But just as I’m about to sign out, I notice this email from Rich Naylor, so let’s give the last word to him:
“I agree with the previous pedants that it’s not tautology, but my memory of secondary school English says it’s not an oxymoron either.
An oxymoron is the juxtaposition of two seemingly contradictory words; e.g. like the ‘terrible beauty’ in the famous Yeats poem - Easter 1916. There’s nothing necessarily contradictory about a delivery being ‘nondescript’ (which, according to Google means ‘lacking distinctive or interesting features or characteristics’). Off the top of my head I’m not sure what linguistic anomaly you’ve stumbled into - no doubt someone will know before the start of tomorrow’s play.”
Join us then for more thrills and spills!
And here’s a report of the day’s play:
Aha, here’s Geoff Lemon on David Warner:
“How on EARTH did England only complete 84 overs, even with the extra time?” wonders Vincent Schumacher. “Is that 10+ overs short? What a disgrace. The ICC clearly need to do more, as apparently the docking of WTC points isn’t enough. Fielder off the pitch on the next day for however many overs short you were?”
That’d do me , and I’d make it the captain too. I guess we need some flexibility because stuff happens – Head getting hit, for example – but England’s effort today is a joke.
England’s three main quicks all did well today – the problem is that Stokes hasn’t played in time, and you can’t do anything in a Test if you’re skittled for 147 on day one.
“A warm one, Ollie Robinson tells Glenn McGrath. He said he feels ok and just went off for a “bit of maintenance”. He also says that on a different day, England would’ve taken more wickets and enjoyed the bounce, which is useful for a tall guy. Headingley, he reckons, is England’s nearest comparator, then goes onto say he thought he was going to get Warner every over, adding that he left some but played plenty more he could’ve left. I’m not sure I’d be revealing that, but either way, he bowled really well today.
“You cannot talk about ducks without mentioning this song,” emails Rowan Sweeney. “Essential listening.
I know Travis Head has just scored a Test-match ton, but has he ever got both contact lenses into an eight-year-old’s eyes, first go? I am now waving the box while accepting the acclaim of the crowd.
Updated
“In further three-root-tooth news,” emails Colum Farrelly, “I can report I had one removed just yesterday. Apparently the stages of the procedure are graded as Boring, Interesting, Exciting, Swearing, which is a lot like cricket really. Despite my being only 65, the tooth fairy did not come.”
I’m imagining it decorated with pictures of England’s cherubic yet beleagured captain.
“I don’t know what’s worse from an English perspective,” says Brian Withington. “The state of the game or listening to the inane commentary from Warne et al about a declaration this evening?”
I didn’t even bother reporting it, because it seemed so odd. Why would they not force the bowlers through more spells, while increasing the scoreboard pressure?
David Warner tells us he got lucky getting dismissed off a no ball, but says he’s happy with his patience and how he left balls – though it’s Travis Head’s day. he also notes that England were relentless, and that’s true, they bolwed well until they tired, but Stokes getting hurt killed them, likewise the lack of a high-class spinner.
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Close of play: Australia 343-7 and lead England by 196
84th over: Australia 343-7 (Head 112, Starc 10) In bounds Wood again, and after Head twizzles him around the corner for three, he finds a bit of shape to whack Starc on the pad; there’s an appeal but it’s outside the line, and Starc inside-edges his next ball, but diving to his right, Buttler can’t hang on. That would’ve been a brilliant grab, it really would, though on the other hand that’s what he’s there for. Two further dots follow, and that is the end of the day. Despite an extra hour, England have managed just 84 overs, which is a total piece of nonsense, but Travis Heed won’t mind: he’s batted absolutely brilliantly, taking his team out of sight – they lead by 196 – in the grand style.
“Can’t one of England’s crocked bowlers walk into a door frame en route to the treatment table?” wonders Gary Naylor. “There’s a handy concussion sub raring to go.” The mere thought of the fall-out is going to carry me through until tomorrow.
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83rd over: Australia 340-7 (Head 109, Starc 10) Head has recovered, pulling Woakes’ first ball for two, then flicking his third into the on side for one.
“Much-needed pedantry,” begins John Swan. “Allow me to be the 749th person to point out that that description of a ‘nondescript delivery’ (over 66) isn’t tautology, it’s an oxymoron. My pleasure. Also,could you fix the scorecard please? It says England were rolled for next to nothing and Australia are now miles ahead, which can’t be right, surely.”
I can almost hear my mates in the surrounding desks crowing “Shaaaaaaame!” at me while waggling their hands. Meanwhile, my English-teacher old fella cringes in embarrassment.
And heres’s Andrew Tatham: “You got me thinking when you described ‘nondescript’ as ‘tautology’ - isn’t it more an oxymoron, as it’s not saying what it is twice? I was holding off from this until you said ‘the OBO is nowt without pedantry’, so you only have yourself to blame. Thank you for the non-nondescript description of what’s going on at the Gabba.”
Ha! Consider me telt! But do we have an answer to the question: is calling something nondescript oxymoron, given nondescript is a description?
82nd over: Australia 337-7 (Head 106, Starc 10) Goodness me, Wood unleashes an accidental beamah and it crunches into Travis’ head; a replay shows itflicked off the glove before ramming him punkt in the phizog. He goes down, but he’ll be OK, and when he gets up he’ll still be an Ashes ton to the good, but with a tale of bravery to accompany his runs. Wood rushes over the check he’s fine, and in the studio, Harmy notes that something like that can be as difficult for the bowler as the batter, who doesn’t want to let go of the ball for fear of hurting someone. Yup, the next delivery is a yorkah, then Head gets down the other end via single and Starc edges four through backward point, wide of Malan’s dive, beofre Wood raps the pad but outside the line.
“Crispy duck is a popular delicacy here in Bali,” tweets Rob Wolf Petersen. “Losing a leg and getting deep fried is a pretty comprehensive way to depart, so I think the comparison’s apt. Delicious, too, albeit not for the duck.”
Travis Head reaches his century!
81st over: Australia 331-7 (Head 105, Starc 6) Woakes takes the second new ball and Head leaves his loosener, then steps down the ground to drive the four that raises a ton. He doesn’t run, but hollers, mouth wide open, then hollers again, all the work, worry, pain and rejection released in a single glorious moment of relief! What a moment and what a knock, off 85 balls too and taking his team out of sight, and he envelops Mitchell Starc in a monstrous hug. Well expletive batted young man, well expletive batted. Next ball, he takes a single to get down the other end and ponder his achievement, but three to Starc, drives through point, forces him to take strike again, and he forces through gully for three more. He’ll want to make it a daddy now, with the lead at 184.
80th over: Australia 320-7 (Head 97, Starc 3) Head takes two to extra, then misses a pull and Burns shells the catch; Root thinks it’s a drop, but looking at the replay, I think it was arm. Two singles follow, and the lead is a mighty 173.
“For the rest of us cricket-playing nations,” emails Sandile Xaso on Johannesburg, “it’s hilarious to see both these sides (but especially England) downplay or diminish every other test series against higher class opponents at the altar of ‘the Ashes’. This isn’t a very high standard of cricket and I struggle to see how this is the pinnacle of anything but English insularity. Head giving us a good session to enjoy now though.”
I agrree, these sides aren’t great, but sport is about needle, history and identity as well as quality – and didn’t England wallop South Africa, in South Africa, not that long ago?
79th over: Australia 317-7 (Head 94, Starc 3) Here comes Stokes again and Head cuts then Starc pulls, both for one, before Hesd takes on Hameed, who misses again – though this time, even with a hit the batter was home. The new meteroite is due the over after next; I guess Woakes will take it, and Wood will probably have to, though he looked wiped.
78th over: Australia 315-7 (Head 93, Starc 2) The sun has gone behind a cloud, but it doesn’t look like any rain will be forthcoming. Runs are though, a two and a three to Head, who looks set for a ton; at the end of the over, Robinson comes back on, which is good news for England because he looked hurt during his last over.
“I had a tooth removed on Tuesday,” says Tom van der Gucht. “It was a bloody nightmare as they found it had three roots rather than the usual two (which is apparently a sign of having residual neanderthal DNA) and I took it as a sign that Root would lead England to win three Tests. Looks like its a sign that he’s only going to score three runs in this test - if we’re lucky.”
