Dear Anna,
I am a straight man attracted sexually to straight, gay and bisexual women. Is it OK to approach any or all of these types of women for more-than-platonic relationships? I would love to be with one to two straight women, one to two bisexual women or one to two lesbians. It’s all very exciting to me. Is it OK to pursue those? — Searching for Every Exact Knowledge
Dear SEEK,
I don’t know what’s funnier to me, that you want to amass a Kinsey scale harem of women or that you want my permission to do so. As a sitcom dad might say, “It’s a free country, pal!” You are welcome to pursue relationships with any consenting adult you want to. This doesn’t mean you’ll succeed, but you can try — at your own risk of rejection and/or humiliation.
That said, as a general rule of thumb, you’ll have more success if your sexual orientation aligns with those you’re hitting on. That’s just math. Logic.
The most beautiful, charismatic straight woman on earth is still going to have a hell of a time convincing a gay man to frolic in her lady garden. So it will go with you (a straight man) and one to two lesbians (not-straight). This isn’t to say it never ever happens, but it is to say that you should frolic in the gardens where you are wanted, SEEK.
Also, you definitely need to work on your delivery. Women aren’t iPhone cases: You can’t just add six of your choosing to a cart and take them home with you.
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Dear Anna,
My boyfriend and I have recently become sexually active. He doesn't like condoms, and I don't like what the pill does to my mood or body. What do we do? — Curious
Dear Curious,
Assuming you’re trying to not get pregnant? So many things! Hand sex (fingering, clit play, vibrators, hand jobs), mutual masturbation, oral sex, anal sex, pegging, outercourse such as dry-humping, rubbin’ on each other and thigh sex (also called intercrural or femoral sex, a nonpenetrative form of sex in which a partner’s penis is placed between the other partner’s closed thighs and thrusts to create friction), sex that involves toys that can be inserted into or placed over one’s genitals, cybersex, phone sex, text sex, Zoom sex. And so on.
The sky’s the limit, Curious. Penis-in-vagina sex is far from the only game in town, and it’s rarely ever the act that consistently (if ever) gets women off. Being sexually active involves so much more than intercourse — despite how much it gets talked about. Don’t let anyone convince you that other kinds of sex are less than.
PS: You could also look into getting an IUD. Copper IUDs are nonhormonal forms of birth control, unlike the pill, which can impact your mood, body and so on. However! Condoms are a much cheaper and much less invasive way to prevent pregnancy, as far as these things go. Your boyfriend would be wise to, as they say, suck it up.
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Dear Anna,
I've been with this guy going on four years now, been married to him for almost one year, and we have a 6 month old. While trying to get the deed done quickly — our little one seems to always be able to sense when those kinds of things are about to go down and wants to make sure he has his momma all to himself —anyway, we were doing the deed, about to finish, and I farted. And the sad thing is I was head down and butt up at the time, which made things a lot worse. He didn’t say anything to me, but now I am so embarrassed I don't know what to do and kinda don't wanna even talk about it or face him at the moment. — Any Advice?
Dear AA,
I stand by my prior advice on farting during sex: either laugh at it or ignore it. Your husband chose the former. Now you should do the same. Let it pass … like gas from your — sorry.
Really though, you have a baby! Babies spew all kinds of disgusting things from their bodies DIRECTLY ONTO YOU. A little wind is nothing in comparison. Even during sex. It’s okay. Let yourself be embarrassed for a tiny bit, then move on. Bodies are cruel miracles. Let them be the beautiful, imperfect vessels that they are.
