That’s all for me, then. It’s been, um, interesting. On the plus side, after a pretty dreary opening day, there is at least interest in this match now, and the possibility of a positive result. More tomorrow. Bye!
STUMPS: England 85-4
A wonderful day for Australia, and very much as expected after yesterday for England – but for half an hour of utter madness at the start of their innings. They require a further 282 runs to avoid the follow-on, and are playing for time and dignity now.
Updated
29th over: England 85-4 (Cook 22, Stokes 38)
Lyon takes the last over, with two slips, a short leg and a silly point clustered around the bat. Stokes immediately takes a single and retreats to the safety of the bowler’s end and Cook sees out the rest with the very same ambition – or absence of it – that he showed in the previous over. And with that, the batsmen shake a couple of Australian hands and head for he hills.
Updated
28th over: England 84-4 (Cook 21, Stokes 37)
Marsh bowls the penultimate over of the day, and Cook negotiates it, no thought in his mind but survival. A maiden.
@Simon_Burnton Stokes - The New Gordon Greenidge? There's a man who knew how to bat at Lord's. And Cook has a bit of Gomes about him too.
— Gary Naylor (@garynaylor999) July 17, 2015
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27th over: England 84-4 (Cook 21, Stokes 37)
Stokes is hurting here. He’s had the physio on, he’s taken some pills, and still he’s wincing with every step. It doesn’t matter if his leg’s about to fall off, he’s not retiring hurt. This partnership has hauled England from the ignominy of 30-4 to the ignominy of 84-4.
Updated
26th over: England 81-4 (Cook 19, Stokes 36)
Mitchell Marsh swings his arm for the first time today, bowling across the left-handed Cook, who eventually takes a single, and then Stokes gets two off the last. “I’ve just come in and gone to OBO – Orrible!!!!!!!!!!!” exclaims the extremely exclamatory Andy Tyacke. “Just out of interest (foreboding?) - what is the record first innings lead in an Ashes match and are Australia in with a chance of breaking it?” Fortunately England were never in any danger of breaking that particular record, even had they been bowled out without scoring. I haven’t actually checked, but I’d be surprised if anything beats 702.
Updated
25th over: England 78-4 (Cook 18, Stokes 34)
Johnson pitches three short and then one full, but Stokes deals with all of them, and the two that follow. The cameras cut to Root, sitting on the England balcony with a look of pure melancholy on his face, as well he might.
24th over: England 78-4 (Cook 18, Stokes 34)
Cook doesn’t attack Lyon like Stokes did, but then I suppose he learned that lesson in Cardiff. Maiden. Johnson, incidentally, was off the field for only one over, and is now preparing to bowl again.
No he hasn't!
His foot was grounded when Nevill whipped off the bails. An odd review, that, the original appeal having been so massively downplayed that I didn’t notice it happening.
Updated
REVIEW! Has Cook been stumped here?
Australia think they just might have him!
23rd over: England 78-4 (Cook 18, Stokes 34)
The England physio comes on before Hazlewood’s over begins, to feed an apparently achey Stokes some kind of medication. While he’s at it, Johnson leaves the field. Cook gets a single off the final delivery, one of the previous ones having not bothered bouncing but trundled harmlessly wide of off stump.
22nd over: England 77-4 (Cook 17, Stokes 34)
Lyon bowls, and Stokes rumbles down the pitch before hitting over midwicket for a one-bounce four. He’s clearly unimpressed with this, and when he does it again the ball goes straight down the ground for six. Twelve runs off the over, the joint most expensive of the match (Mark Wood bowled the other, from which Warner scored 11 and Rogers a single).
21st over: England 65-4 (Cook 17, Stokes 22)
Hazlewood continues, and Stokes gets a single to mid off, and England defend or leave the rest.
20th over: England 64-4 (Cook 17, Stokes 21)
Lyon bowls, Stokes pulls and the ball hits Voges at short leg, and hits him hard. He goes down, but is up commendably quickly, given the state his hip is probably in currently. Still, he prevented a certain boundary. “I think that clatter of wickets might have been my fault,” admits Phil Sawyer. “Rather like in the Avengers movie when Bruce Banner realises he’s been unconsciously waving Loki’s staff around while tempers start to fray, after the Root wicket I looked down and realised that unnoticed I’d picked up a cricket ball and been absentmindedly tossing it from hand to hand since the start of the England innings. I’ve put it down now and picked up a drink instead, which seems the only sensible reaction to this shambles.” And indeed seems to have been England’s approach at tea.