Funnily enough, it was just last week that we read the story of Joseph in synagogue, so my dream interpretation skills are in sync, allowing me to reveal that if England had three Roots, they’d still lose.
77th over: Australia 308-7 (Head 87, Starc 1) Stokes continues his right-arm masochism, the over yielding a single to each batter.
For those of you just waking up, or for anyone fancing a precis of the day’s play:
- Robinson gets England away with an early wicket, dismissing Harris for 3.
- Warner and Labuschagne dig in for half-centuries before the latter is caught and bowled for 74.
- Warner lives a charmed life – Burns drops a catch and Hameed falters, among other near-wickets – before finally falling six runs short of a century.
– Robinson dismisses Warner and Green in consecutive balls.
- Australia’s lower order look to consolidate in the final hour of play.
WICKET! Cummins c Hameed b Root 12 (Australia 306-7)
But he absolutely nails it! OK, he doesn’t, but Cummins glances a piece of leg-side nonsense around the corner, where Hameed takes a smart, low snaffle. England barely have the energy or inclination to celebrate.
76th over: Australia 306-6 (Head 86, Cummins 12) Root has no option but to hand himself the ball, like the gabbai volunteeering to leyn Mattot-Massei. Apologies, that’s so niche, even for me, that it requires an explanation: a gabbai runs synagogue services, and Mattot-Massei is the hardest Torah-reading in the book.
“Ruthless from the Australian team,” says David Bertam. “Is there an alternative to Leach to block up an end?”
Er, Bricks, mortar and cement?
Updated
75th over: Australia 289-6 (Head 82, Cummins 9) Absolutely finished, England return to Stokes, whose knee-knack has Warne describing him as ginger every other sentence. Tell you what though, his hairjob is a proper advertisement for the industry, and is, I hope, offering solance when Head lamps him down the ground for four, then top-edges four more over the top of slip. This is a matchwinning innings, and the lead is now a totally unmanageable 152.
74th over: Australia 289-6 (Head 73, Cummins 9) Oh dear, England have nothing left so Leach continues, and after Cummins adds two and one, Head twinkles down the track and absolutely schmeisses a straight six! Then, both improbably and probably, it gets better and worse, Head chancing one to Stokes, whose return leaps off the pitch, misses Buttler, and adds four buzzers for a five. That’s 15 off the over and the lead is 142, pretty useless for anyone English unless they’re trying to get from Bushey to Brent Cross.
“Good Tyne and Weary gag,” emails my colleague Martin Farrer, “but Wood is from Ashington, which is in Northumberland, in case you want to head off pedants.”
I wondered if I’d be pulled up on that one, but as we know, the OBO is nowt without pedantry.
73rd over: Australia 274-6 (Head 61, Cummins 6) Eeesh, Root brings Robinson on and his first ball is a tired ball. In comms, Warnie notes that he needs to bowl a bit quicker a bit more consistently, especially l`ate in the day – mid-130s and he’s a serious proposition, 120s and he can be seen off. Well, his loosener is 114 and he’s fighting to get himself into this – he looks in trouble, and does well to escape with just two scored off the over, Cummins flicking to square leg.
“Other candidates for first ball dismissal in the Ashes,” emails Brian Withington:
“Plum Duck
Stuffed Duck
Duck and Cover (for Cold War fans)
Gabba The Duck (for the Star Wars brigade).”
Talking of late in the day, let’s appreciate the most underrated band of the Britpop era.
72nd over: Australia 272-6 (Head 61, Cummins 4) Leach continues, and after a single to each batter Head heaves a long-hop around the corner and fielding in the shadows, Hameed doesn’t pick it up. The ball drops short, but if he’s running in he catches that, and to rub things in, a piece of leg-side filth yields four more; Leach is 1-80 off 10 and England are ragged now. How do they keep powder dry for the new globule without finding themselves 529 runs behind?
I’m not certain what the rules are as regards profanity, so to ensure I don’t get the knock from T.H.E. Man, i shall say thaty Alistair Asquith nominates Expletive-a-duck which is probably my favourite so far.
71st over: Australia 262-6 (Head 52, Cummins 3) Head’s batted really well here, taking the game away from England, and when Wood overpitches, he clatters him for four through cover. I think Wood will disappear after this over – he’s looking pretty Tyne and Weary – but a single gives him four balls at Cummins. Can he dregdge something out of the deepest recesses of his soul? Well, there’s a boomp-ah and a pretty well-directed one too, forcing the batter to take cover, then one arrowed full into the stumps squares yerman up, and he edges into the ground. He’s given it everything, but you can’t get rolled for 147 and expect to compete, ctrl C, ctrl V.
“A Muscovy Duck?” asks Rob Savage. “Pretty ugly duck the Muscovy.”
70th over: Australia 257-6 (Head 47, Cummins 3) England finally get Cummins on strike at the start of an over, and Root introduces Leach, so Cummins gets forward to his first ball then clouts his second for three over extra; clearly, they’ve planned to whack him out of the attack. And there are four more, Head advancing so Leach drops short, and the eventuating edge races to the fence; a single follows.
“I would have thought a Roast Duck with Extra Stuffing,” says Sam of a first ball of an Ashes series dismissal. “A bit wordy, but I like its accuracy.”
69th over: Australia 249-6 (Head 42, Cummins 0) In comms, Brett Lee says that bowling short stuff is like bowling one and half balls in terms of effort, so Wood won’t want to pepper the batters at this point; well, he might now Head’s down low and flaying a fuller, wide one through point for four. That takes the lead up to 100, then Head guides his final delivery towards cover for two, and England are going to need something monstrous in their second innings to avoid defeat. It’s the way I tell em.
68th over: Australia 243-6 (Head 36, Cummins 0) I’m still trying to think of a phrase to describe a wicket with the first ball of an Ashes series; ultimate duck is descriptive, but I also like shredded duck and daffy duck. Anyroad, Root continues and Head takes two behind square on the off side, then just as England are hoping to get Wood an over at Cummins, he easily takes a single down the ground.
67th over: Australia 240-6 (Head 33, Cummins 0) Yup, England get Wood, who’s good for another burst and goes around to Head; I imagine this’ll be the last we see of him before the second new ball, which I hope he takes. Thing is, Australia could be another 30 in front by then, in which case it might also take the game away – but if it’s close there’ll be fireworks. And as I type that, Head leaps, plays and misses, wearing one on the back elbow, turns away the final delivery for a single, and calls to the dressing room for attention. That’s drinks, Australia’s lead 93.
66th over: Australia 239-6 (Head 32, Cummins 0) The lead is 89 as Root begins his second over, then Head, who’s nicely settled now, cuts his first delivery for three; they’re the only runs from the over.
65th over: Australia 236-6 (Head 29, Cummins 0) England do love to taunt us, do they not, making like they’re going to compete, but that’s a wicket maiden in the Gabba below.
WICKET! Carey c Pope b Woakes 12 (Australia 236-6)
A nondescript ball from Woakes, if describing something as nondescript isn’t tautology, which Carey hauls around himself from off, picking out Pope at midwicket!
65th over: Australia 236-5 (Head 29, Carey 12) In a way, blogging through the night is the best way to sleep during an overseas Ashes, because it means you’re not lying in bed with headphones on, constantly waking up to disaster but feeling like you can’t legitimately have a kip during the day but excuse me while I interrupt myself!
64th over: Australia 236-5 (Head 29, Carey 12) Joe Root invites himself to daven bowl, wjich makes sense given two lefties at the wicket, but after his first five balls yield just a single to Carey, he overpitches and Head swings through the line, zetzing six down the ground. The lead is 89, and this partnerships is taking the game away from England, to the extent they didn’t take it away from themselves. Obviously the batting is the issue, but it’s also the case that only two of their bowlers are seriously threatening wickets.
63rd over: Australia 229-5 (Head 23, Carey 11) Woakes isn’t giving anything away but he’s not really threatening and England need wickets; the ball that’s pitched up a little more elicits a false stroke from Head, who fences a single after Carey pushes one, then Carey hauls over the top for three and this is getting away from England again. Ultimately, you can’t get rolled for 147 and expect to be involved in a Test match.
