Adam Collins on a fine day for Jimmy Anderson
Ali Martin on a remarkable day of Test cricket
Vic Marks's day four report from Adelaide
I don’t know what else to say. I’ve got a big dumb grin on face, the kind only Ashes cricket can elicit. Vic Marks’ report will magically appear here in a short while, and the OBO will be back for day five. Thanks for your company and emails. Goodnight!
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Close of play: England need 178 more runs with six wickets remaining
Crikey. That was magnificent Test cricket. Australia are still favourites, thanks to that late wicket from the utterly brilliant Pat Cummins. But England played so well, Joe Root, and have a chance of an astonishing victory.
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62nd over: England 176-4 (Root 67, Woakes 5) Woakes pushes the last ball of the day through midwicket for three.
61.5 overs: England 173-4 (Root 67, Woakes 2) Woakes somehow manages to edge a sensational yorker through the slips for two. This is scandalously good bowling from Cummins.
61.4 overs: England 171-4 (Root 67, Woakes 0) Woakes defends solidly. There are two minutes until the close, so England are wasting a bit of time in an attempt to ensure this is the last over.
61.3 overs: England 171-4 (Root 67, Woakes 0) Woakes is beaten by a brilliant full-length outswinger.
61.2 overs: England 171-4 (Root 67, Woakes 0) Wide of off stump, ignored by Woakes.
61.1 overs: England 171-4 (Root 67, Woakes 0) Root gets off strike! He’s off strike!
61st over: England 170-4 (Root 66, Woakes 0) Hazlewood sits Root down with a magnificant bounder. This is so good. Root and Woakes get through the remainder of Hazlewood’s over, despite more evidence of reverse swing. We have time for one more Pat Cummins over before the close. Let’s go ball by ball!
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60th over: England 169-4 (Root 65, Woakes 0) The new batsman is the nightwatchman Chris Woakes, who is greeted with a 93mph yorker that he defends calmly. That wicket feels decisive, a modern take on Merv Hughes dismissing Mike Gatting with the last ball of the fourth day at Old Trafford in 1993. I think Malan was beaten for pace as much as anything, though there was a bit of seam movement. Malan scrapped hard for 80 balls without ever looking comfortable. It’s been a ferocious two-over spell from Cummins at a time when Australia were starting to fear the unthinkable.
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WICKET! England 169-4 (Malan b Cummins 29)
Pat Cummins really is a champion, the full package of brawn and brain, ticker and teckers. This is glorious stuff, a pleasure to watch. My jobsatisfactionometer is dinging uncontrollably. Oh my goodness, Malan has gone! What a delivery from Cummins, a beauty from around the wicket that burst through the gate to hit the top of off stump. That is sensational old-ball bowling from Cummins.
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59th over: England 168-3 (Root 64, Malan 29) Josh Hazlewood replaces Nathan Lyon, with around 18 minutes’ play remaining. Australia are going increasingly hard at Joe Root, both with the ball and particularly the mouth. The whole cordon serenaded him with a popular four-letter word during that over. One run from it.
Any word from the 4-day Tests crew?
— Scott Oliver (@reverse_sweeper) December 5, 2017
58th over: England 167-3 (Root 63, Malan 29) This is a good move from Steve Smith. Pat Cummins, who has been really impressive, returns 25 minutes before the close with a remit to raise hell. Root just manages to get an inside edge on a big reverse inswinger that would otherwise have trapped him LBW - and now he’s been dropped! He drove Cummins on the up towards short cover, and the ball burst through the hands of Bancroft for four. It was pretty difficult chance, but even so.
A storming over contihues with a big shout for LBW from behind the stumps. Root got an inside edge and Cummins didn’t appeal. The Barmy Army signalled for a review again. I suspect that joke won’t get old, not while they have hope of victory. Root responds with an excellent cover drive for three. That was just a brilliant over.
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57th over: England 160-3 (Root 56, Malan 29) Root, who has started to play for the close, again pads up to a straight one from Lyon. Not out says Aleem Dar, and the Barmy Army again go up for the review! This one pitched outside leg and would have bounced over the top, so we’ll call that a good leave once the heart leaves the mouth.
“Good morning, Rob!” chirps Sara Torvalds. How can anyone chirp at a time like this? What’s there to chirp about? I can barely feel my fingers and I’ve needed the toilet for three hours! “I’m in New York to celebrate my mother’s birthday, which means being stuck with roughly the same time difference for this day-night Test as for the other Tests at home in Finland: Go to bed early with some hope intact and wake up to collapse and/or frustration. Except today I wake up (too early, it’s only 5 a.m. in N.Y.) and there’s still hope. Not much, obviously, but there’s no humiliation either. A Jimmy five-for! Root still batting with a 50 to his name! A competitive session - on Day 4, no less!”
56th over: England 157-3 (Root 54, Malan 28) Root drives Starc for a single. This is a good spell for England, with Australia looking a bit angsty. one wicket would change everything, though, and there was an ominous/encouraging hint of reverse swing for Starc off the last ball of the over to Malan.
“The worst thing about all this, is that if England stay three down at close, I will have no choice but to get up absurdly early tomorrow morning to watch from the start of play,” says Stuart Urch. “I will then have to sit through the inevitable batting collapse. I hate hope.”
At least you’ll be able to justify having Chateaubriand for breakfast though.
55th over: England 156-3 (Root 53, Malan 28) Malan survies a huge LBW appeal from Lyon, and Australia have no reviews left. All the Barmy Army are on their feet, signalling for a review! It skidded on to hit the back pad, although replays suggest it would have been umpire’s call so Malan would have survived. Steve Smith hasn’t got a face like thunder; he’s got a face like the apocalypse.
“Just to add to the RA Smith love-in, as a Hampshire lad,” says Andrew Benzeval. “When I was a youngster, my dear old Dad took me to Holt and Haskell in Southampton to get my first “proper” bat (in around 1991, 1992 ish at a guess). The owner told us that the Judge had been in that morning to pick up his new kit, and he’d left his old wizened Gray Nicholls Elite behind, which said owner duly got for us to have a look at. My dad could barely lift it, let alone younger me. I confess it did the trick as a marketing ploy as I went with the Elite as well. Got to meet him at MCJ Nicholas’ testimonial at Arundel a few years later, he got 90-odd in about 20 minutes against the Bunburys, and then came out to the crowd to meet and greet. Absolutely pearler of a man and my favourite cricketer ever by some distance.”
54th over: England 154-3 (Root 51, Malan 27) Forty minutes to the close. Starc goes around the wicket to Root, who defends with reassuring/dispiriting* solidity. A maiden.
“Rob,” says Stewart Todd. “Are we now getting to the point where if we don’t win or at least draw, the psychological damage will be worse than if the Aussies had just enforced the follow on and crushed us in the usual manner?”
I doubt it, because 2-0 is 2-0 is probably 5-0, however it happens. In other words, this is a win-win for England.
* Delete as appropriate
53rd over: England 154-3 (Root 51, Malan 27) England need 200 more to win.
“Root has such an opportunity to play a career-defining innings,” says Andrew Hurley. “If he stays there, England win.”
Yeah, if England win this will be one of the great victories, to be immortalised as, erm, “Headingley 81 for the OBO generation”. I still think Australia are strong favourites. But if England are three down at the close, I’ll not sleep a wink this afternoon!
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52nd over: England 151-3 (Root 51, Malan 25) A wide half-volley from Starc is squirted for four by Malan, which brings up the fifty partnership. The next ball is inside-edged past the stumps for four more. Malan has been the antonym of fluent but his innings has been perversely admirable because of that. The last ball of the over is pulled smoothly for four more by Malan. Fourteen from the over!
I’m too old for all this hope.
“Hi there,” says Barry Downard. “Re: Robert Wilson’s man-love of Robin Smith in the 40th over… as you are no doubt aware, Robin Smith was born in Durban, SA. In the early ’70’s, the Smiths lived about 4 houses up the road from me, and just about every morning you could hear the sound of bat on ball as father Smith and the two sons got to practice in the big net set-up in their garden. This often started shortly after sunrise (04h30 in summer). Totally dedicated to the game.”
Yes, I think some of the neighbours complained that people were chopping wood at 5am. Turned out the Judge was practising the square cut.
51st over: England 137-3 (Root 51, Malan 11) Root, trying to pull a delivery from Lyon that was too full for the short, inside-edges just wide of the diving short leg. This is exquisitely tense. The smart money is still on Lyon winning the match, but England are still brawling.
