Dear Anna,
I just started dating a man. We’ve had a few Zoom dates and one in-person date. Now New Year’s Eve is coming and I’d like to spend it with him, but is it too soon? — Dating Dilemma
Dear DD,
New Year’s Eve dates do tend to be a little more loaded than your run of the mill Saturday nights, especially if there are parties or gatherings involved with friends, coworkers and/or relatives. I’m not sure why we place such pressure on ourselves to make this one night spectacular. It’s just a night!
I’m assuming he didn’t already mention attending a NYE gathering? If he did but didn’t invite you, then take that as a no.
If no plans have been communicated between either of you, however, then by all means ask him to spend NYE with you! You can be casual about it, a la: “Hey, what are you up to on NYE?” Even better if you have a date idea planned yourself. This doesn’t have to be anything extravagant. It can be a Safeway cheesecake and "Waiting to Exhale."
If he says no, then that’s a bummer. But if you don’t ask at all, then you definitely won’t get what you want. So take a chance. On romance. And ’90s rom-coms.
Dear Anna,
I’ll keep this short and sweet. I want to help my girlfriend have bigger, better orgasms. As of now, she tends to come quite easily and her orgasms are “wimpy” (her words!), more like small tremors or waves. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that!) What can I do to better rock her world? — O My
Dear OM,
Edge her.
Edging means: Take your time bringing your lady to the brink of climax — doing whatever she enjoys — until she’s just about to go over “the edge,” and then back off for a bit. Then start the process over again, getting her hot and heavy, but not letting her come. (You will likely need her participation here, as it’s difficult for an outsider to tell when someone’s about to come. So she will need to tell you when to stop.) Do this until she’s writhing and squirming and her body becomes a giant nerve ending of pleasure and pulsation and she can no longer stand it. Then let her come.
Edging is also called “peaking,” “surfing,” “orgasm denial” and the “stop and start method.” It can also be a tenet of tantric sex.
How long should you edge someone for? It’s up to you and your time constraints and whether or not you’re Sting. But if you only have an hour or so, I’d try edging her two or three times and seeing if that ups the intensity factor.
Generally speaking, the longer the buildup, the better the payoff.