You know what to do, people.
@unitedrewind Morning Daniel
— Jason Strelitz (@strelitz_jason) December 9, 2021
lying awake in my quarantine hotel at Heathrow following OBO - I was caught out in Malawi and have been raising money for the work out there doing a car park marathon
Wonder if you’d share something through OBOhttps://t.co/EVLOF4rIVw pic.twitter.com/xwTTrboVLL
62nd over: Australia 224-5 (Head 22, Carey 7) Yet again, Stokes is going to flog himself for the cause, and he’s not quite right on his front foot so Head hauls him to the square-leg fence for four, then cuts him to point for four more. England can’t afford this – big overs or Head to settle – but they know that this is their time, so it makes sense to turn to their magic man. It’s not worked though, because when he serves one up on the hip, Head forces it off, an from deep backward square, Leach chugs around the fence, dives, saves the four, then throws the ball into himself and cedes the four. I daresay he’ll be hearing from the crowd at this juncture.
61st over: Australia 212-5 (Head 10, Carey 7) Woakes continues over the wicket, but with two lefties you wonder if at some point he might try around; I’d also like to see Wood and Robinson trying to slant them in and cramp the batters, because if they don’t try something now, this match will be gawn. Another maiden for Woakes.
“Certainly us Aussies can be a parochial bunch, no denying that,” says Tom. “That said Ricky Ponting is just about the best commentator I’ve ever come across in any code. The hardest part about tuning into the cricket so far has been the utterly tone deaf soundtrack provided by the barmy army. If I have to hear you are my sunshine one more goddamn time...”
Agree with all of that, though long-time readers will know that I do have a soft spot for the Barmy army singing Jerusalem, then applauding themselves.
60th over: Australia 212-5 (Head 10, Carey 7) Robinson charges in again and after three dots, Carey gets himself off the mark in Test cricket, a front-foot drive for four punishing a slightly overpitched delivery. And he adds three more next ball, knocking through mid off, before Head turns for through midwicket. Eleven off the over, taking Australia’s lead to 65.
“Somethiing Flintoffian about the laddish swagger of Robinson,” says W McGonagall. “Looks like he lifts the side with character and performance. There is a callow and febrile belly to this Australian batting that hides behind a) its stars and b) the noisier discussion about England’s batting weaknesses.”
Agreed in the second aspect – there’s not much batting in the middle order, though the tail isn’t bad. Otherwise, I’m not sure whether Robinson has Flintoff’s competitive charisma, or if he’s just really good.
59th over: Australia 201-5 (Head 6, Carey 0) It’s Woakes, who beats Head outside off and receives the rich reward of a nod; that’s one to tell the grandkids. In the field, Ben Stokes is making like he’s going to bowl, which has me wincing in my north London box-room, and that’s a maiden. This is terrific stuff, and it’s not too much to say that this Test – and in a way, perhaps even the series – might be set over the next hour or so.
58th over: Australia 201-5 (Head 6, Carey 0) Five slips and a gully for Robinson, so of course Head edges through the gap between them, and the ball scuttles away for four, then another edge – admittedly played with soft hands – drops short of Pope at five. This is intense, intensifying stuff now, every ball an event – this is why we’re here, people – and Head tries to leave instead guiding short of two. A single to midwicket follows, and Joe Root has a decision to make – does he trust a spinner, either Leach or himself, or does he toss Woakes the ball.
57th over: Australia 196-5 (Head 1, Carey 0) Obviously at least two of Starc, Cummins and Hazelwood will make fifties, but in the meantime, let’s bask in the fact that for an hour at least, we’ve got ourselves a series. In decades to come, we’ll look back on it with great fondness, which is more than can be said of the individual who’s run onto the park; where’s Sam Kerr when you need her? Maiden to Wood; how long can England keep him going?
“The BBC doesn’t have international rights this time,” emails Yaseer Mahomed. “But Sydney Radio doesn’t have rights blocking on.” And in similar vein, Daniel says “In answer to Quinton’s question, you can download the SEN app to listen to the cricket from overseas, I’ve been using it today in Seoul. But get ready for some parochial Aussie commentary...”
Is there any other kind? Anwyay, great stuff – thanks a lot.
56th over: Australia 196-5 (Head 1, Carey 0) A leg bye follows, then a dot, and that’s a double-wicket maiden, or is that a double-wicket-maiden, for Robinson. He is good at cricket.
Updated
56th over: Australia 195-5 (Head 1, Carey 0) Robinson’s hat-trick ball is full and straight, but Carey digs it out well. Still, he’d’ve took it.
WICKET! Green b Robinson 0 (Australia 195-5)
Are you trying to seduce me Mr Robinson?! Robinson is on a hatty, and this is a disaster for Cameron Green, who shoulders arms at a bail-trimmer and departs without having played a shot. It’s going to be a long night of the soul for him, but here comes the hat-trick ball....
WICKET! Warner c Stokes b Robinson 94 (England 195-4)
Warner’s luck runs out but that’s brilliant from Robinson, fooling the batter with a slower one; Warner goes to smash him, is through the shot early, and finds Stokes at mid off, who dives forward and hangs on! That’s why he’s still out there, but more importantly, do we got ourselves a ball-game? Do we got ourselves a series?!
Updated
55th over: Australia 195-3 (Warner 95, Head 1) Warnie’s back on comms and tells us that during the interval, Ben Stokes was investigating whether or not he could bowl; he could not. That’s a shame, because England could seriously use his ability to plough through 824 uninterrupted overs while making something happen. As Warne also notes, he’s probably only still out there because he can’t bat tillas many overs as he was off for have elapsed - and I daresay England also want to retain one of their few safe pairs of hands. Meantime, Wood continues and beats Head’s cross-bat outside off, then Head nurdles a leg-side one off the square to get off the mark and Warner takes a single too.
Off we go again, Australia leading by 46 with seven first-innings wickets intact.
“How do I listen to live radio commentary in Hong Kong?” wonders Quentin Burrows. The link isn’t on the BBC site where it was during the English summer, so if someone can help our brother out, please do.
Email! “Morning, Daniel” begins Ian, Copestake. “Thanks for seeing us through the dark hours. A pavement stomping would also at this point be like a birthday present.”
American History X meets Withnail and I, what a mash-up that is.
And while England are in Australia, enjoy an Australian in England by way of the brilliant Sam Kerr.
Some reading for your break: an interview with John Morris, reflecting on the Tiger Moth escapade, English cricket’s famed sense of humour, and how the stuff peripheral to sport is as important as the sport itself.
54th over: Australia 193-3 (Warner 94, Head 0) The wicket came off the last ball of the over, so England don’t get to go at Head – though if this is the last one before tea, he’ll have 20 minutes to think about being on nought. Meantime, Warner looks to turn away to leg and instead edges four through backward point – this has been a phenomenally spawny knock. In comms, they want Robinson to come around, he doesn’t, and that is tea.
Updated
WICKET! Smith c Buttler b Wood 12 (Australia 189-3)
Now then! Wood again goes wide, Smith gets on tippy-toes to leap eithout moving feet, lazily hanging out a bat, and he feathers behind! Wood earned that, though it was a curiously skittish innings from Smith, and might England somehow turn a kicking into a mere beating?
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53rd over: Australia 189-2 (Warner 90, Smith 12) I guess with tea coming up in 10, these two can stick about for a burst afterwards ... er, if they want to, Wood skipping wide of the crease in his delivery stride and following-through as Smith clatters through mid off for four.
52nd over: Australia 185-2 (Warner 90, Smith 8) Yup, respite for Australia: Robinson replaces Leach, and his first delivery beats Warner outside off. In comms, they note that he’s a good bowler, able to make the ball go either way off the seam, but lacks the yorker that “Your Garners and your Ambroses” are able to deploy. Meantime, we see a shot of someone in the crowd dressed as a crusader. Lovely, lovely stuff. Maiden.
“It appears that Smithy is going to trust being enveloped in Warner’s luck bubble,” says Yum. “Warner be like ‘don’t worry buddy, there’s plenty for both of us’.” They doing everything together, these.
