Full-time: Atletico 2-3 Barcelona (2-4)
All the goals were scored in an exhilarating first-half but the match petered out after Gabi managed to get himself sent off for a dust-up in the tunnel during the break. The second-half was a Barça training session punctuated by mad intrusions by Atletico, including Turan throwing his boot toward the linesman.
90 min: Two minutes added time, apparently. Come on Atletico, how many more players can you get booked in that time? “So basically fight fans everywhere anxiously await the Atletico-Chelsea rematch in the Champtions League quarters or semis?” squawks Gene Salorio.
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89 min: Iniesta has a pop from 22 yards. Keeper saves easily. I’ve yet to see the sign of the amount of stoppage time: should be about 23 minutes but wouldn’t be surprised if the ref just wrapped things up straight away.
86 min: Cani ingratiates himself with his team-mates by joining them in the book for tripping Messi.
85 min: Messi curls the freekick over the wall but it’s easily saved by Oblak.
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84 min: RED CARD! Garcia earns a second yellow for raking his studs down the back of Messi’s leg. He should have been sent off long ago but finally he’s got what he deserved.
83 min: R Jimenez becomes the sixth Atletico player into the book , this time for protesting at the award of a throw-in to Barcelona.
81 min: A sumptuous pass from Messi finds Iniesta, who is tugged back by Miranda but still manages to poke the ball at goal. Fine save by the keeper, who repeats the feat on the rebound.
79 min: Two weak shots in the Atletico box are easily cleared. Barça don’t seem especially bothered, they’re happy to just keep knocking the ball around.
76 min: Fight, fight, fight! Nah, not really, just lots of jostling and finger-waving. And on that note, Luis Enrique takes the aforementioned commentator’s advice and hauls off Neymar, replacing him with Pedro.
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75 min: Siqueira becomes the latest entry into the ref’s book for shunting Alves in the back.
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73 min: Danis Alves booked for tripping Cani.
72 min: Rafinha’s first contribution is to tee up Messi for a near-certain goal ... but Messi has been watching highlights of Torres’s Chelsea carer and sends a feeble shot straight at the keeper.
71 min: Excellent shot from Cani, who chested the ball up for himself and then walloped a half-volley at goal from 16 yards. Ter Stegen excels to sweep it away with one hand. Pique then nods the rebound over the bar.
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70 min: Barcelona change: Rakitic off, Rafinha on.
68 min: M Suarez cops a fully deserved yellow card for clattering into Busquets. “The local commentators are recommending taking Neymar off before the whacking gets too dangerous,” discloses Charles Antaki. “He’s just been tumbled by a sly Raúl García trip and by now even his bruises must have bruises.”
64 min: As if this game was not bonkers enough, there are claims on assorted social media pipes that one an Atletico squad member was arrested before the match for catching a policeman’s hand in a door. That could be total codswallop but the fact that such stories are going around tells you the sort of atmosphere in which this match is being played.
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62 min: Barcelona change: Mascherano off, Mathieu on. Then Simeone makes another change, giving a debut to Cani and taking off Turan. That’s the equivalent of throwing in the towel, which was one of the few things not to have been already thrown in this game.
60 min: Barça are playing keep-ball. What was a gloriously frenetic contest is becoming quite boring. “Barça are not wearing lime, they are wearing chartreuse, or rather aureolin yellow,” quibbles Val.
58 min: Simeone replaces Juanfran with R Jimenez.
57 min: Suarez sends an audacious overhead kick over the bar.
55 min: Barça are edging into cruise control now. Atletico can’t get near enough even to foul them.
51 min: Barcelona are dominating possession now. It doesn’t look good for Atletico’s prospects of mounting the three-goal comeback they require. Nor for finishing with 10 men. In fact, it might be worth checking the odds for this match being abandoned due to excessive red cards.
48 min: Ha, it’s getting absurd now. Turan is booked for hurling his boot towards the linesman! It came off in tackle and he was so irate at not being given a foul that he flung it in the direction of the nearest official! At this point we can only lament the fact that Diego Costa is no longer at Atletico. What larks there would be!
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47 min: Ah. It has become clear why Atletico made the change: they only have 10 men on the pitch. Apparently Gabi was sent off during the half-time break! Have no idea what for but would not be surprised to hear the was a karate kick or suplex slam involved.