Updated
19th over: England 63-4 (Cook 17, Stokes 20)
Hazlewood bowls short at Cook, and the England captain pulls it away for four. The pitch appears to have had a dizzy half-hour, after which it has now settled down. “I wish Shane Warne would stop talking about his poker exploits,” writes Peter Harmer. “Does he not realise there’s only one person I’d listen to poker stories from while watching the cricket, and that’s James Bond? And then only because I wouldn’t want to upset a heavily armed, trained killer who seems to have number of issues he expresses through extreme violence.” I’m not much of a cardsman these days, but in my experience people don’t even talk about poker very much when they’re playing poker.
18th over: England 59-4 (Cook 13, Stokes 20)
Stokes diverts the ball off his pads to the square leg boundary, and then pushes past mid on for four more. Calm, competent, unhurried strokemaking.
When England lose Ashes Tests, they do so in style. They were slaughtered in 05, 09 and 10-11 yet won each series. Folk need to calm down.
— 100 Ashes Quotes (@100ashesquotes) July 17, 2015
Alternatively: LYTH, BELL AND BALLANCE OUT, BRING IN MORGAN, KP AND HALES.
— 100 Ashes Quotes (@100ashesquotes) July 17, 2015
17th over: England 50-4 (Cook 12, Stokes 12)
Hazlewood is back, after a change of ends, and England reach 50 in appropriate style, Stokes edging wide of the slips for four. “On the bright side, possibly we will now hear a little less of this nonsense about playing-the-game-the-right-way and positive-cricket and playing-with-a-smile-on-their-face and how these are indispensable and compulsory for all players on the way to the promised land,” says John Cox. “If the present debacle teaches some of the more tiresome post-Cardiff gloaters that (i) it is possible to play too positively (ii) there is no ‘right’ way to play any sport worth playing and it would be damned dull if there were, and (iii) Curtly A, Don B, Steve W and Alan Border didn’t need a smile to play pretty decent cricket, then something at least will have been achieved.”
16th over: England 46-4 (Cook 12, Stokes 8)
Nice shot from Cook, who flicks Starc past square leg for four and becomes the second English batsman to reach double figures. “Hang on, I’m supposed to be watching this at Lords tomorrow. At this rate there’ll be nothing to see but the miserable last dregs of a follow-on,” complains Rob Wright. “Australia look immensely pumped up for this. I have to take some responsibility for that, as I was among the England fans raining scorn upon them last weekend at Cardiff. How quickly things change…”
15th over: England 41-4 (Cook 8, Stokes 8)
After drinks, Johnson bowls a maiden to Cook. Four whole overs since the last wicket, and some semblance of sanity is settling on Lord’s once more. But for how long? “So what happened to the pitch which was blamed for being a bowler’s graveyard yesterday?” wonders Barry Sharp. It’s still a slow pitch, which is why it helps when you can bowl at 91mph (Johnson has topped that today).
Remarkable commitment from England to keeping the game going forward after Australia spent five sessions holding things up
— Alan R Gardner (@alanroderick) July 17, 2015
Ian Bell has been dismissed after scoring 1 run in 5 of his last 10 Test innings http://t.co/JU1LaBEsC7
— Bishen Jeswant (@bishen_jeswant) July 17, 2015
14th over: England 41-4 (Cook 8, Stokes 8)
A relatively sedate over from Starc, all leaves and fends. Cook gets a single. “Adam Lyth turned himself into the top county batsman in 2014 by learning to leave the ball,” writes Tim Sanders. “In 2013 he was always nicking off after a little cameo, but in 2014 he increased his average from 30 to 70, whilst his strike rate dropped from 62 to 52. An Ashes series is the same game by the same rules, but it just shows what the occasion can do to a player. Paul Farbrace was his coach for Yorkshire who helped him to the top of the averages, so hopefully he can help him again.” Fingers crossed.
This is the 1st time that 3 of England's top 5 have been dismissed for 1 run or less in 160 Ashes Tests at home http://t.co/sDKgMaVAHP
— Bishen Jeswant (@bishen_jeswant) July 17, 2015
13th over: England 40-4 (Cook 7, Stokes 8)
Johnson bowls again, and you almost expect to see steam coming out of his nose like a cartoon bull as he charges in, happy to be trampling over the assumption that he can’t bowl in England. Stokes hits wide of mid-off for a nice and apparently untroubled four. “Having a new positive Brand of cricket is all well and good unless you’re facing a huge total and need to bat two days. This is just stupid,” writes Duncan Smith. “Like playing 1-1-8 when you’re 2-0 down twenty minutes into a football match. Get in, stay in, then play some shots.” But England’s batsmen haven’t been getting out to aggressive shots – they’ve been getting out to stupid shots, or a total absence of shots.
Updated
12th over: England 32-4 (Cook 7, Stokes 0)
Oooh! Another inside edge, this time Cook deflects the ball just past the stumps. Still, it brings two runs, so that’s something.
