Dear Anna,
Why aren’t there more straight-ish men who are open to homo encounters? I’m a hetero-flexible female, FWIW, and I love to smooch on ladies and I’d love my guy to be open to some homolicious action, too. But each time I try to get a dude into a little dick, he freaks out. — Begging Info
Dear BI,
According to the latest Gallup Poll, more Americans are identifying as LGBTQ+ than ever before, and the majority of LGBT adults (54.6%) identify as bisexual. Among millennials and Gen Z people, the numbers are even higher, with 72% identifying as bisexual. While it’s great that there are more people checking that bisexual box, we’re also the most closeted group in the queer alphabet, thanks to stigma, shame and general exhaustion from arguing about Harry Styles and finger guns. So that makes it harder to suss bisexuals out of our hidey holes.
This isn’t to say there aren’t straight-ish men engaging in “homolicious” (nice word) behaviors both openly and on the down-low. There are! They’re just not, like, completing a lot of surveys about it. So don’t give up hope, is what I’m saying.
Granted, women are more likely to identify as bi than men, partially because there’s slightly more cultural acceptance around bi ladies and because a lot of people incorrectly assume that bi men are closeted gay men. The fear and stereotypes make it less likely for bi guys to fly their Pride flags, which is crappy all around. Visibility is important for countering such falsities and stereotypes. But it’s hard to be out when people are constantly questioning your identity and giving you shit for it or worse. It’s a switch-22.
Instead of springing dick on straight guys, however, which I’d wager has a pretty low success rate, I’d suggest you start looking for bi guys proactively. Let them know you’re looking for them specifically on your dating profile of choice or wherever you feel comfortable. You can even filter by sexual orientation in some apps or websites, to find the kind of people you’re interested in vibing with. More good news for you, BI: A 2017 Stanford study showed that 88% of bisexual people are in relationships with a partner of a different gender.
That said, instead of narrowing your search to this one (admittedly hot but not super common) trait, it would also behoove you to, you know, date guys you’re attracted to and interested in, regardless of whether they have a sextracurricular interest in dudes. With trust and intimacy and honesty, you just might find an open-minded, straight-identifying guy who could be interested in exploring that side of himself for the first time with you. And if not, well, you can always indulge your fantasy in porn.
Good luck!
