That’s it for today’s entertainment. We’ll have Ali Martin’s match report shortly, and then Tim and Tanya will be here for day four. Thanks for your company and emails - bye!
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The thoughts of Dawid Malan
“We got ourselves into a half-decent position, but once again as soon as the Aussies opened the door they jumped straight through it. It’s disappointing and frustrating that we lost too many wickets in clusters.
“The pitch was quite slow. The feedback that myself and Rooty gave was that one end did a little bit, but we felt that if we defended late and left well we could get a score. It [collapsing] is a little bit of a trend – it’s something that happened on the last tour as well. We can go from 150 for two or three to 180 for five or six. We need to make sure that, when we lose a wicket, we get another partnership going as soon as possible.
“If we’re honest I didn’t play a great shot. When you get to 80 you want to make it count, especially out here. Maybe a couple of us played shots we’ll look back on and wish we didn’t. You’ve got to give credit where it’s due, though, and once the Aussies opened the door they made sure it stayed open.
“The odd ball turned but I felt it was more bounce. It was hard to drive Nathan, who got a few to kick. Traditionally it does turn here as the game goes on, so being 300 behind is probably not ideal! We’ll find a way. We have to find a way.”
Stumps: Australia lead by 282 runs
That’s the end of another dominant day for Australia. England started well, with Dawid Malan and Joe Root batting through the first session, but then it all went well south Australia. The Aussie bowlers suffocated England, just as they had on that famous day in 2006, and forced a collapse of eight for 86 in 38.4 overs. The key period came just after dinner, when England wheezed from 150 for two to 169 for six. The rest of the innings was just detail.
Australia decided not to enforce the follow on, and extended their lead in a relatively serent mini-session under lights. The only wicket to fall, that of David Warner, came from a run-out rather than a talking pink ball.
There’s a mixed weather forecast tomorrow, but it won’t affect the result - for the seventh time in the last nine home Ashes series, Australia are 2-0 up after two Tests.
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17th over: Australia 45-1 (Harris 21, Neser 2) With the left-handed Harris on strike, Root changes ends to bowl the final over. The ball is doing all sorts, even for an occasional spinner like Root, but Harris survives the over and will be back in the morning.
16th over: Australia 45-1 (Harris 21, Neser 2) With a right-handed nightwatchman at the crease, Robinson replaces Root. His second ball kicks off the pitch to hit Neser on the elbow, a painful blow that Neser accepts without complaint. He skims the next ball for a couple to get off the mark. One more over to go before the close.
15th over: Australia 41-1 (Harris 21, Neser 0) Shane Warne is already talking about Michael Neser getting a hundred on debut and being dropped, which is simultaneously one of the most absurd things I’ve heard and a profound insight into the mentality of a champion.
Woakes bowls his second consecutive maiden to Harris. The pressure’s buildi- oh I can’t be bothered.
14th over: Australia 41-1 (Harris 21, Neser 0) Michael Neser comes in as nightwatchman.
WICKET! Australia 41-1 (Warner run out 13)
Joe Root brings himself onto bowl. His second ball turns and bounces absurdly to hit Warner on the arm, prompting Nathan Lyon’s self-esteem to literally explode through the roof of the Australian dressing-room. He is going to have all sorts of fun in the fourth innings.
For now, the only people having a laugh are the England fielders. Harris turned Broad to backward square leg and set off. Warner started, stopped, started again and then realised he’d been sold down the river. He wasn’t in the frame when Buttler collected Broad’s throw and broke the stumps.
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13th over: Australia 40-0 (Warner 12, Harris 21) Make it stop.
12th over: Australia 40-0 (Warner 12, Harris 21) A maiden from Robinson, who has been the best of the England bowlers this evening. Nothing particularly dramatic, just the ability to make batsmen play more often than not. It’s been an awful year for England’s Test team, probably their worst this century, but the emergence of Robinson is a decent silver lining.
11th over: Australia 40-0 (Warner 12, Harris 21) That’s a better start from Woakes, who angles two immaculate deliveries past Harris’s defensive pushes. Bugger this for a lark, concludes Harris, and throws his hands at a wide one. It takes the top edge and flashes over the slips for four. It wasn’t a great delivery, and Woakes knew it.
“I don’t think it’s a coincidence that England’s dreadful away performances since 2013/14 have coincided with much shorter Ashes tours,” says Simon Huxtable. “Losing to Sheffield Shield teams in the 90s was humiliating but helpful for acclimatisation. In 90/91 England lost 3-0 but had the better of one Test and got an honourable draw in another, in 94/95 they won one and came close to winning another, and in 98/99 they were a third-umpire decision away from a 2-2 draw. I get that there are too many international games and players are tired, but what’s the point of fielding an underprepared team that loses 5-0?”
There’s surely something in that, though it’s clearly not the only reason. The intensity of the preparation was a big part of their success in 2010-11. Maybe they should revive the bootcamp in Germany.
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10th over: Australia 36-0 (Warner 12, Harris 17) Warner survives a run-out chance, with Woakes’ throw from midwicket just missing the stumps. This mini-session was supposed to be a bit of respite from the misery for England, with the ball swinging and wickets falling. Yeah, about that. I wouldn’t be too critical of the bowlers, as there hasn’t been much movement.
9th over: Australia 34-0 (Warner 11, Harris 16) A double bowling change, with Chris Woakes replacing James Anderson (4-3-2-0). The pink ball isn’t doing much at all, and Harris cuts him breezily for four to end an expensive over. At the end of the over, BT Sport’s Matt Smith apologises for “difficult images” in the crowd. I think a sozzled spectator made the universal hand gesture for onanism. And I thought lunch was difficult.
“Talking of the gulf between county and Test cricket, my son is finding that learning a language is the biggest step from GCSE to ‘A‘ level,” says Tim Sanders. “He’s having to read proper literature in French as well as coping with proper listening and comprehension. Having said that, top international Test players often don’t cope well with English medium pace nibbling the ball about in April. So, it’s complicated…”
What isn’t? Even lunch is difficult.
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8th over: Australia 25-0 (Warner 10, Harris 8) Ollie Robinson replaces Stuart Broad, who bowled a nothing spell of 3-0-9-0. His second delivery is a no-ball, which shows admirable improvement from his first spell yesterday, and he makes the batters play more than Broad. This isn’t always a good thing, though: when he errs ever so slightly in line, Harris skims the ball through square leg for four.
That aside it’s a good start from Robinson, who has an LBW appeal against Harris turned down off the final ball. I’m pretty sure it pitched outside leg.
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7th over: Australia 17-0 (Warner 7, Harris 4) Anderson moves around the wicket to Harris, who defends solidly just outside off stump. A maiden. This is an important innings for Harris - not the last chance, but possibly the preantepenultimate one. (I’m assuming an innings victory in the third or fourth Test.)