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51st over: Australia 185-2 (Warner 90, Smith 8) Smith pinches a single to Malan, who sprawls to stop and hurls at the non-striker’s; he’s got time too, so silly is the risk, but he misses by aeons. We then watch a replay of the review-yielding ball “I think that’s good, me” says Wood, and Buttler adds that he doesn’t think it’s high.
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REVIEW! NOT OUT!
It pitched outside off, so we don’t even get to see it missing on height and width.
51st over: Australia 183-2 (Warner 89, Smith 7) Wood hurtles in, wallops the back pad, there’s an appeal, a refusal, and England review! Looked hopeful to me, high and missing, but Wood liked it...
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50th over: Australia 183-2 (Warner 89, Smith 7) Leach has a leg slip and an onside field, looking to bowl straight and stop Australia scoring while hoping for an error; good luck, old mate. And shonuff, Warner humps his second delivery to the square leg fence for a one-bounce four – clever clever, all part of the plan or something. I’m not sure why England don’t go at it now, because if Smith settles they’re absolutely jiggered, while there’s not loads of batting after this partnership. Meantime, Smith comes down and slices a hoik miles from his body but away from the fielders, and they run three. I wonder if we’ll see Robinson coming back for a burst.
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49th over: Australia 175-2 (Warner 84, Smith 4) Root immediately replaces Woakes with Wood, who’s been England’s best bowler so far. His loosener is a short one, Warner leaping to play it down into the pitch, then after his second ball we see Burns’ ponytail poking out the back of his cap and I’m just not sure he’s earned that look. On the other hand, he has earned the chase he has to make when Warner eases a square drive for four and a single follows.
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48th over: Australia 170-2 (Warner 79, Smith 4) Smith has a look at leach, playing him in circumspect manner ... for one ball, before advancing down the track before ball so much as leaves hand, inside-edging through midwicket for four. Leach has Australia on the ropes! He’s done well to hang in there because he’ll have known the plan was to hit him out of the attack, and he’ll have known why it was the plan too.
Updated
WICKET! Labuschagne c Wood b Leach 74 (Australia 166-2)
Ahahahahahahaha! A touch of turn away and a little bit more bounce as Labuschagne steps away to cart Leach square, disrespect seeping through every pore of his very being – and picks out Wood at point! He will be spewing and rightly so.
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48th over: Australia 166-1 (Warner 79, Labuschagne 74) “The pain is piled on England!” hollers the commentary box as Marnus advances and mows Leach over wide long-on for six; in the crowd, someone belly-flops over the row seeking the catch, but can’t quite get there. Leach is under big pressure now, but he buys them. At Harrods.
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47th over: Australia 160-1 (Warner 79, Labuschagne 68) Warner drives down the ground for two and Stokes sets off in ginger pursuit; he’s not in great shape. Then Warner tries to remove his bat from one and instead bunts into the ground “He’s making 200,” says Warnie, who’s extremely taken with the luck yerman has enjoyed so far. Another brace follows, and that’s the 150 partnership.
“Regarding all the ballyhoo about how many no-balls Stokes had already delivered until *that* one was singled out etc,” emails Sankaran Krishna. “Here is my take: if Dennis Lillee, Michael Holding, Richard Hadlee and Kapil Dev could take over a thousand test wickets between them while hardly ever bowling a no-ball in their careers, just stop bowling no-balls already. Just. stop. End of the matter.”
I’m not sure it’s as simple as that: chancdes are we’re hotter on calling then now than then. But yeah, I look at it like I like at corners hitting the first man in football: if they were rewarded with corporal punishment, there’d be fewer of them.
46th over: Australia 156-1 (Warner 77, Labuschagne 68) Warner’s no mug, and won’t be confused by the Gilo variation: the one that goes straight on versus the one that doesn’t turn. So after a single to Labuschagne hands him the strike, he swats over square leg fo fo. Another single follows, and England are just so England.
45th over: Australia 150-1 (Warner 70, Labuschagne 67) Warner sends Woakes to long leg, where Crawley, on as sub, slides into a decent stop; they run two, and Australia take the lead. It’s the way I tell em. OK, hands up - it’s the way English cricket tells em. I see it as a Biggus Dickus situation: that simple gag that’s so perfect it’s hilarious every single time you see it. Four off the over, and I guess Australia declare about this time tomorrow, then have things done by tea on day four.
44th over: Australia 146-1 (Warner 67, Labuschagne 66) In comms, Alastair Cook watches a replay of that Burns dropped catch, noting that it’s exactly where you want it as a slipper, one side of the hip, also saying it’s the worst feeling in cricket. Unsaid in parentheses: if you’ve never been out – bowled around your legs! – first ball of an Ashes series. Yesterday, the great Rob Smyth and I were musing that if first ball of an innings is a golden duck and first ball of a match is a diamond duck, then perhaps first ball of a series is a platinum duck and first ball of an Ashes series is an ultimate duck. the Aussie scorecards of our youth featured a cartoon duck quacking, but on those occasions, it needs to also give the finger, or some kind of Nescafé handshake. Back in the middle, the batters are back on the milk, Labuschagne taking a two and one while Warner adds two singles off Leach. The partnership is 136.
And that’s drinks. Let’s be real, England’s fielders could use a livener.
43rd over: Australia 141-1 (Warner 65, Labuschagne 63) Thanks Sam and hello, hello everyone. It’s good to be back, good to be back. It’s actually quite cunning of England to deliberately spurn wicket-taking opportunities, given SPD Smith is in next; always one step ahead. Meantime, Woakes beats Labuschagne with a wibble-seamer that nips away – it’s been a long afternoon, and it’s older wobble-brother has long since turned it in. Maiden.
Updated
That’s me for the first half of the day, the excellent Daniel Harris will take over now. Been lots of fun, thanks for joining.
42nd over: Australia 141-1 (Warner 65, Labuschagne 63)
Leach is back. Three sweepers on the leg side. How do Australia play it? Monster him or milk him? Warner then dances and drives him nicely, inside out, wide of mid off but it’s cut off. He gets one. Marnus is on strike. He dances at him too and belts it past Leach, but mid-off on the proverbial circle stops it. It’s a single. Warner then tries to reverse sweep Leach. Gerard Whateley describes it as “highly contemptuous batting”. He’s not far off. Leach escapes with two from the over.
41st over: Australia 139-1 (Warner 64, Labuschagne 62)
Labuschagne is content to absorb Woakes, before Woakes is too straight and Marnus whips him through leg past midwicket for two. The next is even further to leg and Marnus clips him crisply, and uppishly, past a flying leg gully for four. Labuschagne grimaces at the risk, but he hit it well and takes the reward.
Can't believe we're only three and a bit sessions of actual cricket played into the series. Feels like it's been a lifetime already.#Ashes
— Yas Rana (@Yas_Wisden) December 9, 2021
40th over: Australia 133-1 (Warner 64, Labuschagne 56)
Robinson almost beats Labuschagne on the inside of his bat but Marnus gets there, closing his bat face and getting one in front of square. Finally Warner gets to the other end. And he takes advantage almost immediately, launching a drive through cover for four. It was all hands and flourish, sliced through the off side. He leaves the last ball of the over.
39th over: Australia 128-1 (Warner 60, Labuschagne 55)
Woakes is back, relieving Wood. Warner has survived him, for now. Before the over starts there’s a ground invader, and about eight million security guards swarm the ground. The invader always seems faster. So Woakes continues the ‘no width’ theory to Warner, who is trying to squeeze him behind point early. Everything stays tight, Warner defends them all, and Woakes begins with a maiden.
From Angus Reoch:
“Hey Sam,
Glad to have the comforting sound of cricket and trumpets here in my Canberra office...
Not surprising we’ve been discussing Marxism given C. L. R. James’ influence on cricket commentary. All we need is a pithy tagline - Bowling the Bourgeoisie? Beyond a (Class) Boundary?
Wonder what Adorno would make of all this...
Yours in theory,
Angus”
38th over: Australia 128-1 (Warner 60, Labuschagne 55)
Robinson and Labuschagne continue in the battle for off-bail. It’s surprising Labuschagne hasn’t attempted to rotate the strike as much this session, perhaps due to Robinson’s accuracy. It carries on for the whole over again, and it’s another maiden.
