Luxury hotels! Is there anything more sublime and wasteful to spend money on? After the money’s spent, all that remains of the experience is pilfered stationery and the scent of Jo Malone bubblebath.
But then the best hotel rooms are so good you don’t want to leave, instead staying forever, ordering in room service and lolling about in sheets with a thread count that matches the rack rate and bathrobes as fluffy as roof insulation.
Even the most basic hotel rooms have their pleasures, though – watching TV in a bed that someone else has made, unwrapping little soaps (although once I unwrapped and ate a soap I found on my pillow, thinking it was a chocolate), finding the kettle to make a cup of tea after a long journey.
If I won the lottery I wouldn’t buy a mansion. Instead I’d just spend the rest of my life checking in and out of expensive hotels.
It’s a habit our former prime ministers have pursued: Bob Hawke lived for a time in the Ritz-Carlton in Double Bay, Sydney, while Ben Chifley enjoyed the more modest pleasures of Canberra’s Hotel Kurrajong.
Oscar Wilde spent his last days at Hotel d’Alsace in Paris and moaned at the end: “I am dying beyond my means.” Coco Chanel was a long-term resident of the Ritz in Paris. In 1937 Vogue wrote: “Just the basics are enough, when tasteful, to make even the most banal room personal. Mademoiselle Chanel, who has been staying at the Ritz for several months, is at home with a folding screen and a few flowers.”
So say your ship comes in, where are the best places to stay in Australia?
On Tuesday night Gourmet Traveller, after sending teams of reviewers across Australia, reviewed and listed what it now deems to be our best hotels.
The Langham Sydney was the big winner, with three awards for New Hotel of the Year, Best Club Sandwich and Hotel of the Year. Prices start from around $315 a night.
Australia’s leading lodges and resorts
In New South Wales: Emirates One&Only Wolgan Valley Resort & Spa, Pretty Beach House
In Queensland: One&Only Hayman Island, Lizard Island, Qualia
In South Australia: Southern Ocean Lodge
In the Northern Territory: Cicada Lodge
Best long-stay lodgings
In New South Wales: Fraser Suites
In Victoria: Olsen, Blackman, Sebel Melbourne Docklands
In Queensland: Meriton, Herschel St, Peppers Broadbeach
In South Australia: Watson
In Western Australia: Smiths Beach Resort
In Tasmania: Saffire Freycinet
Best budget hotels
In New South Wales: Central Station Hotel, Atura Albury
In Victoria: Larwill Studio
In Tasmania: Fountainside Hotel
In Queensland: Tryp Fortitude Valley Hotel
In South Australia: Ibis
In Western Australia: Sullivans Hotel
Most luxurious spas
In New South Wales: Langham, Park Hyatt, QT Sydney and Byron at Byron Resort & Spa
In Victoria: Crown Towers and Isika Spa at Crown Metropol
In Queensland: Qualia, Gwinganna and One&Only Hayman Island
Best unique properties
In New South Wales: Paperbark Camp
In Tasmania: Omnipod
In South Australia: Ikara Safari Camp, Kangaluna Camp, Kingsford Homestead
In Western Australia: Sal Sali
In the Northern Territory: Bamurru Plains and Wildman Wilderness Lodge