Ian Bell's fifth dismissal for 1 in Tests in 2015. Ties Dean Headley's record of five 1s in a year, set in 1998. http://t.co/97EKtPHXqp
— Andy Zaltzman (@ZaltzCricket) July 17, 2015
Last time England went 1-0 up in a home Ashes (1997), they were dismissed for 77 in first innings of the second Test. There's your target
— Patrick Kidd (@patrick_kidd) July 17, 2015
11th over: England 30-4 (Cook 5, Stokes 0)
Oooh! Stokes inside-edges his first delivery into his back foot, and then safe! Could have gone anywhere, that. And then there’s a big shout as there’s a sound when the ball flies through to the keeper, but the ball just hit trouser. The last ball is full and fast again, but heading down leg side. Stokes squirms uncomfortably. “No doubt there’ll be soon doom ‘n’ glooming, but is this not how England play these days?” writes Paul Devlin. “Only 8 batsmen allowed, and Root to do it all himself? Worked in Cardiff, and (so far) Cook and Root are still at the crease, so no major alarm bells. Hell, Root can probably get the 337 still needed himself!” Um …
WICKET! Root c Nevill b Johnson 1 (England 30-4)
Boos ringing out at Lord’s now (I think – always hard to tell when Root’s involved) as England’s saviour is sent packing in short order, as Johnson bowls short and wide, Root goes after it and gets the slightest edge – inaudible on the television – through to Nevill.
Updated
10th over: England 30-3 (Cook 5, Root 1)
So here we are then. So far this series England have been 43-3, 73-3 and now 29-3. Then there was 62-3, 74-3 and 25-3 against New Zealand (with, it’s true, a 238-3 along the way). It’s not even in the vague vicinity of the farthest outskirts of good enough, really. Still, they bat long.
Speaking of jaffers...Josh Hazlewood in amongst them!! #Ashes
— Tom Moody (@TomMoodyCricket) July 17, 2015
WICKET! Bell b Hazlewood 1 (England 29-3)
England are in a hole now, and digging furiously. Full and straight, Bell doesn’t judge it, and out comes his off stump.
Updated
9th over: England 29-2 (Cook 5, Bell 1)
Johnson’s first delivery is pushed back past mid-off and away for four. He never looked happy, but at least he made some runs – 23 from 29 balls at that stage. Two balls and no further runs later, he’s gone. A bit of away swing on that wicket-taking delivery, but really Ballance was beaten for pace, and by his own technical foibles.
Ballance's depth in the crease counts against him once more: England teetering at 28 for 2
— Lawrence Booth (@the_topspin) July 17, 2015
WICKET! Ballance b Johnson 23 (England 28-2)
Fast, full and straight, and Ballance gets nowhere near it, the ball nicking leg stump on its way through!
Updated
8th over: England 24-1 (Ballance 19, Cook 5)
Ballance fields five more deliveries as his examination continues, before finally getting a single. And now he’s got to face Johnson.
@Simon_Burnton Is Cook's post-2012 form partly due to unsettled opening partners? Compton, Carberry, Robson, now Lyth...
— Max Williams (@maxwykeham) July 17, 2015
Quite possibly, though his batting average over the last 12 months (56.68 in 11 matches) is pretty healthy.
7th over: England 23-1 (Ballance 18, Cook 5)
Starc bowls, and England score singles from the final two deliveries. I quite like these little interviews, and someone’s sending them to me, so I’ll keep posting them. Here’s Michael Palin. They’ve really had quite a lot of celebrities at Lord’s over the last couple of days – Cardiff, strangely, seemed less attractive.
6th over: England 21-1 (Ballance 17, Cook 4)
Another Ballance boundary, though it takes a couple of replays to be sure that Lyon didn’t just stop it in time at backward point, and it came from an outside edge. Even for someone who basically always looks uncomfortable at the crease, Ballance is looking uncomfortable at the moment. “I’m sure you don’t want the OBO to become a forum for matching dwindling cricket clubs with nomad cricketers, but I’ve dropped my team Pacific CC right in it this week by pulling out at the last minute and we need some players,” begs Tom Ireland. “Does anyone reading (literally anyone) fancy taking to the field for us on Sunday in the leafy Essex ‘burb of Fairlop? Preferably an ex-pro local to the area. Or failing that, someone who can just get in the way of a ball. The match starts at 1pm, and promises a good tea plus all the nuances that come with an old-fashioned timed game. Please help.” You’re right, I wouldn’t want that. But a game of cricket in Fairlop sounds appealing enough to potentially attract someone.
5th over: England 17-1 (Ballance 13, Cook 4)
Hazlewood bowls short and wideish, and Ballance leans back and nicks it – apparently deliberately – between third and fourth slips. “It’s almost like a coach giving slip practice,” says Mike Atherton. He gets away with it, and is rewarded with four runs.