50th over: England 134-3 (Root 50, Malan 9) A double bowling change, with Starc replacing the very impressive Cummins (11-5-15-0). Root back-cuts superbly for four to reach a fine fifty, full of grit, class and intent, from 78 balls. There are 17 overs remaining today. England can afford to lose one wicket at the most, but only if it’s Malan rather than Root.
“How should they attack Lyon?” sa ys Andrew Hurley. “Use their feet, come down the pitch, the usual ways - are they doing that enough? Lyon is good, but he’s not that good and certainly he shouldn’t be bowling at 1.5 an over in these conditions.”
Elsewhere in the world...
49th over: England 128-3 (Root 45, Malan 8) Nathan Lyon replaces Josh Hazlewood. Even under lights, he has felt like the biggest threat - and he has Malan dropped second ball. It was an absolute beauty, similar to the ball that dismissed Malan in the second innings of the first Test. Malan edged it low to the right of Smith, who couldn’t hang on to a very sharp chance. The walls are closing in on Malan, who has eight from 50 balls.
“Look, it’s perfectly simple,” says Phil Sawyer. “If you’re from Lancashire, lunch is dinner and dinner is tea. Breakfast is the remains of last night’s bottle. Admittedly, that may be a Sawyer, rather than a Lancashire, thing.”
48th over: England 125-3 (Root 45, Malan 8) Malan is getting a fair working-over from Cummins. He inside-edges a sharp delivery into his box, aborts a pull shot at a wide bouncer and eventually emerges unscathed from another superb maiden.
Re Vince: any batsman whose back foot retreats onto or outside legstump and plays defensively to extra cover with half a bat is not a Test match batsman .
— mike selvey (@selvecricket) December 5, 2017
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47th over: England 125-3 (Root 45, Malan 8) Hazlewood strays onto Root’s pads with consecutive deliveries, both of which are clipped crisply for four. Root’s innings is almost certainly an exercise in futility but it’s been really admirable stuff.
“Andrew Hurley (39th over) should be a coach,” says Matt Dony. “‘Right, all you’ve got to do is run faster than Bolt.’ Perfect. ‘Lads, stop Messi from scoring, and you’ll win.’ Inspired. Lyon has been controlling England’s innings as well as almost any spinner. I’d love to see runs from his overs, but, frankly, he is currently playing better than England’s batsmen. And, in truth, probably better than most batsmen are capable of.”
I’d love to hear them talk about it, why they have felt unable to hit him down the ground or slog-sweep. The bounce he gets makes him very awkward to face.
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Who needs a drinks break?
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46th over: England 117-3 (Root 37, Malan 8) Cummins switches over the wicket to Malan, who drives handsomely through extra cover for four. I’m still not sure Malan is good enough for Test cricket but I do think he has a better mental approach than most of this England batting line-up. He’s one of the few who’s willing to do the hard yards. Cummins, affronted by being driven for four, thumps a superb short delivery into Malan’s wrist and follows up with an even better throat ball that takes the glove and plops safely short of the man at short leg.
“It is only dinner if you have wine with it,” says Dan Levy. “Otherwise it is tea. Perhaps Australia should have dinner and England should have tea.”
Tell it to Harold Larwood.
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45th over: England 113-3 (Root 37, Malan 4) The scoreboard is stuck, with only seven runs coming from the last seven overs. Make that 11 runs from the last 7.3 overs after a rare loose delivery from Hazlewood to Malan that goes for four leg-byes. The strokeless Malan seems intent on surviving until tomorrow afternoon; he has four from 34 balls.
“Kohli has hit five tons in Australia in eight Tests,” says Deepak Rao. He has, that’s true, but he hasn’t yet scored any at Perth or Brisbane, where conditions are most alien. He’s an astonishing player, don’t get me wrong; I just think he has more to prove overseas than Smith.
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44th over: England 108-3 (Root 37, Malan 3) This is such a good battle between Cummins and Root, who plays out another maiden. He clearly wants to attack but Cummins is giving him nothing.
“Morning Rob,” says Pete Salmon. “Vince’s dismissal reminds me of a Jack Handey quote: ‘If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that’s another weakness.’ He’s also good on the state of the match: ‘If you’re being chased by an angry bull, and then you notice you’re also being chased by a swarm of bees, it doesn’t really change things. Just keep running.’”
I’m sure that last quote was Danny Dyer.
43rd over: England 108-3 (Root 37, Malan 3) I wonder whether knowing a team has no reviews left might impact upon an umpire’s subconscious. We may find out in this innings.
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REVIEW! England 108-3 (Malan not out 3)
It was going over the top of the stumps. Australia have lost two reviews in two balls and won’t be able to refer anything else in this innings. The first was a fair review, the second was an absolute shocker, both because of the appeal - it looked high - and the identity of the batsman.
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AUSTRALIA REVIEW AGAINST MALAN!
Australia are risking their last review on an LBW appeal by Hazlewood and against Malan. It was given not out and looks a bit high.
42nd over: England 108-3 (Root 38, Malan 3) That was some delivery from Cummins, a huge inducker that roared past Root’s inside edge. It was also a spectacular catch to his left from Paine, who has recovered from that nervous start at the Gabba to keep beautifully.
REVIEW! England 107-3 (Root not out 38)
Root survives. It hit the back thigh rather than the outside edge.
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AUSTRALIA REVIEW AGAINST ROOT!
Cummins cuts Root in half with an awesome delivery, and Tim Paine takes a brilliant catch to his left. Australia appeal unseccessfully for caught behind but review it straight away.
41st over: England 107-3 (Root 37, Malan 2) Root slams a slog-sweep for four, only the second boundary off Lyon in 15 overs. Root is playing excellently after a nervous start, but there is still so much work to do. England, realistically, need to be three down at the close. You are strongly advised to not stake your last Rolo, never mind your mortgage, on that being the case.
“The commentators on BT Sport have spent all morning/day/evening talking up Nathan Lyon’s superb performances throughout 2017,” says Alex Gaywood. “Not a word though about his meagre haul of six wickets he took at 67.17 in four matches for Worcestershire last summer though. Second division of the County Championship; where the men are truly sorted from the boys.”
It’s not a finishing school; it’s where careers are finished.
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40th over: England 103-3 (Root 33, Malan 2) Thanks for all the emails, most of which I haven’t yet had chance to read because it’s all so damn tense. Cummins looks very dangerous, particularly from around the wicket to Malan. Another maiden, which leaves Malan on two from 18 balls. Patience, Dawid.
“Dear Rob,” says Robert Wilson. “I hate to pull rank or anything like that but nobody gets to rhapsodise about Robin Smith without me getting first dibs. ESPECIALLY about that square cut (the forearms too, come to think of it). In cricket, there have been many epitomes and zeniths but the sociopathic broadsword of a square cut that Smith rocked actually extended the boundaries of the possible. I saw him do it in person - those one-bounce fours that never went above shoulder height and cracked into the advertising boards like something out of a sniper’s rifle. You felt it rather than heard it. Somewhere in your coccyx. Robin Smith wasn’t a cricketer. He was a pirate. I once had a dream about him which I will never reveal.”
39th over: England 103-3 (Root 32, Malan 2) “England have to attack Lyon, or at least more than they are,” says Andrew Hurley. “With only four bowlers and Lyon going at 1.5 an over, Smith can give a long rest to each paceman. They need to get him out of his rhythm. The chase is doable.”
I agree in theory, but how? Even Moeen, England’s best attacker of spin, has been in his pocket so far. Malan has used his feet a little against Lyon, and he does so again to drive a single down the ground.
38th over: England 101-3 (Root 32, Malan 1) This is getting very tricky for England. Malan is beaten, pushing at a beauty from Cummins, and then drags a thick inside edge into the leg side. Thta was an excellent maiden. As in 2013-14, there is no respite against this superb Australian attack.
“Breakfast/dinner option has to be a rice based dish,” says Phil Withall. “I’m cooking risotto at the moment but rice is a good breakfast choice (cold tin of rice pudding sets you up well).”
Rice for breakfast? Unsubscribe.
37th over: England 101-3 (Root 32, Malan 1) “Just how many overs do I have to endure, pretending to work but really every five seconds look at the OBO to see if Lyon & co have snagged another wicket,” says Lee Smith. “Just what do they call this precise type of torture?”
Being alive?
REVIEW! England 101-3 (Root not out 32)
Joe Root has an LBW decision overturned on review! It was such a strange incident. Root inexplicably padded up to a ball from Lyon that pitched on middle stump and was given out by Aleem Dar. He reviewed it, I suspect as much in hope as expectation, and replays showed it was bouncing over the stumps.
