Match report
Updated
The weather forecast for tomorrow is fine and the last rites have been booked. Get there early, or you might miss it. Thanks for the emails and messages, sorry I haven’t been able to get to them all. Wishing Joe Root an ice bath, and everyone else, a lovely day.
I’ll leave the last word to our Ali in the Adelaide press box:
Media centre Covid outbreak, Root injuring his plums, Warner nearly falling off his seat sneezing, Broad celebrappeal, Smith surviving a personal hat-trick, Buttler fingers, Buttler brilliance, Robinson bowling off-spin in shades ... for a zombie session, it was still lively
— Ali Martin (@Cricket_Ali) December 19, 2021
Stumps: England 82-4 (Stokes 3) need another 386 to win.
What a blow for England in the last over, after a valiant rearguard from Stokes and Root - who was hit twice in the knackers today, once during warm-up, then by Starc. If he’d still been there at the close, there may have been hope. But starting tomorrow with a jittery Pope at the other end? I hope I’m wrong. I fear I’m not.
With the ball, England had a better day, especially in the first hour, and unveiled a surprising hat-trick of twirlers in Root, Malan and the ungainliest 0ff-spinner in history, Ollie Robinson.
.@tjaldred Losing Root in the final over is a real punch to the okay, okay, I'll stop now
— Dr Meghan Purvis (@meghanpurvis) December 19, 2021
Updated
WICKET! Root c Carey b Starc 24 (England 82-4)
Nooooooo! Root fends at a full one, with just four balls left of the day. Smith does a jig of delight and that is stumps!
Updated
43rd over: England 82-3 (Stokes 3, Root 24) Lyon, jumper clad, wheels in as the ground empties around him. Stokes keeps him out. A maiden, one to go till stumps.
“I think Root and Stokes had better up the scoring rate,” chirps Dean Kinsella, “They don’t want to leave too many for Pope and Buttler to get tomorrow evening!”
42nd over: England 82-3 (Stokes 3, Root 24) They take two twos with Root hobbling like a man who has spent a long time in the saddle. Two overs left.
He’s up and running again, and Starc lets him off the hook by sending the next ball wide of off stump.
Not sure if he’ll have to go off here, he’s in agony. He shooes the camera away as the twelfth man holds up a modesty towel and they examine the damage.
Updated
Root’s down... hit in the groin by Starc, how much can one man bear?
Updated
41st over: England 78-3 (Stokes 3, Root 20) England survive Lyon’s penultimate over, with fielders swarming the bat. Three overs left.
In continued support of Rory Burns, Timothy Saunders writes: “If you sent all the Test openers in world cricket in to bat in England in April, facing Jamie Porter, Ben Coad, Tom Bailey and Darren Stevens, I’d back Rory Burns to top score.”
40th over: England 77-3 (Stokes 3, Root 19) Stoke almost gloves a 141kph beauty, then Starc cuts one through him, jack-knifing him at the midrift. An lbw appeal off the last, but it is too high. If England survive this, they deserve a demi-cheers. Four overs remain.
39th over: England 77-3 (Stokes 3, Root 19) Four men surround Stokes as Lyon steps in, he steals a single. Root gets a ripper that turns off the leg, then doesn’t play a shot at the next - jitttttttery. Five overs left.
“Ben Jones’ tweet from over 37 was right,” types Tom VD Gucht. “Sadly, he may also be our best bet as captain too.” He always seems to just rescue himself from being dropped, but I’m not sure that’s enough, unless you’re Mike Brearley. Good captain for Surrey though.
38th over: England 75-3 (Stokes 2, Root 18) Stokes is resolute as Stark again steams in, bowling in a short-sleeved cable-knit as the temperature starts to drop. The concentration is dripping off Stokes who defends and defends and defends. Ah, the television is now saying there are still six overs left in the day.
37th over: England 75-3 (Stokes 2, Root 18) Lyon is back - wicketless but deserving. He’s on the money immediately, beating the outside of Stokes bat, and Stokes steals a single from the last ball of the over. Six overs left
I like this:
Adulthood is stoically realising that Rory Burns is still England's best opening option
— Ben Jones (@benjonescricket) December 19, 2021
36th over: England 74-3 (Stokes 1, Root 18) Starc gets his go as the evening slips away. Dot, Dot, Dot, Dot, Dot, Dot out of the black. Seven overs left.
Tim de Lisle - er why aren’t you in bed - writes: “With Burns making 34, England still have only two players who’ve reached 40 in this series – Root and Malan, twice each.”
35th over: England 74-3 (Stokes 1, Root 18) Root is in the zone. Feet, head, bat. Softly, softly, catchee monkey. Eight overs remaining.
Alan writes from Scotland, with a smug air. “Just to let you know after iinflicting “botch up boris” on us and almost causing us a national heart attack by leading in the Final of Euros,
we cricket loving Scots would like to thank the English cricket team for keeping with tradition & f..sorry “messing “ up ... from DAY 1 of an Ashes Series in Australia.