“That text analysis is bunkum. And I say that as a scientist,” writes Dr Simon Dixon. “It is merely showing the differences in vocabulary between the commentators. If he does another one when England are batting (for equivalence it would have to be at Lords in the first innings and doing really well!) he would then be able to say there was bias if the Aussie commenters are the same amount “positive” whereas the England ones are more “positive” than for Australia. That is bias. As for methodology, different commentators would use the same word and freight it with different meaning, even the same commentator in different contexts. “Nurdle” can be high praise if it keeps the strike ticking over when bowling is tight, or derision if the other batter is hitting sixes. “Clip” could be highly positive if it is a clean leg glance to the fence, whereas “punch” could be a mildly derogatory way to describe a short armed jab which is all bottom hand and no timing.” Quibble-proof reasoning, doctor.
4th over: England 10-1 (Ballance 6, Cook 4)
England reach double figures (a minor landmark, but still) and Cook gets off the mark with a flick off his legs through midwicket. And then he’s tempted by a full delivery that whistles just past the bat on its way through. England’s total is already 1.8% of Australia’s, and they’ve barely started. This is going to be easy.
3rd over: England 6-1 (Ballance 6, Cook 0)
Ballance gets a couple from the first ball of another hostile over from Starc – the last ball whooshes about six inches wide of the batsman’s nose. And that really was a shocker of a shot from Lyth, given the match situation and the ease with which he could have left that ball. It doesn’t get any better for repeated viewing. “I’ve no problem with the analysis of OBO language, what ever fills the day,” writes Lennie Lenford. “Its the lack of benchmarking that disappoints me. He needs to go back and compare the Cardiff test, to begin with.” Besides, it’s only bias if we’re not also negative about England’s batsmen – which, to be fair, we often are.
The switch has been flicked... https://t.co/bmb9gzYQJL
— Ali Martin (@Cricket_Ali) July 17, 2015
2nd over: England 4-1 (Ballance 4, Cook 0)
Cook leaves the first ball of Hazlewood’s over – and regrets it, as the ball smacks into his groinal area. Fortunately he’s wearing a box this time. The bowler then gets very excited when the ball flicks Cook’s trousers on its way through – nobody else raises so much as an eyebrow. A maiden.
1st over: England 4-1 (Ballance 4, Cook 0)
The umpires check that Starc didn’t overstep, and though he was very close, his heel fell the right side of the line. That was the second ball of the innings – Lyth having defended the first, so the catch was Nevill’s first ever piece of Test-match wicketkeeping. Ballance clips the first ball of his innings off his pads and past square leg for four. “I was once chastised in school by a PE teacher when I told him I reckoned we might lose an upcoming rugby match,” writes Ant Pease. “He told me to be more positive, to which I replied “Ok – I’m sure we’re going to lose.”
Never in doubt... LIVE: http://t.co/wfvHDb5gbW #Ashes pic.twitter.com/2YXTbrxUSY
— cricket.com.au (@CricketAus) July 17, 2015
Updated
WICKET! Lyth c Nevill b Starc 0 (England 0-1)
Horrible, horrible start to England’s innings. A bit of width, Lyth swishes at the ball, and Nevill has a debut catch in Test cricket – he won’t get any easier.
Updated
Out come England openers, under grey skies now in St John’s Wood. Focus focus focus focus focus.
Australia, day one: 337 runs, one wicket (and that one doesn’t really count).
Australia, day two: 229 runs, seven wickets.
So, what now for England?
Updated
A declaration! Australia 566-8 declared!
149th over: Australia 566-8 (Starc 12)
Johnson takes a fantastically massive heave at the first ball post-tea, missing it completely, then has a gloriously enormous heave at the third, and misses it too – this one bounces six inches over the stumps. They do put bat to ball a few times, though, and earn a two and a couple of singles for their pains, before Johnson gets out off the final ball. And with that, the declaration comes! “Has it occurred to Mr Surely You’ve Got Something Better To Do Than Analyse OBO Language that maybe, just maybe, Australian commentators might be slightly more prone to hyperbole than English ones, regardless of who’s winning?” wonders Michael Morris. “I’ve always felt our Antipodean friends have many gifts, but understatement is not always among them…”
WICKET! Johnson c Anderson b Broad 15 (Australia 566-8)
Johnson spoons the final ball of the over up, a bit more up, a little bit further up, and then down, down and down into the hands of Anderson at mid off.
Dean Jones says the Smith lbw decision was “morally wrong”:
Technically out to the letter of the letter of the law.. Morally wrong https://t.co/47lDLRuErP
— Dean Jones (@ProfDeano) July 17, 2015
There has been no teatime declaration, and England come back out, tasked with frustrating what I expect will be an attempted assault on the run-rate.
Hello again!
