Final thoughts
Australia were favourites heading into this game but I don’t think, given the Kiwis’ line-up, anyone expected what ended up a thrashing —made to look closer by a few Kiwi tries after the Aussies had clocked off.
While New Zealand lacked penetration and anything resembling a controlling kicking game, the Aussies were ruthless in the first half. They made the most of their chances and kept New Zealand under constant pressure. Smith, Cronk and Thurston were the steady hands and heads, while Gillett was both an attacking threat and a defensive bulwark. His efforts earned him the man of the match award.
Mal Meninga vowed to bring passion back into the Aussie team (if, that is, it ever went walkabout), and they’ve certainly looked a switched-on unit since he took over. New Zealand’s David Kidwell, on the other hand, has much work to do. Before tonight’s game there were a few suggestions that this was, on paper, the best Kiwi league side of all time. No-one will be thinking that right now.
Fans of international league should get out and catch the weekend’s remaining internationals: England v Samoa, Fiji v Cook Islands, Papua New Guinea v Tonga, and Malta v Lebanon. A small taster of what is to come during the end of year World Cup.
That’s all from me tonight. Thank you for your patronage. ’Night.
Oh, yes. I’ll leave you with tonight’s match report:
Updated
Full-time: Australia 30-12 New Zealand
And it’s all over. Australia did the damage in the first half and then, seemingly, put the cue in the rack. They get the points, if there were any to get, and the Kiwis get the meat tray for winning the second half. We’ve just been told that the Kiwis have now lost 17 of their past 18 mid-season Tests.
80 min: Australia almost score after the hooter, playing hot-potato football that ends with Boyd dinking a kick for his winger Holmes. The ball refuses to sit up, however, and Holmes, in trying to pull it in, knocks it on with the line wide open.
79 min: The Aussies pressure the Kiwi line, and Trbojevic marches ever closer with Kiwis hanging off him like possums. But he can’t quite make it and danger is averted.
77 min: Fifita comes close to scoring after chasing through a Thurston grubber. He dives on the ball and gets up wagging his finger in a celebratory fashion. Replays show, however, that he never quite had a hold of it.
76 min: Whare hits Frizzell with a bell-ringer, but the Dragon gets up smiling.
74 min: Foran injects himself into the backline and looks threatening for a moment. After being tackled he soon finds the ball in his hands again but his cross-field kick is easily claimed by Chambers in his own in-goal.
“New Zealand have won the second half if they ring the bell now,” says Ray Warren on Nine. What do you get for winning the second half of a Test, I wonder. Surely at least a good-sized meat tray.
73 min: Cronk comes off for a breather. He’s done well; his kicking game, along with Thurston’s, has been miles ahead of New Zealand’s.
70 min: 18,535 have turned up tonight in Canberra and it looks like most will go home happy.
68 min: Thurston chases his own kick and comes within a whisker of wrapping up Tuivasa-Sheck in his own in-goal.
Conversion! Australia 30-12 New Zealand (Kahu 66m)
A nice conversion from the close to the right sideline gets NZ within three converted tries. They couldn’t, could they? Nah.
Try! Australia 30-10 New Zealand (Tuivasa-Sheck 64m)
From a midfield scrum under the posts the Kiwis go right. Johnson skips across field, ignores two inside runners, and gives it to Tuivasa-Sheck. He slides between Thurston and Gillett to dive over. That was too easy. Have the Aussies switched off?
60 min: Rapane makes the highlight reel. Fielding a bomb near his line he knocks on and the ball bounces towards the sideline. He dives over the side-line and, while in the air, bats the ball back into the field of play. But there’s no-one there and the Aussies are bearing down on it. Rapana recovers just in time to dive on it. A comedy skit of a play that nearly had a killer punchline.
59 min: Bad news for Dragons fans (worse news for Dugan), and confirmation that Packer does have a head you could use to re-stump a house. Early reports are that Dugan has fractured a cheek bone.
Conversion! Australia 30-6 New Zealand (Kahu 57m)
From 10m out to the left Kahu has no trouble.
Try! Australia 30-4 New Zealand (Mannering 56 min)
There’s no clear evidence to overturn the call so that’s a try to New Zealand. Too little, too late, but better than a doughnut.
Is this the Kiwis' opening try?
Mannering is tackled inside the field of play and hits the deck just short. But he has momentum and bounces over the try-line. He’s on his back, however, and after turning to ground the ball it’s possible the cover defence got under the ball in time. That said, the on-field call is ‘Try’ so it will have to be conclusive to take it away from NZ.
