past Johnson’s thrusted blade. Too many wide ones and loopy, ineffective bouncers until then.

89th over: Australia 306-5 (Nevill 10, Johnson 8) - Australia leads by 241

Mark Craig appears with his off spin, which is another slightly puzzling gambit from McCullum as lunch approaches. He bowls an entirely pointless maiden and at the end of it, McCullum finally signals for the new Kookaburra they’ll be using for a good 4-8 overs before it needs replacement.

88th over: Australia 306-5 (Nevill 10, Johnson 8) - Australia leads by 241

Yes Mitch! Johnson stays still in the feet, winds his bat back imposingly and then crashes Southee between cover and mid-off for a blazing four as we approach the lunch break. What do you get for lunch in your last Test? An extra bit of cake? Do they even have cake in the lunch rooms now? It’s probably a kale cake I guess. Anyway, New Zealand still haven’t taken the new ball as lunch approaches. Bit odd.

87th over: Australia 302-5 (Nevill 10, Johnson 4) - Australia leads by 237

Crunch! Nevill’s showing his undisputed class here, striding forward confidently and driving Henry un the up for a boundary to deep cover. You really need to watch the replay to understand how difficult a shot like that is to play. He timed it exquisitely and it also brings up the 300 for Australia.

86th over: Australia 298-5 (Nevill 6, Johnson 4)

These aren’t exactly prime conditions for Johnson to wind back the clock and thump a few into the stands so he’s watchful to start with and Southee is swinging it away from him at a decent rate. Mitch being Mitch, he can’t help a whack at the last one, which flies away to the fence at third man off a thick outside edge.

WICKET! Voges lbw Southee 119 (Australia 294-5)

Southee returns and strikes! Oof, ball tracker shows it was only just clipping leg but the system dictates that the umpire’s call stands here, so Voges goes with a shake of the head. Southee’s reintroduction has done the trick. Doug Bracewell’s wondering which Gods he upset. Voges’ 240-ball stay is over and it was a super knock. He’s acknowledged by the local crowd but not as loudly as his teammate Mitch Johnson, who’ll have one last biff with the bat.

Australia’s Adam Voges departs to the applause of his home crowd.
Australia’s Adam Voges departs to the applause of his home crowd. Photograph: Greg Wood/AFP/Getty Images

Updated

Review! Voges has been given out LBW to Southee but refers it

And the sense is that it’s a terrible review, even if it’s slightly tactical.

85th over: Australia 294-4 (Voges 119, Nevill 6)

The boundary of the over before might have bred a little more confidence in Peter Nevill here because he cracks a crisp drive off Henry, only it’s stopped by the man at mid-off. Gargh. Henry’s next one is wild as all get-up and spears down the leg side for four byes. That was bizarre. He’s hit a perfect line and length with nearly every ball until then. He curves an absolute peach past Nevill’s outside edge to finish the over.

84th over: Australia 289-4 (Voges 118, Nevill 6)

PETER NEVILL IS ON FIRE! Sorry, he’s just clipped Doug Bracewell for a boundary through mid-wicket and it’s got me all hopped up. It’s been a fairly dour morning so far so I’ll take my entertainment where I can get it. “That’s really not much of a crowd,” says Robert Wilson, “but Booof’s remarkable Shrek impression just now has made it all worth it.

83rd over: Australia 284-4 (Voges 117, Nevill 2)

Another tidy over from Henry, who concedes only a single to Voges, whicb is dabbed through point. Australia leads by 219 now with Nevill 2 from 34 deliveries faced. The last ten overs have brought just 7 runs. I’ll go out in a limb and say I don’t think they’re going for the win.

82nd over: Australia 283-4 (Voges 116, Nevill 2)

Dougie Bracewell is still tailing them in (bit of reverse swing maybe?) towards the right-handers and pursuing those cracks outside the line of off, but Mike Hussey says it’s a mental obstacle rather than a physical one for the batsmen.

Pat Symcox update: he says “batters”. Urgh. Pass me another frozen chicken over here.

81st over: Australia 282-4 (Voges 115, Nevill 2)

Have I just been staring at the screen for too long or are Matt Henry’s trousers a little tighter than what’s strictly necessary? I think he might have stolen them off Ewan Chatfield. Anyway, I’m running out of ways to describe maidens now so the mental image of Henry’s tightly-cloaked buttocks will have to suffice.

And here’s a truly fascinating stat on Shield bowling, even if a little skewed by the fact that the Test/ODI men miss the lion’s share of domestic first-class fixtures. One note: that’s James Hopes’s age, not his wicket tally. What a warrior.

Updated

80th over: Australia 282-4 (Voges 115, Nevill 2)

I don’t think you’d call it an ordeal, but Peter Nevill is receiving a searching examination from Doug Bracewell and looks very happy to get off strike with a single down to fine leg. Meanwhile, at the MCG...