“Ah, the fast forward method,” says Emma John. “ It’s like mastering microwave timings so you don’t burn your porridge. Here’s my recipe: no more than two seconds on x30 in between deliveries for a pace bowler, and x6 for spinners. You can try a very brief burst of x12 for the latter if you want to test out your quickdraw skills, but NEVER attempt anything faster or you will miss the entire over.”
So what about the darts?
6th over: Australia 17-0 (Warner 7, Harris 4) It’s easy to say Anderson and Broad should be bowling fuller, and Joe Root has just implored the same of Broad. But these are extremely smart bowlers, who know a soupcon more about their craft than armchair Einsteins like me, so it would be fascinating to know what the plan is. There must be a reason for it, and it’s been a recurring theme of their careers.
Maybe it’s to avoid being driven for four, which Warner does in style when Broad pitches one up. Batting looks pretty comfortable for Australia, who lead by 254.
5th over: Australia 13-0 (Warner 2, Harris 3) This situation is perfect for Australia. Even if they lose one or two tonight, they can make England’s ageing and/or injured bowlers suffer for two sessions tomorrow and then raise hell with a new pink ball. They are effectively playing the third Test already - this game is won, and while the formalities are being completed they have the chance to undermine England physically and mentally.
4th over: Australia 11-0 (Warner 2, Harris 3) There’s an argument that Ollie Robinson should be bowling here, especially as he makes batters play more than Anderson and Broad. Mind you, Anderson is Anderson and Broad ruined these two batters in favourable conditions in 2019, so there’s that. They haven’t been quite at their best, though, and Broad’s second over passes without incident.
“Hi Rob,” says Jon Millard. “I fear the English will never achieve dominance over the Australians for a statistically significant length of time. The Australian mindset is just plain better suited to cricket. They beat us like a drum for 16 years, and celebrated each victory simply by beating us again two years later. We won just the once, held a bus top parade, and apparently completely forgot we had to play them again at cricket properly until the second ball of the next series. The Australians must have been gobsmacked, then delighted. They had Bradman, we had Boycott. We had Gower, they had Border. Who has ever genuinely terrified the Australians? Mike Brearley and his mythical mind powers one summer in 1981? We should pick Derrren Brown. Or just some more South Africans.”
As an aside, I’ve never understood the criticism of that celebration in 2005. It was the greatest series ever (possibly), ending 16 years of defeats to their biggest rivals. This might be naive but i don’t think there was much hubris involved. In context it was equivalent to a World Cup win, and they celebrated emphatically. I’m afraid afternoon tea simply wasn’t going to get the job done.
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3rd over: Australia 8-0 (Warner 0, Harris 2) Better from Anderson, who angles a full-length delivery past Warner’s optimistic grope. Two leg-byes keep the scoreboard ticking, or whatever it’s doing.
2nd over: Australia 6-0 (Warner 0, Harris 2) Broad is back on the field and has two left-handers in his sights. Marcus Harris, the only player in Australia’s best XI who hasn’t contributed so far, works a couple off the pads. It hasn’t been a great start from England - Broad’s length was better than Anderson’s but his line was slightly wide. With Anderson’s line and Broad’s length, England would be unstoppable.
“Morning!” writes my colleague Emma John. “I’ve been taking advantage of this day-night timing to let myself sleep to a civilised hour, then catch up on the entire day’s play with judicious use of the fast forward button. Turns out that spooling through today’s play over two and half hours has the exact same effect has watching a Susan Sarandon weepie.”
I still haven’t mastered the fast-forward catch-up. Do people have it on x30? I do that and always miss stuff, then have to rewind, then it gets stuck and I start crying into my Weetabix. Maybe I should try x12.
1st over: Australia 4-0 (Warner 0, Harris 0) Stuart Broad, who was hit in the face by Jhye Richardson, isn’t on the field at the start of the Australian innings. Jimmy Anderson opens the bowling, with the chance to do some damage before the close. His fourth ball is an inswinger that beats Warner all ends up, hitting him on the top of the thigh and deflecting for four leg byes. The length was too short for a potential LBW, as it was throughout the over.
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That decision is good news for Nathan Lyon, who will clean up on days four and five. First, Australia have 17 overs to bat tonight, light and lightning permitting.
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WICKET! England 236 all out (Broad c Head b Starc 9)
As I was saying. Broad clouts Starc to Head in the covers, and that’s the end of that. Australia lead by 237 runs and will bat again.
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84th over: England 236-9 (Broad 9, Anderson 5) Broad swipes a short ball from Richardson towards long leg, where the backpedalling Starc takes the catch a split-second before his right foot lands on the boundary sponge. Good lad. That’s Broad’s 50th Test six; only Flintoff, Pietersen, Stokes and Botham have hit more for England.
A single brings Anderson on strike. He wears one in the sickeners and then clips efficently through square leg for four. These two have played pretty well, and with a lot of courage.
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83rd over: England 225-9 (Broad 2, Anderson 1) Now Starc is taking the opportunity to rough Broad up. Get ready for a broken fucken record. Not that you can blame them, England would do exactly the same. The longer these two survive - 3.3 overs and counting - the less likely Australia are to enforce the follow on.
“Hi Rob,” says Pete Salmon. “Given that every England selection these days is actually about planning for future Test matches, could it be that this side was chosen with one eye on the late 2022 tour of Pakistan? Is that why they are resting all the spinners?”
Arf. While it’s not quite the aforementioned by-election result, that did raise a smile. England may be useless at almost everything, but it’s still a world-beater when it comes to gallows humour.
82th over: England 224-9 (Broad 1, Anderson 1) Broad is fine to continue being peppered by Richardson. On BT Sport, Matt Prior discusses what it’s like as a proper batter in a situation like this, how you feel guilty because you haven’t done your job properly and your mate is getting dusted up as a result.
“Morning Rob,” says Nick Parish. “Like many other of your readers, I’m just waking up and finding out about the cricket disaster. It’s just like yesterday all over again. What time does the by-election result come along to make us all feel better?”
Hmm, I know this is the Guardian but I’m not sure politics and sport should mix in this case. Unutterably funny though, eh.
81.1 overs: England 221-9 (Broad 0, Anderson 1) Jhye Richardson’s first ball is a beautifully directed bumper than Broad gloves into his grille. Richardson talks a bit of trash; Broad has a pop back. I suspect he reminded Richardson that, while the score might 221-9, it’s also 525-6.
There’s a break in play while Broad is checked for concussion.
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81st over: England 221-9 (Broad 0, Anderson 1) Mitchell Starc takes the new ball, because he needs every advantage he can get against Broad and Anderson. Actually, Anderson does really well to get on top of a couple of unpleasant short balls. He survives a full over before wearily touching gloves with his gganbu at the other end. They’re too old for this.