Missed run out, dropped catch, wicket off a no-ball - half a chance England could have Warner 10 down by the close
— Ben Jones (@benjonescricket) December 9, 2021
37th over: Australia 128-1 (Warner 60, Labuschagne 55)
Wood bounces Warner again, and Warner takes his eye off the ball. He is very rushed and is trying to pre-empt it. He’s leg side of the ball, and hopping. Here is where he’ll try and get off strike, and hope to survive Wood’s spell. Wood’s in at the ribs again - Warner jumps and defends behind point. This is a good spell for England - Robinson and Wood have bowled well together. Warner now gives himself some room and cuts from the stumps behind point for four. Canny stuff from the experienced opener. And then there’s a near run-out! Hameed is at short leg, Warner flicks out a yorker, he takes off, Hameed stops it, Warner attempts to dive back into his crease but can’t stretch enough! He lets go of the bat, he’s short of the crease, and it’s essentially a FREE SHOT at the stumps from 5 metres and Hameed misses! Warner crawls back and puts his hand over the crease. Hameed has his head in his hands. It all happened quickly, Hameed wouldn’t have known Warner couldn’t reach. Nevertheless, Warner survives again.
Kieran Brady writes:
“Watching in from New Zealand, as you can imagine I usually back england in the ashes. However it must be said from watching it live now the england first innings was very much below par even with the extra movement yesterday and a serious gulf in class between the two top orders is very noticeable. This is not a one game short term issue.”
Not unreasonable analysis at this point.
36th over: Australia 123-1 (Warner 56, Labuschagne 55)
A slower start to this session, in contrast to the last session’s quick finish. Robinson is probing Labuschagne’s off and fourth stump, and Marnus is so far equal to the task. Whereas Wood to Warner is a circus of fast balls and a flailing bat, this is a clinic in straight lines and off-bail precision. We’ve just seen another no-ball on replay, not called either. Robinson finishes with one that whizzes past off stump, and Labuschagne leaves it well. Sums up the battle.
35th over: Australia 123-1 (Warner 56, Labuschagne 55)
Wood is angling in to Labuschagne, who trusts his judgment around off stump and is leaving on both line and length. Wood stays wide of the crease and just strays onto Marnus’ hip, and turns him around the corner for one. They’ve just struggled to sustain their pressure, England, though this is partly owing to both batters’ skill.
Warner is on strike now and is hooking Wood right in front of his face, eyes down, not entirely comfortable. But it’s off the middle and it’s four. Wood is now full and Warner is beaten. He really looks a bit quick for Warner, who is living dangerously.
Updated
34th over: Australia 118-1 (Warner 52, Labuschagne 54)
Robinson is on the money yet again, he really is due a reward soon. He’s angling it away from Warner who is trying to get forward but can’t. It’s another maiden for Robinson.
Updated
Fifty for David Warner!
He’s had some luck but looked busy throughout. He took down Leach and will now, as they say, want to “go big”. (Who wouldn’t want to go big?”
33rd over: Australia 115-1 (Warner 49, Labuschagne 54)
It’s Wood here. Warner is flustered, as he has been throughout his time facing Wood. He waves the bat outside off at one mid way through the over. He’s playing from the crease, swaying, tucking, evading. It’s very quick for him. Nevertheless he bunts one through the off side for three to end the over, and brings up his fifty.
Confirmation from Gabba match officials that the tech for monitoring all no-balls has been down for the entire match. They have reverted to old playing conditions, leaving no-balls up to the standing umpires, who can refer individual deliveries to the broadcaster on request.
— Geoff Lemon Sport (@GeoffLemonSport) December 9, 2021
32nd over: Australia 115-1 (Warner 49, Labuschagne 54)
Ollie Robinson has first crack - will be curious to see how he manages his third, fourth and fifth spells today. The accuracy is exceptional, so is the skill, but the pace is down. Labuschagne clips one wide of mid on for one, bringing Warner on strike. He beats Warner straight away. The movement doesn’t seem as violent as earlier this morning - but it was enough. Now Warner edges and he’s dropped at second slip by Rory Burns! It was a sitter! Mid-range, to his left, it cannoned into his wrist. Oh dear. That’s a killer, just after lunch. End of the over, an excellent one, but again unrewarded.
Seems Ben Stokes is okay. England have confirmed to a few media outlets his left knee is fine and he’s good to go. We’re nearly underway here.
A few queries about the weather. The Bureau of Meteorology is suggesting a shower or two with a possible storm. I’d imagine this would come through in the afternoon or evening, as tends to be the way in Brisbane.
I thought they largely bowled well to Warner, who seemed up against it until Leach came on.
Hads reckons the Poms missed a trick not bowling around the wicket to David Warner in the first session today. #Ashes #TripleMRocksCricket pic.twitter.com/WX50pWrbjM
— Triple M Cricket (@triplemcricket) December 9, 2021
Ed Cowan is right here. Labuschagne’s innings thus far has been an exercise in the construction of an innings. He defended skilfully to begin with, was patient, summed up the game situation, and has gradually applied pressure as he’s become accustomed to the wicket, and sensed the right moments to strike. He’s 51 not out and looking set.
Have the last 90 mins on repeat kids - this is a Marnus masterclass on how to construct an innings. Technique, game sense, skill.
— Ed Cowan (@eddiecowan) December 9, 2021
🥰❤️
LUNCH: Australia 113-1 (Warner 49, Labuschagne 53)
Australia’s session convincingly, though they rode their luck and survived good bowling in the first hour. Harris was removed by the impressive Robinson, who worked over Warner and Labuschagne in each of his spells. While Woakes seemed unable to settle on a length, his team-mates Wood and Robinson were lively and dangerous throughout, as as number of edges fell short or didn’t go to hand. Warner and Labuschagne remained busy and commendably rotated the strike throughout, never permitting a sustained period of bowling at one batsman, while managing to capitalise on the occasional overpitched delivery as England searched for swing.
Stokes’ entrance brought immediate drama, as he twice found Warner’s edge before castling his stumps, only for Warner (and the rest of us) to learn that Stokes had overstepped. It soon emerged that Stokes had been consistently overstepping, and had not been pulled up. Given these processes and the technology had been arranged and settled on this some time ago, disappointing barely covers it.
Stokes remained dangerous but a baking sun and growing familiarity saw Warner and Labuschagne settle in. One wayward Stokes over signalled a shift in momentum, and if that didn’t, the introduction of Leach completely altered the tone of the match. To that point the session may have been described as a willing armwrestle on a helpful pitch, however three Leach overs later and it appears we’re looking at something more akin to a procession. The blueprint of taking down the spinner was effected perfectly, as Warner and Labuschagne confidently deposited Leach into the seats and sightscreen on multiple occasions. He was hauled off, but the damage done. Stokes managed to hurt his leg trying to save a boundary, and all eyes will be on assessing its seriousness. it didn’t look good.
The upshot is that an extended session has seen Australia establish a healthy partnership, the wicket is hardening, they have two set batsmen who average over fifty at home, Leach has been manhandled, and Ben Stokes may be injured. There will be howls for Jimmy Anderson and Stuart Broad. Perhaps they may have found the edge, perhaps not. To this scribe, the gap feels larger regardless.
31st over: Australia 113-1 (Warner 49, Labuschagne 53)
Leach is taken out of the attack, Wood returns for the last over. Chris Rogers says “that’s not much of a vote of confidence in him”. Leach is 0/31 off 3, how does he come back? Huge win for Australia there. Meanwhile Wood is attacking Labuschagne with back of a length bowling in at the ribs. He still looks lively. Marnus takes a single to cover. There’s two to go, Warner on strike. He rips one past him from around the wicket, what a ball. Angling in. Straightening. Wood has had it over Warner this morning. The final ball is strange, Warner pre-empts a duck/sway but it’s full and Warner waves his bat at a square drive, middles it, and gets two for his trouble. That’s lunch.
30th over: Australia 110-1 (Warner 47, Labuschagne 52)
Labuschagne cuts Woakes for four to bring up his fifty, and - I’m sorry England - there are concerns for Ben Stokes’ leg here. He looks like he’s struggling, and may have hurt his left knee trying to haul the ball in from the rope. He’s walking around, cameras are fixed on him. He’s grimacing and wincing. Let’s hope he’s okay. Warner defends the remainder of the over. There’s one left before lunch.