46 min: Atletico get the second have going and it’ll be interesting to see what they’re approach is because they’ve made a surprising change: Diego Simeone has taken off Greizmann, who is normally so integral to what they do, and replaced him with Saul.
Half-time: Atletico 2-3 Barcelona (agg: 2-4)
Naturally the players jostle, shove and yap at each other as they make their way off the pitch, Torres and Neymar in the thick of it.
45 min: Neymar overhits an attempted pass to Messi, who would otherwise have had an inviting chance to hit a fourth for Barcelona.
43 min: Messi booked for an uncharacteristically petulant foul.
GOAL! Atletico 2-3 Barcelona (Neymar 41) (agg: 2-4)
A devastating counter-attack from Barcelona moments after Greizmann had a shot blocked at the other end by Alba’s arm. Messi scurried forward 60 yards and passed to Alba, who had sprinted all the way down to the other end and cut the ball back to Neymar for a simple finish.
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39 min: That last equaliser by Barcelona means, by the way, that Atletico now have to score at least twice more because of the away goal rule. “For Cameron Climie’s information [see 31 mins],” begins Steve Roee. “At Juventus they pump the crowd noise through the PA system.”
GOAL! Atletico 2-2 Barcelona (Miranda og 37) (2-3)
Busquets flicked on a corner and Miranda goofs spectacularly, shanking it into his own net from five yards.
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37 min: The Barça menace if growing. After a some dinky passing they worked the ball to Rakitic in the Atletico box. He swivelled quickly and unleashed a shot that Jimenez deflected over for a corner.
35 min: An angry exchange of views in the box between several players and the referee after L Suarez goes down in the box. I don’t think he actually appealed for a penalty but the Atletico players seem to want him booked for diving. The ref shoos them all away and orders them to get on with the game. They’ll be back.
33 min: Suarez tries to wriggle his way down the right but is denied by his namesake.
31 min: Fine tackle by Jimenez on Rakitic as the Croatian tried to dart into the box. “Aside from maybe Dortmund, I’m struggling to think of the ground of a top club that produces a greater cauldron of noise and intensity than the Vicente Calderon,” roars Caremon Climie. “Juventus Stadium can be unbelievably loud but they don’t quite have the on-pitch intensity to match, while the atmosphere at the Bernabeu and Camp Nou can be downright flat for anything that isn’t a Clasico or Champions League knockout round. The Calderon is unbelievable to hear - even on the patchy stream that I’m currently forced to watch this game on.” It’s certainly enhancing the enjoyment tonight. Marseille’s Vélodrome used to be pretty special too.
GOAL! Atletico 2-1 Barcelona (Garcia 29) (agg: 2-2)
An impeccable spotkick beyond the keeper, who dived the right way.
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28 min: PENALTY! And it’s an appalling decision. I don’t think it was a foul by Mascherano on Juanfran and it wasn’t in the box!
28 min: A Chelsea flashback for Torres, as he dabs a shot straight at the keeper from 10 yard after excellent work down the left by Greizmann.
27 min: Atletico are attacking with thrilling abandon but leaving themselves vulnerable to counter-attacks as Barça leave their three stars up front most of the time.
24 min: This game is being played at an exhilarating pace (when it is being played, as opposed to the bits where players are rolling around) and rarefied technique. Except just now, when Turan found the sidenetting from a corner.
21 min: Sorry, I can’t suppress my laughter on this one: Alba chased the ball out of play and then turned around the run back into his position and was then hit on the back of the head by the flag of the linesman, who was flagging for a throw-in. The defender collapses to the ground as if smote by Excalibur, then realises it wasn’t an opponent who did him harm so he won’t be getting a freekick. Up he gets.
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19 min: Searching low pass from deep by Messi, but the keeper hurtles off his line to nab it before Rakitic.
17 min: Torres gets his nut to a Turan corner but can’t direct it on target.
16 min: Pardon me as I clamber aboard my tactics truck for a moment: Atletico appear to have decided that Barcelona are soft in the centre so they are concentrating most of their attacks there as if playing in some sort of spear formation. The flanks are frequently empty as Atletico attack.
14 min: A booking! The ref didn’t forget his cards after all - Garcia sees yellow for a ludicrous flying lunge on Alba as Barcelona tried to launch a counter-attack.