53 min: Finally, something from NZ! Tuivasa-Sheck, in space, banks right, then left, then finds Johnson backing up. He’s half into space (or into half a space) and near the Aussie 20m when Thurston brings him down. But he’s not held and Johnson lobs the ball backwards, only for Thurston to get a hand on it. Frizzell can’t help but pick it up but he’s in an off-side position. Penalty NZ. Should they take the two?
52 min: Frizzell hits the line at pace just inside his own half. Cronk then roosts the ball giving Tuivasa-Sheck something to think about, other than the opening stanza of a motivational poem he decided to write during Kidwell’s halftime talk.
50 min: Cordner, knowing that the score gives him luxuries he wouldn’t normally enjoy, attempts a kick on the last from 10m out near the left touch-line but it fairly races over the dead-ball line.
48 min: Dugan is down for his customary injury. Often one wonders how hurt he is, Dugan, because in every game he plays he picks up a knock at some point and appears to be on the verge of pushing up daisies. But on this occasion he appeared to clash heads with his Dragons teammate Russell Packer. Looking at Packer’s head you’d rather head-butt a concrete breeze block.
Conversion! Australia 30-0 New Zealand (Thurston 45 min)
This is getting ugly for New Zealand. Coach David Kidwell might be nervously tugging at his collar.
Try! Australia 28-0 New Zealand (Trbojevic 44 min)
Cronk finds Boyd outside him on the Kiwi 20m and the Broncos’ fullback skips inside two defenders, fends off a third, before finding Cronk back on his inside. Cronk is literally collared but he tosses the ball over his left shoulder to Jake Trbojevic who takes a hit but rolls over the line to score! Brilliant.
43 min: Chambers taking a hit-up inside his own 20m runs into a brick wall, which then collapses on him. But he holds onto the ball and from the next tackle Australia win a penalty that will see them work their way effortlessly to the half.
Peeep!
41 min: Here we go, Australia restart the game with New Zealand surely facing an impossible task. Can’t see them winning, but we’ll find out something about their fortitude over the next 40 minutes.
Did no-one in the NZ camp write a poem before this one? Talk about an oversight.
While I go up into the back paddock for a wander, why not spend halftime enjoying something from a man who did more than most to bring Australia and New Zealand together. No, not Rusty Crowe. The late, great John Clarke:
Half-time: Australia 24-0 New Zealand
Well, I wasn’t expecting that. That was clinical by Australia. New Zealand don’t seem to have done a lot wrong but every mistake they have made has been punished, and despite having good field position on a number of occasions, they haven’t been able to breach the switched-on Australian defence. If this continues Sam Thaiday will have to pen a poem before every Test.
40 min: Johnson is pinged for a forward pass just over the halfway line. And that will just about see us out.
39 min: Can NZ get on the board before half-time? Not looking likely.
Conversion! Australia 24-0 New Zealand (Thurston 36 min)
As easy as it comes.
Try! Australia 22-0 New Zealand (Frizzell 35 min)
After a couple of nothing sets from each team Australia put this game to bed, surely. Another kick in behind from Thurston. This one hits the padding on the right upright and thus rebounds back towards the attacking side. Frizzell, a helluva promising player, pounces on it to score under the posts.
No try!
Ferguson’s stumble saw him hit the deck early and his arm carrying the ball just touched the sideline before his momentum carried him over.
New Zealand’s ball. They’re still in this. Just.
Possible try to Australia!
A bust from Australia just inside their own half. Gillett it is, through a hole, he runs 20m, draws the fullback and sends Ferguson away. But Ferguson staggers close to the line and may have gone into touch before scoring just inside the right corner post.
Conversion! Australia 18-0 New Zealand (Thurston 30 min)
From 10m left of the posts Thurston steers it over. Australia will take some catching from here.
Try! Australia 16-0 New Zealand (Chambers 29 min)
... Chambers picks up from dummy half and scoots five metres to force himself between a couple of tired defenders to score.
29 min: Yowzer! The poet Thaiday pushes off Proctor and slides past Johnson and he sets off upfield like a runaway truck heading over an embankment and into a gorge. He’s pulled down short but from the play the ball...
Updated
28 min: For those who missed it, those first two Aussie tries were scored by a couple who have had unhappier times (not that they looked that unhappy):
2013: Bacardi Breezers on the roof.
— Triple M NRL (@TripleM_NRL) May 5, 2017
2017: Opening two tries in #RoosKiwis pic.twitter.com/R5KlaZOmUz
26 min: What a tackle by Dugan and Gillett! Tuivasa-Sheck was put into space by Johnson and he was all set to score when Dugan and Gillett got underneath him and turned him on his back.