Someone’s done a detailed analysis of the language used in yesterday’s OBO. Australian OBO coverage was twice as positive about Australian players as we were, apparently. I’m going to be incredibly positive from now on, just you wait and see.
Tea
That’s the tea interval then and another fairly even session. England wouldn’t be too displeased with their performance... had they not let Australia rack up 337 for bloody one on the first day. As it is, it’s Australia’s to not win from here.
Simon Burnton is going to take you through to the close. Cheers for all your emails and sorry I couldn’t use them all.
Bye!
148th over: Australia 562-7 (Starc 11, Johnson 13) Think this will be the last over before tea then, Root with it and he fires the second ball down the leg side, looking to counter Johnson’s charge. Alas there is no charge and it just skips on its merry way down to the boundary for four byes. The final ball is carved out to deep cover, where two fielders converge and eventually decide to gather the ball, by which time Australia had taken two runs.
147th over: Australia 557-7 (Starc 11, Johnson 11) Moeen Ali replaces Wood and Starc promptly lifts him over cow corner for six. That was a proper shot too, good body shape, swinging the bat in a pleasing arc – not your hideous IPL slog, that one.
Updated
146th over: Australia 551-7 (Starc 5, Johnson 11) Starc turns it round the corner for two, then clumps out to Stokes for a single. That makes it 551-7.
“If I was Clarke, writes Martin Sinclair, “I’d come out for 10 minutes after tea. Cook and Lyth will be expecting the declaration, so do something different to try and unnerve them a bit. Make them forget about their pads and go out to field for a few minutes, let Johnson swing his exceptionally muscley arms and score a few quick runs, then declare.”
145th over: Australia 548-7 (Starc 2, Johnson 11) One to square leg for Johnson, then a leg bye off of Starc’s hip. It’ll be interesting to see how Starc moves between the wickets. Johnson saves his best for the last ball, as Wood bowls short and wide, and Johnson rocks back and cuts elegantly through point for four.
“Surely that’s showing the pitching outside off, which is very much ok,” says Tom Barneby. “The impact on the stumps is umpire’s call, which isn’t shown, no?”
Nope, that’s the impact that’s shown. Quite why there’s a margin of error for something we’ve seen happen I’m not sure – there’s no predictive element when it comes to impact as it’s already happened.
144th over: Australia 542-7 (Starc 2, Johnson 6) Starc clips Root out to midwicket for a couple to get off the mark. I guess Clarke will wait until tea now as there’s only 10 minutes left in the session and he wouldn’t have time to have a go at them now, what with the innings changeover.
143rd over: Australia 540-7 (Starc 0, Johnson 6) Johnson stands tall and clubs hard through mid off for four. Can’t see this innings going much past tea, to be honest. That’s the only scoring shot from the over.
Daniel, my celeb pal from Esben and the Witch, writes: “Keeping you up to date with my traveling Ashes observations we are in a village in Northern Italy called Santa Maria Della Versa and i think Its probably now worth just admitting Steve Smith is a an awkward looking unconventional genius right? Like a champagne Kim Barnett.”
142nd over: Australia 536-7 (Starc 0, Johnson 2) So Peter Nevill goes for a well-made 45 on debut. There’s an appeal for lbw first ball against Starc too, bowling round the wicket to the left-hander, but it’s taken an inside edge by the looks of things. Given not out anyway. Starc then goes for a big slog, gets another inside edge, and the ball cannons into Buttler’s pad.
Lawrence Aggleton makes a good point here on DRS: “Firstly, I know this argument is tired and math-y, so apologies. The decisions on this seems bizarre. It seems to boil down to: 1) if given out and any part of the ball was going to even brush the stumps then out; and 2) if given not out and some of the ball must be going on to hit middle stump and fully below the bails then out.
So a not out -> out reversal means a wicket size of ~1.5 inches width and ~25 inches height - as opposed to reality of 9 inches width and 28 inches height. That’s only 14% of the area. So an umpire can be 85% wrong and it still be a ‘good’ decision.”
As if to prove your point...
Wicket! Nevill c Ali b Root 45
Nevill goes after it, but plays a way away from his body. He slaps it straight to Ali at mid off, who takes a good low catch.
141st over: Australia 534-6 (Nevill 44, Johnson 1) A big woolly drive from Johnson connects with naught but disgusting St. John’s Wood air as Wood just gets one to seam away a wee bit. I’ve just had another look at the Hawkeye replay of the Smith wicket. It’s ludicrous as I’ll point out in the next over. This one’s a maiden.
140th over: Australia 534-6 (Nevill 44, Johnson 1) Root floats one up, tossing it high in the air, and Smith stands tall and imposing to it, driving off the back foot but only to the sweeper. Nevill shovels one over his shoulder and then Smith’s magnificent innings comes to an end. Joe Root has blown this wide open. Ahem. Johnson is off the mark with a push down the ground.