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36th over: England 96-3 (Root 28, Malan 0) Michael Vaughan, on BT Sport, apologises for any swearing on the stump mic, which reminds me of Sky’s bizarre apology last week. Pat Cummins replaces Starc, and his first ball is driven emphatically through extra cover for four by Root. He is playing with increasing authority. Cummins responds with a storming bouncer that forces Root to abort his provisional hook stroke.
“Just taken a glance at the India-SL Test where Kohli is filling his boots again against some buffet bowling,” says Kevin Wilson. “Have you seen his conversion rate in Tests? Nineteen hundreds and fourteen fifties! I know he plays 90% of his Tests at home on absolute roads but still... take a look Joe!”
I still think Kohli (as a Test batsman) and India are a little overrated. He’s a genius, NQAT, but the next year, when India visit South Africa, England and Australia, will tell us whether he’s the greatest Test batsman around. At the moment I’d definitely go for Steve Smith.
35th over: England 92-3 (Root 24, Malan 0) Root plays a back-defensive to Lyon, prompting Tim Paine to shout, “Shiiiit. We’re all up here boys, we’re all up here.” England are one quick wicket away from oblivion. Australia’s comeback from their false start has been so impressive: the last 27 overs have brought 58 runs and three wickets.
34th over: England 91-3 (Root 23, Malan 0) That wasn’t a great shot from Vince. In his defence the ball did burst through the top, but he has been out so often to the cover drive in his short Test career. Rarely has such a strength been such a weakness.
“England haven’t lived up to expectation,” says Kevin Guthrie. “They’ve got good batsmen and good bowlers.”
Yep, agreed. I think that, more than any Ashes series in Australia since the 1990-91, England will really regret missed opportunities (assuming they lose here).
WICKET! England 91-3 (Vince c Handscomb b Starc 15)
Oh dear. James Vince, who was playing with impressive patience, chases a very full, wide delivery from Starc and edges to second slip. Handscomb takes a smart catch and England are once again in the malodorous stuff.
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33rd over: England 90-2 (Vince 15, Root 22) Lyon’s angle to the right-handers, around the wickets, means Warner is a key man at leg slip. Root turns another delivery just short of him during another fine over from Lyon. His figures are 11-4-14-1.
“G’day Rob,” says Sarah Bacon. “Up since 2.42am (see Over 36), I’m feeling a tad more positive. That said, the hope - even in my wintry corner of Warwickshire - is palpable. While taking out the recycling crap just now, even the local milkman (yes, we have them, still) was grinning like a loon. Bless. It’s lovely to see. That the despair hasn’t overblown all thoughts of winning is heartening. It’s bloody stupid, but sweet to see.”
Are you sure he wasn’t just high on life or illegal narcotics?
32nd over: England 89-2 (Vince 15, Root 21) A quiet over, nowt to see here. “As much as I enjoy these day-night Tests, surely we can come up with something better than calling the evening session break ‘dinner’?” says John Phaceas. “Reminds me of Mum, calling me in from the backyard for a bang-up feast of fish fingers, peas and mash.”
They should clearly call it Gastrofest. I’d like to hear that word fall out of Geoffrey Boycott’s open face.
31st over: England 86-2 (Vince 15, Root 18) Root is intent on counter-attack, a risky approach but surely the right one in the circumstances. If the ball hoops round corners under lights he might hav to change his approach. Vince, meanwhile, flicks Lyon just wide of Warner at leg slip for three. It would be a superhuman catch, maybe even a Sobersian one.
“The loss of Cook to Nathan “The Barbarian” Lyon provoked a General Melchettesque howl of despair from my hospital bed, as on the news of Blackadder’s (aka the Pigeon Murderer of Flanders) shooting of his beloved little Jim(?),” says Brian Withington. “Lyon should be brought up on a charge of cruelty to southpaws, toying with them mercilessly until the final denouement. Let’s hope our two right-handers can stick to the script and bat until bedtime.”
Hospital bed? Are you okay? Please tell me you haven’t been hospitalised because of severe despair at England’s batting yesterday?
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30th over: England 81-2 (Vince 12, Root 16) Root has been playing Starc with his outside edge for much of this innings, and another one flies low between third slip and gully for four. The next ball is clipped through midwicket for three, a shot of much greater authority. Vince continues a good over for England - 11 from it - with a cover drive for three.
“Good morning,” says Tom Marlow. “I like crucial nighttime sessions. You like crucial nighttime sessions. Especially on a cold grey morning in Gothenburg.”
It’s pretty surreal, isn’t it. This is the fifth Ashes tour I’ve worked on – only two whitewashes so far!!! - and I still have no idea what you’re supposed to eat when it’s 7am in Britain and dinner time in Australia. I love the smell of chateaubriand in the morning, but it just feels so damn decadent.
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29th over: England 70-2 (Vince 9, Root 8) Nathan Lyon, who is still a generous 5/1 to be the leading wicket-taker in this series, starts the night-time session to Vince, who works a single behind square. Root forces a single into the covers to end Lyon’s ninth over. He still hasn’t gone for a boundary.
“Morning Rob,” says David Horn. “Are we seriously going to talk cricket love affairs and not mention The Judge? Forearms like mighty oaks, power to burn, a square cut to die for, and a taste for fast bowling that was such a tonic for those teams so used to being intimidated into meek subsidence. Combine it with a simmering sense of selectorial injustice and The Judge had it all. I started following cricket pre-Judge, but I really fell in love with it when he first batted with Allan Lamb. The Judge? Go ask your parents, whippersnappers. (And get off my lawn.)”
I’ll second that. He really should do an autobiography.
“In terms of fractions, we’re not too far off the pace,” says Tom Van der Gucht. “We’ve lost 1/5 of our wickets and with 68 runs being rounded up to 70 and 354 being rounded down to 350. 70/350 = 7/35 = 1/5 of the runs. Game on.”
In cricket, nothing says “we’re buggered” quite like resorting to fractions.
Dinner: England need 286 more to win runs with eight wickets in hand
28th over: England 68-2 (Vince 8, Root 7) Starc bowls the last over before dinner. Root edges another big drive which flies to gully on the bounce. He is not exactly oozing permanence at the crease, though I think he is right to try to counter-attack. England can’t win this by occupying the crease. A single brings Vince on strike and he punches a nice drive through mid-off for three.
That’s the end of a terrific session. England got off to a flyer before Australia, led by Lyon, pegged them back superbly: the last 20 overs of the session brought 32 runs and two wickets. See you in half an a hour for what will be - yep - a crucial nighttime session.
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27th over: England 64-2 (Vince 5, Root 6) The hell with two right-handers: Lyon is back on in place of Hazlewood. He goes straight around the wicket, an angle he has almost patented, and Vince defends diligently. It’s another maiden. Lyon has figures of 8-4-6-1. I know it’s not easy, but England are just waiting to die by his hand.
26th over: England 64-2 (Vince 5, Root 6) Lyon is taking a break, with two right-handers at the crease. Starc continues and gets some ominous inswing to Root, who defends a little uncomfortably and then chases a wide one that slips off a thick edge for four. That was a loose stroke. England cannot afford to lose another wicket in the ten minutes before dinner. They can barely afford to lose one in the two hours after it.
“In the Channel 9 commentary box we are gradually seeing the results of the pre-series tactics meeting,” says Ian Forth. “After years of yeoman sledging, Heals has been allowed to step up and become a normal analyst. Michael Clarke now has the unenviable role of Baggy Green Cheerleader In Chief. He probably doesn’t want to do it, but as the new kid on the block, it’s the equivalent of going under the lid at short leg.”
25th over: England 60-2 (Vince 5, Root 2) There is no pressure on Joe Root, for all he need do is play the greatest innings of his life if his team are to win. Australia have had some really good plans for him so far, extending his poor record in Australia (his average of 26.80 is barely half his career average of 52.93). Vince, meanwhile, sways elegantly out the way of a superb bouncer from Hazlewood. The next ball is a tempting half-volley that Vince drives sweetly through extra cover for four. Lovely shot. Risk and reward, for bowler and batsman.
“Good morning Rob,” says Lee Rodwell. “Do you think there’s ever been a series played between two sides with such fragile egos? It’s all sledge sledge sledge and double fistpumps right up until the moment the momentum turns even slightly and then the lower lips start trembling. I thought England were bad for this, but my word, the faces of Smith, Warner, Starc et al during the first 15 overs of England’s innings - you’d have thought they were minutes away from a 0-5 instead of massive favourites to go 2-0 up in the only Test anyone gave England even half a chance in.”
Whatever happened to Gary Cooper, eh?
24th over: England 55-2 (Vince 1, Root 1) England were 36 for none after eight overs. Since then they’ve made 19 for two in 16 overs; it’s been a pretty brilliant response from Australia after a difficult start to the innings.
“Hey Rob!” says Mittu Choudhary. “If love stories is what we are talking about, I fell in love with Alistair Cook when he first toured India in 2006, I think. As a teenager obsessed with Test cricket, his temperament in the series ensured that I would be always watching him out. Eleven years later now, I still cannot get enough of Cook, the batsman and the man. I even named my first cat after him!”
Is it Gideon Haigh who has a cat called Trumper? I always wanted a pet rat (who joined the sinking ship) called McCague.
WICKET! England 54-2 (Stoneman c Khawaja b Starc 36)
Starc replaces Lyon, who I guess will change ends, and slips a good delivery past Stoneman. England are under a lot of pressure at the moment - and now Stoneman has gone! He fenced outside off and edged to gully, where Khawaja took a smart low catch. Stoneman played nicely but was bogged down after a flying start.
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23rd over: England 54-1 (Stoneman 36, Vince 1) Hazlewood probes around off stump, inviting James Vince to self destruct. He doesn’t. Yet. A maiden.
22nd over: England 54-1 (Stoneman 36, Vince 1) Vince works Lyon round the corner to get off the mark. “If England decide to block Lyon at one end and bat time,” says Graeme Swann on BT Sport, “they will lose this game handsomely.”
“That Cook dismissal,” says Kim Thonger. “As always, P G Wodehouse describes it perfectly: ‘It’s always just when a fellow is feeling particularly braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with the bit of lead piping’.”
I thought that quote was from Danny Dyer?
21st over: England 53-1 (Stoneman 36, Vince 0) Lyon wasn’t particularly keen to review that LBW against Cook. Smith took it upon himself to do so, and it was an inspired decision. Cook will be annoyed because it was an absentminded flick across the line with his head falling over to the off side. Meanwhile, Stoneman leaves a ball from Hazlewood that whistles just past the off stump, and then flashes at a ball that whistles just past the top edge. The mood has changed enormously in the last half hour, mainly because of Lyon.
20th over: England 53-1 (Stoneman 36, Vince 0) Lyon has ten wickets in the series, nine of them left-handers. The new batsman is a right-hander, James Vince, and Lyon goes straight around the wicket to him. A wicket maiden from Lyon, who has brilliant figures of 6-3-5-1. England have to find a way to score off him if they are to get close to this target.
WICKET! England 53-1 (Cook LBW b Lyon 16)
He’s out! It pitched on middle and leg and turned sufficiently that it would have hit leg stump. That’s a terrific review from Australia, making up for their earlier mistake.
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AUSTRALIA REVIEW FOR LBW AGAINST COOK
England are merely trying to survive against Lyon, which is a dangerous game. Cook survives an LBW appeal after flicking across the line - but this time Smith is going to review. It’s pretty close, this.
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19th over: England 53-0 (Cook 16, Stoneman 36) Hazlewood angles a good delivery past Cook’s outside edge. Australia are starting to apply a bit of pressure. England can probably afford to lose three wickets tonight; any more than that and Australia will be strong favourites.
“Here’s my Jimmy love story,” says Aditi Aditi. “It began with India’s tour of England in 2011. So I have followed cricket since the 1996 World Cup, but never really understood the mysteries of swing bowling. Come 2011, I sat down and watched the Test matches conscientiously. Was I mesmerized! Anderson’s bowling unlocked the enigma of swing for me. Everything suddenly became crystal clear and violins started playing. Gasp, I even understood what exactly is reverse swing. Ever since then he has been my favourite bowler. Carry on Jimmy.”
18th over: England 52-0 (Cook 15, Stoneman 36) Stoneman top-edges a sweep off Lyon that lands millimetres short of Hazlewood, swooping forward from long leg. It might have been a dropped catch actually; it’s very hard to tell. What’s abundantly clear is that England, particularly the left-handers, have a major problem with Lyon. Later in the over Stoneman bottom edges a ball that bounces up just past the off stump and hits Tim Paine in a tender area. Another quite superb over from Lyon.
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17th over: England 50-0 (Cook 14, Stoneman 35) Hazlewood returns to the attack. Stoneman, flashing wantonly outside off stump, inside-edges wide of the stumps for two. A nice back-foot drive for a single brings up an excellent fifty partnership. The daft buggers have only gone and given us hope!
“Would England fans prefer to get hammered with no hope or to make a good fist of it, keep their hopes up and then lose?” wonders Shankar Mony.
I can’t speak for a nation; modesty prevents me from doing that. But I have always preferred abject humiliation to noble defeat (see John Cleese video below).
16th over: England 46-0 (Cook 13, Stoneman 32) “Awww Gary, that’s so good,” drawls Tim Paine as Lyon works away at Cook and Stoneman. He should - should - be Australia’s matchwinner here, particularly with so many left-handers in England line-up. Eight of his nine wickets in the series so far have been southpaws.
15th over: England 45-0 (Cook 12, Stoneman 32) Last over before drinks, and in turn, last over before I hand the OBO over to the master of this craft, Rob Smyth. I feel like I always say something like that, but I’m a bit of a fanboy of his. I would never have the ticker to say it to him personally, so here I am laying it out there to you. The over, you ask? Cummins wins a false stroke from Cook to begin, an extra bit of pace on the hip. He doesn’t quite get it where he wants, behind square in the air, but he’s off strike now. Stoneman defends and leaves in sequence for the final five deliveries. As Umpire Gaffney calls DRINKS. Fantastic hour for the visitors. Got lucky when Hazlewood didn’t get the chance to send upstairs an LBW shout that trapped Cook before scoring, but then Stoneham got moving and Cook followed suit. Happy days for them. For now.
Righto, I’m off to write. Rob to pick it up with Nathan Lyon bowling from the Riverbank End. Till next time. Bye!
Bairstow heading the winning runs here would be >>>>> #Ashes
— Vithushan Ehantharajah (@Vitu_E) December 5, 2017
Thanks Adam, hello everyone. Now look, I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t greet England supporters with this.
14th over: England 44-0 (Cook 11, Stoneman 32) Lyon to Cook. I really enjoy the contest between these two. They put on a wonderful show at The Oval in 2015. Was all tracking wonderfully under Steve Smith ended up getting him on the cusp on stumps. Still, wrote the piece anyway. Of course, Lyon nabbed Cook’s outside edge in the first dig here - the sixth time in 15 Tests he’s come out on top in their stoushes. Cook kicks one beyond short leg in this set, the only strike rotation. The off-breaker throws it up with ample air to Stoneman, but he’s happy to defend. Considering Lyon has taken 28 wickets against southpaws at 12.5 a pop this year, probably a good shout.
13th over: England 43-0 (Cook 11, Stoneman 32) Stoneman into the 30s with a flash through the gully off the back foot. Probably better than a flash on reflection, looked in control on the replay. Well struck. “But Cummins won’t mind that,” Katich responds on the radio. An otherwise effective over from Cummins, who dropped back a yard or two in order to test the opener out on the back foot.
CricViz had Aus 88% at the start of the innings. Now down to 80%, Eng, prev 4%, now 20%. The draw is out of the picture.
— Ric Finlay (@RicFinlay) December 5, 2017
12th over: England 39-0 (Cook 11, Stoneman 28) Lyon right in the game here. HUGE shout for leg before when Cook launched into a sweep and misses. But not completely missed, Lyon saying they shouldn’t review because the opener hit it. He then beats him with another gorgeous off-break. Outstanding maiden there.
“Given the accepted wisdom that it’s the hope that kills you,” starts David Maloney, “I am currently surfing (what I assume) are near death experience levels of hope. Every Stoneman stylish shot drives logic and reason further from my grasp. WE ARE ‘AVING THIS. By way of forward planning I have told my loved ones my whearabouts this morning and what action they should take should I be found slumped and sobbing into my granola pot around 8ish. Love it whilst it lasts.”
The sort of text that could appear on one of those inspirational instagram post.
Top-notch twitter work from Daniel Forman:
@collinsadam not that I'm getting carried away, but wondering if OBOers have any suggestions for who would play Stoneman in the film of this (Rocky 6?)
— Daniel Forman (@dannyforman) December 5, 2017
HAS PAINE STUMPED COOK? No he has not. His foot never came off the ground. Quick gloves from Paine, and a lovely delivery from Lyon, but the opener keeps his toe where it needed to be at the vital moment. Not out signalled by the third umpire.
11th over: England 39-0 (Cook 11, Stoneman 28) Vaguely back to normal programming with Cummins. Very accurate. “None for 39 is a long way from 1/1” says Gerard Whateley on ABC. “It was an amazing decision not to review,” adds Simon Katich. “They were adamant it should have been given out, so why not review it?” Cook keeps the strike with a single behind square leg to the last ball.
This is exactly why we needed to bat for a while this arvo. Doubt England start this well against the new ball under lights. #Ashes
— Ethan (@ethan_meldrum) December 5, 2017
England cannot let Lyon dictate like he has the whole series. Need to give him something to think about. See off an over then attack...
— Chris Stocks (@StocksC_cricket) December 5, 2017
Lyon on for the 10th over. England will need to find ways to score off him successfully if they're going to get close, you'd think #Ashes
— Daniel Brettig (@danbrettig) December 5, 2017
— Charles Dagnall (@CharlesDagnall) December 5, 2017
10th over: England 38-0 (Cook 10, Stoneman 28) Nathan Nathan-Lyon into the attack in the place of Hazlewood now. Another understandable change. A lot of confidence from Stoneman to take Lyon past slip from very close to his off-stump. No issues there though, timing it nicely for a couple. He’s happier on the back foot in this first Lyon set, the off-spinner a tad short. But he’ll quickly find his range.
9th over: England 36-0 (Cook 10, Stoneman 26) No surpises here: Pat Cummins is on to replace Starc. Cook is very happy in defence and watching on here. After the start they have got, he can afford to consolidate against the ever so accurate right-armer. Maiden.
8th over: England 36-0 (Cook 10, Stoneman 26) Stoneman and Cook are UP AND ABOUT, make no mistake about it. For the second time in this innings they have found the boundary three times in an over. This time off Hazlewood. Cook first, pulling his second four. Lucky to survive the lbw shout before scoring off the same bowler, making the most of the reprieve now. Turning the strike to Stoneman, he squeezes out four more through the cordon. Not as pretty, but it’ll do. To the last ball it is shot of the day stuff, on-driving a half-volley.
Cricket Australia spokesman behind me announces that with 22,000 currently in the ground, they now have beaten the all-time Test attendance record at Adelaide Oval.
“We’re wondering if Steve Smith’s new nickname will be Hewson as in John Hewson if Australia lose this Test?” asks Lee Henderson. That’s so niche but I’m into. Shall we have a bit of PJK on Hewson in the House of Reps before that election? Yes.
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7th over: England 22-0 (Cook 5, Stoneman 17) Chef’s turn, pulling Starc through midwicket. Not even that short, but he is happy to get into the groove with Stoneman. Allowed to leave the next three alone. “Bowls to the left...” sing the Barmy Army at Starc from the Hill. Cheeky.
6th over: England 18-0 (Cook 1, Stoneman 17) How about the confidence of Stoneman? Ends the over with a lovely drive down the ground off Hazlewood, after defending and leaving confidently throughout.
“This situation takes me back to my younger days,” writes Phil Withall. “The hope that I felt as I prepared to go out on a Saturday night, the slightest glimmer that my lonely, single life would be transformed by finding the one. It would inevitably end in disappointment and further self loathing but there was always the hope.”
To that end, see Liew’s stat below. But still. Let’s just ride this one out.
In the last decade, England have been set 350+ to win 15 times. Not only have they never won, they've never got within 100 of the target.
— Jonathan Liew (@jonathanliew) December 5, 2017
5th over: England 16-0 (Cook 1, Stoneman 15) “4-1! We’re going to win 4-1!” chant the Barmy Army as Stoneman hits Starc to the rope three times in a row! Completely against the flow of play. First, a beautifully timed flick through midwicket. Next, through the same region but in the air, prompting a cry of catch but there is no-one there. The third is through there too, back along the carpet. Fantastic counterattacking cricket. Starc, belatedly perhaps, goes upstairs. But back onto the stumps for the last ball, Stoneham clips for a fourth time in the over, albeit not quite to the boundary. 15 (!) from the over.
4th over: England 1-0 (Cook 1, Stoneman 0) Oh no! Hazlewood traps Cook on the crease with a delivery sloping back into the left-hander viciously. The appeal is massive but they elect not to upstairs. TV quickly finds that this was a bad call from the fielding team, as it was going on to hit the leg-stump. Smashing, actually: three reds. The former England survives and Smith is filthy. Cook is able to leave a couple later in the over, but Hazlewood is in superb nick here. So is Starc. Who’d want to be an opening bat?
I know there's only a 0.0001% chance of this going our way (especially given Starc's last over) @collinsadam but at least we've restored some pride after the first innings farrago. Perhaps until we disintegrate under lights. We're never boring!
— Guy Hornsby (@GuyHornsby) December 5, 2017
3rd over: England 1-0 (Cook 1, Stoneman 0) Starc has it hoooooping. Huge swing down to Stoneman, already nearing top speed as well. Not once but twice but thrice the England opener plays and misses outside his off-stump. Starc at his absolute best. Very unlucky not to be in the book. Cracking stat here, probably via Andrew Samson.
WORLD RECORD.
— Test Match Special (@bbctms) December 5, 2017
Australia's 138 is the highest ever Test total where no player scored more than 20+ #bbccricket #ashes pic.twitter.com/BYYHBwZTgO
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2nd over: England 1-0 (Cook 1, Stoneman 0) Hazlewood immediately into his happy place. Cook has to answer a question to each of these deliveries, moving the ball both ways off the seam. This is the bowler that Australian fans have grown to love over the last couple of years. Maiden it is.
“Morning Adam.” G’day Adam in Brum. “Hope Threat Level is at Lethal- The Good news being that Cook will do his normal & get out cheaply, as is his won’t in situations like this & that hope will be gone by 6:30am UK time.”
A four-day finish with Australia going two-up has to be the most likely scenario with 66 overs scheduled this evening before stumps. But let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves.
Updated
1st over: England 1-0 (Cook 1, Stoneman 0) The Barmies give it a big ol’ Jerusalem as Mitch Starc starts his work from the Cathedral End. Cook into his work with a push into cover for a single. Earlier in the over pulled nicely enough to, albeit straight to Marsh. Chris Rogers on radio says he would “put his house” on Australia. Spoke briefly to Wisden editor Lawrence Booth at the innings break who gave England a 1/1000 chance.
Joe Burns has made 202* for Queensland.
— Neroli Meadows (@Neroli_M_FOX) December 5, 2017
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Let’s race through some of those emails...
“Jimmy now has a 5 for in Aus, to go along with those in 5 other test playing countries, England, WI, SA, SL & NZ. Has anyone got them in more countries?,” asks Andrew Turner. “Maybe one of the 4 who have them against all 9 (Jimmy doesn’t have one against Bangladesh...) Shakib Al Hasan, Steyn, Muralidaran and Herath?”
I’ll throw that out to the OBO community. But I’m tipping Murali will be the only other?
“Afternoon/morning, Adam.” Hi Gervase Greene. “Is it just me or would others be rather disappointed with Stuart Broad’s performance? Starting with Joe Root perhaps...
Given he is the opening bowler in a match where his skipper sent the others in, and that he also had a veritable shooting gallery to play in during last night’s amazing session, a total return of two wickets in two innings - neither of them top-order batsmen - would seem rather paltry. I like Broad a lot, but he’s not what he was.”
Harsh. He couldn’t have done a lot more this morning. Sorry, I mean, afternoon. I’ve been to six of the seven pink-ball Tests , and that is never going to come naturally.
A reminder from James Irving: “Anderson and Broad didn’t get to cash in on bowling against England either which McGrath and Warne did to the tune of a scarcely believable 352 wickets between them.”
Brian Withingon is in the wars. “Following OBO from an NHS surgical assessment ward was not quite what I had in mind for this test match, but needs must. Contemplating an unwelcomely invasive “pitch inspection” in the morning is not a fun prospect either, so I’m looking for some cricketing inspiration from England. A Lazarus like revival seems apposite, however improbable. Fingers (and legs) crossed for the morrow!”
Be well quick, Brian! You’re essential company in these parts.