79th over: Australia 281-4 (Voges 115, Nevill 1)

It’s an avalanche of runs from Matt Henry’s next over – a whole two of them – as Voges tucks a few behind square. The 140-character Don, meanwhile, is none too pleased with the local broadcaster.

78th over: Australia 279-4 (Voges 113, Nevill 1)

Reader Joel Smith is an optimist, which I like. “Surely I’m not the only one hoping for a vintage Johnson performance today - an audacious & brutal cameo with the bat, followed by a series of terrifying spells with the ball, Test match victory wrapped up against the dying Perth light?” Not much to ask, really.

Anyway, Doug Bracewell’s not exactly peak Mitch but he’s got Nevill and Voges in all sorts with his craft seamers. Voges finally nudges a single to leg from the final delivery and keeps the strike.

New Zealand’s Doug Bracewell has Australia’s batsmen in trouble before lunch on day five.
New Zealand’s Doug Bracewell has Australia’s batsmen in trouble before lunch on day five. Photograph: David Gray/Reuters

77th over: Australia 278-4 (Voges 112, Nevill 1)

Another maiden for Matt Henry, who’s suddenly bowling with the metronomy of peak Glenn McGrath after looking decidedly Mick Lewis on the first few days. The 140-character Don is as wary of these cracks as Peter Nevill is.

Updated

76th over: Australia 278-4 (Voges 112, Nevill 1)

Bracewell is jagging it in at alarming angles to Nevill on account of these cracks in the surface. The keeper does eventually get off the mark but he also nearly lost his off stump to a ball that pitched a good two feet outside the line. It’s only 130kmph from the Kiwi but he could wreak havoc in the next hour before lunch.

75th over: Australia 277-4 (Voges 112, Nevill 0)

Voges is hardly in a position to go the tonk with wickets falling around him but the scoring is non-existent at the moment as he and Nevill consolidate. Mitch Johnson is sitting in the sheds chomping at the bit. He’s got a bat in his hands, pads on his legs and some headphones bringing him the Channel Nine coverage. Surely he’s suffered enough in this Test?

Adam Voges and all the adoring fans.
Adam Voges and all the adoring fans. Photograph: Robert Cianflone/Getty Images

74th over: Australia 277-4 (Voges 112, Nevill 0)

Phwoar, Dougie Bracewell is giving Peter Nevill all sorts of bother in the early stages of his innings here, moving the ball in off the long, gaping crack a few feet outside off stump and also hooping it away at a brisk pace. A bit of this sort of stuff would have been nice on the first few days of this Test, I reckon.

73rd over: Australia 277-4 (Voges 112, Nevill 0)

The Mitch tributes are starting to flow now as Matt Henry appears with a maiden in his first over. Former Waca media staffer Alex Paull has a brilliant one about meeting Mitch in an airport when he was injured back in 2011-12 and how much admiration he has for the comeback that followed. The highlight of Alex’s email was this exchange: “I handed him a Cricket Australia shirt to wear, which he politely declined – “Can’t stand the sports bra look,” Johnson said.” Great stuff Alex. Why do I find that so easy to conjure up in my imagination?

WICKET! Marsh lbw Bracewell 1 (Australia 277-4) - Australia leads by 212 runs

Marsh departs! Oh dear, Doug Bracewell comes on to replace Southee and gets an immediate breakthrough when he tails on in to Marsh and the batsman is a mess of knees, pads and bat as he lurches forward. Missing it with the willow he’s pinned in front and partner Adam Voges is so sure of the umpire’s decision he tells his teammate not to review it. This is getting really interesting now.

Updated

71st over: Australia 277-3 (Voges 112, Marsh 1)

Marsh gets off the mark by pulling Boult out into the deep for a single and though the stands are a little threadbare there’s a hearty round of applause for the local lad. Voges then neatly glances one down to the fine leg boundary to pick up four.

Hugs for Mitchell Johnson on day five at Perth.
Hugs for Mitchell Johnson on day five at Perth. Photograph: Dave Hunt/AAP

70th over: Australia 271-3 (Voges 107, Marsh 0)

You know what I reckon? Australia would be safe if they declared at lunch with a lead of 270. This New Zealand side is many things, but I don’t think it’s one could chase down a score like that unless they send McCullum and Taylor out to open, and that would be a signal of minor chaos anyway. Could be wrong.

The 140-character Don is happy.

69th over: Australia 270-3 (Voges 106, Marsh 0)

Boult’s over is a very successful one and ends up a wicket maiden as Marsh gets his eye in. Oh, there might also be a shower or two later in the afternoon. Brilliant. By the way, I have crafted my own little tribute to Mitchell Johnson in the hour before I jumped on here. You can check it out right here if you like. Or not, I won’t get offended. Australia now lead by 205, by the way.