Moments later NZ spread it right. Johnson performs an audacious, no-look bat-on pass that finds Kahu who races away to score! Oh, no he doesn’t. Johnson’s ‘pass’ was deemed forward. Not much in it.
24 min: They don’t get one, but they do force yet another drop-out, Johnson’s kick in behind for Proctor cleaned up by Chambers. Some excellent defence by Australia at the moment.
22 min: NZ, suddenly looking up against it, forced another drop out from Australia. They need a try to settle here...
19 min: That try in more detail... New Zealand were attacking the Australia line, shifting the ball left. Johnson was attempting to slip it to his winger for a saloon passage to the line when Ferguson took a gamble. Then took the catch. He then outpaced the cover of Tuivasa-Sheck to score. Had Ferguson missed that, the Kiwis were in.
Conversion! Australia 12-0 New Zealand (Thurston 18m)
Thurston kicks it from the right touchline!
Try! Australia 10-0 New Zealand (Ferguson 17m)
Ferguson scores a 95m intercept try!
14 min: Taking the hit-up from the kick-off Fifita* drops it cold with no-one near him. A great opportunity for NZ to hit straight back.
A huge tackle by Gillett keeps Foran out just when it looked like he was about to slip through. That said, NZ earn a repeat set a moment later.
Conversion! Australia 6-0 New Zealand (Thurston)
An easy one for Thurston, who hasn’t played for three weeks but hasn’t shown a speck of rust.
Try! Australia 4-0 New Zealand (Dugan 12 min)
And the Aussies open their account! On the last Thurston chips across field from one side of the posts to the other. Dugan, with momentum, leaps above Fusitu’a to take the catch, then maintains control as he falls to earth. Nice bit of work.
Updated
10 min: Swarming defence keeps Australia at bay but out of the left Boyd squeezes a ball out to Holmes. It’s on the deck but he toes ahead into the in-goal but NZ recover to force it. Another drop out.
8 min: Trent Merrin, lucky to be playing such is his club form, takes it forward on the third. Two plays later Cronk chips it behind the line. Foran cleans up in the in-goal but he can’t get back into the field of play due to his suddenly wearing Cronk like a cape. Drop out.
7 min: A big, body-slapping collision between Gillett and Packer, the kind that makes you glad you’re sitting in front of a keyboard.
Great to see the Australian RL jumper free from sponsors. #RoosKiwis #NRL
— Michael (@MichaelMwhitton) May 5, 2017
I do love a sponsor-free jersey. I’m not sure why the Aussies have no sponsor, however. Not good enough to attract one? Can’t be that.
5 min: Cronk finds touch a few metres out from the Kiwi line. Proctor takes the ball forward on the first before Johnson pokes his nose through the Aussie line before he’s locked up. Danger averted.
4 min: On the last, Tuivasa-Sheck grubbers for his outside men but it’s got more bounce than a dodgy cheque and the Aussies shepherd it over the dead-ball line.
2 min: After a strong carry Valentine Holmes loses the ball in the wrestle and New Zealand will start a set just inside Australia’s half.
Peeeeep!
1 min: New Zealand kick off, Cronk catches and sends Klemmer on a bumpem-dodgem first hit-up that requires a number of black jerseys to stop.
It’s national anthem time... be upstanding, as some say, instead of the much simpler ‘please stand’.
Kick-off is nigh, and a nice moment when Cameron Smith is met in the centre of the pitch by his son, Jasper, who’s wearing a replica No.9 Kangaroos jersey with his dad’s name on it. A kiss, for Jasper, from Smith, and we’re all set but for the Haka, led by Issac Luke.
The teams are out on the pitch, the Aussies led out by Cameron Smith who is playing his 50th Test tonight, no mean feat for someone who, as is often said, has the build of an accountant. But here’s the thing: he has the mind of an accountant, too. A good one. One that does the books for a multinational company that never ends up paying a cent in corporate tax.
What does 50 Test do to a person? It ages you:
From Junior Kangaroos to captain of the @Kangaroos.
— NRL (@NRL) May 4, 2017
Congratulations on 50 Test matches @camsmith9!#NRLThenAndNow pic.twitter.com/lk5R40XdYf
Do want the latest odds on tonight’s match? Not on my watch. What I will give you is a poem from rugby league’s poet laureate... Sam Thaiday.
The Ode...
— Australian Kangaroos (@Kangaroos) May 5, 2017
Tonight, we will RISE!#GoTheRoos pic.twitter.com/mFxnKaf3Qq
There were some interesting —and rather pointed— comments from Mal Meninga in the lead up to tonight’s game. He accused the Kiwis of doing little to promote the match. Here’s what he wrote in the Courier-Mail:
PART of my charter in taking on my role with the Kangaroos was to re-establish the green and gold jersey as the pinnacle for players in our game.
