TRACK OF THE WEEK
Aurora
I Went Too Far
For Scandi singer Aurora, everything leads back to her voice. Her set of pipes get four glaciers out of five, giving soaring gravitas to a dollop of fairly agreeable synthpop that could otherwise easily be overlooked, while her Norwegian lilt lends the song a quite lovely, otherworldly quality. I Went Too Far’s only downside is that I haven’t felt anything in six years, so I can’t truly relate to something with this level of earnest emotion, let alone the kind that reduces someone to sadface acting to camera in a music video. It’s still the best thing out this week by far, though.
Years & Years
Worship
Bieber-lite vocals. Piano house-lite synths. Fingerclick-lite rhythms. And Years & Years managed to achieve this frictionless sales-pitch of a sound even without 12 co-writers squidged into a studio with them. So they can have a shiny gold star for that. Worship’s not bad. No. It’s just not… anything, let alone memorable in the great 2016 canon of cookie cutter synthy pop-house. Retaining it is like groping mist.
Axwell & Ingrosso
Thinking About You
Admit it. You saw the song title and thought, “I bet this is some vacuous neon piano-dance tripe.” And you’d be right, to a frankly unlikely degree. Though in troubled times such as these, don’t you just want a cheesy dance-pop clanger with Streets-y rapping and a gun-fingered chorus in it? No? You’d rather have financial security, social justice and a second referendum? Oh, suit yourself, dullard.
Martin Solveig ft Tkay Maidza
Do It Right
Another miserable day, another EDM banger. All Martin’s done here is magpied his favourite bits from his Now That’s What I Call 90s Dance tape, smooshed them together in Logic Pro X, given the whole thing a squirt of Febreze, and asked for you money. Do It Right is basically a Peter Kay standup set that elicits delight in others by reminding them of things they already know: “Remember Mr Vain, eh?” “Remember Sash? What were all tharrabout?!” Applause.
The Beach
Geronimo
Memorably, Mrs Merton once asked Debbie McGee, “So, what first attracted you to millionaire Paul Daniels?” Similar questions could be asked of every sensitive posh little lad with a guitar who writes acoustic ballads with epic choruses: “What first made you want to make the sort of music that sells?” And if the Beach says anything other than “Because I want a holiday and to pay off my mum’s mortgage” his pants will burst into flames. Bland, weaponised. He probably is dead nice to his mum, though.