Personally I reckon Australia should add exactly 18 more runs then declare.
Wicket! Smith lbw b Root 215
Smith gets cocky going for the reverse sweep and is struck low, right in front of off. There’s no bat on it, but he was a long way forward. I reckon this is out... yep it’s hitting middle and off.
Updated
Review! Smith lbw b Root 215
Given out on the field...
Updated
139th over: Australia 531-5 (Nevill 43, Smith 214) Four more to Nevill, rocking back and cutting hard at a short one outside off from Wood; it’s off the top edge, but it’s high over the slips and safely down to third man. There’s an appeal for lbw a few balls later as Wood gets one to tail into the batsman’s pads, only he does so via a thick inside edge.
People who love TMS but hate that pesky commentary are going to love this audio of Steve Smith reaching his double century.
138th over: Australia 527-5 (Nevill 39, Smith 214) Nevill comes down the track to Root and lifts him over mid on for four runs. I expect that Australia are going to put their collective foot down now and declare shortly after tea, especially given the poor weather forecast for Sunday.
“I’m with Ryan Mitchell (over 131),” writes Ryan Mitchell. “I had forgotten how good Jimmy was last week when he took his customary no wickets in Aussie’s second innings. Leader of the attack my sizable backside. Go hiding, moan for a ball change, bowl well at Trent Bridge, cue media fawning. Leading them all into triple figures.”
He has 406 Test wickets. He has more Test wickets than any other England bowler ever. You were talking nonsense from the moment you said “customary no wickets”.
137th over: Australia 521-5 (Nevill 34, Smith 213) Change of bowling and a change of pace as Wood replaces Ali. Smith plays an absolutely gorgeous cut shot, leaning into a wide one and playing such a fluid looking stroke. Disappointingly for him, there’s a sweeper out and that keeps him to one. On Sky, Botham notices that Stokes looked to be in some discomfort when throwing the ball back to the keeper. Wood then tries the slower ball, but Smith clumps that one out to deep square leg for four more.
136th over: Australia 512-5 (Nevill 32, Smith 207) A nice crisp drive by Smith should be comfortably fielded at cover by Broad, but he fumbles to allow three. Nevill then comes down the track and cracks it hard, past silly mid on and away for four. That was in the air for a short while, but was hit far too hard for there to be a realistic chance.
Smith’s 200, the first overseas by an Australian batsman since Jason Gillespie, featured 24 fours, one six and some of the finest strokeplay you’ll see this summer.
Steve Smith double-hundred
135th over: Australia 505-5 (Nevill 27, Smith 204) Moeen from the other end and Smith turns him out to midwicket. Nevill does the same a couple of balls later and Stokes makes rather a mess, kind of falling over the ball, as the 500 comes up. Smith one away... and he whips the fifth ball of the over crisply through the same region for four! Played, Steve.
Updated
134th over: Australia 498-5 (Nevill 26, Smith 198) Hello again folks. First ball after drinks is bowled by Joe Root – as will the subsequent five be – and Steve Smith cuts it nicely behind point for four. A push out to deep mid on moves him on to 198, before Nevill turns one off his pad just wide of leg slip and down to long leg for two.
133rd over: Australia 490-5 (Smith 193, Nevill 24)
One run, one review, no wickets, and someone runs on carrying three bottles of drinks and a banana. It’s drinks! And back to Dan Lucas for the remainder of the session. Bye for now!
Not out!
The ball would have hit leg stump pretty firmly, but not quite firmly enough to overturn the umpire’s (not great) on-field decision.
Updated
Review! England think Nevill might be lbw here!
The umpire didn’t, mind. Let’s check those replays!
132nd over: Australia 490-5 (Smith 192, Nevill 24)
The lack of a fielder at third man is making scoring easy (even easier) for Australia. Smith works the ball there off the face of his bat and gets four for his troubles. A single later, the ball clips Nevill on the pads and skips away for four leg byes.
England's plan to get Steve Smith back up to No1 in world - where he averages just 33 - working a treat. Bloke's fallen right into the trap
— Ali Martin (@Cricket_Ali) July 17, 2015
131st over: Australia 480-5 (Smith 187, Nevill 24)
Smith sends the ball screaming to the square leg boundary with a slog sweep, the only scoring from Moeen’s latest over. “Jimmy Anderson will ton up today,” predicts Ryan Mitchell. “At key times, he performs this badly. His batting is really, really terrible. Why no Johnson-like derision?” Because people can still remember when he was really good. Such as last week, for example.
130th over: Australia 476-5 (Smith 183, Nevill 24)
Anderson bowls to Nevill, who feels nervously for the ball with a straight bat, and it flies just past the edge. He recovers to score two twos. Cook leaves the field briefly, being replaced by Jordan Price, who Google suggests normally plays for South Woodford and, never mind Australia, generally considers Wanstead to be “a good test”. Bumble gets a bit excited, apparently because popular British glamour model Jordan’s given surname is Price.
Updated
129th over: Australia 472-5 (Smith 182, Nevill 20)
Three more for Nevill, who’s rattling along at just over a run a ball (he’s faced 19). “it just goes to show that prevailing opinions such as wine snobbery have to give way to particulars,” notes John Starbuck, “which in this case is that my wife finds that white wine doesn’t agree with her so she avoids it – except for Prosecco and Champagne.” Bubbles make everything better.
128th over: Australia 468-5 (Smith 182, Nevill 17)
Anderson replaces Broad, and … ooooh! Short and wide from Anderson, and Nevill edges hard and high, just out of the reach of Root at gully. Four runs.
127th over: Australia 464-5 (Smith 182, Nevill 13)
Oooh! Australia take a risky three to Broad at deep square leg, whose throw to the bowler’s end forces Moeen a yard or so wide of the stumps and allows Nevill to ground his bat – a perfectly accurate throw would have done for him there. And then Smith gets a four through point. “Have now stepped out of the office for a puff on the ecig three times, and come back to three wickets,” writes James Greene. “Lobbying the boss to let me take half an hour or so to come back to the lower order skittled.”
126th over: Australia 457-5 (Smith 178, Nevill 10)
Six more runs, shared three apiece. “Hubby had a call from a, let’s call him a scammer, from India who informed him that there was a problem with his computer,” writes Mandy Cheevers in Melbourne. “In response hubby said ‘That’s strange it’s been on all day.’ The fellow was momentarily put off but reconfirmed that the computer had indeed been on all day then he rallied and asked what hubby thought of Sachin Tendulkar. Hubby responded saying ‘Oh he’s the greatest batsman in the world.’ The scammer responded saying ‘That’s the correct answer,’ and politely ended the call.” Nice. I had a very similar experience once, except it wasn’t on the phone, and the guy asked about Bobby Charlton. And he wasn’t trying to scam me. And I was in the Czech Republic. If I recall correctly, I bought some vegetables from him.
125th over: Australia 451-5 (Smith 175, Nevill 7)
Nevill edges low and wide of slip for his first three Test runs, and then deliberately works the ball in a very similar direction for four.
124th over: Australia 442-5 (Smith 173, Nevill 0)
Forget the pitch, Broad insists, credit for the wicket is all mine, demonstrating how he rolled his fingers across the ball at the moment of release, slowing it down and causing the lack of bounce. A wicket maiden, his third wicket of the day, means he’ll be getting plenty of credit either way.
WICKET! Marsh b Broad 12 (Australia 442-5)
Marsh has been done here by one that stayed low, and clipped the bottom of his bat on its way into the stumps!
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123rd over: Australia 442-4 (Smith 173, Marsh 12)
A Moeen maiden, largely thanks to one smart stop by Cook at short mid on. Dermot O’Leary used to work behind the bar (well, one of the bars) at Lord’s. There’s a thing.
122nd over: Australia 442-4 (Smith 173, Marsh 12)
Broad bowls, and Smith works the ball down towards third man, though Stokes catches up with it and the batsmen run three. Broad bowls again, and Marsh works the ball down towards third man, and this time there’s no point Stokes running for it at all. “I’ve just finished preparing and eating a pile of toast with lots of chicken pate to spread on it, helped down with a large glass of Primitivo,” writes John Starbuck, who has gone ahead and sent in his lunch tip. “My wife and I both enjoy this as a summer alternative to the usual fare.” *wine snob alert* I’d be more inclined to go with something white for a summer lunchtime, especially with pate – perhaps a riesling? *end winesnobbery*
121st over: Australia 433-4 (Smith 170, Marsh 6)
Moeen again. Smith snatches a single from the first ball of the over, and Marsh sees out the rest very easily indeed.
@Simon_Burnton what joy it is to be in an office full of English people on a day like this 😀😛🇦🇺
— Ava Lawrence (@AvaLawrenceATK) July 17, 2015
But is today more joyful than last week was miserable?
120th over: Australia 433-4 (Smith 169, Marsh 6)
In comes Marsh, and he pushes his first ball past mid off for four, easy as you like. “I feel Clarke made a colossal error of judgment by not springing a surprise declaration over lunch,” writes James Sloan. I don’t see that at all – Australia should be trying to make sure they don’t have to bat again, and 430-odd isn’t enough to have this match won.
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WICKET! Voges c Buttler b Broad 25 (Australia 426-4)
A wicket! A little bit of movement, an absolutely tiny nick, and an easy catch for Buttler!