“Interesting point about the effect of Test cricket,” says Matt Dony. “I don’t think I’ve seen another sport where the step up to the elite competition is so great. Test cricket really is a different sport compared to the domestic layers beneath it. It involves many of the same people, and ostensibly the same circumstances and situations, but it’s a world apart. As much as we all want to be sportsmen, I can’t imagine having the ability, dedication and focus to play for Glamorgan in front of a few thousand people. The thought of padding up for a Test innings is so far beyond terrifying, I can’t begin to comprehend it.”
I think you’ll be okay, Matt. But you make a really good point – I suppose it’s because the format is so long, both matches and series, so there’s more scope for a bit of the old mental disintegration.
80th over: England 221-9 (Broad 0, Anderson 1) Green has dismissed England’s two best batters, Root and Stokes, which is a decent notch on his Statsguru.
This match has been so similar to the pink-ball Test in 2017-18. Shane Warne makes the point that Australia might enforce the follow on this time because of what happened in the third innings four years ago, when Jimmy Anderson rolled them for 138.
WICKET! England 220-9 (Green b Stokes 34)
Cameroon Green wins the battle of the allrounders. Stokes, who was slogging selflessly in an attempt to save the follow on, tried to flatbat Green through the covers and dragged the ball onto the stumps.
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79th over: England 220-8 (Stokes 34, Broad 0) Stokes turns down another single off Lyon’s first ball, and then slog-sweeps him into crowd for a laugh. That’s England’s first six of the series. He launches Lyon handsomely over wide mid-off for four more, and then takes another single to keep the strike. Eleven runs from the over. As the proverb says, a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. Mind you, so does a drunken journey of four yards that culminates with you falling flat on your face.
“DELIGHTED to see Robinson out as a ginger duck: when one burns a review on one’s quacking way out,” says Meghan Purvis. “Yes, it’s named after Jonny Bairstow. Yes, I’m supporting Australia, but I think the term’s usefulness cuts across country lines.”
I’ll be honest with you, with all the Ns in the surrounding words, and given England’s struggles since dinner, at first glance I read ‘usefulness cuts’ somewhat differently.
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78th over: England 209-8 (Stokes 23, Broad 0) Shane Warne thinks Australia should enforce the follow on, which is interesting because he normally advocates what’s best for the spinner.
Stokes has decided it’s time to go into slog mode. He has an almighty heave at Green, inside-edging past leg stump for four, and then turns down a single to long off. He keeps the strike with a single off the last ball.
The Australian commentators on BT Sport say he is really struggling with his knee, and that’s partly why he has been so strokeless against Lyon. The upside - if he’s not completely knacked - is that he has faced 90-odd balls, which is important for a player who is so dependent on rhythm.
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77th over: England 204-8 (Stokes 18, Robinson 0) Since he made a determined 42 on debut against New Zealand, Ollie Robinson has scored 53 runs at 5.88. He’s better than that. I think, though I’m not really sure any more.
WICKET! England 204-8 (Robinson LBW b Lyon 0)
Test cricket has a nasty habit of turning excellent county No8s into walking wickets, and Ollie Robinson has made another duck. He missed a whip across the line at Lyon and was given out LBW. Robinson reviewed, a fair decision as there was some doubt on height, but replays showed it was hitting the top of the stumps.
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76th over: England 203-7 (Stokes 17, Robinson 0) Cameron Green gives Robinson a dose of his own trajectory with a trampolining delivery that beats the edge. Andnow Robinson has been dropped! He edged to fourth slip, where Starc (yep) put down a fairly straightforward chance. Smith threw himself at the rebound but couldn’t hold on.
“It’s just dawned on me that I have been emailing you on the OBO for nearly a third of my life,” writes Phil Withall, aged 247. “Probably 90% of those emails have been written in a state of confusion and despondency, this one included. Has time moved forward at all? Apart from my fetchingly bald head, general weariness with life and a myriad shattered dreams, has anything really changed? Dysfunctional selection, batting collapses, ineffective bowlers, bizarre managerial decisions... God I love cricket, and the OBO provides a little bit of comfort through all the pain. My thanks to all.”
I wish we’d had the OBO in the 1990s. The 46 all out would have been a riot, and as for the second innings at Melbourne in 1990-91...
75th over: England 202-7 (Stokes 15, Robinson 0) Though it means a tricky session against the pink ball under lights, I expect Australia to bat again. There are wickets galore for Lyon on day five, with the added bonus that it will make him a greater threat for the rest of the series.
WICKET! England 202-7 (Woakes b Lyon 24)
Woakes goes, bowled by Lyon. He was unsettled by the previous delivery, which turned and bounced grotesquely to hit him in the stomach. He felt nervously outside off stump at the next ball and inside-edged it onto the stumps.
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74th over: England 201-6 (Stokes 15, Woakes 24) Stokes drives Neser pleasantly through mid-off for a couple.
“Given the urgent need to do something - anything! - about the top order, and Ollie Pope’s struggles with spin, is it worth shifting him up to 3 and having Malan open?” says George Wright. “Then Lawrence can come in at six? I appreciate it’s all shuffling the deckchairs at this point, but it seems strange to have a clearly decent batsman in a position where he most commonly faces his biggest weakness?”
It’s an emerging weakness, which is why we’ve all been caught a bit cold. I wouldn’t open with Malan - he’s too high at No3 outside Australia - but I wonder if this is something Pope might do for Surrey from next summer, especially as he is an excellent counter-attacker against seam. Not sure about him against the new ball, but they could try something like Crawley, Hameed, Pope, Root, Malan, Stokes. Or they could just start weeping openly, while making ostentatious wailing noises, and see what happens.
I wouldn’t drop Burns yet. He’s been England’s second best batter this year (yes, I know) and unless it’s obvious he is shot mentally I would give him at least one more Test.
73rd over: England 198-6 (Stokes 12, Woakes 24) A maiden from Lyon to Woakes. He played one nice stroke, a clip off the pads, but couldn’t beat midwicket. Seven overs to the new ball.
72nd over: England 198-6 (Stokes 12, Woakes 24) Michael Neser starts after tea, and beats Woakes with his first and third deliveries.
“Australia are the better team but are they this much better?” writes Niall Mullen. “To quote Peter Reid, ‘I don’t give a f*** about losing but I’ll tell you what I do give a f*** about, losing shite’.”
I’m not sure that’s fair. Australia are just a much better team in these conditions, especially with England’s morale through the floor even before the series. England didn’t help themselves with their pre-match decisions at Brisbane, but once they lost that game the rest of the series was always likely to be admin.