“This means the long Christmas weekend- “ the crucial third test” - will able a selection boxish period of pleasure & delight as not only will we Scots be able to dip regularly into the Guardian’s OBO reports for a feast of falling wickets we will also be nourshed by the comments of Engerlans exasperated supporters !
“So players & fans keep up the good work we are loving !!
Poor Root .however he has just confirmed what most people thought... the only English cricket player with any ...”
Alan, do you have no mercy?
34th over: England 72-3 (Stokes 0, Root 17) Green, an overgrown teddy bear with a killer streak, runs from the shadows into the light. Root picks up a couple but is content to play back the rest of the over.
“Morning Tanya from a misty Yorkshire,” taps Alex Gerrard.
“I don’t want to be Eeyore, but at 70-3 it seems that England’s chances of winning this one are now less than 50-50. Hope I’m wrong.”
In Root we hope. Nine overs left today.
33rd over: England 70-3 (Stokes 0, Root 15) Found it! Stokes plays out another maiden.
32nd over: England 70-3 (Stokes 0, Root 15) A maiden for Green, who beats Root with a beauty that anchors him in the crease. I must run and find my charger.
31st over: England 70-3 (Stokes 0, Root 15) Beautiful, testing, bowling. The high point for England early in the over when Root drives with pizazz to pick up three. A shame for Burns who had worked hard to get himself in. Now Stokes comes in blind under lights.
WICKET! Burns c Smith b Richardson 34 (England 70-3)
That was coming....Richardson had beaten Burns earlier in the over, as he squirted one just wide of the slips. This time he catches the outside edge, where Smith redeems himself by picking up a low neat catch in the slips. A brave rearguard by Burns, but again, not enough.
Updated
30th over: England 63-2 (Burns 30, Root 12) Green takes his giant steps back to the top of his run-up and zips a bouncer over the ducking Burns. A tricky maiden.
Guy Hornsby’s reasons to be cheerful:
Today's small victories:
— Guy Hornsby (@GuyHornsby) December 19, 2021
- No one's got out to a brainless shot yet
- Batters actually trying to stick around
- Malan's first Test wicket is Marnus
- Robinson's off spin
- Burns passed 30
- Almost the 5th day
- Over rates
- Errrr
This is where we are now England 😄 #Ashes
29th over: England 63-2 (Burns 30, Root 12) Lyon gets a break and Smith brings on Richardson. Joe Root has nudged past Alastair Cook with the most runs as England captain, average just below 50. A glance at the list reminds me that Gooch averaged 58! as captain. Incredible. A nice maiden from Richardson to start.
Updated
28th over: England 63-2 (Burns 30, Root 12) Root cuts Green’s first ball to the boundary with celestial ease.
“It’s frustrating that the Aussies aeem to have so many strong and fit fast bowlers like Starc whilst England’s always seem to end up getting injured,” ponders Tom VD Gucht. “ It reminds me of Bugsy Malone when Dapper Dan keeps beating Fat Sam due to his battery of splurge guns against the pies Fat Sam serves up.When Fat Sam tries to make his own splurge gun, it ends up blowing up in his face and taking out Knuckles. Perhaps, Silverwood needs to take a move from Bugsy’s playbook and round up an army of down-and-outs (including a young Dexter Fletcher) to defeat them.”
Updated
27th over: England 57-2 (Burns 30, Root 6) The artificial shadows are now stretching across the Adelaide pitch like accusatory fingers, as the smell of Christmas tree suddenly wafts over from the corner of my living room. What’s at the top of the OBO tree? Root sweeps Lyon safely to pick up a single and that’s DRINKS!
26th over: England 57-2 (Burns 30, Root 6) Smith duly brings on Cameron Green, the baby-faced assassin. Root pushes him into the off side for a casual run to the safety of the non-striker’s end, leaving Burns to negotiate the rest of the over, including overturning that caught behind decision.
NOT OUT!
Brushes the thigh pad not the bat.
REVIEW: Burns caught behind
Given out on the field but Burns calls for DRS immediately
Updated
25th over: England 56-2 (Burns 30, Root 5) Another fierce over from Lyon, the ball lifting and fizzing and lunging. Burns survives a leading edge.
24th over: England 54-2 (Burns 29, Root 5) Neser flies through another over but in the gully, Root’s nemesis is warming up. In a final plea to stay on, Neser knifes past Root’s outside edge. Beautiful.
“The thought of Merkel on the receiving end of ‘Sir’ Alan Stanford’s pitch has brightened my morning,” types Niall Mullen.
Updated
23rd over: England 52-2 (Burns 29, Root 3) Root has ants in his pants as he gets down on his knee twice in a row to sweep Lyon and misses both times. Enough! The ball is bouncing all over the place.
Updated
22nd over: England 48-2 (Burns 28, Root 1) Root off the mark with a single into the covers. An hour or so left in the day as the sky turns purple above the Adelaide cathedral. Stay in your seats.
Updated
WICKET! Malan lbw Neser 20 (England 48-2)
Not saved by DRS. The ball nipped back and Malan hadn’t advanced much down the pitch. Would have hit the top of middle stump. A pretty but inconsequential 20.
Updated
REVIEW! Malan lbw Neser 20
At first sight, looked pretty out, and the umpire raises the finger... but Malan calls for the DRS
Updated
21st over: England 48-1 (Burns 28, Malan 19) A chance, put down! Malan pushes forward and Lyon brushes the outside edge of the glove but Smith at slip doesn’t seem to pick the ball up clearly and fumbles it to the ground.
Updated
20th over: England 47-1 (Burns 28, Malan 19) A vigorous maiden from Neser, but no cigar.
Updated
19th over: England 47-1 (Burns 28, Malan 19) A Lyon maiden spoilt by a four bounding through backward point as Malan cuts. Tasty shot. Block by block, England build.
Chris Fowler punches the keys on his typewriter hard“Would it be tempting fate to say Burns and Malan look almost comfortable here?” Yes, Tanya, it would. Not just tempting fate, but inviting it out for a bout of fisticuffs, blindfold, in a sewage farm. With a challenge like that, I’d be amazed if England still have any wickets standing at close of play today.
(Over the top? Perhaps. But Fate has to hear it loud and clear, and turn peacefully back to its pint.)
Updated
18th over: England 43-1 (Burns 28, Malan 15) Rory Burns charges into a cut off Neser sending it skidding behind square for four. Luckily he has more confidence in himself than the rest of us do. The camera cuts to a long-view and we see the sun setting ominously.
Updated
17th over: England 39-1 (Burns 24, Malan 15) Malan cuts well, but I can’t help feeling he might come a cropper against Lyon. Here he tries to cut one that beats him. Another quick-fire maiden.
Rick Harris has inside knowledge of the recent trade talks:
“I think you need to understand that part of the recent Trade Deal with Australia was a clause agreeing to let them win the Ashes on their own turf in order to boost their self-esteem as a nation, which otherwise let’s face it would be pretty low. When seen in the proper context England are actually distributing international aid to a developing country.”
16th over: England 39-1 (Burns 24, Malan 15) Michael Neser replaces Mitchell Starc and immediately sends down a maiden.
An email - hello Kim Thonger! “Now that Angela Merkel is no longer Chancellor of Germany, I wonder if she might be persuaded to become England cricket coach? Her man management and political skills are second to none and she could surely absorb the necessary cricketing knowledge in next to no time with her formidable intellectual prowess?” Now, that is a brilliant suggestion. I’d love to see Angela in one of her signature trouser suits cocking an eyebrow at the ECB execs.
15th over: England 39-1 (Burns 24, Malan 15) Malan cuts Lyon’s last ball, pinpoint through the field, for four. And the runs tick over. Would it be tempting fate to say Burns and Malan look almost comfortable here?
14th over: England 34-1 (Burns 23, Malan 11) Starc again with a remodelled field, but still no breakthrough. Feels like time for a bowling change by Australia.
13th over: England 32-1 (Burns 22, Malan 10) Lyon rips past Burns, at slip Steve Smith is laughing. Burns has two close fielders either side of the wicket, crouching, waiting as Burns bobs about. Great over and another maiden.
12th over: England 32-1 (Burns 22, Malan 10) Malan plays and misses outside off stump. In slow motion, we see him close his eyes in frustration. A maiden from Starc.
11th over: England 32-1 (Burns 22, Malan 10) Malan leans onto the back foot, and cuts Lyon, confidently for four. Late and luscious.
“Morning from Spain Tanya.” Good morning Dave Langlois
Drastic measures but involving only two team changes, three if you count Root. First, bring in Bairstow as wicket keeper and number six instead of Buttler. Second, bring in Morgan instead of Pope. I know, I know, its yonks since he’s played red-ball cricket never mind test cricket But he averages 30 in tests compared to Buttler’s 33 and Pope’s 31, so no great difference there. And the runs his captaincy would win (by encouraging his own team and outthinking the enemy) would be countless. He would also come to the crease with a credit of 20 runs to start because Root, relieved of captaincy pressures, would be averaging 60 something instead of 40 something.”
Nice idea, but I don’t actually think Morgan likes Test cricket.
Updated
10th over: England 27-1 (Burns 22, Malan 5) Starc again, he’s a menacing spectacle sprinting out of the shadows, far more physically imposing than England’s bowlers. England survive, picking off runs here and there.
“Aside from the ritual awfulness,” writes Andrew Moore, “what is it about Ashes cricket in Australia? We’ve had several tight series in England, but struggling to think of a competitive series over the last 40 years. Even the two England won weren’t close. I blame the atrocious beer.” Good point! Though Australia and India managed an absolute cracker earlier this year.
9th over: England 24-1 (Burns 20, Malan 4) Ah, Nathan Lyon, we’ve been expecting you. Burns quick-steps down to meet him on the half volley and flicks Lyon’s second ball through mid-wicket for four. The next beats him; Burns comes out to meet the next in a strange kind of square dance. Ooof, this is looking tricky.
Updated
“Was Joe batting in the nets without a box?” asks Nick in Dorset. “I’m astounded if so. First cricket lesson you ever learn at Primary school.
Metaphor for the shambles this latest tour has become.
No doubt Joe will ‘learn the lessons and move on’. (If he can)!!”
This is a little beyond my knowledge base, but I think it was just throwdowns. Anyway, we’re back on....
Optimism with your cornflakes, from Ian Wilson: “Morning Tanya from rainy Turkey. So England just need 2 centurions and 4 guys to get a fifty each and a comfortable win by 3 wickets sometime after tea tomorrow, is it asking to much when the first 7 batsman after Hameed, have all scored a test match hundred, plus Broad at number 10, or am I just being over optimistic?”
Shall we leave that question hanging?
Time for a bowl of muesli, as the light dawns on a misty December morning in England. Some of the spare Australian squad are running out on the pitch as the light dims over beautiful Adelaide. Maybe this might brighten English hearts - Tim points out the last time England survived 134 overs in the fourth innings to secure the draw.
Tea: England 20-1, need 448 to win
8th over: England 20-1 (Burns 16, Malan 4) Cameron Green is astonishing in the gully. How can such a big man be so nimble? Malan is trapped by a beauty from Richardson, which hits him zip on the knee. He’s jumping though, and Smith decides not to review, and is right. And that, my friends, is tea.
Updated
7th over: England 20-1 (Burns 16, Malan 4) England survive a yes-no-sorry, thanks to the fielder slipping over. Burns cuts Starc uppishly for four. Damn, that was a nice shot.
“Dear Tanya.” Hello Vanessa in Eastbourne!
“ABC commentary through the night was mildly mocking. Then they put on Kim Hughes, the stereotypical Aussie bloke from the 1980s. The horror! Guffawing, making lewd “jokes”, boasting....
We don’t deserve this, do we?”
Ewww! I have always had a soft spot for Hughes after reading Christian Ryan’s brilliant book Golden Boy, but glad I slept through that!
6th over: England 16-1 (Burns 12, Malan 4) Richardson bustles in, energy fizzing from every steps. Burns dabs him down the ground nicely and with remarkable confidence.
“Hi Tanya.” Morning Colum Fordham! “Desperately trying to find a positive twist to England’s performance. I think I’ve come up with one: Dawid Malan for Man of the Match for the Touring team. After a superb 80, England suddenly realise they have a competent leggie in their team when over 400 runs behind on a turner and he duly takes his first test match wicket with loop (or ‘tadge’ if you will). He then flays his first ball for a glorious cover drive. It’s a no-brainer.”
I agree! What did Ed Smith know?
5th over: England 7-1 (Burns 9, Malan 4) Malan is hit on the thigh pad first ball, the fourth zips through him. The natural shadows have almost covered the pitch and out of the corner of my eye, the floodlights are on.
Updated
4th over: England 7-1 (Burns 8, Malan 4) This is the first time in the series that Hameed has been out before Burns, so the first time Burns and Malan have batted together. Off his first ball, Malan drives Richardson through the covers with the richness of a slice of Christmas cake.
Updated
3rd over: England 7-1 (Burns 7, Malan 0) Burns survives a thriller from Starc, picking up three through square leg off the last ball. A horror stat for you:
That was the 13th duck by an English opener in men's Tests this year.
— hypocaust (@_hypocaust) December 19, 2021
England's previous worst for that stat was seven, in both 1986 and 1998.#Ashes
2nd over: England 4-1 (Burns 4, Malan 0) Oh dear.
WICKET! Hameed c Carey b Richardson 0 (England 4-1)
A brutish ball from Richardson and Hameed doesn’t have an answer, the ball flying from the outside of his gloves into Carey’s . He could have left it. Hameed walks off the pitch, his head bowed the entire way.
Updated
1st over: England 4-0 (Burns 4, Hameed 0) With three slips and a gully licking their lips in anticipation, Starc charges in and Burns leaves the first ball. The second screams past the outside edge. Burns, face smeared with suncream, sends the third off his hips and away to the boundary. The fourth, squares him up again. He leaves the fifth and the sixth bounces awkwardly and Burns jabs it away. And breathe.
It looks like Rory Burns is going to face the first ball. The horror! The horror!
England need 468 to win.
On the outfield the Australian bowlers are looking tall and menacing, as Burns and Hameed bump gloves and march into the lion’s den.
WICKET! Richardson c Buttler b Malan 8 (Australia 230-9 declared)
The ball after smoking a six, Richardson top edges and Buttler, this time, holds on. And that is the declaration with a lead of 467 and 45 minutes till tea.
60th over: Australia 219-8 (Green 29, Richardson 1) Thanks Tim, go and enjoy some well-deserved zzzzzs. Australia plough on despite the regular loss of wickets: waiting for... twilight?
WICKET! Starc c Pope b Root 19 (Australia 216-8)
Do or die from Starc sees him toe-ending the ball high but into the hands of Pope on the boundary.