13 min: Messi booted up in the air again by Suarez, who should be collecting his second yellow card about now but, mysteriously, hasn’t been given any.
11 min: Messi clobbered by M Suarez. Barcelona take the freekick quickly and resume circulating the ball amid intense boos from the home crowd.
GOAL! Atletico 1-1 Barcelona (Neymar 9)
There’s the holy trinity in action right there: Messi to Suarez, who dissects the home defence and sends Neymar racing through to finish neatly from 15 yards.
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7 min: Say, just who is this Fernando Torres? Whoever he is, he’s just tormented Barça again, romping down the left wing, losing possession and then winning it back with a brilliant tackle on Pique followed by an impish backheeled offload to his team-mate. Truly he has found some sort of elixir at Atletico.
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6 min: A Barcelona corner comes to nought.
5 min: As you might expect, the game is already stupidly scrappy, with every niggling foul being a prelude to bouts of pushing, bickering and rolling. Dignity, lads, dignity.
3 min: A replay of the goal confirms that Barcelona’s defending was slack - bit of a mystery how they’d gone four games without conceding prior to that - and Mascherano was guilty of giving the ball away with a lame pass.
GOAL! Atletico 1-0 Barcelona (Torres, 40 secs)
That’s what you call a perfect start! Torres, he of the years of agonising woe at Chelsea, has opened the scoring with a sublime goal! He collected a sharp pass from deep, took two swift touches and swept a lovely low shot in off the post from 20 yards! The Calderon sure sounds like home sweet home for the striker now.
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1 min: After a short delay because, it seems, the ref’s whistle wasn’t working properly, Barça kick off amid a mighty cacophony of boos and whistles.
The teams enter the arena. Barcelona are clad in a luminous lime - sorry, a rogue ‘a’ there may have given the impression that Leo Messi & Co have come disguised as a bright inflatable fruit. Atletico, the pride of Azerbaijan, are wearing their familiar red and white stripes and blue cacks.
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“Dirty cheap shot directed at my beloved Villa there,” parps Joseph Melin with all the energy a Villa fan can muster these days. “It’s more like four years of relentless drizzle, rather than just the two. Or 27 years if you’re a miserable git like me. Even Carson Yeung’s Birmingham have more to sing about these days. This whole sacking the manager caper might not be such a bad idea after all.”
“I know it’s nothing to do with this game, but the Abu Dhabi Bernabeu?” titters Simon McMahon. “Hahahahahahahahahahha. Or maybe just LOLZ.” Or maybe just a sad face.
Preamble:
Fact you? Don’t mind if I do. Barcelona take a 1-0 lead into this second leg thanks to Lionel Messi’s late winner at the Nou Camp. That victory was one of the six that Barcelona have enjoyed in their last six outings. Barça’s 3-1 league victory over Atletico was another. So you could say the Catalans are on a roll, and the cloud hanging over manager Luis Enrique seems to have moved on. In fact, look, there it is over Villa Park! Oh no sorry, that’s the same one that’s been lingering over there for the last two years or so.
Anyway, Barcelona haven’t even conceded a goal in the last four matches and that’s something that Atletico are obviously going to have to change if they’re to progress. So they’ll be going out all guns blazing and Barça have announced that they intend attacking too because just trying to hang on to their first-leg lead is no way to play football, at least not when it’s going out LIVE on this here mbm. What we’re saying, readers, is that you’ll regret not following this. To whet your appetite further, we’ll even give you the line-ups once they’ve been revealed, when questions such as the following may be answered: will Luis Suarez start after being dropped last weekend? Have Jeremy Mathieu and Koke regained full fitness? Who will replace the suspended Diego Godin in the heart of Atletico’s defence? Where’s the streetwise Hercules to fight the rising odds?
Teams to follow ...
Atletico: Oblak; Gimenez, Miranda, Siqeira, Junafran; Gabi, Garcia, Suarez, Turan; Greizmann, Torres
Subs: Moya, Mandzukic, Jimenez, Niguez, Gamez, Cani, Hernandez
Barcelona: Ter Stegen; Alves, Pique, Mascherano, Alba; Iniesta, Busquets, Rakitic; Neymar, Suarez, Messi
Subs: Masip, Xavi, Pedro, Rafinha, Bartra, Adriano, Mathieu
Ref: JG Manzano
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