A new captain and/or coach might get more out of them I suppose. But, and I know it’s not much consolation right now, they are still the fourth or fifth best team in the world, and they’ll beat most opponents in the next couple of years. The Test rankings are a bit like the Premier League - the top three that are miles better than the rest, which leads to some grisly mismatches.
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“Rob, you seem to misunderstand,” says Andrew Hurley. “If Stokes contributed to winning some games with big centuries, and still only averages 36, that indicates quite clearly he contributed to losing many more games - granted, these low scores don’t make the headlines or stay in people’s memories, but he’s nowhere near a great batsman, not even a good one - good batsmen at 5/6 do not average 36.”
All runs aren’t equal, surely. If Stokes comes out at 400 for three and gets a duck, who cares. He has hot and cold periods - when he’s out of form he can look awful - but I don’t accept that you can judge him purelyon statistics. What’s next, quantifying orgasms? Sorry, my love, I’ll give you a hug in a minute but I just need to put that knee-trembler through the algorithm.
Let’s leave it at that, we’re clearly not going to agree. I think you have a point, and there is a contradiction in a great players whose numbers are relatively mediocre, but I think that should trigger curiosity rather than judgement.
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Talking of Ramps and the 1990s, those of a certain disposition will enjoy this.
“Honestly don’t know how you keep coming back for more OBO punishment,” says Will Vignoles. “Is Ollie Pope in danger of becoming this generation’s Mark Ramprakash? Beautiful to watch, clearly too good for county cricket, but maybe just lacking that final ounce of mental toughness required to become a top-level batsman. A real shame as when he first emerged he looked like the answer to the middle order, but maybe England need to look elsewhere. Another chance for Dan Lawrence perhaps?”
It’s certainly possible, and as you say Pope will score millions in county cricket if he doesn’t make it at Test level. There have been worrying signs this year, especially against spin, but he turns 24 in January so he has loads of time. I think he’s tough enough mentally, though we don’t see what is going on behind the scenes. (There were, we realise now, warning signs aplenty with Ramps once he started to struggle in 1992.)
I still think Pope will make it, though I said that about Ramprakash once a month, every month, between 1991 and 2002. It still annoys me that they left him out in New Zealand in 1991-92, mind. That did a lot more damage than any of us realised at that time.
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Tea or whatever we call the day-night equivalent
That was a match-winning, series-winning session for Australia: 30 overs, 57 runs, four prime middle-order wickets. Cameron Green blew the whole thing open with the wicket of Joe Root, and then Mitchell Starc and Nathan Lyon started to drip water onto England’s scalp. England didn’t help themselves with some iffy shot selection, but I do think it was more about good bowling than poor batting. Australia are a better team, the end.
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71st over: England 197-6 (Stokes 12, Woakes 23) Lyon bowls the last over before the break to Stokes, who continues to defend slightly crabbily. Another maiden. It’s been an intriguing contest, and for once that’s not a euphemism. Stokes has barely played an attacking stroke off Lyon but, after a very difficult start, has looked increasingly secure. It’s been pretty similar to his start at Headingley. though he is scoring more quickly this time: he has 12 from 71 balls.
70th over: England 197-6 (Stokes 12, Woakes 23) Woakes rifles another square drive for four off Richardson. If he is ever going to get a half-century in Australia, it will surely be on a slow pitch like this one. He looks vulnerable against the short ball on the quicker pitches at Brisbane and Perth.
Richardson decides to explore the middle of the pitch, but the ball sits up in slow motion and Woakes larrups a disdainful pull through midwicket for four more. This is a useful counter-attack, 23 from 25 balls.
69th over: England 187-6 (Stokes 12, Woakes 13) A single off Lyon allows Stokes to join the double-figures massive. Four of them now, what a formidable gang they are. It took Stokes 62 balls, a reflection of his over-my-dead-bat mentality. A thick edge brings two more later inthe over, though he wasn’t running freely as it came back for the second. His knee clearly isn’t right. Paradoxically, I think his dodgy knee will help him become England Test captain in January, because he can redefine himself as a batter who bowls a bit. That and the fact there are literally no other candidates.
68th over: England 183-6 (Stokes 9, Woakes 12) Thanks for all your emails, which I’m trying to sift through between and during overs. I should probably stop for a bit and concentrate on the cricket.
Woakes, driving loosely at Richardson, slices the ball in the air and not far short of backward point. Earlier in the over he drove his third boundary to become the third English player to reach dougle figures, and end geeky scorecard comparisons with Trinidad 1986.
67th over: England 179-6 (Stokes 9, Woakes 8) “OK Rob, it’s time to ask the question,” says Shaun Lawson, which really has taken me by surprise given we’ve never met. “We both grew up at a time when the England cricket team was a national laughing-stock. An unmitigated embarrassment for 13 years. But the team of the 90s would beat this shower like a drum... wouldn’t they?
“The whole of Test cricket was massively better back then. And no way, no way would the likes of Gooch, Atherton (even with his poor Ashes record), Stewart, Hussain, Ramprakash or the majestic Thorpe have just surrendered like this. Nor would Gough, or Headley, or Malcolm. Tufnell at his best was terrific too. In short: just what in the world is going on here? Yours in affectionate remembrance of English cricket.”
I’m not sure I agree. I love that team, but they were the worst in the world in 1999. This England team, for all their limitations, are still the fourth or fifth best in the world. And don’t get me started on the late-1980s team. I think we’re guilty of thinking of the 1990s team at their best and the 2021 team at their worst. I realise the way they are playing at the moment makes the latter somewhat unavoidable.
66th over: England 179-6 (Stokes 9, Woakes 8) Jhye Richardson replaces Starc, who bowled an outstanding spell of 7-2-12-2. His second ball is a half-volley that Woakes punches confidently between extra cover and mid-off for four. He edges the next one, but softens his hands sufficiently to ensure it dops well short of Smith at second slip. Later in the over, another edge drops short and scuttles away for four more.
“Rob,” says Davorder. “This innings now feels very Blade-runnery indeed. ‘Fiery the angels fell; deep thunder rolled around their shores; burning with the fires of Starc.’ Only slightly adapted from the film. But then Roy also messed with the original lines by Pope. (I wanted it to be Pope, darn it.)”
65th over: England 171-6 (Stokes 9, Woakes 0) Saying which, Stokes tries a reverse sweep at Lyon and misses. The next ball turns sharply, if slowly, to beat the edge. If this goes to a fifth day, and I think it will, Lyon will be unplayable.
Another maiden, the nth since lunch; yes I have lost count. Stokes has 9 from 54 balls.
64th over: England 171-6 (Stokes 9, Woakes 0) Stokes continues to defend diligently atop the burning deck. At some stage, if he’s still there, he’ll start swinging, but at the moment he’s getting more value from hanging around and getting some rhythm into his batting.