Australian cricket's attitude towards slow left-arm bowling summed up about 15 minutes at the Gabba.
— Daniel Cherny 📰 (@DanielCherny) December 9, 2021
Fifty for Marnus Labuschagne!
He cuts Woakes for four and beats Warner to fifty. He defended with grit, and has cut loose upon Leach’s entrance. His 7th half century in Australia - he averages 74 here (courtesy of Adam Collins on SEN).
29th over: Australia 105-1 (Warner 47, Labuschagne 47)
Leach is back and Marnus is slapping him again through the offside, chest on, room, and its through cover for three. Tremendous pressure on Leach. Warner on strike now. There are three men out on the on-side, possibly one on the off, too (I can’t quite see). Warner is down the track but can’t beat mid off. He then paddles him around the corner but it’s only one. If it wasn’t obvious, both bats are very much looking to attack Leach, sensing a weakness. Now Labuschagne hoists him over wide mid-on for six. He danced at it, got it easily, and he has a six of his own. The next is smashed back at Leach but he somehow gets something on it. No run. The next and Marnus pummels it to Stokes at mid off but he misfields - it was hit so hard - and he just hauls it in, in front of the rope. He’s limping. Could be a result of the ball striking him, soft-tissue. Left-knee. It’s a bit of a demolition here. Another huge over.
28th over: Australia 92-1 (Warner 46, Labuschagne 35)
Australia asserting themselves in this extended session now. It’s hot, the shackles have broken, and there’s still a few overs until lunch. Oh no, third ball, Woakes is a little wide but it completely dies off the pitch, bounces in front of - and past - Buttler and scurries away for four byes. Woakes is back on a good line and length afterwards, a good leave from Warner. Buttler has completely missed it though - it cannons into his leg, strange. Warner tries to wallop the next through the off-side, loosely, but misses. It’s the end of the over. Feeling a little ominous for England.
27th over: Australia 88-1 (Warner 46, Labuschagne 35)
First ball and Warner lofts Leach straight back over his head for six! The take down is on. It was a controlled shot, one step down the wicket, and hits the sight screen on the full. He misses out on the next one. The third, and it’s six again. This time over mid on. Down the deck, full flourish of the bat, into the stands. His fields are too aggressive - he needs some protection. Does Root change it? He has to. There’s a lull in play while the field is moved. Seems there is a funky short mid-on now. Warner then finds a single on the off-side. Labuschagne then opens up and slaps Leach past cover for four. Huge over for the Aussies.
26th over: Australia 71-1 (Warner 33, Labuschagne 31)
Stokes is taken off, Woakes is back. It’s his third spell, and England will be itching for a wicket. The field seems to be opening up, both batsmen becoming further set. Woakes gets one to leap off a length, it screamed past his gloves and Buttler had to jump to take it well over his head. Once again, like clockwork, Warner gets off strike by tucking one to square leg. Becoming a little easier for the Aussies here.
More on Gamsci from Colum:
“Hi Sam,
Was Gramsci an England fan? This quote seems to suggest he was:
Pessimism of the spirit; optmism of yhe will.
Nite nite from a damp and dreary Naples
Colum Fordham”
25th over: Australia 69-1 (Warner 32, Labuschagne 30)
It is indeed time for Jack Leach, who is on to replace Wood. Huge, huge moment here. I have a sense Australia will try and take Leach down, to bring more overs back into the legs of the quicks. Can Leach lock them in? There’s a slip and a leg slip, interestingly. Labuschagne nonchalantly drives to mid off a few yards back. No run. Marnus then finds one on the leg side, bringing Warner on strike. There’s three on the rope now, plus a short leg, leg slip and slip. Extremely in-out. Warner hammers it back at Leach - a bump ball - ouch! The next is a full toss, Warner can’t put it away. They want to hit him. They don’t, Warner defends. This is a big phase in the game.
Bit of a lull in the action, so it appears Ben Stokes has generously offered to entertain the Richies in the crowd with a bit of breakdancing.
— ABC SPORT (@abcsport) December 9, 2021
Crowd-pleaser. 👍 #Ashes
📻 Listen live: https://t.co/v92hgt9NEK
💻 Live blog: https://t.co/WSjPW4pO4Y pic.twitter.com/C5FEHw4CR6
24th over: Australia 68-1 (Warner 32, Labuschagne 29)
Stokes is back and is too full, allowing Labuschagne to get forward and punch him through extra cover for three. It brings up the fifty partnership. Gloves are punched. Stokes is then too short and Warner is cutting in front of point, another three. It’s starting to build. Stokes goes too full now and Labuschagne carves him through extra cover for four. Ten from the over already. Unless he takes a wicket, this will surely be Stokes’ last. Three balls remain: how does he respond? With a sensational ball squaring Labuschagne up and beating his outside edge. Root retains three slips - he’s desperate for inroads. Labuschagne pulls the next in front of square but Leach partially cuts it off - there’s a single. Warner defends the last. Feels like Australia found some momentum that over. Wood’s bowled three overs in this spell. How does Root play it? Time for Leach?
23rd over: Australia 57-1 (Warner 29, Labuschagne 21)
Warner is back hopping to Wood, he plays an unconvincing pull where he attempts to help it over the top. But again, Warner gets off strike next ball. Labuschagne defends one before receiving a half-volley on leg stump that Labuschagne picks off for three in front of square. Critical England make inroad before lunch here. Marnus is starting to look solid. Warner is boxing clever but still looks vulnerable.
I’m a fraction late to this but it’s become clear that each of Stokes’ preceding balls leading to his overruled dismissal was a no-ball too.
.@RickyPonting on the no-balls not called #Ashes pic.twitter.com/SYwKTZ93XX
— 7Cricket (@7Cricket) December 9, 2021
22nd over: Australia 50-1 (Warner 26, Labuschagne 18)
It’s Stokes, and two balls in Labuschagne is drawn into a paddle-pull and it falls just short of Ollie Pope, only just! It was agonisingly close. Next ball Labuschagne pulls with more authority over mid-wicket for three. Stokes then pins Warner in the ribs with one that seams back into him. They love cramping him up. Warner then clips Stokes crisply but it can’t get past forward square, so he stays on strike. Warner defends the final ball out to point and it’s the end of the over.
21st over: Australia 46-1 (Warner 25, Labuschagne 15)
Feels like the heat has just come out of England’s bowling. Marnus and Warner a little more assured in leaving and defending - and picking up the odd boundary with over-pitched deliveries. Here Marnus manages Wood, who is angling in at him, short leg in play. Maiden.
Stokes over-stepping instinctively feels a product of preparation limited mainly to nets. Have spent years watching training and front line so often not a consideration for bowlers
— Ali Martin (@Cricket_Ali) December 9, 2021
20th over: Australia 46-1 (Warner 25, Labuschagne 15)
England needs to stay patient here. They’re only a piece of luck or skill or two away from a strong position in the innings. Warner and Labuschagne have ridden their luck so far, but have done well to rotate the strike and avoid too much pressure building. Robinson’s in now and Warner is still leaving. Robinson then changes to come around the wicket - it’s too full, and Warner punches it right out of the middle through cover for four. It had been a frugal period as far as runs were concerned, but this temporarily relieves that. The last one is left, a good over for Warner and Australia.
From Pete Salmon on Gramsci:
“Hi again Sam
Not sure about Gramsci at Fenners, but it seems he did give his opinion on the Hundred:
“The old world is dying, and the new world struggles to be born: now is the time of monsters.”
Cheers
Pete”
Updated
19th over: Australia 42-1 (Warner 21, Labuschagne 15)
Wood’s on now, he was lively last spell. He gets one to scream past Labuschagne’s bat second ball in, a beautiful leg-cutter. It’s up to 150km/hr already. The leg gully is back, though quite square. Wood then delivers one from very wide of the crease, jumping at the last minute. The final ball sneaks underneath Labuschagne’s bat, too quick, but well wide of the stumps. 152 km/hr.