The other part was to help develop and grow international rugby league. I just did not expect this to be a job that the Kangaroos would be expected to do on their own.
Every day this week the Australian players have been out doing their bit to promote the game and international footy.
The New Zealand players have been nowhere to be seen.
While we are promoting the code in Canberra, a city that last week hosted an AFL match and is home to rugby union’s Brumbies, the Kiwis have been in Sydney — under instruction from the New Zealand Rugby League — bunkering down and expecting us to do the work for the good of the game.
The NZRL should remember they have a responsibility to the growth of the game, not just their own priorities.
There is an onus on both teams to promote the match and the code, and to help re-energise the international game — especially in a World Cup year.
We are doing our bit. So where are the Kiwis?
Let’s hope the New Zealanders show up tonight, otherwise we’re here for nothing.
Fifita’s selection is an interesting one. He wasn’t initially chosen for the Kangaroos (see the “No Dickheads” rule) and was then selected for Tonga (who play Fiji tomorrow). But following the withdrawal of Aaron Woods, Shannon Boyd (injury) and Josh Papalii (suspension), Meninga was able to call on him, which seems like a very raw deal for Tonga.
The Kiwis have four changes to the side that started the Four Nations final, with Roger Tuivasa-Sheck, Dean Whare, Kieran Foran and Simon Mannering in for Solomone Kata, Shaun Kenny-Dowell, Tohu Harris and Manu Ma’u. Some pretty handy ‘ins’, those.
Indeed that Kiwi side looks dangerous. Packer is in great form with the Dragons, Foran has lifted the Warriors, and he and Johnson have enjoyed a great success rate when paired for New Zealand, with 9 wins from 11 when starting together.
Tonight’s teams
Australia: Darius Boyd, Blake Ferguson, Josh Dugan, Will Chambers, Valentine Homes, Johnathan Thurston, Cooper Cronk, Andrew Fifita, Cameron Smith, David Klemmer, Boyd Cordner, Matt Gillett, Trent Merrin. Bench: Michael Morgan, Jake Trbojevic, Tyson Frizzell, Sam Thaiday.
New Zealand: Roger Tuivasa-Sheck, Jordan Rapana, David Fusitu’a, Dean Whare, Jordan Kahu, Kieran Foran, Shaun Johnson, Jesse Bromwich, Issac Luke, Adam Blair, Simon Mannering, Kevin Proctor, Jason Taumalolo. Bench: Kodi Nikorima, Martin Taupau, Russell Packer, Kenny Bromwich.
Before I get to the team news, an update from the women’s Test match played earlier between Australia’s Jillaroos and New Zealand’s Kiwi Ferns. (A Jillaroo, if you don’t know, is a young female worker on a cattle station. A fern is, well, a fern. Fernius plantius, to use the latin. How do they apply to rugby league? Answers on the back of an envelope, etc. Where was I…)
Supreme defensive performance gives @AusJillaroos victory over @NZRL_Kiwis Ferns!#RoosFerns#NRL pic.twitter.com/iADHibtTga
— NRL (@NRL) May 5, 2017
There also a curtain-raiser to the curtain-raiser between the next generation of internationals:
It was a dominant display from the Junior @Kangaroos against the Junior @NZRL_Kiwis. #RoosKiwis#NRL pic.twitter.com/I2h0D972lO
— NRL (@NRL) May 5, 2017
Preamble
Good evening, folks, and welcome to this live blog of tonight’s Anzac Test from GIO Stadium in Canberra where the “No Dickheads”* Kangaroos are warm favourites to beat New Zealand. After enduring a trio of losses to New Zealand between October 2015-May 2015 Mal Meninga’s men have reasserted their dominance by winning their past four matches between the teams. That includes the 34-8 hiding they handed out in last November’s Four Nations final.
New Zealand were awful in the Four Nations, draw-with-Scotland awful (though they did beat England), and they’ll be looking to make amends tonight with a much stronger team than they were able to field in their last start. Australia’s squad, by contrast, is largely the same one that rolled through the Four Nations like a column of tanks through city made of papier-mâché. Only Will Chambers and Andrew Fifita were not part of the victorious squad. So while the Roos (like the Kiwis) have had only had a few training sessions together before tonight’s match they should have some helpful muscle memory.
Got something on your chest? (Other than phlegm?) Drop me a line why don’t you. I’ll be here all night: paul.connolly@theguardian.com.
Kick-off: 8pm
* May still be dickheads
Paul will be here shortly. In the meantime, here’s some exciting news about a potential Great British touring side in 2019:
