T20 Blast quarter-final report
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Play has been abandoned for the day
It has stopped raining, but the umpires and groundstaff have decided conditions won’t be playable by the cut-off time of 7pm.
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“Can’t we set Dominic Cummings on Steve Smith?” says Kim Thonger. “He got Phillip Hammond out of the Tory Party in double quick time and he was well set.”
This, the absolute state thereof
Steve Smith in #Ashes since The Oval Test in Aug 2015
— Mohandas Menon (@mohanstatsman) September 4, 2019
143
141*
40, 6
239
76, 102*
83
144, 142
92
60 batting
Summary: 12 innings, 1268 runs, ave 140.88, 100s: 6, 50s: 4
Now has a record 50+ scores in his last 8 Ashes innings (next best: 6 by Mike Hussey 2009-2010)#EngvsAus
“Hey Rob, could you give a quick update for those of us who’ve been unable to follow today?” says Brendan Large. “Is this a good pitch and exactly how effed are we already? Are we ever going to take Smith’s wicket properly this year (I don’t think we can count the through-the-legs semi runout)?”
It’s been a slightly weird day because of the weather – it was seriously windy in that afternoon session, and the seamers struggled as a result. It’s a good pitch but it’s also very dry and should turn in the second innings. Archer has had a poor day, as has Root, and I think England are in big trouble. But thinking the England cricket team are in big trouble is what I do best. In my head they lost the 2005 Ashes 5-0, they went out of this year’s World Cup at the group stage, and as for that innings defeat to Ireland...
“Greetings from the future,” says Paul Griffin. “This is the year 3289 AD. Humanity is now a broken diaspora, scattered across the galaxy after the disastrous wars of Brexon destroyed their home planet. Most are enslaved and pitilessly harvested by alien overlords. They are the lucky ones. The rest eke out a meagre subsistence using toxic fragments of radioactive bones to extracting Ur-Sand from the ice moons of Thoth. Life is hard. Space is infinite. Steve Smith is still batting.”
I can’t wait to watch the Steve Smith episode of Black Mirror.
It’s raining again
Ach. The covers are back on.
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Tea
44th over: Australia 170-3 (Smith 60, Head 18) That’s tea. It’s been another fine session for Australia, and though England weren’t helped by some horrible conditions, they bowled far too many bad balls. The Ashes are slipping away, again.
43rd over: Australia 165-3 (Smith 59, Head 14) Stokes follows that review by zipping a beauty past Head’s outside edge. The next ball is clipped just over Buttler at short midwicket for four. It’s been an eventful cameo from Head: 14 from 13 balls, including a review and a few false strokes.
Head survives! Yep, it pitched just outside leg stump and England lose a review. Fine umpiring from Kumar Dharmasena.
I think it pitched outside leg
England review! Head survives a huge LBW appeal after being knocked off his feet by a Stokes yorker - but Joe Root wants to have another look. This is really close.
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42nd over: Australia 160-3 (Smith 58, Head 10) Smith works Overton off the hip for three. He is making batting look terrifyingly easy. If England dismiss him before the year 2027, it’ll be a bonus.
This is how Steve Smith brought up his half-century. Unreal. #Ashes pic.twitter.com/ozSChWpD99
— cricket.com.au (@cricketcomau) September 4, 2019
41st over: Australia 155-3 (Smith 53, Head 10) Head fiddles nervously outside off stump and is beaten by Stokes, who is starting to get some prodigious swing. Smith digs out an inducking yorker like it’s the easiest thing in the world before pulling round the corner for a single.
40th over: Australia 151-3 (Smith 52, Head 7) The new batsman Travis Head is beaten by his first delivery. In a bowling attack that includes Broad, Archer and Stokes, it’s Craig Overton who has got the crowd going. He got a bit carried away when he tried to bowl Head behind his legs and was put away for four. That aside it was another fine over, which ended with Head fencing a sharp delivery just wide of gully. I’m not sure it carried anyway.
That was a brilliant delivery from Overton, which roared back off the seam to beat Labuschagne on the inside and ram into the top of off stump. You could sense in Overton’s previous over that he was stirring; now he has a vital wicket.
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WICKET! Australia 144-3 (Labuschagne b Overton 67)
Overton has knocked him over with a ripper!
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39th over: Australia 144-2 (Labuschagne 67, Smith 52) A very wide half-volley from Stokes is belted through the covers for four by Smith. He had to reach so far across that he fell over as he made contact. Not that he’ll care: that boundary brings up his eighth consecutive half-century against England. Even by his standards, that’s ludicrous.
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38th over: Australia 138-2 (Labuschagne 66, Smith 47) Labuschagne survives an LBW appeal after being turned round by a fine delivery from Overton. It looked too high but there was an encouraging bit of late movement, and it set the tone for Overton’s best over of the match so far. Labuschagne ended it by back cutting confidently for four, prompting Overton to have a few words.
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37th over: Australia 132-2 (Labuschagne 62, Smith 47) Stokes replaces Archer (10-0-29-0). We’re having a few technical problems, but there was nothing to report in that over.
“Rob I’d just like to muddy Garry Sharp’s hitherto crystal clear waters,” says Kim Thonger. “Balls, if cold, are ever so slightly smaller than hot balls, with a correspondingly smaller surface area, therefore would naturally incur lower wind resistance. I’d add the equation but my Book of Exceedingly Useful Everyday Equations is in my desk at work.”
36th over: Australia 131-2 (Labuschagne 60, Smith 46) There’s a bit of rain falling, although it’s not heavy enough to stop play. Labuschagne thick-edges Overton along the ground for four to bring up an excellent century partnership, and then Smith survives a big LBW shout after offering no stroke. It was missing off stump.
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35th over: Australia 126-2 (Labuschagne 55, Smith 46) Labuschagne lifts his arms and jumps outside the line of a good bouncer from Archer. He and Smith look in total control.
“Wotcha, Rob,” says Mac Millings. “I’ll buy Matt Dony’s 27th-over kidney. What’s the currency these days in Broken Brexit Britain? Assuming you’re a Barter Economy now, I can offer him an old loaf of bread. Or, if he wants something else of equally little value, perhaps my sense of self-esteem.”
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34th over: Australia 123-2 (Labuschagne 53, Smith 45) Craig Overton replaces Stuart Broad, Labuschagne works a single off the hip. England have looked pretty clueless against Labuschagne and Smith throughout this series - now, for the first time, they have to bowl at both of them. This is starting to have the feel of an Ashes-winning partnership.
33rd over: Australia 122-2 (Labuschagne 52, Smith 45) Whatever the reason - weather, fatigue, lack of rhythm, it’s not happening for Jofra Archer today.
“Colder air is denser, so that will slow the ball down, in Jofra’s defence,” says Garry Sharp. “This is why every bowler has a working understanding of the Saturated Adiabatic Lapse Rate, it’s important. OK, I’m bored.”
Apparently Alan Mullally would never shut up about it.
32nd over: Australia 120-2 (Labuschagne 52, Smith 43) Both Broad and Archer are struggling for rhythm. It’s so windy, and England’s bowlers can’t settle. Broad aborts his run-up when a crisp packet blows across the pitch. Then it happens again. The look on Broad’s coupon! He’s absolutely fuming. Now the bails have blown off, and here comes a third crisp packet!
The umpires have taken the bails off so that play can continue. England look distracted and hacked off, and the next three hours are a great opportunity for Australia to take complete control of the match.
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31st over: Australia 118-2 (Labuschagne 51, Smith 42) A poor delivery from Archer, short and wide, is clattered through backward point for four by Smith. He’s winning their contest hands down at the moment, and playing the bouncer with ease as well. That said, Archer has been well short of his best.
“A query from Queretaro, Mexico,” says Stephen Douglas. “With all the controversy surrounding the Stokes LBW shout, what do the laws say when the ball deflects from the front pad (in a not out position) onto the back pad (plumb)?”
It says: ‘36.2.1 In assessing points in 36.1.3, 36.1.4 and 36.1.5, only the first interception is to be considered.’
30th over: Australia 114-2 (Labuschagne 51, Smith 38) Smith thumps a half-volley from Broad past mid-on for four. That’s a brilliant shot, which he follows with a wristy flick through midwicket for three more. He looks in formidable touch. An expensive over continues with four leg byes when Labuschagne walks across his stumps. England went up for LBW but Marais Erasmus wasn’t interested; replays showed it was missing leg.
“Archer bowled a total of 44 overs at Lord’s, Pat Cummins bowled 38,” says Richard Dennis. “Is it really that much difference? And that was after Cummins bowled 44.3 overs in the first Test. Either everyone needs to start banging on about Cummins being overbowled too, or can we all just come to the realisation that far, far too much is being made of this Archer being overbowled notion.”
It’s an interesting point. I think there are a few differences, though – Archer has been carrying an injury, has less experience of bowling long spells, especially in such an intense format, and most importantly has the ability to bowl in excess of 95mph. Cummins isn’t quite as quick. There have been few, if any, bowlers in Test history capable of being both shock bowler and stock bowler.
29th over: Australia 103-2 (Labuschagne 51, Smith 31) “Rob,” says John Starbuck. “See page 9 of Private Eye today for a selection of before and after pieces on England’s cricket prowess, or lack of it.”
Ha, yes, I saw that. I don’t know whether to be relieved or insulted that the Guardian wasn’t mentioned.
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The players are back on the field.
And now, approximately seven seconds later, it has stopped raining. That really was a passing shower.
Rain stops play
28.4 overs: Australia 102-2 (Labuschagne 51, Smith 30) Smith ignores a short ball from Archer. The next ball is a much better bouncer, forcing Smith to jerk his head outside the line - but that’s all we’ll get for now, because it has suddenly started pouring down.
28th over: Australia 101-2 (Labuschagne 50, Smith 30) Labuschagne is beaten by a fine delivery from Broad that seams away and keeps a bit low. He turns a single off the pads later in the over to reach another accomplished fifty - his fourth in four innings since he came back into the side. He looks a serious player.
“I’m with you on the Stokes DRS,” says Tom Hopkins. “The ball tracking just doesn’t tally with the actual footage. I think the ICC should be thanking the much maligned Joel Wilson for not going with the oafish suggestion that he just give it out and let the technology sort it out, otherwise they could be having a more interesting conversation.”
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27th over: Australia 99-2 (Labuschagne 49, Smith 29) A good start from Archer, including some sharp short balls and a good delivery that turns Smith round and takes a leading edge. It dribbles along the floor for a single.
“Rob, I can confirm that Redundancy is a Bad Thing,” says Matt Dony. “But, taking the positives, I can follow this Test match comfortably from my living room, as opposed to from the dusty, stuffy lab where I followed the World Cup. Of course, that simple joy is slightly offset by the fact that the match hasn’t actually been happening for most of the afternoon. On an unrelated note, anyone want to buy a kidney?”