“I was asked to not hope,” writes Venugopal Mani. “Looks like there is life in the old dog after all. Hats off Jimmy. Whoever doubts this great bowler are hopefully eating their humble pie now.”
Trust me, they are out there. Neatly in the Venn Diagram with those who don’t believe in climate change.
“I think you mean Australia have 5 sessions in which to take 10 english wickets,” says Nicholas Butt, before swearing at me. Clearly doesn’t understand how these things are presented before a fourth innings chase. Go well, champion.
“Drunk Jonny Depp is ok,” says Ian Johnston of my lookalike. “I get told I look like Quentin Tarantino. I know I’m ugly but people should have a heart.”
THE PLAYERS... ARE BACK... ON THE FIELD.
WICKET! Hazlewood c Malan b Overton 3 (Australia all out 138)
Overton at last gets a bowl in the session and takes six balls to win Hazlewood’s edge, prodded to the gully. And that’s it! Six wickets in the 150 minute session, England doing exactly as they needed to this afternoon. They need 354 to win when returning in 20 minutes after knocking over the hosts in 58 overs. Anderson leads them off, holding the pink ball aloft with the analysis 22-7-43-5, his 25th five-wicket bag in Tests. Woakes was also excellent with 4/36. For Australia, no one made more than 20. What a messy misadventure that was. Still, due to the hard work earlier in the Test they have ample to play with as England try and break a number of fourth innings records.
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57th over: Australia 135-9 (Cummins 9, Hazlewood 2) The local crowd cheer each of Australia’s three singles in the over, putting the lead above 350. A couple through the off side then Cummins again keeps the strike with a tuck out to square leg.
“Doubt England have more than another five overs to finish Australia off to retain even the faintest glimmer of winning this,” Peter Black predicts. “Facing Stark and Cummins after the dinner interval with the ball less than 20 overs old would see this comfortably wrapped up tonight.”
56th over: Australia 132-9 (Cummins 7, Hazlewood 1) Can Woakes get five a well? Would be a worthy outcome for him to split the ten with Anderson. Hazlewood off the mark first ball past point. Good outcome for Australia, Cummins by far the better of the two in this final stand. Barmy Army are up and about! First time I have heard the “We are the Army, the Barmy Army” chant for the whole tour, I reckon? No final wicket in this set, but some unorthdox strokes. Cummins wants to take on the short ball, fails to make contact. Does so to finish off, a fat top edge running away behind the keeper for three. Keeps the strike for that, too. Some gentle trolling from Dave here, in response to the heavy trolling Jimmy gets from some of the weirder corners of the internet.
James Anderson easily the worst bowler ever to take 514 Test wickets at 27 imo.
— Dave Tickner (@tickerscricket) December 5, 2017
55th over: Australia 128-9 (Cummins 4, Hazlewood 0) “Deserved applause for England’s great fast bowler,” Jim Maxwell says as the Barmy Army give Anderson a wonderful ovation at the conclusion of the over. Amusingly, Jimmy bowls four bouncers on the trot to Cummins to finish the over.
WICKET! Starc c Moeen b Anderson 20 (Australia 128-9)
There you go, Jimmy! Starc once again slices high in the air, Moeen does the rest. Anderson, at long last, has a five-for in Australia. True champion of the game.
54th over: Australia 126-8 (Starc 18, Cummins 4) Woakes sends down a belt-and-braces maiden to Cummins, who is happy in defence.
53rd over: Australia 126-8 (Starc 18, Cummins 4) Anderson back from the Cathedral End. Sent down 19 overs earlier in the innings for four wickets. A big chance to grab his first five-wicket bag in Australia. And nearly does! Starc big leading edge but doesn’t go far so the bowler races down the track to try and grab it himself. He makes all the ground then drops the catch while hitting the deck hard when diving. Massive hole in his trousers from when he crashed into the stumps to make matters worse. Would all be worth it had he taken the chance. Instead, that will hurt. But he looks okay when making his way back down to fine leg. Earlier, Cummins picked up three through cover with a well-timed push. He really is wonderful nick with the bat.
Did Starc obstruct the field by getting in Anderson’s way? The radio commentary ponders that. But all academic, as they say.
As @GeorgeDobell1 points out, no bowler has ever been closer to a five-for without getting one than Anderson there #Ashes
— Daniel Brettig (@danbrettig) December 5, 2017
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52nd over: Australia 123-8 (Starc 18, Cummins 1) Cummins immediately striking with the middle of his bat. Then tickles one find to get off the mark and keep the strike.
A while ago now, but worth showing you the Overton snaffle from earlier.
"Catch it, catch it, catch it!"
— The Ashes on BT Sport (@btsportcricket) December 5, 2017
A brilliant grab in the deep by Craig Overton, who has been really impressive on debut.
Tim Paine goes and Chris Woakes has three wickets.
90-7 (305 ahead)#Ashes pic.twitter.com/DaoA2cMdRp
WICKET! Marsh b Woakes 19 (Australia 122-8)
And there is it! Just when Marsh and Starc were getting away a bit, Woakes responds with a full delivery that sneaks through the gate, via an inside edge. Four wickets for him now. Excellent fightback after a trying week in Brisbane and a lack of luck in the first dig here.
51st over: Australia 122-7 (Marsh 19, Starc 18) Big over for Australia. Marsh briliant, takes on Moeen and through extra cover he finds a gap. Boundaries from back to back balls, that makes it. Starc finally nails one when he gets his chance, heaving the off-spinner into the crowd at midwicket! That’ll do. This partnership getting a bit annoying for the tourists, who would do anything to finish this off before tea.
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50th over: Australia 111-7 (Marsh 14, Starc 12) Woakes vs Marsh. Defending so well, then clipping to midwicket. Takes one despite not quite finding the gap, aggressive and effective running. Starc has another way of adding to the lead: slapping as hard as he can. Doesn’t get the part of the bat he wanted, a top edge, but they all look the same in the book. A rare boundary for the home side so far today.
Speaking of TV, Warne is doing his “they have plenty” routine.
#DeclarationSpeculation https://t.co/lGGp4iOqmP
— Daniel Brettig (@danbrettig) December 5, 2017
49th over: Australia 106-7 (Marsh 13, Starc 8) Marsh is well forward throughout to Moeen, coming at him around the wicket. Retains the strike with a push away from his body into the off side. Good batting.
“So yesterday Michael Clarke was criticisng England’s collapse, citing the best betting conditions we will see, and today Michael Slater is defending Australia’s saying how hard it it to bat,” Alistair Gillett writes. “Has it really changed that much in 24 hours, or is this just crass patriarchy on local commentary?”
I actually quite like Clarke on the TV call. But it is also fair to say that he really thinks Australia are in a wonderful position an awful lot of the time.
48th over: Australia 105-7 (Marsh 12, Starc 8) Confusion! Starc chips over Woakes’ head for a couple, and looks for a third. Marsh sends him back, but the call isn’t clear. The big fast bowler just back before it got ugly. Simon Katich notes on the radio that Marsh is the quietest man he ever played with. Was run out here two years ago, blamed then for his timid calling. Hard to criticise the bloke though, he’s doing a fine job.
Aditi Capam is in familar OBO ground. “If ever a biopic is made on Dawid Malan, I think he could be played by Michael Fassbender,” he reckons. “The two look uncannily alike. They also have the right sort of face to play Dracula, don’t you think?”
Feels like the right time to say that Australian seamer Megan Schutt tweeted the other day that I look like a chap by the name of G-Eazy. Better than a drunk Johnny Depp, another I’ve had of late. Or is it???
47th over: Australia 103-7 (Marsh 12, Starc 6) A little look last ball of Moeen’s over at a stumping shout, Marsh beaten on the outside edge. “A rare time he’s beaten the bat,” notes Simon Katich on ABC. True, that. Anyway, he’s not out and no-one in the England team really thought he was either. Starc was better earlier in the over, tucking three away to fine leg. Marsh went down that way as well, for two more. Australia’s (scratchy) 100 is up.
46th over: Australia 98-7 (Marsh 10, Starc 3) Shoooot. Marsh has played conservatively to now, but with a bit of width from Woakes he leans back and wallops over backward point. Earlier in the over Starc went just as hard, trying to flog back over the bowlers’ head, but only got enough on it to slice over cover. For the second time in as many overs, fortunate not to give it away. He’s been tweeting of late that Cummins can leap-frog him into the number eight position in the batting order any time he likes. There is a case for that. Starc has a very good record, but this isn’t the time for the long-handle, is it?
England have fought valiantly in this third innings, but they're still well behind in the match. #Ashes pic.twitter.com/dJpTgYwGFW
— The Cricket Prof. (@CricProf) December 5, 2017
45th over: Australia 92-7 (Marsh 5, Starc 2) Moeen is doing his bit. Starc is far from convincing, lucky that his edge doesn’t end up in the hands of first slip.
There have only been 30 successful 300+ chases in all of Test history. But two of the 30 have happened this year. #Ashes
— Brydon Coverdale (@brydoncoverdale) December 5, 2017
44th over: Australia 90-7 (Marsh 5, Starc 0) Woakes completes his wicket maiden to Marsh (they crossed) with a block then a leave. Once again has a job to do, the West Australian. Sure, they have a massive lead in the context of a pink-ball Test. But still. The door is very much ajar. And that is not for nothing considering the shambles that was England’s first dig.
With all the action I’m a bit behind on your emails. Do forgive me. One from Robert Wilson, adding to our earlier chat. “James Lane’s remarks (35th Over) were beautifully-written but unhelpful, student-ignoring Jake Busan (same over) is an ethical pygmy and poor Sarah Bacon (36th) is, quite literally, asking for trouble. Apart from that, all’s well.”
WICKET! Paine c Overton b Woakes 11 (Australia 90-7)
Excellent catch from the man on debut! “He’s used to the swirling winds of Instow” says Vic Marks next to me, and he would know. Running around from long leg, Overton had plenty of ground to make before diving. Expertly done. Well bowled Woakes too, setting Paine up with a couple of full balls at the stumps before going upstairs. England’s third wicket of the morning, the local lead 305. Hmmmmm.
43rd over: Australia 90-6 (Marsh 5, Paine 11) Moeen’s turn. How will he go? Can he get any turn this time around? What’s the go with the cut on his finger? Let’s have a look. Finds his range to Paine quickly enough, but the batsman is able to get on the front foot and score through the gap at cover for one. Good flight to finish, prompting an expansive stroke from Marsh but clipping an inside edge rather than the middle of the bat. Encouraging enough to begin.
Peter Siddle Watch.
“The last two Tests are probably going to be more my type of wickets and where my chances are at." @petersiddle403 on his #Ashes hopes | https://t.co/EWsd8YuzdD | #SENMornings pic.twitter.com/wWssmv8reV
— SEN 1116 (@SENNews) December 5, 2017
42nd over: Australia 89-6 (Marsh 5, Paine 10) Woakes has the last before the drinks break. And he gets one jagging back into the left-hander Marsh, beating him on the inside edge. Other than that, Marsh looking very much on it. Neglected to mention a couple of overs ago, the overthrows pushed Australia’s lead beyond 300. Now 304, as they take a brief breather while grabbing a cup of cordial.
Lyon on the follow-on to @abcgrandstand #Ashes pic.twitter.com/LbreNPuxqX
— Daniel Brettig (@danbrettig) December 5, 2017
Updated
41st over: Australia 89-6 (Marsh 5, Paine 10) Anderson a touch less potent this time around, Marsh seeing off the majority before picking another single off his hip. Five runs for him in the innings, all made in similar fashion.
Remarkable control from Marsh. He's played just 4% false shots, less than a third of the global average. #Ashes
— The Cricket Prof. (@CricProf) December 5, 2017
40th over: Australia 88-6 (Marsh 4, Paine 10) Woakes gets a go now, replacing Broad from the City End. Marsh takes another single behind square to begin. Doing that with ease so far. The new bowler finds Paine’s edge, to ground. But the real action of the over is when the newer of the two men bunts into the posh side and gives it the old ‘yes, no maybe?’ at his partner Marsh. Some scampering is required, the throw is taken, but Broad fails to back up adequately so Paine ultimately gets four overthrows for his error. Great game like that, cricket.
39th over: Australia 83-6 (Marsh 3, Paine 6) Anderson again, and he keeps generating ample movement. Paine grabs a couple through midwicket to finish. Has bowled 18 of the 39 overs so far.
James Anderson and Stuart Broad - 760 wkts from 99 Tests together
— Ali Martin (@Cricket_Ali) December 5, 2017
Only seam pair above them: Walsh & Ambrose - 762 in 95
McGrath/Warne (1,001/104) Murali/Vaas (895/95), only two above them...
38th over: Australia 81-6 (Marsh 3, Paine 4) Broad goes again. Cool conditions outside, so the two champions can keep pushing. Marsh is able to let a couple go, but forced to play the rest. Soft hands, good batting. Maiden.
“Enjoying your work today!” says Alistair Gillett. We live to give. “Kevin Pietersen is on Ch 9 getting stuck in to Peter Handscomb’s technique. Wonder what the Melbourne Stars dressing room will be like come Big Bash time?” I put to Handscomb before the Test the scrutiny over his technique at Brisbane. Fair to say he couldn’t have cared less.
37th over: Australia 81-6 (Marsh 3, Paine 4) Attention shifting to Jimmy for not having claimed a Test five-for in Australia. Nearly gets one first ball here! Paine beaten with another beaut. He makes contact through cover two balls later, finding the gap and three runs. Marsh’s turn. Quick single to finish, Crane on it quick at mid-off but his shy misses. Probably just home even had he hit direct.
Brian Withington has a view about the amended DRS rule, where umpire’s call decisions don’t burn a review. “Am I alone in thinking that retaining a review for a batsman on “umpire’s call” is mistaken logic?,” he emails. “Such a review shows the batsman was out but it was a close-ish call. There is no margin in the umpire’s favour if the ball is shown to be missing, however narrowly. Whereas a fielding side review that is frustrated by umpire’s call has genuine grounds for retaining the life because the batsman “should have” been given out. Discuss.”
Lesser of two evils, for mine.
36th over: Australia 77-6 (Marsh 2, Paine 1) Another nice clip from Shaun Marsh. Different gravy this week, this bloke. Paine does likewise later in the Broad over. No worries for him so far. These two put on a clutch stand on Sunday. Degree of difficulty just as high at the moment against some world-class seam bowling.
“I swore black and blue I was going to have a proper night’s sleep, and just wake to whatever result awaited me at 6am,” Sarah Bacon, you shouldn’t say things like that during an Ashes series. “But it’s beyond my control. Despite a heinously busy day of packing for this weekend’s European rugby championship in France (La Rochelle, in case you wondered), I awoke bright as a button at 2.42am! So. It is what it is. Coffee is being inhaled. And If this means I’m to be subjected to several hours of crowing English commentary along the same lines as yesterday, I’ll survive. I may be an Aussie happy living in the UK, but it’s not like Australia could actually lose this one. Is it? We can’t … surely…”
The very fact that the conversation is heading in this direction is an advance. A proper scrap. It’s what we want. All the way to Sydney in January. Are you with me?
35th over: Australia 75-6 (Marsh 1, Paine 0) Jimmy taken four wickets in this innings, five for the match, and had four others given that were overturned. That’s via Gerard Whateley on the ABC call’s fact and I like it. “Sweaty palms time,” by his assessment. Maybe so. Paine leaves the two balls left in the Anderson over.
James Lane is united with Bob. Sort of. “Holed up in Paris, deadlines tightening, monkish discipline... Doesn’t the key to Bob’s pleasure lie precisely in his self-denial? If there’s anything more exquisite than watching sport, surely it’s not being able to. The OBO is the patch of sunlight on the wall of his cell that reminds him how beautiful the outside world could be.”
Thanks @collinsadam . I work at a uni in Korea. My students are taking an exam while I'm slying watching #TheGuardian mbm. pic.twitter.com/zd2Dypfcit
— Jake Busan (@jacobbusan) December 5, 2017
WICKET! Handscomb c Malan b Anderson 12 (Australia 75-6)
Taken! What a brilliant catch by Malan, that was motoring. Off the face off the bat, as Handscomb made room for himself in an effort to carve behind point. It hasn’t worked, the Victorian’s very sketchy stay coming to an end. It would be overstating a bit it to say this is game on, but England are certainly up and about.
34th over: Australia 74-5 (Handscomb 12, Marsh 1) Broad fantastic here. Early on has a ball jagging back at Marsh, then later beats him with an absolute peach. Has to play, ball decks across the left-hander, misses everything.
Handscomb Aus-raised, of English descent - but reckon he must have learned how to bat in Provence #frenchcricket
— David Clough (@DavidBClough) December 5, 2017
33rd over: Australia 74-5 (Handscomb 12, Marsh 1) Marsh continues where he left off the other day, tucking one off the pads first ball. Less convincing is Handscomb, who gets two through an unconvincing leading edge. Australia’s lead is 289, I should note. Wonder how long Jimmy will push on for?