Drinks: Aussies still batting
59th over: Australia 214-7 (Green 27, Starc 17) Starc can’t be too bad or he’d have retired to get some treatment before the declaration comes. Meanwhile Malan is still on, but he’s now being milked. Australia lead by 451. Why they are still out there, I’m not sure – maybe they’re terrified of Stokes, though the target he chased at Headingley was 360, not 450.
And that’s drinks, so I’ll leave you in the sparkling hands of Tanya Aldred. Thanks for your company and correspondence. I’ll be back this time tomorrow, if England last that long.
58th over: Australia 207-7 (Green 23, Starc 14) Starc seems to have hurt himself – he’s holding his back. But he’s well enough to hit Root for six, the first of the whole innings, swung over midwicket.
57th over: Australia 196-7 (Green 20, Starc 6) Starc, facing Malan, is beginning to warm up – two, one, one, with one ball going for three byes as it spits and Buttler turns his back on it.
56th over: Australia 189-7 (Green 20, Starc 2) Green cuts the first ball of this over for three, threatening carnage, but Root recovers well and keeps Starc quiet. In pink-ball Tests, Root is almost a frontline bowler.
55th over: Australia 185-7 (Green 17, Starc 1) Another decent over from Malan, but surely Starc will soon wield the long handle.
And here’s Tom van der Gucht, with a short history of English coaches. “England’s woes seem to follow a similar pattern,” he says, “whereby we try a likeable English-born county coach, only to bin them off for a steelier international coach with a clearer vision who goes on to secure an era-defining achievement. Bumble made way for Fletcher who won us the Ashes and rebuilt the template for the England team (though, in all fairness, Bumble had wanted central contracts too). Peter Moores then made way for Andy Flower and England became the world T20 and Test champions. Moores then made way (again) for Trevor Bayliss who landed the World Cup. I guess what I’m wondering, is who’s the next coach going to be and what will their era-defining achievement be once Silverwood is binned off after the Ashes?” Ha. Great analysis, except that Bayliss isn’t steely – he’s an old softie.
Updated
54th over: Australia 180-7 (Green 12, Starc 0) So we have two part-time spinners bowling at the same time, and each of them has a wicket. Root’s tender parts must be feeling a little less tender.
Wicket! Carey b Root 6 (Australia 180-7)
Another one! To another part-time spinner! Carey tries to cut Root but succeeds only in chopping onto his stumps.
53rd over: Australia 174-6 (Carey 1, Green 12) Malan is being congratulated by the commentators on the loop in his trajectory, or as they put it, his tradge. He has one for six, and it’s a big one – Labuschagne, the most consistent batter in the world.
Wicket! Labuschagne c Stokes b Malan 51 (Australia 173-6)
Malan!! Getting his first Test wicket as Labuschagne fails to get hold of a slog sweep and gives Stokes a much easier catch than the last one. It won’t make any difference, but it’s put a big smile on the face of the normally deadpan Malan.
52nd over: Australia 171-5 (Labuschagne 50, Green 11) The Aussies are now doing so much better that even Cameron Green has reached double figures.
Fifty to Labuschagne!
Labuschagne tucks Robinson into the gap on the leg side, helps himself to two and reaches yet another Test fifty. He’s gone from strokeless to remorseless.
51st over: Australia 166-5 (Labuschagne 48, Green 8) Well here’s a surprise – Dawid Malan to bowl his part-time leg-spin. And he does well, finding some turn and not handing out any freebies. But bringing him on is an admission that England were wrong to leave Matt Parkinson, a proper leggie, out of their squad. They even left him out of the Lions’ game against Australia A. The thinking hasn’t been close to joined-up.
Australia lead by 400
50th over: Australia 163-5 (Labuschagne 46, Green 7) A hard-run two from Green off Robinson takes Australia’s lead to 400. Not even Stokes can save England now.
That wonder catch, by the way, gave Robinson his seventh wicket in the series, so he’s top equal with Nathan Lyon, Mitchell Starc and Pat Cummins, who took as many wickets in one Test as the others have in two.
49th over: Australia 157-5 (Labuschagne 44, Green 4) A better over from Woakes, who reels off five dots after letting Green clip his first ball for two. As the commentators note, Woakes is better against the right-handers, but he’s having an ineffectual series (three for 228) and if he keeps his place in Melbourne, it will be for his batting.
48th over: Australia 155-5 (Labuschagne 44, Green 2) Labuschagne, who couldn’t hit the ball ten yards at the start of the day, is now having a party. He gives Robinson the charge – or, as the Guardian autocorrect wants me to say, the chargrills – and lofts him over mid-on for four.
47th over: Australia 148-5 (Labuschagne 39, Green 1) Cameron Green has been a giant with the ball in this series and a no-hoper with the bat. Facing Woakes, he’s so anxious to get off the mark that he almost runs Labuschagne out first ball. Pope is onto it sharply at backward point but can’t manage a direct hit.
46th over: Australia 144-5 (Labuschagne 35, Green 0) Robinson, as you may have guessed, is not bowling spin any more.