“I was referring to Test cricket, and referred to Stokes’s average,” says Andrew Hurley. “How is a player averaging 36 a great player? Help me understand...”
Because he wins more games and big moments than most people who average 45. And that average includes some lost years early in his career. For what it’s worth I don’t think he’s a great batter, but anyone who doesn’t think he’s a great cricketer needs a month in the Statsguru rehab clinic.
63rd over: England 170-6 (Stokes 8, Woakes 0) That last Starc over was a wicket maiden, and the 11th maiden since lunch. The way Australia have quietly overwhelmed England evokes the darkest day of all on this ground, 5 December 2006.
Lyon continues, with four men round the bat for Woakes. One from the over. Lyon’s figures look fairly ordinary (20-7-41-1) but he has been a key part of the post-dinner suffocation.
62nd over: England 169-6 (Stokes 7, Woakes 0) That was a 15-ball duck for Buttler. He started this series with such promise and freedom, and already Australia have broken him. Sad to say, one way or another this is his last Test series.
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WICKET! England 169-6 (Buttler c Warner b Starc 0)
Oh dear lord. Buttler, still stuck on nought, chases a wide, full delivery from Starc and is beautifully taken by Warner at first slip. That’s another loose stroke, though it was a forced error - since lunch, Australia have just suffocated England.
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61st over: England 169-5 (Stokes 7, Buttler 0) “I keep reading Stokes is a great batsman but he averages 36,” says Andrew Hurley. “Isn’t he like a striker who rattles in a hat trick once in a blue moon but ends up with ten goals a season? Why the hyperbole about a player who very, very rarely produces?”
There’s an interesting point in there, and his career is a bit of a contradiction - but come on, he doesn’t ‘very, very rarely produce’. He certainly has little-girl-with-the-little-curl qualities. But he also wins big moments with bat and ball - World Cup finals, that sort of thing - and you can’t quantify that.
60th over: England 169-5 (Stokes 7, Buttler 0) Buttler chases a wide one from Starc and is beaten. He has started his innings like a man whose subconscious won’t shut up. Another maiden, which means England are 29 for three from 19 overs in this session. And if you conveniently ignore the first two overs after dinner, they are 21 for three from the last 17. That’s with an old ball on a relatively flat pitch.
It’ll be interesting to see whether Australia enforce the follow on. They have already won this game, let’s be honest, and as an added bonus they get to choose the tool with which to torture England: a new pink ball this evening, or an old ball turning square for Lyon on day five. I suspect they will bat again.
59th over: England 169-5 (Stokes 7, Buttler 0) There’s already a lot of turn for Lyon, which makes life especially difficult for the left-handed Stokes. Thus far he has played very watchfully, but when Lyon errs slightly in line he smacks a sweep through square leg for four. That’s his first boundary. Obviously, because he’s now on seven.
“Following on from Brian’s Roy Batty reference, maybe this is the point where Stokes says, ‘I want more runs…’,” says Matt Dony, as a blast of fresh air tickles the top of my head. “Of course, how he finishes that sentence depends on which version you’re watching.”
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58th over: England 165-5 (Stokes 3, Buttler 0) Buttler’s approach at Brisbane was just right, though that was before he dropped a sitter on day one. He gets down on himself quite easily, certianly in Test cricket, so it’ll be interesting to see how he plays. Starc beats him third ball with a fine delivery, angled across him from over the wicket.
During that last over we saw a few replays of Labuschagne’s catch - it was superb, not just the reaction but also the anticipation. As Pope went down the track, Labuschagne took a couple of steps to his left; had he not done so, it would have been a much tougher chance.
It would be wrong to blame Root and Malan for this, but equally you can’t ignore England’s poor conversion rate - especially in Australia, where it’s so important to turn fifties into one-fifties. In the last two Ashes series in Australia, ie the lifespan of these teams, Australia’s conversion rate of fifties to hundreds is a solid 41 per cent. England’s is 15.
57th over: England 164-5 (Stokes 2, Buttler 0) That’s drinks. It’s easy to call England the biggest shower in the history of slang, and we’ll come to that, but Australia have been phenomenal since lunch. It’s been a masterclass in old-ball bowling - tight, aggressive quick bowling at one end and mischievous, aggressive spin at the other. In this session, England are 24 for three from 16 overs.
WICKET! England 164-5 (Pope c Labuschagne b Lyon 5)
Do not adjust your set. A few balls after the DRS reprieve, Pope is caught at short leg for real. He skipped down the track to Lyon and flicked the ball straight at Labuschagne, who took a superb reaction catch. Pope is a fine player but he is very skittish against top-class spin bowling.
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POPE IS NOT OUT!
It hit him on the elbow, not the glove, so Pope survives.
ENGLAND REVIEW! Pope given out caught bat-pad
Lyon is wicketless but looks extremely dangerous, and for heaven’s sake he’s no longer wicketless. Or is he? Pope pushes forward and is given out caught at short leg. He reviews immediately, which suggests he didn’t hit it.
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56th over: England 163-4 (Stokes 1, Pope 5) Thanks Emma, morning/evening everyone. Stokes gets off the mark from his 24th delivery - he’s tryingto follow the Headingley template, isn’t he - and then Pope pulls confidently behind square for his first boundary. He’ll be keen to counter-attack if possible; until that moment, it hadn’t been. Australia have been quite brilliant since lunch.
55th over: England 158-4 (Stokes 0, Pope 1) Lyon is in control here. The hosts are not giving away runs for nothing, and Lyon makes it another maiden here. He has Pope defending off the back foot, nudging from deep in his crease. Stokes, meanwhile, can’t get himself off zero.
And with that, I’m now going to hand you over to Rob Smyth, who will take you through the remainder of the day’s play.
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54th over: England 158-4 (Stokes 0, Pope 1) Pretty shrewd of Smith to bring Green off for a bit and bring back Starc. Malan has thrown away his century and this day has completely turned within about 15 minutes. What two quickfire wickets can do. Australia are back in control here. Pope steals a risky single off Starc, the only run for the over.
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53rd over: England 157-4 (Stokes 0, Pope 0) Stokes leaves a wide ball as Lyon comes around the wicket. Now he’s beaten as the ball spins well off the bounce.
“Good morning Emma,” says Brian. “Well that didn’t take very long for my euphoria at waking to a wicketless opening session to disappear ‘like tears in the rain’. Time to die, as Roy Batty would say, or can Stokes replicate the form of yore?”
52nd over: England 157-4 (Stokes 0, Pope 0) All over, red rover. Pope is in the hot seat and survives a Starc inswinger to complete a dramatic over.