WICKET! Lyon c Broad b Anderson 14 (Australia 71-5)
Cameo over. Handscomb gets Lyon back on strike after finding three through cover. The nightwatchman backs away to again flay, but is only able to bunt up to Broad at mid-off. Did his job.
32nd over: Australia 68-4 (Handscomb 7, Lyon 14) Oh that’s hit Lyon. First ball of the new Broad over. He tried to duck, but the bouncer followed him and made a thumping sound. Understandably, they take a few minutes, the Australian getting a quick test to ensure he’s seeing everything as he should. Back to it now. And he hits the next ball for four over third man! Bouncer again from Broad, predictably, and ramps it delightfully. And Lyon goes again when Broad gets it full! This time bending his knees and creaming a square drive. “That is the shot of the Test Match!” says Simon Katich on the radio. Utterly lavish. With things vaguely going his way now, Lyon has another crack but misses. No edge though. Guess what? He ends the eventful over with another crack. Doesn’t get all of it this time though, pitching over extra cover off a leading edge by the looks, two more added. Ten from it.
“Eh up Adam” opens Ian Johnston. “I must say that the timing of these games is a blessing and a curse for those of us working in Bangkok. Play starts shortly after getting to work and ends around (official) home time, which makes catching up on OBO easy. On the other hand my efficiency is non-existent… At least today is a public holiday so I can also be semi-efficient while feeling I am making up for last time.”
What we’re here for: helping avoid life’s actual responsibilities.
31st over: Australia 58-4 (Handscomb 7, Lyon 4) Handscomb slowly working into it, a couple through midwicket to end the over. Nicely timed again, with generous applause from the attentive crowd. Beaten earlier in the set by another screamer by Jimmy though, about the fourth time he’s gone by the edge in three overs so far today.
Meanwhile, Scott Lowe is, shall we say, thinking ahead? “I think last night showed Australia have a loooong way to go before they can think about being a top side. Smith was jumping around like someone was firing a pistol at his feet. So maybe England can console themselves by knowing they will easily win the 2019 Ashes.”
30th over: Australia 56-4 (Handscomb 5, Lyon 4) Broad all over Lyon here, but the nightwatchman sticks it out. He’s beaten defending early in the over, way too good. Then again later on when trying to launch into a drive. Excellent length from both the England veterans this morning.
“To rub salt into the wound,” Ian Forth notes, “I believe this is the first Ashes match since the introduction of DRS that Handscomb would have been able to review his decision after two unsuccessful reviews by Smith and Khawaja.”
29th over: Australia 56-4 (Handscomb 5, Lyon 4) Jimmy goes again. And he’s on with the ball taking off delightfully away from Handscomb earlier in the over. He adjusts, driving a couple through cover to get his account away for the morning. Already an excellent contest emerging between the two.
True story about my fondness for the Lancastrian. When he debuted for England I photoshopped a Victorian football jumper onto him as my display pic on MSN Messenger. This, you see, is why I was/am so popular at parties. Geoff is sitting next to me. “You use the OBO for personal catharsis. There are things you need to share.”
28th over: Australia 54-4 (Handscomb 3, Lyon 4) Disco Stuart Broad from the City/Southern/Broadcast/Riverbank End. Sent down gently enough to begin, Lyon leaving them defending then getting out the way then doing it all again.
Bob has replied, economically: “So learn French, schmuck.”
27th over: Australia 54-4 (Handscomb 3, Lyon 4) Consensus on the internet is that the snicko spike was just before the point where the ball went by the glove. Fair enough. Beat him again a couple balls later. Jimmy is up and about. As are the Barmies, with the loudest rendition of Jerusalem I’ve heard this series from them. Shameless re-plug for a thing I wrote about England cricket’s relationship with the tune? Why not.
NOT OUT! Overturned! Hot spot has the ball hitting Handscomb’s shoulder, thus the deviation. But did snicko not have a spike just before that? Isn’t that enough to uphold an original decision on the field? I thought it was. Anyway, they get on with it.
HAS HANDSCOMB GLOVED JIMMY? He is going upstairs. It was given on the ground! HERE WE GO.
Before we kick off... an email from Robert Wilson. Morning (evening?) to Bob in Paris. “I’m getting strangled by a double deadline for tomorrow. One’s a month late, the other a mere week (honestly, people are incredibly humourless about these things). So I’m pulling an all-nighter. But there’s a bottle of wine whispering my name and there’s the bleedin’ Ashes in Adelaide. I’m absolutely forbidding myself from watching even wicket highlights but I think the OBO is allowable. So the pressure’s on, pal. It’s you and me. Light up my life, float my boat, flick my switches. BUT NO MORE LAXMAN AND RAHUL VIDEOS FFS!!!”
I feel you mate. I am here for you. But is this the right time to tell you that the copy of Eureka Street I picked up on the not-so-dark web is in French not English?
Righto. Jimmy has the ball. The Barmies are singing. PLAY!
Nomenclature. “Cricket is good at continually refreshing its vocabulary,” writes Ian Forth. “Reverse swing is quite a recent coinage. Were England to win this test (they won’t, I hasten to add), I humbly suggest we refer to matches like this as a Reverse Adelaide.”
You can add the Reverse Malachi to that, which gets a run to describe a fast bowler’s short-ball bluff. We used to use Reverse (or Double) Malachi in politics as well, for similar effect. All derived, of course, from Happy Days. “When the Malachi Brothers execute this maneuver on Pinky Tuscadero’s car at the climax of the demolition derby,” according to Urban Dictionary. Also a NOFX song. Spanned a few genres in this post, ay?
Opening the batting on the e-mail. John Phaceas. “So looking forward to seeing GOAT carving the pie-chuckers all around the ground today. I see shades of Dizzy Gillespie.”
Well, he did clobber a six to long leg in the first dig. As I’ve written around 100 times since moving into this caper, we were at the same club in Canberra before he made the sound move to Adelaide - the rest being history. That season, he whacked 90-odd in 50 balls against ANU. It will happen for Australia one day. And when it does, I’ll run on the ground like Greg Richie did when Steve Waugh made his double in Jamaica.
This is such a great cricket ground. I know we carry on about it a bit, but indulge me in case it finishes today and we have to wait twelve months to return. Every morning here the members queue way back so that they can charge to the best seats behind bowler when the football siren sounds at midday so signal that gates can open. I enjoyed watching it all play out before. To think that the footbridge joining the city and the ground was a point of controversy when being built four years ago. Visionary.
Barrie Robran, Clem Hill and a few thousand committed locals waiting for the gates to open. #Ashes #Adelaide pic.twitter.com/WvJsGtJk1I
— Adam Collins (@collinsadam) December 5, 2017
Myth-busting. Whenever an Australian team has the chance to enforce the follow-on you can be sure that the commentary will be dominated by comments about Kolkata in 2001. The “VVS Effect” and all that. It is underpinned by the idea that Steve Waugh was so burned by the experience that it never happened again. False.
As Geoff Lemon detailed after a deep dive we went on at Lord’s a couple of years ago, Waugh had the chance to pop the opposition in for a second go on seven occasions after VVS and Rahul did their thing. He elected to do so each time. Australia won them all.
Of course, the world has changed since then. The health of fast bowlers has never been more scientifically managed. No one is denying that. But don’t point to SR Waugh when making the case, and leave VVS out of it. Okay. I feel better now.
Welcome to day four at Adelaide Oval!
Sure, we have a Test Match heading towards a relatively certain finish line. But England’s after-dark spark - claiming four quick Australian wickets after the hosts declined to enforce the follow-on - gives this fresh day some colour and movement.
Looking out from the southern end here at the mighty Adelaide Oval, the sun has burned through the clouds of this morning and the temperature is again mild. In other words, perfect conditions for cricket.
Plenty to plough through over the next 45 minutes before play begins. Looking forward to joining you for the first half of the day before handballing to Rob Smyth when the lights go on. Your company? I want it. In the usual ways: email and idiot machine.
Speaking of spark, nothing quite lights one like a stoush about the follow-on, does it? I had my say at stumps last night, and many of you have as well below the line. What do you reckon? I’ll be back with some myth-busting in a tic. For now, a song I thought of when ironing this morning.
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Adam will be here shortly. In the meantime, here’s a reminder of how we got to this stage:
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