Dear Anna,
I'm wanting to know if my lady neighbor is just not into me? She is very talkative in person. But never texts back. I said "hi" the other day. Then today I asked how she is doing. She said she has mental problems. — Neighbor News
Dear NN,
That’s a pretty significant final sentence to tack on there. Did you inquire further about the nature and degree of her mental health issues? Was that what she texted you back when you asked how she was doing? If so, I would get a much broader and clearer picture of her situation before asking her out for a frose slushie.
Secondly, have you considered asking her if she’s into you? I realize it’s far more human to endlessly wonder and speculate and analyze behavior and calculate how many times she blinks in a minute and ask friends and acquaintances and advice columnists to solve the riddle for you. But the sure-firest way to know if someone likes you is to cut to the chase and ask them ourselves. (No judgment! I’ve been in your shoes approximately 800,000 times. Many of us have.) Don’t text her. Ask her when you’re chatting in person, as this is the more reliable communication. And see what she says.
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Dear Anna,
Here’s the situation. Annah broke up with Mark, and three months later went on a date with Adam. While at the restaurant, Annah accidentally called Adam by Mark's name? — What Now
Dear WN,
People slip up. Move on. Hope she doesn’t make the same mistake in the bedroom.
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Dear Anna,
I have a crush on my colleague, but it turns out he has a girlfriend. What should I do? We have been talking a lot, and I really like him. I’m 19 and have never been in a relationship. I wanted him to be my first boyfriend. It’s really sad for me. — Please Help
Dear PH,
Oh, kitten. It’s always sad when you want to date someone and they don’t want to date you, no matter if you’re 19 or 99. So feel all of that sadness. Let it wash over you. Cry or scream or run as fast as you can until you’re out of breath. Pop every bubble in the bubble wrap mailer. Dance to the fastest and most furious song you can find. Then, once you’ve felt every bit of that disappointment and frustration, I want you to take a hot shower or bath, eat your favorite food, take a deep breath, and let the sad feelings go. Don’t worry about if they’ll come back — they will. It’s what feelings do. And when it does, let it wash over you again, same as the last time. You’ll find someone else to be your boyfriend, and then you’ll find another and another and another. There will be so many boyfriends in your life. But in the meantime, find out what’s true and good and beautiful in your life right this second, exactly as it is now. Make a list, look at it every day, add to it. Notice every gift you have. Every unencumbered breath. Every chance you have to change tomorrow. Choose to look out into the distance and see your life for what it is and not what it is not.
Or, hey, they could always break up.