Wicket! Head c Stokes b Robinson 51 (Australia 144-5)
Another stunning catch! From Stokes this time, running round the square-leg boundary and diving to hold onto a hook from Head, six inches off the ground. So Stokes redeems himself and Head departs straight after reaching a superb fifty.
Updated
45th over: Australia 143-4 (Labuschagne 34, Head 51) Stokes is off, after that terrible spell, and Woakes is back. Labuschagne pushes his first ball to backward point for three, and then Head belts a straight drive back past Woakes’s left shoulder for four, before top-edging a pull for two to reach 51 off just 49 balls. Australia’s intent is clear: bat for another hour and a bit, stretch the lead to 450, then give England a torrid time before and after tea.
Joe Root leads England out after the break, still moving stiffly. It must have been a nasty blow.
Interval: Australia flowing again
44th over: Australia 134-4 (Labuschagne 31, Head 45) Now even Broad is leaking runs: a glance for four from Head, an on-drive for three from Labuschagne. And that’s the interval after a session of two halves.
England won the first hour hands-down, despite (or because of) not having their captain on the field. Then Travis Head came in and seized the initiative with the greatest of ease. Australia lead by 371 and England, once again, are high and dry, hoping for a miracle.
Here in London it’s time for a walk round the block in the December darkness. See you in half an hour.
Updated
43rd over: Australia 124-4 (Labuschagne 28, Head 38) More punishment for Stokes, who is pulled for four and flicked for three by Head, then pulled for four by Labuschagne. Someone in there is a near-run-out as Ollie Pope pulls off a fine save and a fast throw, but Stokes, so often England’s saviour, is serving up rubbish here. He has 0-24 off two overs.
Updated
42nd over: Australia 112-4 (Labuschagne 24, Head 30) And here is Broad, but he’s replacing Anderson rather than joining him. Broad beats Labuschagne yet again, but it seems an odd decision to take Anderson off after two overs, unless he’s got a niggle.
An email with steam coming off it. “A tall fast bowler forced to bowl off-spin to improve the over rate while a Test match slips out of England’s grasp,” says Nikhilesh Bhattacharya. “Do we need any more proof of how shambolic this Ashes campaign has been? When do we see Silverwood resigning?” Good question. In the words of the great Jenny Lewis, heads are gonna roll.
Updated
41st over: Australia 111-4 (Labuschagne 24, Head 30) Here is Stokes – not bowling bodyline, thankfully, but still too short. His first two balls are both pulled for a single, and the fifth is pulled for four by Head. In between are two no-balls and a wide, given for height. Stokes the stand-in captain was terrific today, but Stokes the bowler has made an awful start. The fifty partnership came up with that wide – it’s now 56 off 12 overs of brisk counter-attack, led by Head. And England have bowled 20 no-balls in the series, to Australia’s one.
Updated
Missed chance! Labuschagne by Root
40th over: Australia 99-4 (Labuschagne 22, Head 23) Labuschagne is missed by Root at slip. A fine ball from Anderson takes the shoulder of the bat. Root, the only slip, has to launch himself to his right and he doesn’t have the required spring in his step, understandably after going for a scan on that blow to his “abdomen”. No blame for not getting there, but maybe some for being there, if he’s not 100 per cent.
Updated
39th over: Australia 95-4 (Labuschagne 18, Head 23) Robinson is still bowling spin, which is a waste of his immense talent. He goes for six singles as the batters work out that they can milk him. If Stokes isn’t fit to bowl, Broad has to come back on.
38th over: Australia 89-4 (Labuschagne 15, Head 20) Jimmy Anderson is back for a second spell before high tea. He bowls a tight line to Head, tucking him up on middle-and-off, but Head figures this out and rocks back to nick a single to square leg.
“Good morning Tim.” Good morning Kim Thonger. “I think it’s time to ask difficult questions, to think the unthinkable. During the pandemic, has the British government now spent so much money, that it has to find hitherto unimaginable ways to replenish the coffers? Have MI6 recruited key members of the England cricket team, perhaps even all of them, as secret agents, whose task is to lose every game in which they play, allowing the Treasury to place massive anonymous bets on sure-fire losing outcomes? Could you set one of your investigative journalist colleagues on this?”
Updated
37th over: Australia 88-4 (Labuschagne 15, Head 19) Robinson does continue with his off-spin, and according to the stattos he’s getting more drift than any other finger spinner in the world. He hasn’t, though, ever taken a wicket with spin (in 26 overs, according to CricViz). Head plays a cut for two and a push for a single.
36th over: Australia 85-4 (Labuschagne 15, Head 16) The ball is still talking, which is quite an achievement when Labuschagne is out there, burbling away like a bore on a bus. Woakes beats him, not once, not twice, but three times, and then hands him a Christmas gift, a half-volley on leg stump.
Updated
35th over: Australia 81-4 (Labuschagne 11, Head 16) Robinson continues, but there’s a change of bowling – he’s switched to off-spin! His first ball is straight out of the coaching book: line, length, loop, turn. He goes for two singles but that may be it from Robinson the spinner, as Root is back out there. He may have a pain in the groin but there is, as usual, a smile on his face.
Updated
A glimpse of Root
Joe Root is in the building! In his whites, moving a little gingerly but waiting to come onto the field.
Updated
34th over: Australia 79-4 (Labuschagne 10, Head 15) Head makes it three fours in a row, cover-driving Woakes on the up. He likes the shot so much he tries it again, with less timing, so it goes for two, not four. Woakes bites back with an LBW appeal, but the ball was heading over the leg bail. With 15 off 14 balls, Head is threatening to do what he did in Brisbane – grind England into the dust.
Updated
33rd over: Australia 72-4 (Labuschagne 10, Head 8) Labuschagne, facing Robinson, plays and misses yet again, then finally gets a four! With a lovely shot, an on-drive that takes me all the way back to Adelaide in 1991, and Mark Waugh’s hundred on debut. And another one! Suddenly the counter-attack is on.
32nd over: Australia 64-4 (Labuschagne 2, Head 8) Woakes continues and Labuschagne doubles his score with a tuck to fine leg. “I see your second wary little single,” Head says, “and I raise you a whipped pull for my second four.” That takes the lead to 300. Stokes might want to bring himself on, if his knee is up to it.
Smith, by the way, was out in single figures for the first time in 13 Ashes innings – a glittering sequence that goes all the way back to this fixture in 2017-18.
31st over: Australia 59-4 (Labuschagne 1, Head 4) It’s Travis Head’s turn to play and miss, fencing at a ball from Robinson that is short and jagging away towards the slips. The sun is out, the sky is blue, the pitch is three days old, but the ball is doing a bit. Another short ball gets the treatment as Head cuts for four, overtaking Labuschagne with one stroke. And that’s drinks, with England unrecognisably good today, but Australia still in charge of the match and the Ashes.
30th over: Australia 55-4 (Labuschagne 1, Head 0) Woakes beats Labuschagne, who has now faced 33 balls for his 1. He’s Bradman in the first innings of every Test he plays, but he’s mortal in the second.
29th over: Australia 55-4 (Labuschagne 1, Head 0) Robinson dug that one in, it did take the glove, and it was another great catch as Buttler went with his left hand. England only drop the easy ones.
Wicket!! Smith c Buttler b Robinson 6 (Australia 55-4)
Buttler takes another screamer! Down the leg side, off the glove I suspect, and safely pouched by Buttler, diving to his left. It’s been the best of hours, it’s been the worst of hours.
28th over: Australia 55-3 (Labuschagne 1, Smith 6) It’s a double change as Stokes sends for Chris Woakes, who beats Smith outside off. So far today we’ve had ten overs, ten runs and two wickets. And Australia are still well on top – 292 runs ahead.
For the first time today, I’ve managed to read an email. “Tim,” says Gavin Twedily, “thank you for perhaps the best Guardian preamble (in all sports) I’ve ever read.” Too kind! “It’s downhill from here. The end is nigh. Best wishes world.” Ha.
27th over: Australia 54-3 (Labuschagne 1, Smith 5) England’s stand-in captain turns out to be Ben Stokes – maybe the armband was handed to Buttler, and he dropped it. He makes his first change, giving Anderson a breather and bringing on Ollie Robinson. He keeps it tight too, going for just a single as Smith tucks behind square.
26th over: Australia 53-3 (Labuschagne 1, Smith 4) So Broad gets a go at Labuschagne. England would love to see the back of him, just to be free of his mannerisms. This is another maiden, but not very threatening.
25th over: Australia 53-3 (Labuschagne 1, Smith 4) Anderson to Labuschagne, and it’s not a maiden! After four more dots, Labuschagne dabs into the leg side to move to 1 off 17 balls. Smith’s been out there so long he’s calling for a new pair of gloves.
24th over: Australia 52-3 (Labuschagne 0, Smith 4) A maiden from Broad to Smith, who is again beaten outside off. Australia’s score today is 7-2. It’s almost as if England have finally turned up, and warmed up.
Updated
23rd over: Australia 52-3 (Labuschagne 0, Smith 4) Anderson finally makes Labuschagne play, bringing one back in on middle-and-off, and drawing a tentative prod. That ball was clocked at 138kph, or 86mph. And then Anderson hits Labuschagne – in the midriff, I think (and that’s not a euphemism). These two elderly seamers are rolling back the years.
22nd over: Australia 52-3 (Labuschagne 0, Smith 4) Broad is still pitching it up, and to prove it he’s driven for the first four of the day by Smith. Broad strikes back straight away, staying full and beating Smith outside off. England have been a different team today. I hope Root is well enough to be watching the telly.
21st over: Australia 48-3 (Labuschagne 0, Smith 0) England’s old men did that by pitching it up – 1.1 metres further up than yesterday, according to Shane Warne on commentary. In this over, though, they go some of the way back to square one. Anderson is sharp but a touch short and wide, and Marnus Labuschagne is able to leave all six deliveries.
Updated
20th over: Australia 48-3 (Labuschagne 0, Smith 0) So we’ve had a run-out chance, a rattle of the timbers, a great catch, a dropped catch and a near-LBW. And that’s just the first two overs.
Review! For LBW against Smith
Broad thumps the pad and wheels into one of his celebrappeals, not even looking at the umpire – bad move. It’s not given and it’s umpire’s call on impact, so not out.
Updated
Dropped! Smith, first ball, by Buttler
OMG. Another tough chance, and this time he can’t hold on, low to his right. A big escape for Steve Smith.
Wicket!! Harris c Buttler b Broad 23 (Australia 48-3)
One brings two! Broad finds the edge and Jos Buttler is back in business, hurling himself to his left to take his second great catch of the match (he may have dropped a couple too). And he is believed to be the captain at the moment. It’s all happening.
Updated
Wicket! Neser b Anderson 3 (Australia 48-2)
Through the gate! Anderson barely celebrates, as it’s only the nightwatchman, but it’s better than nothing. And, for once, Australia have lost two wickets before reaching 50.
Updated
18th over: Australia 48-1 (Harris 23, Neser 3) Broad is fuller and faster than he sometimes at the start of a spell. And the first ball almost produces a wicket! Michael Neser drove it into the covers, where Haseeb Hameed swooped and pulled off a direct hit at the striker’s end. Marcus Harris, flat out, just made his ground. England have a new plan: getting ’em in run-outs.
Updated
The players are out there and Stuart Broad has the ball.
Man down! And it's Root
A statement from the England camp. “Joe Root will not be on the field at the start of play today after being hit in the abdomen during throw downs in the warm-up before play. He is currently being assessed by the England medical team.” We can only wish him well and hope it’s not serious.
Abdomen, hmmm... sounds like a euphemism. Will Macpherson, once of the OBO, now on the Evening Standard, spells it out on Twitter: “I think he’s taken one to the knackers.”
Need to catch up on yesterday? Geoff Lemon had this to say about the Green-Root moment:
Member of media tests positive
This from AAP:
Cricket Australia is in the midst of another Covid-19 scare after a broadcast crew member at Adelaide Oval for the second Ashes Test tested positive to the virus.
Just days after Australian captain Pat Cummins was ruled out of the Test after being deemed a close contact, officials had another issue to deal with on Sunday.
It’s believed the person who tested positive is a member of a radio crew, with both the BBC and ABC – who share some staff – considering whether they can cover the match from the ground on day four.
“We have been advised that a member of a broadcast crew has returned a positive Covid result as part of their scheduled testing,” Adelaide Oval said in a tweet. “SA Health are aware and we have begun to trace and notify this person’s close contacts.”
Media do talk with players when interviewing, however they have been asked to social distance from them this week.
Media have also been asked to wear masks during the Test, while the large section who arrived from NSW and Victoria were tested on touching down and again on the sixth day of their stay.
Officials were confident on Sunday that the positive case would not have any impact on the players or match.
We have been advised that a member of a broadcast crew has returned a positive COVID result as part of their scheduled testing.
— Adelaide Oval (@TheAdelaideOval) December 19, 2021
SA Health are aware and we have begun to trace and notify this person’s close contacts…
[1/2]
Preamble
Morning everyone, or afternoon everyone. All over England, the theatres are closing their doors – but don’t worry, there’s one show that must go on: the long-running farce known as England’s Test team. It has had a bumper year, delighting audiences in New Zealand, India and Australia, as well as in England, where people secretly love having something to moan about, and the football team are threatening to let the nation down by becoming consistently adequate.
The gods of sport, always keen on an upset, decided to make this match a handicap. They gave Australia two big disadvantages – an injury to rule out the world’s No.4 bowler, and a Covid ping to take out the world No.1. They even handed the captaincy back to someone who’d lost it in disgrace (there’s hope for Tim Paine yet). They did all they could, short of telling Marnus Labuschagne he had to shut up. And still the Aussies have walked all over England.
They piled up 473, decided that was enough, let loose their makeshift attack, and allowed England to make only half as many. The role of Pat Cummins was filled, effortlessly, by Mitchell Starc; the role of Josh Hazlewood by Cameron Green, of all people. The role of Nathan Lyon, which had been grabbed by an impostor for a few months, reverted to its rightful owner on the final day of the first Test. In this one, he’s taken great pleasure in showing England how wrong they were to spurn their specialist spinners.
Only two things can stop Australia going 2-0 up. One is the weather – there was a fair bit of rain forecast today, but only in the morning, so it seems unlikely to make much difference unless it’s been held up by the Covid protocols.
The other is a doughty rearguard action of the kind that was once England’s stock in trade. The last time we saw one of those was Cardiff in 2009, the time before that Johannesburg in 1995. It would be manna from heaven for England fans now, but it doesn’t seem very likely. And if Australia’s batters were over-cautious last night, they could afford to be.
Do join me at 2.30pm Adelaide time (4am in the UK) to see if this familiar tale can produce any kind of twist.