Wicket! Malan c Smith b Starc 80 (England 157-4)
Green has been brought off and Starc is now inswinging hard to Malan, who blocks this with authority but has been lacking a little in composure compared to the last session? Am I imagining this? Maybe, as Starc gifts him a shot, wide-ish one for him have some fun with for a four. Oh and he’s out! The very next ball! He tries for the same shot as the one that got him that boundary but he’s nicked a nice, full delivery and Smith is right where he needs to be in the slips.
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51st over: England 153-3 (Malan 76, Stokes 0) Malan breaks the drought, outsmarting Lyon’s bounce and turn that is looking very nice, and edges for two runs.
50th over: England 150-3 (Malan 73, Stokes 0) Stokes is dancing on his funky feet, shuffling and shifting against the ferocity of Green. He starts running for a single, is called back in the nick of time, defends, digs out a yorker, pulls, drives, for no return. That’s six Australian maidens now.
Cameron Green gets Joe Root for the second time in the series. He's consistently bothered Root with his channel line, and while only a few of his deliveries would have hit the stumps, Root has left just seven balls from Green. #Ashes @IGCom pic.twitter.com/Gg1lveCKsY
— The CricViz Analyst (@cricvizanalyst) December 18, 2021
49th over: England 150-3 (Malan 73, Stokes 0) Lyon bowls Australia fifth consecutive maiden. They’re not bleeding runs and have ensured Root STILL does not have a Test century in Australia. Is this when the pendulum starts to swing?
48th over: England 150-3 (Malan 73, Stokes 0) Stokes starts by defending, and he’s doing a good job of it. Until, um, he is avoiding a short ball from Green and then swinging back around Matrix-style to have a go at it. He’s confused himself a bit. Green, meanwhile, bowling at 143kph.
47th over: England 150-3 (Malan 73, Stokes 0) What can Ben Stokes bring to the table? He’ll have to wait an over to find out because Malan is spending this one drifting, edging and floating for no runs off Lyon.
46th over: England 150-3 (Malan 73, Stokes 0) There has been a hint of something coming for a couple of overs. A small whiff of discomfort on the batters’ part and Green went for blood here. A delivery not completely unlike Root’s last close call and he gets enough of an edge that it pings behind him to first slip where Smith is waiting for the regulation catch. That’s a big wicket.
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Wicket! Root c Smith b Green 62 (England 150-3)
Root edges behind to first slip and it’s all over red rover for the England captain! What was I just saying about a breakthrough?
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45th over: England 150-2 (Malan 73, Root 62) Maiden over for Lyon to Malan, but Australia still don’t have a breakthrough. If they can jag one wicket they might just start to work their way down the order.
Christina writes in: “I bet Australia are regretting the fact that they declared now! Could prove to be a costly mistake...”
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44th over: England 150-2 (Malan 73, Root 62) Green has the ball in hand and he almost, almost has Root right where he wants him. His delivery has a little bit of lift as Root appears indecisive about whether to have a go at it or not. He makes the – late– call to leave it and only just gets away with it.
43rd over: England 148-2 (Malan 72, Root 61) Lyon has a crack now, and we are edging towards the part of the day when he may be used more often. He has Malan slicing the ball slightly skyward in a fashion that it drops just a little out of reach of a hovering Green. Two balls later, though, he pounces on a shorter delivery and cuts away a four to backward point.
42nd over: England 144-2 (Malan 68, Root 61) We are back after dinner, or afternoon tea, or breakfast – depending where you are in the world. Green is on the attack first and it only takes Root four balls to bring up the first four of the session. He plays it late, opens his face only ever so slightly and threads a sliver of space between slip and gully.
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There are a few England fans on the email and Twitter doing that England fan thing.
“Listen,” writes Ben, “its the hope that kills you. After lunch, the first over will result in 6 wickets and we’ll follow on for a combined total of 300. Anything better is a bonus.”
In the final overs of that session Root surpassed 1,600 runs this calendar year. He is currently on 1,601, which means he has eclipsed Michael Clarke’s 1,595 and now has Graeme Smith (1,656 runs in 2008) in his sights.
It seems an obvious question, but how much are Australia missing Cummins and Hazlewood right now? The ball was relatively new and yet the pace attack has still been left wanting. Not a criticism of Neser and Richardson et al, just an observation.
“This is a much better start to the weekend than many of us expected,” writes Guy, who is presumably an England supporter. “It’s heartening to see our two best batters fight back. But we’ve been here before, specifically last week, so it’s not just down to them, is it? Ask me again at the close, but I’m praying for 300-2.”
The partnership stands at 128 as Root and Malan head off the pitch and into the tunnel. A light lunch, a snack perhaps, some electrolytes to celebrate Australia’s failure to take a wicket in the first session of day three.
In the last two Ashes series in Australia, England have batted through a session without losing a wicket only three times. Dawid Malan's been there every time (with Bairstow at Perth 2017, then Root twice this series). #Ashes
— Ben Jones (@benjonescricket) December 18, 2021
41st over: England 140-2 (Malan 68, Root 57) Wow, that’s close. Richardson beats Root on the inside edge but ball tracking shows it’s bounced over the stumps. Leg bye. It’s time for dinner!
40th over: England 139-2 (Malan 68, Root 57) Root has 23 Test centuries but none of those have come in Australia. Seems absurd, but he could be on track for his first. He inches closer as Green bowls a wee bit short and then a little too full, driving the Australian through point for two and then a cheeky one via a pull shot.
39th over: England 134-2 (Malan 67, Root 53) Dinner is getting closer and England just have to hold firm until then. To wit, Root brings up a four and his half-century – his 52nd in Test cricket and his 15th against Australia. He is going great guns and is seemingly hanging around for a bit.
On the email, Redmeansrun writes in with some Jos Buttler punnage: “We seem to have mislaid your coat sir” Buttler
38th over: England 129-2 (Malan 67, Root 48) Welcome Cameron Green. What have you got? Can you give this sauce bottle a shake? Good length and no runs from his opening three balls to Malan, until the length isn’t so good and the batter makes hay through midwicket for four.
37th over: England 123-2 (Malan 62, Root 47) Richardson has the toe cut out of left shoe to help with the impact. We are getting close-ups now of Fox of his toe peeping out the front, and laughter from the commentary box. Let’s get the camera back on the action, hey, because Root has just smashes a decisive four to backward square leg.
36th over: England 117-2 (Malan 61, Root 42) A maiden over for Lyon, thank you very much. Bit of overspin, bit of fun twistiness.
35th over: England 117-2 (Malan 61, Root 42) Root hits a single but cops a hit to his thigh. Malan adds a single to point and Malan another to cover. Richardson gets a tiiiiny bit of movement away from Malan. He’s beaten, but notches another single to round out the over.
England have made 11 century partnerships in Tests this year. Nine of those have involved Joe Root and three were the combo of Root and Malan.