The players are on the field. It’s gloomy and windy, with the lights on. Jofra Archer is going to bowl in a sleeveless sweater.
Jofrawatch Mikey Holding, chatting on Sky, makes the point that Jofra Archer has not hit 91mph since the Lord’s Test. That’s pretty worrying, and reinforces the perception that he was grossly overbowled on his debut. He might not be fully fit, either - I only found it this week that he had a painkilling injection before the Super Over in the World Cup final.
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“Hi Rob,” says Andy Sharp. “I’m a massive cricket fan based in Japan. On Tuesday, the day before the test at Old Trafford, some of the England lads came to my old club, Grappenall CC, in Cheshire — Neil Fairbrother’s club. They had secretly bought a bench as a memorial to Neil’s dad, Les, who recently passed away. Heartwarming to see this from my Tokyo flat. Also impressed by Broady’s manspreading.”
Yes, I saw that – lovely stuff, such a nice gesture. Not such a nice posture.
Tea will be at 5.30pm, and play can go on until 7.30pm. Never mind Smith v Archer, now there’s an even bigger battle: Test cricket v The One Show.
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Play will restart at 4pm BST
Woot woot!
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“In response to David (15.04), can I ask which idiot scheduled a test in North West London in August?” says George Wright. “Wasn’t it inevitable that we’d lose almost two full days? Hmm... it’s almost like the vagaries of British weather can make a fool of anyone.”
“In a DRS universe,” says Mark Gillespie, “the Australians would have been able to review the Stokes LBW at Headingley, and would have won the game. Oh, wait...”
Arf. I’m convinced the ball-tracking was wrong on that LBW appeal as it missed a slight deflection off the front pad. If so, that’s pretty alarming.
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“I’ve never been convinced by Root as captain,” says James Brough. “He’s had about 30 Tests as captain, and I still couldn’t say what type of captain he is. With most captains, after that number of Tests, you’d have an idea of their style- Gower was out of his depth, Strauss was meticulous and calculating, Vaughan aggressive, Gooch led by example. What can you say of Root’s captaincy? I still can’t see anything individual in it.”
That’s a terrific point. It feels like the Test team, on a micro and macro level, have drifted fairly aimlessly for the last few years. With Trevor Bayliss leaving, this winter is a good time for a reset.
Arise Sir Bench Stokes
“My friend Honor demanded I send this to you,” says John Willshire. “I spent the last part of the Headingley Test assembling a garden bench, and thought ‘the tenth wicket won’t fall until I finish it’. I made the last screw last half an hour.”
It feels like we should have a naming ceremony or something. Anyway, welcome to the garden, Sir Bench Stokes. #ashes pic.twitter.com/xHWNyHIyqg
— John V Willshire (@willsh) August 30, 2019
Talking of great fun, here’s this week’s Spin podcast, which includes a guest appearance from WL Spencer-Churchill LHB SLA.
Do you spend sleepless nights wondering what would have happened had DRS been used in the 2005 Ashes? Me neither, but this piece, from the superb Scott Oliver, is great fun.
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“Having a stupid cricket conversation with my mate Bryan about bad wicketkeepers, but he’s unearthed one of the great stats of all time,” says Pete Salmon. “Only two wicketkeepers took catches of Dennis Lillee – Rod Marsh and... Roger Woolley. Two catches, versus Sri Lanka, 1983. In fact, I’m declaring that the best cricket stat of all time. Any competitors?”
Oh yes. Nothing will ever top this from the Gaffer. There’s no way this is a coincidence.
Thanks Geoff, hello everyone. September rain, eh. It’s all a bit frustrating, although the forecast for the rest of the day - and the rest of the match - is more promising.
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That’s enough for me today, as the ground staff get their brooms out and huddle in their hoods. To mop things up for us it will be the reliable Rob Smyth.
The rain has stopped, and the soppers are doing their best to mop things up. It’s just gone 3pm. Not sure what our chances are of getting on.
We might as well deal with a cranky one, since I’m sure many more people will be expostulating similarly to David. “Who was the idiot who scheduled a Test match for Manchester in September? It is the wettest place in England most times of the year. I cannot remember a Test being held in the north in September. It does not take a genius to predict this type of weather.”
To begin with, there was more than one idiot, because there was a World Cup involved and a lot of people trying to fit a lot of cricket into one summer. Secondly, average rainfall for Manchester is higher in August. So had it been held in August then presumably everyone would have been idiots if it rained then too. Thirdly, average rainfall in July is marginally behind September, so that would have been another idiot month.
Six of seven Tests were washed out draws from the First World War until Laker (apt name) in 1956. Lots of Tests before that were played on sticky dogs. Ponting’s draw in 2005 was only possible because of a rain day. Rain in Manchester is a thing that happens. They also manage to play cricket here. And they’ve had some of the most memorable Tests in history. That’s the deal. Getting angry at it might seem slightly...
Now we’re playing the waiting game, which indeed sucks and would be best replaced by Hungry Hungry Hippos.
“Thanks for putting up that Cricket Supporters survey, which I have completed,” writes John Starbuck. “I note they don’t address the cricket-following option of a webcam at county grounds plus local BBC radio commentary. This is now my main way of watching the county championship and really ought to become widespread. It’s another part of the mix but not an ECB thing. Or is it?”
That’s not a question I can answer but someone else might be able to.
That wind is sending cartwheeling volleys of spume into the air, lifted off the tarpaulins and vaulted across the ground. The really heavy blast of rain has blown over already, replaced by lighter fall. The ground will be drenched though.
The rain is back. Dampen your expectations, it’s sheeting down all of a sudden. The big covers are back in place, despite fighting the ground staff every step of the way.
“Since it seems England have tried everything else to get Smith out, how about some medium pace bowling? When I was a pie-chucker in my youth, I had unexpectedly good figures. Admittedly they were all catches in the outfield from mishit slogs, but a wicket is a wicket. I do realise I’m clutching at straws, but so is every England cricket fan. Is this an example of ‘so crazy it might just work’?”
Well... no, Tom Fairbairn. That’s a nice surname by the way. I assume it means ‘beautiful child’. Tom, my sweet child. Trash gets wickets up to a point, because batsmen who aren’t very good will try to slog everything. Even good players get out when they slog everything. Viz Steve Smith getting out to Derbyshire’s part-time leggie Matthew Critchley last week. What makes them good players is that they have the restraint to resist slogging everything, and instead just calmly and sensibly score off everything instead.
Anyway, he’s only on 28. Don’t hit the red button yet.
The covers are coming off!
(Slowly, gingerly. One at a time. It’s not as sensual as I’m making it sound.)
Derek Fordham replies. “Forty years ago, when I was an eager U16 cricketer, our coach often used to tell us that the Somerset opening pair of Dross and Crapp used to open the bowling for England. I am sure that if I Google this fact it will prove to be untrue, and so I never have and never will.”
Shhhhh, everyone.
Finbar Anslow sends a poser to get us through the rain. “Hi Geoff, delightful afternoon here on Lombardy/Piedmont border. Just wondering if two Somerset bowlers have bowled in tandem for England before?”
Somerset hasn’t produced a whole lot of Test bowlers, so that does limit the options. The best bets? Vic Marks and Ian Botham played a few Tests together in the 1980s. And... Marcus Trescothick reeled off 14 overs and took his only Test wicket in Karachi in 2000, in a Test that Andy Caddick also played in.
What I don’t have the means to deduce is whether either of those pairings bowled in tandem. If anyone else does, by all means let us know.
Here’s something to fill in your time while the sky weeps. The Cricket Supporters Association, which is a relatively new organisation, is running a survey on the state of the game. As far as I understand it, they want some information that doesn’t come through the ECB to give a picture.
The full covers are on now, with the hovercraft in the middle. I can’t see any actual rainfall, but I don’t have the fortune of being outside to know for sure. The umpire’s umbrella is down, so I’ll take that as my reading.
I regret to announce that rain has arrived
I’m glad to announce that the rain timed its run very considerately to match the lunch break, at least in terms of commencement. It will not be the same when it comes to resumption, however. The wind is fierce and the covers are billowing.
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“Archer seems to have done the bowling equivalent of splitting the atom,” suggests John. “A missile into the chops of Smith led to the unexpected yet ultra-capable Labuschagne coming straight into the team – so now there’s two of them out there on the field. Better hope they don’t take any more short balls in the grille! And, no, I’m not a physicist.”
Less splitting the atom (which tends to have broader and more complete consequences) and more Mickey Mouse chopping an enchanted broomstick in half.
Lunch – Australia 98 for 2
One more wicket and it would have been England’s session, but you’d have to say that as things stand it’s Australia’s. The two batsmen who have provided most of England’s trouble in this series are doing it again: Smith taking up the attack on occasion, Labuschagne on the verge of his fourth consecutive fifty. If a wicket falls after lunch England could very quickly be amongst a few more, so there’s still a lot riding on this partnership.
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26th over: Australia 98-2 (Labuschagne 49, Smith 28) Another four to start an Overton over. Labuschagne plays squarer this time, behind point, but along the ground and hit so well that it zooms to the boundary. After that he’s happy to play out the over. That’s lunch!
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25th over: Australia 94-2 (Labuschagne 45, Smith 28) Leach, left-arm orthodox spin, sends down another maiden to Smith.
24th over: Australia 94-2 (Labuschagne 45, Smith 28) Overton, too wide to start his over, and Labuschagne drives him for four! Away through the covers, his best shot of the day. Full control. He leaves a wider one, and Overton half appeals with the cordon, thinking he might have got a lucky touch like Stuart Broad. No such.
“Hi Geoff,” emails Martin Chatterton. “We once sat side by side in our underwear on a late night panel called ‘We Like It Confronting’ (or something) at the Brisbane Writer’s Festival (with Krissy Kneen and Sommer Tothill as I recall). Imagine my surprise when I tune into The Guardian’s cricket coverage and there you are doing the ball-by-ball from Manchester.”
Reader, Martin is correct. I have lived many lives. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion...
23rd over: Australia 90-2 (Labuschagne 41, Smith 28) Leach, driven straight by Smith for a single, then Labuschagne starts working him fairly comfortably to the leg side. First for a brace, then for one. A bit too straight. Marnus has looked largely unruffled this morning, as he largely has since being parachuted into the series at Lord’s.
22nd over: Australia 86-2 (Labuschagne 38, Smith 27) Overton is getting some decent bounce when he lands it right, outside off. When he gets too straight though, Labuschagne flicks square for two runs. Too full, Labuschagne drives straight, and Overton saves a boundary by getting his boot on it, conceding two runs instead. Wasn’t far off hitting the non-striker’s stumps, and would have run out Smith if it had.
Scott Roberts: “I don’t wish to be a negative Nancy, but I fear that Root’s captaincy has been shown for its frailties this morning. It looks to me like he took Archer off too soon, presumably in response to criticism of overbowling him. He picked Overton to be a bowler, but then prefers to pick Stokes as the first change, presumably on the back of the so called momentum from the last test (which I personally don’t think exists in top-class sport). I think this has the double-negative effect of making Stokes think he has to be the saviour every time, which has to be mentally exhausting, plus it cannot avoid but make Overton doubt his captain’s belief in him and wonder why he wasn’t the first change. I fear we have let Smith off the hook here by letting him get off to a comfortable start.”
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21st over: Australia 81-2 (Labuschagne 34, Smith 26) Smith gets off strike against Leach after nine sighters. Works the ball square, as he does. Marnus blots out the rest.
20th over: Australia 80-2 (Labuschagne 34, Smith 25) Stokes is absolutely not settling in for a long spell. He’s off. Craig Overton is on, back in the Test whites. He starts with a steady sort of over: no obvious threat, but giving little away. One run from it.
Speaking of comebacks...
19th over: Australia 79-2 (Labuschagne 34, Smith 24) Big edge from Leach! Wide of Stokes at slip. Labuschagne went hard across the line, trying to flick, but got a leading edge instead behind square. Over and wide of slip, and it flies away for two. Maybe spin will be the danger here?
18th over: Australia 75-2 (Labuschagne 31, Smith 23) Stokes settling in for another long spell, perhaps. A single and a brace for Smith from the over, at the stumps.
17th over: Australia 72-2 (Labuschagne 30, Smith 21) Jack Leach bowls a maiden, Smith very happy just to see him out.
“Excuse my ignorance, but what’s the point of selecting Buttler?” writes Neil Ashby. “He’s not keeping, he’s not scoring with the bat, and he doesn’t bowl (does he?). Why not replace him with a genuine batsman, bowler or another all-rounder?”
I’d say because since he came back into the Test team he’s scored more runs than anyone but Root. Hasn’t made a score in this series, but that doesn’t mean he won’t.
16th over: Australia 72-2 (Labuschagne 30, Smith 21) Stokes, to Smith, and whacked away for four more! Short again, Smith steps inside the line and flips the pull shot to fine leg. So easy when you’ve made that room for the shot. Follows up with a single and he has 21 from 23. This is some decent heat to start a Test innings. Stokes nearly pickes up Labuschagne with the last ball though: it nips back sharply off the seam, but in the end is doing too much as it hits the pad in front of middle. Umpire Erasmus says no, and DRS shows umpire’s call on the very outside of the leg stump.
15th over: Australia 66-2 (Labuschagne 29, Smith 16) I will confess, for a moment there, I wondered just how Nathan Lyon had come to be bowling for England against Australia. Then I realised it was Jack Leach. Similar look, the spinners, at least until they bowl with opposite arms. Leach bowls too short, twice, and Labsuchagne cuts him through point to the fence both times.
14th over: Australia 57-2 (Labuschagne 20, Smith 16) Drinks had, Stokes bowling, and Smith drives him for four! That cover drive is more technical, less violent. Smith walks across, gets to it on the half volley, drives it calmly away. Stokes drops short in response so Smith wallops him on the pull shot instead, four more. This is looking ominous already. He’s doubled his score. How does he just walk in and play this way?
13th over: Australia 49-2 (Labuschagne 20, Smith 8) In the space of a couple of balls, you can see the form Labuschagne has been in this English summer. Leaves a ball too wide, plays a searching ball well from the crease in defence, then as soon one pitches too full he drives it dead straight for four. Broad is excited for a moment as a flick off the pads goes in the air, but it misses midwicket comfortably for another boundary. Drinks.
“Morning,” writes Smylers. “Has anybody checked that former OBOer Vish made it safely out of Leeds? I’m a little concerned after seeing this chippy on the Kirkstall Road serving Vish & Chips.”
Scran: JJ’s Vish & Chips, Leeds
— Northern Soul (@Northern_Soul_) August 18, 2019
In a new series about brilliant Northern food, Mark Connors is all about this veggie and vegan chippy.https://t.co/U8GIerIGmV@Markeconnors2 #VishandChips #Leeds #Scran #Vegan #veggie #vegetarian pic.twitter.com/CSXZnJ4M8R
No fear, I did see Vithushan Ehantharajah on my way into the ground this morning, and he was very much intact and dapper.
12th over: Australia 41-2 (Labuschagne 12, Smith 8) Ben Stokes into the attack ahead of Craig Overton. Interesting. Archer bowled only five overs. Perhaps Overton would prefer to be at Broad’s end? Broad’s spell isn’t done yet though. Stokes bowls a tidy opening over, just one run and a leg bye.
11th over: Australia 39-2 (Labuschagne 12, Smith 7) Broad gets a bit straight in this over. Marnus plays like Marnus, tucking a ball away sensibly for one. Smith plays like Smith, in his newly expansive mode, flicking airily through midwicket. There’s a good sliding stop that keeps the scoring to three.
Here’s the TMS overseas link.
10th over: Australia 35-2 (Labuschagne 11, Smith 4) Archer to Smith, and carved away for four! What a shot that is, as Archer slips too wide and full outside off, and with the whole cover region open, Smith flays through the line to the boundary. Strode into that and didn’t bother trying to keep it down, with all that space in front of him. What a way to get off the mark. The leg slip is now a conventional third slip. Archer comes back with a sizzler, cutting in off the seam and almost going over off stump as Smith leaves. Then a short ball to finish the over, making the batsman duck. The duel is back on.
9th over: Australia 29-2 (Labuschagne 10, Smith 0) Broad is really chiselling away at this line outside off. Beats Labuschagne, challenges his pads, then has the batsman flick to short leg and overbalance... Buttler actually hits the stumps with a throw, but Marnus has just got his bat down. Maiden.
8th over: Australia 29-2 (Labuschagne 10, Smith 0) Labuschagne stabs away a single, and the duel will recommence. Two men out for the hook, the one at square leg only three quarters of the way to the fence looking for an error. Short leg. Leg slip. Two conventional slips and a gully. And Archer starts with length, outside off. Length again. Then short, too short, easy for Smith to slip under, even as the crowd gives voice.
7th over: Australia 28-2 (Labuschagne 9) Harris gone last ball of the over. Here it comes then. Steve Smith to the crease. Jofra Archer to bowl the next set.
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WICKET! Harris lbw Broad 11 (Australia 28-2)
Broad gets one! He’s had a few near things. This ball snakes in from outside off stump, around the wicket. Hits Harris high but on the back leg, and bounces off to be caught in the slips. Broad implores, waving his hands, and belatedly Kumar Dharmasena pops up the finger. There was no inside edge, as Harris reviews, and the ball is clipping leg stump, high and nearly wide. Angle and height were the issues, but it’s close enough. Australia keep the review.
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6th over: Australia 26-1 (Harris 11, Labuschagne 9) Archer! What was that? The most over-the-top delivery since that fop in the top hat banged on for an hour in the House of Commons last night. It soars over the wicketkeeper and away for four byes. Labuschagne follows up with a boundary off his pads.
5th over: Australia 15-1 (Harris 8, Labuschagne 5) A maiden for Broad, only making Labuschagne play a couple of times as the bowler works away outside off stump. A couple of tech issues here, apologies. Back on track now.
“Prangitt here in South Oz having a beer and watching the match on the 55” PC monitor. Got the OBO on the 27” to the left. Loving your work tonight! the forgotten shopping line was great. Sorry to report I have stolen that from you.”
I do it all for the people, Prang.
4th over: Australia 15-1 (Harris 8, Labuschagne 5) Archer bowls a tight over, not giving Harris much bar one straight ball worked for two runs. A good one beats the edge after that.
“Is it wrong that I’ve got goosebumps?” Not at all, Christopher Mellor. “I’m sat at work pretending to be on the phone but concentrating on the cricket, I was at Headingley days 2 and 3 (dressed as wonder woman) and have been trying to get time off to go across the border in to the land that time forgot but so far alas, not been able. Looking forward to a good day. BOOM, Warner has gone, brilliant.”
I believe that should be “Kaboom.” (Sponsor withdrawn.)
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3rd over: Australia 9-1 (Harris 6, Labuschagne 1) Four! Broad stays around the wicket to the left-handed Harris after getting rid of Warner. Gets the ball to straighten but he started it too full and too wide, so Harris is able to get on the front foot and send it through point with a drive. A very Harris shot. He follows up by checking a single into the covers. Which sounds like ‘the covers’ are a hotel, but they’re not. Broad continues over the wicket to Labuschagne, who is nearly caught! He fends that past short leg, and Buttler is unsighted and wrong-footed and perhaps several other medical conditions. He flinched to his right as the ball passed his left shoulder, then bounced too square for the next man back to cut it off. A streaky boundary. Then a huge Broad appeal, but Marnus has stepped across outside the line of off stump and inside edged that before it hit pad. Hard work out there.
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2nd over: Australia 4-1 (Harris 1, Labuschagne 1) It’s Archer time. Jofra is bowling from the James Anderson End, in what may be a spiritual handover for the future of English fast bowling. He starts in the mid-80s (in terms of miles per hour and in terms of era of swagger). Gets a lot of bounce through to the keeper, and a lot of swing when he loses one down leg side. Harris glances a single after Marnus gets a leg bye off the hip.
Satish Chandra emails in. “I am Indian and so is my significantly better half. I don’t follow Indian cricket much, but I am following the Ashes and Brexit closely. My significantly better half is not the least interested in either of them, so much so that they simply don’t exist. Solution: marrying someone who is not interested in anything that you are passionate about might just be the right formula.”
1st over: Australia 2-1 (Harris 0, Labuschagne 1) So Marnus Labuschagne gets an immediate test in his new position at first drop. There’s always the risk that you’ll be out there in the first over. The right-hander gets off the mark immediately by glancing a single. Australia’s not going cheap on a special deal, but they are two for one.
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WICKET! Warner c Bairstow b Broad o (Australia 1-1)
First over! Fourth ball of the match! Warner is gone! What was he doing? Broad has a huge leg-before shout against Harris turned down that concedes a leg bye, but gets his reward against Warner. The ball is wide of off stump, but Warner in thinking about a leave just leaves his bat hanging out like forgotten shopping on the front step. Strange non-shot, and the edge is taken.
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Thanks JP. Good Manchester morning, all. It’s still sunny here but there are banks of threatening grey cloud – seems a metaphor for the national broadcaster trying to show political balance. The wind is howling out there too, which is probably a metaphor for something else. It’s a bit chilly out there when the wind blows. Stuart Broad has the ball. Marcus Harris is taking strike. Let’s go.
Ok, play will be underway in a few short moments so without further ado I shall offer my keys to Geoff Lemon. See you all again tomorrow.
Nick Cherkas, channelling Morrissey, naturally, while we’re in Manchester. “Technically the thorn does still exist in English, albeit in the phonetic alphabet (/ð/) . It’s the voiced sound represented by the letters “th” heard in “breathe”, “mother”, and “there”. English has an alphabet of 26 letters which are represented by over 40 sounds, which is one of the reasons why pronunciation is such a challenge. Who’ll be the thorn in whose side today?”
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Nice pick up from Dean Kinsella, referencing Rob Smyth’s suggestion that Ben Stokes may now suffer ducks in Manchester after his heroics in Leeds. “Whatever Mr Stokes achieves at Old Trafford this weekend I don’t think there can be much doubt that he already has a pair!”
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England XI
Joe Root announced England’s line-up yesterday, revealing one change to the XI that survived the Headingley heist and one reshuffle to the batting order.
The headline is Craig Overton replacing Chris Woakes in a move that indicates England’s bowling strategy at Old Trafford will be to hit the deck hard rather than probe for sideways movement through the air. Meanwhile at the top of the order Jason Roy’s torturous start to the series as an opener has seen him cosseted down at four and Joe Denly entrusted with helping Rory Burns to see off the new ball.
England: Burns, Denly, Root (c), Roy, Stokes, Bairstow (wk), Buttler, Overton, Archer, Broad, Leach
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Australia XI
Australia delayed naming their final XI until the toss with Mitchell Starc named by Tim Paine as the final member of his bowling attack. The speedster replaces the rested James Pattinson for his first trundle of the series.
The bigger news arrived yesterday with Usman Khawaja announced as the man to make way for the returning Steve Smith. The left-hander’s stock has fallen in quicktime on tour from a possible candidate to take over the captaincy to falling behind Matthew Wade, Travis Head, and Marnus Labuschagne in the pecking order.
Australia: Warner, Harris, Labuschagne, Smith, Head, Wade, Paine (c/wk), Cummins, Starc, Hazlewood, Lyon
Australia win the toss and bat first
“The wicket looks a bit drier than you’d expect” says Tim Paine. Who adds he’s expecting pace and bounce (hence the inclusion of Starc) and also sees the benefit of the left-hander creating footmarks for Nathan Lyon - who may well be the danger man on this surface.
Joe Root would also have batted first had he won the toss. Sounds like nobody wants to bat last.
The team winning the toss has chosen to bat first in each of the last 18 Tests hosted at Old Trafford. However, only seven of those 18 teams has gone on to win the match. #Ashes
— The CricViz Analyst (@cricvizanalyst) September 4, 2019
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You wouldn’t let it lie, Ian Forth. “Talking of red rags to bulls, Jonathan, let’s talk about ‘Ye olde’ in Tanya’s otherwise excellent piece. First, there’s almost no evidence that ’olde’ was used for ‘old’ in the olden days. More importantly though, the ‘y’ in ‘ye’ is derived from the thorn symbol which no longer exists in English. It was pronounced as “th”. So ‘ye’ was pronounced ‘the’. Carry on pronouncing it ‘ye’ if you wish, it’s a free country (for now) - but remember it’s far more rewarding to correct people on the matter at parties.”
“As usual I’m at a loss to understand the selection and batting order policy,” emails Kim Thonger. “Opening with Sam Curran and Jack Leach would have made more sense to me. They’re mentally stronger than most of the top order. I’m sadly fairly confident that Root will be trying to save our first innings (again) with Stokes by the tenth over. The scoreboard team might just as well put up 3 wickets down at start of play to save themselves time and effort. I pray (to my personal deity Richard Dawkins) that I’m wrong.” The Roy Delusion?
Acres of newspaper have been filled this past week with pieces attempting to make sense of Ben Stokes and his astonishing feat. Rob Smyth filed one of the best.
Stokes did not just bring England back from the dead last Sunday; he brought them back from a cremation. It was an astonishing achievement, euphoric confirmation of his greatness. The relative modesty of Stokes’s numbers in Test cricket – he averages 36 with the bat, 32 with the ball – are sometimes used in evidence against him. But trying to assess his impact through statistics is like trying to quantify love. It should surprise nobody if Stokes gets a pair at Old Trafford.
Anna Halford has solved Phil Rawlinson’s diplomatic incident. “I find the secret is all in the preparation,” she emails. “It might be a bit late for him, but I would recommend my approach of choosing a Belgian as a significant other. The worst that will happen is that you’ll be annoyed with their air of faint bemusement. I look forward to the grateful thanks of other OBO-ers whose relationship problems I have solved.” Smash cut to Oprah Winfrey handing out Belgians to her entire studio audience.
Abhijato Sensarma ponders whether we’re watching the Ben Stokes Ashes or the Brexit Ashes? “Quite frankly, we needed the small break after all that the English cricketing summer has shown us so far. But now, both Brexit and Ben Stokes loom large over the public imagination. The former is a source of great misery for the English, but the latter has ignited a flicker of joy in their lives again. This sport transcends its immediate playing field ... Hopefully, this Test secures the series’ position as one which transcends time!”
The Weather
Ah, Manchester, don’t go changing. Rain fell this morning and showers remain a possibility during the hours of play. However, it is clear and dry right now and play should start on time.
Delays for rain are also forecast (but less likely) tomorrow, almost certain on Friday, but then the weekend should* be dry.
Part of what makes the Ashes such a special contest is the rich history at so many of the grounds. Tanya Aldred revisits some of the most memorable at Old Trafford, beginning with 2005.