18th over: Australia 42-1 (Warner 21, Labuschagne 15)
It’s Robinson from the other end - he’s looked likely all morning. Sure enough, he curves one past Warner, hitting a sumptuous spot which catches Warner on the crease. We have pictures here of the Barmy Army in full song. Perhaps they sense something. The beers are probably good, too. A wicket does feel near, and they’ll need it as the sun continues to bake the pitch. Robinson hits the splice of Warner’s bat hard to end the over. A maiden.
From Andrew:
“Evening/morning Sam, from cold, dark South London,
I agree with Robert from Paris, I’ve always loved watching the Ashes from the other side of the world, the blast of sunshine is cheering, whatever is going on in the cricket.
I’m going to pick you up on your description of the Warner non-wicket as ‘clean bowled’. it clipped his pad and on to the top of the stumps, I would only say *clean* bowled if the ball is straight through onto the stumps without taking a deflection.
It’s not been a bad session for England so far, but they need wickets soon.”
Thank you, you’re completely right. I missed that - appreciate the pick-up.
17th over: Australia 42-1 (Warner 21, Labuschagne 15)
Stokes continues and starts with a bouncer, which Labuschagne evades. The rest of the over is incongruously uneventful, as Labuschagne either leaves or defends with comfort
Vis a vis Gramsci, Robert contributes:
“Dear Sam,
Bloody Gramsci again! I saw him make a quick 40 against Essex 2ndXI at Fenners back in the days of wine and roses but he had a mouth on him, lacked bottle against the short stuff and had a really weird collection of novelty rubber chickens. I dunno know why he keeps coming up, probably because he was always going out on the razz and bottling punters in rumbles over economic determinism.
I’ve actually read old Tone so I’m allowed to be irritated that so few people seem to understand that the bloke was very clearly from Belfast.
Robert W”
16th over: Australia 41-1 (Warner 21, Labuschagne 15)
Robinson’s back, this will be the last one before drinks. He hits Marnus’ pad first up, but Australia’s number three is leaving on length so no danger. He’s then too straight which allows Labuschagne to tuck him behind square for one, which both bats have done well to counter the otherwise dangerous bowling. Robinson then gets another nick from Warner, it beats Malan at third slip to the left - bounces in front of him - and runs away for four.
That’s drinks.
England deserved another wicket there. They’ve challenged well. Edges haven’t found hands. They need something next hour.
15th over: Australia 36-1 (Warner 17, Labuschagne 14)
It’s Stokes to Labuschagne now, and there’s nearly a run out as Marnus defends in front of Hameed at backward point - a direct hit would have been close. Warner keeps Stokes out for the remainder. He largely cramps him - which seems to be the plan - but Warner survives. There’s a half shout for one that strikes his pad on the last ball, but it pitched well outside leg.
This, from Tom Mitchell:
“Morning,
As soon as that Stokes delivery was not out I went to bed, see you in the morning when they are 300-1
Thanks, Tom from Leeds”
14th over: Australia 34-1 (Warner 17, Labuschagne 13)
Early in the over Woakes delivers a beautifully straightening outswinger, gets Marnus’s edge and it falls just short of Root at first slip. Labuschagne then half scoops/half pulls Woakes over midwicket for three. Not commanding but safe enough. England creating plenty of chances here, neither batter playing with security and organisation - there’s something happening every few balls. They’ll be eyeing drinks. Woakes is then back of a length to Warner who plays it off his toes, before defending the last back to the bowler.
You either love or hate this image...👀
— Fox Cricket (@FoxCricket) December 9, 2021
📺 Watch Day 2 #Ashes on @kayosports: https://t.co/KsGkuGxi6p
📝 Blog: https://t.co/ZBD9Yp41jQ
🔢 Match Centre: https://t.co/pwFJTeuMMT pic.twitter.com/roBDk3xBqb
13th over: Australia 31-1 (Warner 17, Labuschagne 10)
Stokes is brought on. Wood gets a rest. He started well. Stokes’ first delivery elicits decent swing back into Warner, who manages to just access the ball in front of his pad to inside edge one. The next is edged just wide of Malan at third slip and runs away for four! A genuine edge - Warner only half-forward - he’s riding his luck a little. The next, as you’ve already read, bowls him but it’s a no-ball! Warner manages to survive the last few. An eventful over. Trite to say, but Stokes makes things happen. Warner looking shaky.
FYI it’s an extended session which means drinks will be in another 17 minutes at 10.45am Brisbane-time.
Stokes has Warner clean bowled but it’s a no-ball!
Stokes has been all over Warner this over, edges both sides of the bat, and then castles him with a beauty before an enormous no-ball is revealed. Warner survives!
12th over: Australia 26-1 (Warner 13, Labuschagne 10)
Woakes is full and Warner checks it back past him and picks up three. The conversation here is about whether Wood will be given a spell now. I’d keep him on for one more if Warner is on strike, but “short sharp bursts” seems to be the consensus. Meanwhile, Woakes continues to Marnus in a less explosive battle but a similarly even one. Labuschagne seems to have a better grasp of his off stump than he did twenty minutes ago, and he leaves well here. Woakes straightens his line (he has a midwicket) and Marnus defends again. Finally Labuschagne is given one to drive, and he obliges. it’s full outside off and he strokes it through cover for two.
11th over: Australia 21-1 (Warner 10, Labuschagne 8)
Wood has Warner worried here. He’s back of a length, in at the ribs, and as soon as Warner has width, he’s slashing rashly and ineffectually. A third man is brought in for a top edge, but Warner manages to get himself off strike - something he’s done a few times this innings, showing great experience. It brings Labuschagne on strike, who defends to midwicket comfortably. Good tussle between Wood and Warner here. The former is causing him discomfort - Warner is wise to stay away.
Pete writes in: “On Test Match Special they have been talking about Gramsci, Marxism and hegemonic masculinity... feels like a landgrab from OBO. If they get onto Adelaide, Ryan Sidebottom and Radiohead it might become actionable.”
Look I’d venture no one particularly owns conversations on Gramsci, Marxism and hegemonic masculinity, but if the dear readers of the Guardian want to assert its own bona fides here, I’m ready to go!
Updated
10th over: Australia 20-1 (Warner 9, Labuschagne 8)
Root reintroduces Woakes, which concludes a very good first spell from Robinson. Woakes is on the money immediately - I’d hazard a guess he’ll be attempting to stay tight on off-bail this spell, he searched just a little too much in his first spell from this vantage point (a 36 year old man on his computer).
The over continues in much the same vein. Woakes is accurate, and Marnus is happy to defend on the front foot. Marnus considers an ill-judged run on the final delivery, indicating some nerves. Warner sends him back. Consecutive maidens.
You'd hate to bowl at Marnus, wouldn't you. Really good, really weird, really cheeky.
— Will Macpherson (@willis_macp) December 9, 2021
9th over: Australia 20-1 (Warner 9, Labuschagne 8)
Wood is in to Warner and he’s aggressively back foot punching one uppishly and it falls just short of Stokes at a shortish cover. It was a confident shot but the ball seemed to just stop in the wicket. There’s a leg gully for Warner here, too. On comms, Simon Katich posits that the plan is to “push Warner back”, presumably to catch him half-forward when one’s pitched up. Sure enough, the next one is a bumper, the first one of the day. Warner jumps then ducks. It’s 153km/hr and Warner’s reactions give authenticity to it. He’s hopping. Warner tries to find a single in front of point. He can’t. The next one is the full and wide one, Warner flashes! But misses. That’s the plan. High octane over. A lot of energy.
Updated
8th over: Australia 20-1 (Warner 9, Labuschagne 8)
Warner gets off strike early with another scurried single, which brings the scoreless Labuschagne back on strike. Robinson squares him up and a safe, thickish outside edge runs away to the boundary between third slip and gully. Slo-mo’s show a bit of chat between Robinson and Marnus, no doubt a high-brow literary exchange. Robinson is then overpitching and Labuschagne pushes it back past him for four, just beating Stokes’ dive at the rope. Two boundaries in the over, but Robinson will be confident.