They really have left a lot to be desired in this department though:
Joe Root and Dawid Malan are the only England players to have played in both Tests this series and not dropped a catch. #Ashes
— The CricViz Analyst (@cricvizanalyst) December 18, 2021
34th over: England 113-2 (Malan 59, Root 41) Malan puts away a straight-shooter from Lyon and brings up his century partnership with Root, which right now is going some way to closing the hefty deficit. Australia need a wicket or risk being given a taste of their own medicine.
33rd over: England 110-2 (Malan 58, Root 39) Richardson is back in the attack and ships one run to Root. Speaking of Root, he has now surpassed Tendulkar for most Test runs in a calendar year, which is truly, mind-blowingly impressive. He’s close to Clarke now!
1788 - Mohammad Yousuf (2006)
1710 - Viv Richards (1976)
1656 - Graeme Smith (2008)
1595 - Michael Clarke (2012)
1563* - Joe Root (2021)
1562 - Sachin Tendulkar (2010)
32nd over: England 109-2 (Malan 58, Root 38) Lyon gives Malan a freebie with just enough width to drive it through the covers for four.
31st over: England 105-2 (Malan 54, Root 38) Labuschagne, meanwhile, is moving his mouth non-stop – he’s outdoing Warney for laddish commentary at the moment, though seems pretty harmless. Malan brings up three runs and England’s 100 off Neser before Root stands tall on his backfoot for a truly exquisite punch through to the short boundary.
30th over: England 98-2 (Malan 51, Root 34) Lyon is back on the attack, first of Malan, who gets away a single to fine leg, before Root swerves and sweeps the next five for no reward.
29th over: England 97-2 (Malan 50, Root 34) LBW! LBW? Is it? Nesser has bowled to Root and it appears to have struck his pad first. Was in the line of the off-stump? It’s given not out but Smith reviews. He does not get the answer he was looking for as ball tracking shows it skirted over the top of the bails. Great ball though, and it seamed sharply back in at Root. The review overshadowed Malan bringing up his 50.
28th over: England 96-2 (Malan 49, Root 34)
Jim from Dublin has this to say: “I enjoy following the English on their travails in sunnier less hospitable climbs, however, I have a bad feeling Mother Nature may have had enough, and could come to the rescue of the weather beaten lobster laden barmy army, offering 2 draws. 3 losses.”
27th over: England 92-2 (Malan 47, Root 32) Nesser is bowling and Malan picks up a couple of handy runs via fine leg, before popping up a potential gimme for Neser that comes to nothing. He defends, defends, then thumps another to long-on for two.
26th over: England 88-2 (Malan 43, Root 32) Root gets away a superb reverse sweep that seemingly comes from nowhere after almost an over of playing off the back foot to point. This time his weight is over his front knee and his body turning as the ball runs away for a four to deep backward point, evading the fielder who digs up some dirt in his effort to stop it.
“Morning, Emma,” says Darryl from Johannesburg, who is about to criticise Root straight after his fine shot.
“Surveying the England shambles in the series thus far it seems essential to spike Silverwood and replace Root as captain: nice guy, nice with bat in hand, but light in the captaincy department. It’s appalling how Leach has been treated – and deployed. And it’s time the gloves went to a proper keeper like Foakes. It is long overdue to acknowledge the mirage of Buttler turning into an English Adam Gilchrist. The only sadness there is that the question about who is responsible for another Test loss - “Whodunnit?” - won’t be answered by “Buttler done it.”
25th over: England 84-2 (Malan 43, Root 28) Root diverts a full Neser delivery to mid-wicket. Malan gets away (again) with a mistimed drive that skims off his inside edge, but atones at the end of the over with a four that was just breezy to watch. Time for the drinks break, and England will be very happy with the position they are in.
24th over: England 77-2 (Malan 38, Root 26) Four! Almost a six! Lyon bears down on Root but he is in fine touch. He shuffles his feet, then swings his bat through that pink so sweetly it bounces just short of the ropes before hurtling over. Malan follows his captain’s lead with a boundary of his own but is less in control, even though Lyon is clearly unhappy with his away-spinning delivery. Because it was a little short he sort of cuts it up, speculatively, but gets away with it. Still, you have to take it.
23rd over: England 68-2 (Malan 34, Root 21) Neser is finding movement where there is ostensibly no movement to be found. The debutant is having a cracker, a deserved one at that. Not the ideal circumstances under which to get your start but the 31-year-old has taken his opportunity. Root mostly defends, eking only a single out to deep backward point.
22nd over: England 67-2 (Malan 34, Root 20) The new bat appears working a treat but he gets a decent slice of luck after leaning in and trying a sweep shot that catches an edge and pops up into the path of Starc in the outfield, but fortuitously a little to the left.
21st over: England 65-2 (Malan 33, Root 19) Roots makes no runs off Starc’s first four balls but appears to have cracked his bat. There is a brief halt in play as he waits for a replacement to be brought out. He has a choice of two and weighs up both before taking one and marching back to the crease.
Meanwhile, Robert has been wordsmithing at home on a theme of Jos Buttler and has this: “The Buttler did it. No he didn’t!”
20th over: England 65-2 (Malan 33, Root 19) The GOAT is here. Nathan Lyon is here. The commentators are reminding us once again that the spinner used to be a groundskeeper at Adelaide Oval. To be fair, he has 51 wickets at an average of 26 here. Root gently taps his first delivery outside his off-stump, which is how much of his first over goes. Malan is in defence mode.
19th over: England 64-2 (Malan 33, Root 18) Starc is back bowls well wide, which Malan leaves, but follows with an inswinging yorker and then a bouncer for variation. Malan has to hustle to get out of the way.
18th over: England 62-2 (Malan 31, Root 18) Phew! That was close that, but good judgment from the batters as Malan flick Richardson to the right of short cover. The fielder is up for it and hurtles the ball towards – but not directly on target at – the stumps, but Root is home either way. The pair bring up their 50 partnership.
17th over: England 55-2 (Malan 27, Root 15) Starc enjoys a maiden over against Root to wipe away his tears after his opening horror show. To be fair they are not fantastic conditions for him – there’s not much movement happening out there.
Meanwhile, reader Mac Millings clearly still has his head in England’s fielding problems and has selected his all-time Dropped Catch XI:
“Spill AtheyFumble
Mohammad AshSNAFU
Stuart Floor
In-and-outzamam-ul-Haq
Basil “Dolly” D’Oliveira
Jimmy Neeshambles
Miss Lewis
Jos Buttlerfingers
Gimme Anderson
Can’t bat, can’t bowl, can’t Phil DeFreitas”
Can someone please come up with a more original Jos Buttler pun? Please.
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16th over: England 55-2 (Malan 27, Root 15) Malan is up and about and on the front foot to drive Richardson to deep extra-cover and make two runs for his troubles. The next delivery, though, is full, and catches his outside edge before pinging away towards Smith at second slip. It bounces just in front of him before he gets low and to the left to stop the ball in its tracks.
15th over: England 51-2 (Malan 24, Root 14) Starc is in the middle for a spell and doesn’t start too well as Malan pumps him for consecutive fours off his first two balls. They are short deliveries, both outside the off stump, and the batter simply lies in wait until he’s ready to cut it away. No run, no run, three (3) runs – a drive wide of mid-off. Very positive signs for England.
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14th over: England 40-2 (Malan 13, Root 14) There is a soft appeal from Australia as Richardson hits Malan on the pads – via his bat – that turns into a decidedly loud appeal once Marnus Labuschagne pipes up at third slip. No dice. But Malan is struggling ever so slightly to give himself enough room but oh! As soon as I type this he has leaned in beautifully for a drive that transfers the momentum off Richardson’s full delivery and past mid-off for a four.
13th over: England 35-2 (Malan 8, Root 14) Neser, bowling fuller than England have been, almost grabs a maiden but for one run that Malan glances to long leg. The next half-hour to an hour will be key for these batters, you’d think. Australia will want to strike the top order sooner rather than later or otherwise allow the tourists to settle in and get comfy.
Robert Wilson has written in.
“Greetings from late-night Paris. The Barney Ronay piece is a good one. But it’s a mistake to think he’s not feeling positive. Since yesterday’s play hit that note of tremulous haplessness that England fans know so well, they’ve been feeling absolutely tremendous, like a six year-old on Christmas morning. Their blood-pressure is down, their heart-rates are calming and they’re settling into that usual fug of rueful dismay that they find as cosy and familiar as a pair of old slippers. A score of under 80 is a warm bath to them, an innings defeat a glass of claret. It’s not that they cope well with losing. They evidently preferit.
“Adelaide in 2010 made them fretful and feverish. They liked Mark Ramprakash a lot more than Robin Smith. Look at the BTL comments on today’s reports. Their delight is palpable, a steady drizzle of mulish acceptance, with the odd comfortless and icy joke. And it’s not even a dreary Boycottian Things Were Better In My Day nostalgia. Indeed the only energy the old timers seem to show is to debate whether it was more depressing to be an England fan in the 80s, or 90s, or early 2000s (a couple of haunted veterans still having flashbacks of watching Chris Tavaré or Martin McCague waxed quite heated).
2005 was an outlier (I think they were all drunk). England fans are ****ing loving this.”
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12th over: England 34-2 (Malan 7, Root 14) Lovely shot from Root, who opens the face of his bat, stands tall, and slips his shot away through backward point. Richardson’s delivery didn’t move away quite as much as he may have anticipated and Lyon can’t stop it hitting the ropes. He really is a lovely technician, Joe Root.
11th over: England 28-2 (Malan 6, Root 9) Root is showing his class here with a full-faced drive as Neser goes for his leg stump. Malan, facing Nesser, catches the inside edge again and appears as if he can’t quite pick up his feet. He’s lucky again, and makes one run, which is more than he managed from his previous two deliveries. Root is up now and ouch, the delivery rises sharply and kisses his hip.
10th over: England 23-2 (Malan 5, Root 6) To update, there will be 95 overs remaining today. Including this one which starts with Root facing Richardson, who bowls a no ball in his second delivery and is hit for a single by the England captain to cover. And hey, there’s a four to Malan. He got a bit lucky there as Richardson drew an inside edge but got it away.
9th over: England 17-2 (Malan 1, Root 5) Nesser gets us away with Malan in strike. Good length just outside the off stump. Another to round out this over has Malan on the defence.
We are getting close to the start of play now, which has been brought forward by 20 minutes to make up for yesterday’s lost time. The warm-ups are done, which included some keepy uppies, and the players are out in the middle.
Meanwhile, Barney Ronay is back in Blighty and has been feeling a little less positive about England’s performance.
“Detailed analysis shows Australia have been better in three key areas so far: batting, bowling and fielding. Otherwise things have been pretty even. It was at best a flicker of a false dawn. But there was something else here too, a sniff of a more competent timeline; of the series, as they used to say on Bullseye, that you could have had.
These Ashes feel doomed already after a day in which England were reduced to 17 for two, 456 behind. And yet, with all due respect to Australia’s good batting and excellent seam bowling, this has been a case of self-dooming. And self-dooming on two fronts, most obviously the muddled internal management of Chris Silverwood and Joe Root.”
Full article here:
The considered Geoff Lemon had some thoughts on the considered Steve Smith.
“In 2017, Steve Smith began what can now be mapped as his highest batting peak. Three centuries in four Tests while leading a tour of India, a feat no visiting captain has bettered, while holding his team in the series until a final defeat 2-1. Then home for an Ashes series that he opened with a match-winning hundred at Brisbane, followed with a double in Perth, and sealed with a hundred in Sydney, winning 4-0 with 687 runs at an average of over 137. Three months later came the Cape Town sandpaper affair, and his year-long ban ended up being an absence from Test cricket of 16 months.
What has happened since has been the waste of Smith, the squandering by Cricket Australia of their most extraordinary batting talent since Don Bradman.”
Full article here:
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If you are still catching up on Friday’s happenings, Ali Martin was at the ground and has your back:
Preamble
Good afternoon Australians. Good (very early) morning Britons. We are back at Adelaide Oval for this, day three of the second Test. Well, lightning was England’s player of day two as the elements halted proceedings before the tourists’ already-dented innings took any further hits. A divine intervention, if you will, at 17 for two and trailing by 456 runs. Now they resume, on a mission from god, to save this Test and the series.
The standoff between Cricket Australia and the South Australian health authorities is frankly more fraught than much happening on the pitch right now. And as Pat Cummins watches from isolation back in New South Wales, his side are taking their confidence from bat to ball. England’s circumstances are effectively the inverse of this. The scoreboard is bearing down, Mitchell Starc already has his tail up, Michael Neser has his first Test wicket and Jhye Richardson is looking sharp. That’s before we even get to Nathan Lyon, who likes the pink ball very much indeed.
Word is it’s a little cooler (though still relatively humid) at Adelaide Oval today, which will suit Australia’s bowlers. This wee fact might have been bouncing around that very particular tactical brain belonging to Steve Smith yesterday. While the mercury hovered in the mid-30s the captain had his hosts hunker down with the bat and force England to continue toiling in the field until sunset, at which point he declared at 473 for nine.
That scoreline also had a bit to do with England’s largely one-note attack and some general carelessness. It is difficult to see the tourists making a proper go of this Test but Ben Stokes is still a believer so let’s see what happens. Over to you, Joe Root and Dawid Malan. At the Gabba this pair brought up a 159-run partnership. Can they do it again?
