I am 25 and have been with my boyfriend since I was 19. We are both fairly lazy, but I’m starting to worry that my own laziness is ruining my relationship. My boyfriend does all the cooking, and I am supposed to do the dishes. But we both work long hours, and I’m often exhausted when I get home. I barely have the energy to eat dinner before crawling into bed. Weekends are wasted away lazing around in bed and watching TV. I have always been a lazy person, and if I can put something off until later, I will. How can I motivate myself?
Stop defining yourself as a “lazy person”. Concentrate on methods to get yourself out of this rut without the name-calling. Words matter. When I want to praise my kids, I constantly remind myself to refrain from saying “good boy/girl”. This kind of language implies that they’re only good when they are doing the thing I like, so I try to impress upon their little five-year-old brains that they are good all of the time – it’s just their choices that get them into trouble. At 25, you’re old enough to know how detrimental it is continually to define yourself in derogatory terms.
Organisation has never been my strong suit. Piles of laundry beckon me as I write this, and my overnight bag from the weekend sits on the side table jeering at me. Somehow my husband managed to unpack his before he left for work in the morning, but the closest I’ve got is writing about it. I know I’ll get to it sometime before the end of the day, because our living spaces are reflections of who we are. When mine’s a mess, I don’t like the way it affects my mind.
What about setting a schedule for yourself? First thing to plan is some form of exercise – before or after work. At first it can seem like torture, but if you keep it up, not only will your body transform but, more importantly, your mind will, too. Your brain desperately needs the hormones that fire during exercise, which in turn helps give you the motivation to tackle the other stuff in life. Put the TV on vacation, or at least limit the time you spend watching it. Maybe move it into another room, away from the bed – which should only be used for two activities anyway, and TV-watching isn’t one of them.
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