Dear Mr. Dad: My 13-year-old son is, to put it nicely, a disorganized pack rat and his room looks like a cyclone went through it. But that's not what worries me. The bigger problem is that he doesn't keep track of his school assignments and due dates. Consequently, he either waits 'til the last second to get things done, turns them in late, or doesn't do them at all. He's a smart kid, and despite all of this, he manages to get pretty good grades. But he's starting high school next year and I don't think there's any way he'll be able to maintain this level of chaos in his life and still do well enough to get into a good college. How can I get him more organized?
A: I'm dealing with this exact situation in my own home, so I feel your pain _ and frustration. Some children come into the world with remarkable organization skills. From the time my oldest daughter was able to dress herself, she laid out the next day's clothes the night before. And throughout school, she voluntarily got a calendar and was always on top of her homework and projects. Most kids, however (including your son, my youngest, and millions of others), aren't like that.
The good news is that organization can be learned. The slightly less good news is that you're going to have to help, which means investing time, effort, and possibly some money. But the following strategies will get you and your son pointed in the right direction.
Get him tested. You want to rule out any underlying medical conditions that might be contributing to the problem, such as ADHD, a learning disability, vision problems, or something else.
Get connected. Ask your son's teachers to keep you up to date on his assignments and grades (my daughter's adviser sends us a report every week). If the school uses an online system (such as Schoology), insist that your son give you his login info and check the system every day. This will help you keep track of what's due, when it's due, and when each assignment has been completed.
Organize. Keep assignments on a shareable calendar app and help your son organize his binders so that completed assignments are always in the same place. And make sure pencils, erasers, printer paper, flash drives, and anything else your son needs to do his work are readily available.
Think small. Help him break large projects into smaller, easier-to-manage chunks.
Encourage breaks. If your son finishes one of those chunks or stays focused for 15 or 20 minutes, have him take a 5-minute break to text, check email, listen to some music, or whatever.
Think backwards. Starting with the due date, how long will it take to research and complete each step? Then set a completion date target for each one.
Prioritize. Encourage your son to complete the most difficult or time-consuming assignments first.
Remind. If you're like me, you want your child to do all of this on his own. Eventually he will, but for now, he needs your help. Since you know what's due and when, check on his progress and remind him as necessary.
Establish routines. If possible, homework should be done at the same time and in the same place.
Be there. Have your son sit next to you while he does his homework. Knowing that you're going to be looking at his screen may keep him from getting so distracted.