Despite its No 1 status in the Old Trafford Test pantheon – a claim that may have raised a modest eyebrow from Jim Laker, whose 19 for 90 in 1956 was not all bad – England did not win in 2005. In fact England have not beaten Australia at Old Trafford since ye olde 1981, when a fresh-faced, neatly bearded, slim, helmetless Ian Botham put on his spurs and gracefully slashed Australia for 118 – the innings he and Mike Brearley consider the greatest of his career.
Adam Giles has enjoyed this week’s rearranging of deckchairs. “I think the switching of Denly and Roy might be a masterstroke by England,” he emails. “Perhaps those extra 5-10 balls will be the difference between Roy nicking off in the 3rd over and Roy nicking off in the 5th over.”
Word from Old Trafford is Mitchell Starc is back. Confirmation at the toss.
The Pitch
All the build-up to this match has suggested this Old Trafford track will play hard and bouncy. We know it usually accepts turn too. While all the attention has been on the pacemen those sound like ideal conditions for Nathan Lyon and his overspin.
You’re @root66 this morning, bat or bowl first on this deck? 🤔 #Ashes @englandcricket 🏴 pic.twitter.com/6vduS5WgHa
— Lancashire Cricket (@lancscricket) September 4, 2019
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Rick Chapman has emailed questioning England’s momentum. “Weren’t England supposed to win the third Test in a canter with Smith out? Beware the wounded Aussies.” Sentiments I share.
“Good morning Jonathan,” pleasure to have you around Phil Rawlinson. “Quick question; how do other marriages work with one English and one Australian? My wife is from Melbourne and I’m from Croydon (don’t judge) and after the infamous 2009 Broad at the Oval tear up in the car which nearly resulted in a motorway crash, we have opted for a no gloating/no over the top celebrating methodology. This was stretched to the limit on day four at Headingley, but ultimately stood up. I even went to the other room to scream after the Lyon run out. Here’s to a great Test, and if I may (I know you always get these) if any of your readership are feeling generous we are trying to raise some money for The Royal Marsden hospital.”
Well Phil, speaking from personal experience, it works best when one of you cares not a jot for sport. For example, my Australian wife is currently in A&E while our half-English half-Australian son has a wound in his forehead stitched.
One of the turning points in the ODI team's march to the World Cup was the realisation that Test form was not enough to keep a place in the white ball XI @JPHowcroft. Off went Cook and Trott and a few others. About time we applied the same principle in reverse.
— Gary Naylor (@garynaylor999) September 4, 2019
Grant Marjoribanks, whose name I had great pleasure saying aloud, is first with the satire. “Strange days when the English middle order is the most stable institution in British public life,” he emails, “less than two weeks after being all out for 67.” It was the Benst of times, it was the worst of times... Soz Dickens.
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Ian Forth has come forth with an email. “With respect,” he opens, which is always a red flag. “I might just disagree with Vic here. Don’t Ashes get won by England at home with superhuman individual efforts, above all else? Not saying others can’t chip in - but 8-43, 149*, 5-1, Gower in ’85, Flintoff’s over at Edgbaston, 154*, Flintoff bowling through a brick wall in ’09, Bell’s Ashes, Broad’s hot streaks, the Summer of Stokes…”
Ali Martin has been studying both camps in the lead-up to the fourth Test. He heard Australian skipper Tim Paine say that he “lost a bit of sleep thinking how we’re going to get Stokes out”, while Stuart Broad warned the returning Steve Smith to expect no favours, especially from Jofra Archer: “The dream is someone nicks him off first ball and Jofra doesn’t get to bowl at him, but he doesn’t average 60-odd for nothing. There will be a period in this game where those two come together again and – touch wood – I’m on the pitch to view it.”
I wonder if anybody will actually pay attention to the cricket today, what with all the Brexit ballyhoo that’s going on. Not even SKW is immune. Maybe Radio 4 should do an In Our Time on that time they invited Warnie onto the Today program.
If you’re looking for a scene-setter, here’s Vic Marks from Old Trafford on the eve of the Test.
The challenge for England is to win conventionally, without the necessity of a superhuman performance from one of their players to get them over the line. That tends to happen just once or twice in a generation. They desperately need runs from fresh sources. The challenge for Australia is to forget.
Or you might fancy Matthew Engel’s take, one containing a particularly choice bon mot from Iron Mike.
New game; fresh start; all square. England have momentum which indeed proved decisive in 1981 and 2005 when England also hit back spectacularly. On the other hand, as Mike Tyson almost said, everyone has momentum until they get a punch in the mouth.
Preamble
Hello everybody. Have you caught your breath yet? Heart rate returned to normal? Reconsidered the urge to call your newborn Ben? Good, because it’s Ashes time again, specifically live OBO coverage of the fourth Test from Old Trafford.
The series scoreline reads one-all with two to play but that hides the evidence of an already extraordinary contest. From James Anderson’s injury to Ben Stokes’s masterpiece via Steve Smith’s comeback and 67 all out, there has barely been a dull moment since the opening ball at Edgbaston over a month ago.
Attention now turns to Manchester where pop psychologists will be out in force to measure the impact of Stokes’s heroics on the Ashes combatants. Prevailing wisdom suggests England are now an unstoppable juggernaut while Australia will be mentally disintegrated after such an agonising defeat. I’m not so sure.
Stick with us for the next few days to find out. You can even join in if you like while it all unfolds. For the next hour or so you can do that by contacting me on email or Twitter. Then once play gets under way at 11am BST, I’ll hand you over to Geoff Lemon.
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