WICKET! Smith c Watling b Boult 138 (Australia 270-2)

Smith departs! And it’s a smart diving catch by BJ Watling moving to his right. Boult came around and angled it in to Smith, but gave him enough width that a full-blooded drive seemed appealing, but all he does is slice a thick edge through to the keeper. Time for some Mitch Marsh! Or a collapse. Who even knows?

68th over: Australia 270-2 (Smith 138, Voges 106)

One other nice sight this morning is that of Usman Khawaja slowly jogging around the boundary edge at the ground. Surely if his hamstring injury was a doozy they wouldn’t be letting him do that.

Robert McLiam Wilson has arrived with a tribute to Mitch. “Having invited some MiJo nosalgia, you’ll soon be drowning in paeans to his havoc-wreaking spells and occasional buccaneering with bat,” says Bob. “So, I thought I’d get in early and offer up some praise for his remarkable physical appearance and manner. Say what you like about Test cricket, but there’s something uniquely agreeable about watching a top-flight international athlete who still always managed to look like he was a couple of beers away from tying a scarf round his head, grabbing a rubber sabre and taking up the role of The Swarthy Pirate in an inpromptu musical comedy. You don’t get that in football.”

You really don’t. I hope he pursues his other natural calling; Cross-Fit. Or Tough Mudder? I’ll just pretend I know the difference, shall I?

67th over: Australia 269-2 (Smith 137, Voges 106)

“Perth will soon be home to Titanic - The Exhibition,” says Michael Slater, detailing what Western Australians are now getting for entertainment in place of their Test match. For now they get to revel in the sight of a local boy made good as centurion Adam Voges pushes Boult for two more through square leg. These early overs suggest that the Australian pair are in no great hurry to pile on quick runs.

66th over: Australia 267-2 (Smith 137, Voges 104)

Steve Smith looks like he’s bobbing for apples as Boult approaches the bowling crease here, ducking up and down on the spot as he waits for the Kiwi to release the ball. He doesn’t get any fresh produce but a single is forthcoming, then Voges retains the strike with one of his own.

65th over: Australia 264-2 (Smith 136, Voges 102)

As Tim Southee starts his first spell, Scott Lowe arrives with our first email of the day. “Re Smith’s comments on declaration. He seems to be still figuring this captaincy thing out. The first innings was Clarke-esque - start smashing the ball around once you have 500 or so and declare in the second session. Now he wants to bat them out of the match. If he was emulating Border, he would have batted until day three.” I grant you the latter point, Scott. AB would still be batting now, in fact.

Smith gets a short one from Southee and the width enables him to step back and across, flashing a cut shot to the fence between point and cover. That’s the only major happening of the over.

64th over: Australia 260-2 (Smith 132, Voges 102)

Aaand we’re away on day five with left-armer Trent Boult angling it in towards the pads of Voges. The latter gets off the mark by bunting a single to leg and the declaration speculation is already coming thick and fast on the telly. Oh joy. There is a nice little curio from Michael Slater though; Johnson’s retirement signals the end of Australian players with cap numbers in the 300s. All these millennials now, innit?

Not a great sign for those hoping for a result - Captain Grumpy is at it again

This is quite interesting if Steve Smith’s not just foxing. Pure Allan Border. Maybe he and Voges will just bat all morning and beyond lunch. “It’s an exciting day today,” said Brendon McCullum earlier this morning on Channel Nine. Might have to revise that one a little, B-Mac. “We always like to chase wins, that’s what Test cricket is all about,” was McCullum’s other money quote. Maybe he’s just trying to make Smith look like a big wuss.

Updated

Nothing ceremonial for Mitch. Yet.

Mind you, what would an emotional warm-up look like exactly?

Preamble

Hello OBOers and welcome for what shapes as a fascinating day in Perth, where Steve Smith might make a real game of this on the final day of the Test, and where Mitchell Johnson has just announced that international batsmen will face his wrath no more. More on that shortly.

Firstly to business. You can get me on russell.jackson@theguardian.com or via Twitter (@rustyjacko) throughout the day and please do, especially with your memories of Mitch.

The Waca pitch does now sport the odd crack, but I have my doubts that it’s going to do anything untoward, so as Smith and Voges resume their centuries this morning, the question will be how many runs Smith thinks puts Australia into a safe position and how quickly he thinks his pacemen could cause a late-day collapse. I’m tipping a draw but will be thrilled to be proven wrong.

Updated

Russell will be here shortly to take you through all the day’s proceedings as Steve Smith and Adam Voges press on beyond their centuries but check out the match report from day four in the meantime.

Updated

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