Robert Wilson writes in:
“Dear Sam. Speaking from the damp, dark chill of Paris, it’s nice to see a bit of sun today. Yesterday was a cruel disappointment. For us snowed-in, unwashed Europeans, the first session of an Aus Test is often a turbocharged blast of forgotten wellbeing - you can feel the vitamin D seeping through your eyeballs. Yesterday, Brisbane looked as tropical as Cardiff. So I’m glad it’s back to business and my nose is peeling under my woolly hat and earmuffs again.
“I have a question. I love Woakes with a fair amount of hot, moist passion (and always have) but if you have a genuine quick in Wood, why wouldn’t you give him the new, hard nut? It’s weird - and not in a good way.”
G’day Robert, cheers for the note. I think it’s a case of accuracy over speed. They feel Woakes is best deployed to find the edge, which is best achieved with the new ball.
Updated
7th over: Australia 11-1 (Warner 8, Labuschagne 0)
Woakes is off, Wood is on. Positive from Root - thought Woakes struggled to find length so Wood gets his bow. He looks quick already. Warner nudges one in front of point for one. it brings Marnus on strike and Wood is back of a length, with a short leg in. Labuschagne is all jerky and jittery movements, which we’ve come to know. But you would be, Wood is bowling 150+ km/hr.
6th over: Australia 10-1 (Warner 7, Labuschagne 0)
So Robinson gets Harris, and England are off and running. Marnus is in, he’s jumpy and leaving his first while exposing a fair few stumps. He’s forward to the next and the ball screws off his bat to gully. There’s a leg gully in for Marnus, which confirms a plan. The next one is left, and the final one whistles past the off stump, which some would call a “good leave”, perhaps kindly. A great over from Ollie Robinson.
Ollie. Robinson. Forever. Lengths. @sjjperry
— Ross Kettlewell (@RossKettlewell7) December 8, 2021
WICKET! Harris c Malan b Robinson 3 (Australia 10-1)
Robinson gets Harris! It’s on middle and off, Harris is half forward, and he lures him into an edge which is well taken by Malan going low and to his left at 3rd slip. Classic Robinson, and England are away.
Updated
5th over: Australia 10-0 (Warner 7, Harris 3)
Woakes’ first ball is driven handsomely by Warner past mid-off for four. It’s rare for Warner to play a shot and hold the pose, but he did here. A half-volley, searching for swing, and dealt with.
Woakes shortens his length for the next couple, and Warner sways out of the way. He’s still trying to find the right area here Woakes - a tough ask when Warner’s feet are moving well. The final one tucks him up and strikes the thigh pad. Less movement that over - a win for Warner.
Updated
4th over: Australia 6-0 (Warner 3, Harris 3)
Robinson lumbers in; the first half of the over to Warner is either too straight or too wide and are defended comfortably. He then finds his range, challenging Warner in the appropriate corridor, but Warner is able to lean on one which enables a single to mid off.
Harris, who changed his bat mid-over(?), is squared up on the last ball, but survives.
3rd over: Australia 5-0 (Warner 2, Harris 3)
Woakes beats Warner with the first ball with one that swung away quite prodigiously, then follows up with one that comes back in. Warner defends the second well and even looks for a single. Woakes is then too straight and Warner nerdles him wide of mid-on to get off strike.
Harris is on-strike - I’m not sure if this is new but he appears to have developed a little back-and-across hop-step trigger movement. It’s less prominent for the shuffle than it is for the jump. Whatever the case, he leaves the remaining few.
There seems enough movement for an edge. Can England find it?
Updated
2nd over: Australia 4-0 (Warner 1, Harris 3)
It’s Robinson at the other end and he’s beating Harris outside off immediately. Perfect length, perfect shape. Harris is inside the line of it but that’s exactly where Robinson will want to stay. The second is in the same spot - it takes the outside half of Harris’s blade, neither forward nor back. England have three slips and a gully, and Robinson beats Harris again. The Australian opener is playing down the line but this is encouraging for the Ashes debutant. The only gripe? it’s slow: high 120s at this point. It’s a maiden to finish, an excellent start for Robinson.
1st over: Australia 4-0 (Warner 1, Harris 3)
First ball, Warner pushes it into a gap at cover and hares off, he’s home safe, Stokes shies at the stumps and it strikes Warner, but no harm done. So Warner’s busy early. It’s Harris next, and he’s on the back foot to Woakes who’s a fraction short, though the carry looks good. Woakes adjusts, pitches up, and Harris drives through cover for two. The final ball is overpitched and Harris pushes it to cover for another run.
The players are out there. It looks sunny, excellent for batting, the Queensland-coloured seats are popping. I expect Australia to assess the pitch, and if true enough, to counterpunch. Woakes is at the top of his mark...
Updated
An early start today, we’re underway in two minutes. Some messages coming in:
Conor writes: “Hi Sam, felt a Christmas eve-like excitement last night and decided to pull an all-nighter with my assignments and BT sport open side by side. Booked a study space in the silent study room, and was practically bouncing in my seat for the first ball. No word of a lie that I let out an expletive that came from the depths of my soul. My whole life this last three months has been one big head tilt into the offside. My hopes, dreams, eudemonic wellbeing all came undone in the space of one leg stump half volley. “how good”. Not very.”
I’m sorry brother.
And Brendan via Twitter: “It may be a sunny warm morning perfect for batting, but England have 2 bowlers with a total of over 1100 test wickets, in their squad. That levels it up surely...oh wait.Robinson has to have a miracle innings today.”
There’s a fair bit of consternation over the omissions of both Anderson and Broad. I was of the same view as Pat Cummins (why wouldn’t you be at this point?) that I expected they’d pick one. But I thought the selections were positive and proactive. We’ll soon find out if they were, and retroactively adjust our opinions accordingly.
Prominent Australian broadcaster Gerard Whateley is grilling CA CEO Nick Hockley on-air before play for SEN Radio. Though he doesn’t elicit much. A crass summary as I see it:
Where will the fifth Test be played? Still thinking about it.
Did the Prime Minister’s intervention in favour of Hobart carry any weight? Yes it’s a prestigious Test, isn’t it?
Are you happy with how CA handled the Tim Paine controversy? I respect Tim.
Will you reconsider David Warner’s leadership ban? No one has raised it with us.
And here’s Barney Ronay on Josh Hazlewood...
While you wait (and contemplate the inherent fairness of cricketing conditions), here are a couple of typically excellent pieces following yesterday’s events. This was Geoff capturing the vibe inside the Gabba...
More weather talk. It’s important to gather more than one source - here is our colleague Geoff Lemon on the ground in Brisbane.
England supporters: it has dawned clear and blue in Brisbane this morning for Australia’s first batting innings. #Ashes
— Geoff Lemon Sport (@GeoffLemonSport) December 8, 2021
Hmm...looks friendly overhead.
Obviously. pic.twitter.com/ofWu3Bn7Ju
— Henry Moeran (@henrymoeranBBC) December 8, 2021
Preamble
Good morning, afternoon, evening everyone,
Wherever you land in the Ashes divide, yesterday was nothing short of visceral. A day of explosion and drama, unevenly distributed. After rolling England for 147 on a green one with cloud overhead, it feels much of Australia already senses a drubbing in the offing. Of course, this is how we do things here, building then riding the wave momentum – slightly confected – feeding the stereotype of a snarling Australian unit manhandling a feeble England outfit on a dangerous Gabba wicket. All of a sudden, the omission of Anderson and Broad is conflated with a poor batting display – all of it endemic of a touring party for whom “the wheels have fallen off”. And so on.
All of this before England has had a chance to bowl. Ultimately, Australia assuredly exploited some favourable conditions yesterday, and England will have its chance today. The series is essentially two sessions old, and chest-out Australians are only ever a problem or two away from trouble. All eyes will be on Woakes and Robinson, the favoured seam-up metronomes who’ll be counted on to match the unerring lines, lengths and angles of Cummins and Starc. For all the noise and pageantry yesterday, it was the relentlessness of the skipper and former vice that wrought the damage. Should Woakes and Robinson be able to do similar, with catches held, England will wrestle their way back in. No doubt Australia will be brighter and bolder with the bat, so the margins already feel small.
I’ve not done this round for a little while, so be gentle. Would love your thoughts, contributions and threats at sam.perry.freelance@theguardian.com, or on the Twitter machine @sjjperry.
Going to grab some news on the weather, it appears … sunny.
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