Dear Mr. Dad: Like many parents, I've struggled with how to talk to my 7- and 9-year old about the results of the presidential election. My husband and I voted for Trump, as did our kids in their school's mock election. Both have been physically and verbally bullied by their classmates, and several teachers have made fun of them. They've also seen TV coverage of the anti-Trump demonstrations and are afraid to go to school. I'm furious and frightened. What can I do?
A: Start by speaking with the school principal. The First Amendment protects our right to peacefully express opinions, and the behavior you're describing is completely unacceptable. Unfortunately, your school administrators and the parents of the bullies who are attacking your children aren't alone in feeling that not only are they "right," but also that they're entitled to shut down all opposing views.
Just as unfortunately, given that the election was so contentious and that both candidates received more than 60 million votes, this type of obnoxious behavior is hardly one-sided: just as many Hillary supporters feel angry and afraid.
Next, have some long discussion with the kids, reminding them of your family's values, which hopefully include treating everyone kindly and respecting others' views even when you don't agree with them.
Beyond that, here are a few more discussion topics:
You never know ... Even many Trump supporters agree that he's said some unfortunate, troubling, false, and offensive things. But politicians make attention-getting comments and promises they know they can't keep all the time. Trump's don't necessarily predict what he'll actually do in office.
A vote for Trump might not have been a vote for Trump. Independents accounted for a third of all voters and they decided the election. According to the Brookings Institution, a majority of Independents saw Clinton as more qualified and temperamentally better suited to be president. But, ultimately, qualifications and temperament weren't enough. What they really wanted was someone to shake things up. "(T)hey believe that the economy is rotten and the country is going in the wrong direction," and they decided that four or eight more years of Obama _ which is essentially what Hillary was promising _ wouldn't fix either problem. The same attitude got many Bernie Sanders supporters to vote for Trump. Ironically, just eight years ago, Obama himself was the candidate promising change.
Intolerance and bigotry are two-way streets. ISIS has bragged about disguising terrorists as refugees to get them into western countries. And some immigrants are criminals. But clearly, not all Muslims are terrorists and not all immigrants are rapists and murderers. By the same token, it's racist and sexist to assume that everyone with a particular skin color or set of genitals will vote the same way. And it's offensive to label everyone you don't agree with as "deplorable" (as Hillary did) or as America-hating, flag-burning morons (as many conservative commentators have done).
There is never an excuse for violence. Being unhappy with an election doesn't justify the type of violence, looting, and property destruction that we're seeing in Oakland, California (where I live) and other cities.
Appreciate our freedoms. While the current anti-Trump demonstrations, violence, threats, and intimidation are scary, they're also a wonderful sign. We live in a country where people can still criticize a president or president-elect without being jailed, tortured, killed, or all three. If we lose that, we're through as a country.
Be part of the solution. In a very classy YouTube video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8ceJNLbk6s) or (http://bit.ly/2f15ciK), Obama makes a wonderful point that everyone needs to hear: Whether you like Trump or despise him, it's in our best interests to do everything we can to ensure that he becomes a fantastic president. As Obama said, we're not Democrats first or Republicans first. We're Americans first.
