My boss is great at the nitty-gritty elements of his job, but an abysmal manager of people. He’s locked away in his office, and the only contact I have with him is when I’ve done something wrong. I hardly feel like I can ask him to be more forthcoming with praise, but I’m losing confidence in my own ability. What can I do? Should I just quit, and hope my next boss is more approachable?
According to an informal polling of my friends in the workforce, you are not alone in your frustration with your boss. But before you quit and gamble on the next, why not first look at some things you can do to improve your interaction with this one.
You write “I hardly feel like I can ask him to be more forthcoming with praise”, but to me this sounds like an irrational fear. I don’t underestimate fear: it’s a powerful force that drives many of us away from trying things that could improve our lives. A good tip to combat irrational fear is to break it down and look at the worst possible scenarios. First step: humanise your boss, to take him out of that scary authority-figure box you’ve put him in. Consider that everyone has a boss, your boss has a boss, and the more responsibility someone has at work for the success or failure of their division, the more stressed and overwhelmed they are. Your boss might be in over his head with his duties, and he has no reason to suspect there is a problem with his managerial style if no one lets him know.
Since most jobs have annual reviews that give bosses and workers the opportunity to talk through mutual expectations, why not look at this as the perfect opportunity to speak up. If your company doesn’t have reviews, suggest one, outlining your reasons: you would like to improve, make sure that he is satisfied with your performance, synchronise your goals. Instead of coming at him in a critical way, keep the focus on what you need from him to do the best job you can do.
Any decent boss would welcome the extra effort from an employee. The worst he could say is no, which, if you think about it, is not really something that deserves your fear, right? And a yes should improve your work conditions. Either one will give you the clarity you need to know what your next step should be.
• Send your dilemmas about love, family or life in general to askmolly@theguardian.com