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119th over: Australia 426-3 (Smith 169, Voges 25)
Moeen gets play back under way, and Cook takes a sharp catch at leg slip, though the ball had diverted to him off Voges’ pads rather than his bat.
@Simon_Burnton as someone who lives near your offices, there are far more lunch options than just that pret. Stop being lazy.
— No look (@ohlookcdkey) July 17, 2015
Crikey, that’s quite an angry reaction to a simple mention of a sandwicherie. And it was Dan who mentioned it anyway (he is currently showing his sandwich who’s boss). But feel free to email me your lunch tips!
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Certainly no sign of rain right now, but there’s a shower of applause in the long room as the players come back out for the afternoon session.
“Is it wrong to pray for rain – especially since I’m getting married in the great outdoors of South East England tomorrow?” wonders Tony Cunningham. “A great wedding day for me and my Mrs (and our guests) … or potential happiness for our whole nation by avoiding defeat against Australia?” I would say, in these particular circumstances, your betrothed might have grounds to be somewhat miffed, yes.
Hello! So, a session in which something happened, which is nice. I still think that if I were in the Australia dressing room I’d be encouraging them to bat naturally, not to take risks, and to keep going until they hit quadruple figures. I know they’re 1-0 down in the series and might be tempted to chase a win here, but there are lots of Tests, lots of series, lots of Ashes series. Nobody has ever scored 1,000 Test runs. In front of them there are two paths, one leading to a land of legends, and the other to the possibility of a brief celebration, a beer and a smile, and then nothing. Take the right path, guys. Warner gave his wicket away, Clarke got out to a misguided shot and the kind of decision that batsmen make when there are 383 runs on the board and a queue of batsmen in the dressing-room. My advice: bat wisely, make history.
On Sky they’re talking about Steve Smith, “allegedly the best batsman in the world,” according to David Gower. Love that allegedly.
Lunch
Well that’s better for England, a couple of wickets and they bowled nicely. That said, it is still 424-3 and this pair look in fine nick. Simon Burnton will be with you for the first hour after tea, so I’ll leave you with a few emails.
On best cricketer names, Alex McCarthy says: “Surely this chap deserves a mention?”
Nick Clark has an answer to Robin Hazlehurst’s You Are the Umpire question from the 114th over: “The umpire was wrong on several counts. No-balls have priority over wides so even if it was both then it would have been a no-ball as this enables the batsman to score from it. Wides should also only be called after the ball has passed the wicket.”
Nick’s part of the OBOccasionals team too, I believe. They’re playing in a match (that I’ve had to drop out of) in Godalming on Sunday, if anyone wants to go along and watch.
An anecdote from Tom O’Brien: “(Loosely) on the subject of great names, I remember a T20 game at Old Trafford a few years ago. Our group of friends weren’t entirely familiar with all members of the Lancashire line-up that day, so we weren’t too sure who had come to field on the boundary nearest to us. Thankfully, this was the era of squad numbers and names on the back of shirts, so the majority of us worked out that it was Tom Smith. Unfortunately one member of the party mistakenly assumed that the sponsor on Smith’s shirt (Thwaites Brewery’s Lancaster Bomber ale), placed directly above his surname, was in fact his first name, and following an excellent piece of fielding, cried out ‘Great fielding Bomber Smith’ to the confusion and amusement of both bowler and crowd. As a result, he’s never been known by any other name to us...”
And Nick Clark with a rebuttal for Boycott: “Me again! The other issue with the plan of bowling early in the run up is that the umpire then can’t see where you are bowling from. If the umpire isn’t sure it is a legal delivery then it needs to be called a no-ball. While there are no issues with the front foot there might be an issue with the bowler being too wide and crossing the return crease, if the umpire can’t see then the umpire can’t say it was a legal delivery.”
Right that’s it. Simon is taking over now. Bye!
118th over: Australia 424-3 (Voges 24, Smith 168) Wood to bowl what will probably be the last over before lunch. Voges is on strike for it and presents the full face of the bat to see off every ball.
117th over: Australia 424-3 (Voges 24, Smith 168) Short, rank rubbish from Ali to Smith, who stands there, waits a while, has a cigarette, downloads the new Wilco album, listens to it (it’s only 35 minutes), goes for a comfort break, sends a couple of funny Tweets, adjusts his pads, adjusts his helmet, writes a blog about how good he thinks the new Wilco album is, makes a tea and then pulls it square for four.
116th over: Australia 420-3 (Voges 24, Smith 164) Change of ends for Wood, who switches to the Nursery End. He starts with a fairly loose one, short, wide and cut to backward point for two by Smith. Earlier today, Rogers made the fifth highest Test score by an Australian at Lord’s and it looks entirely possible that Smith will knock him out of that top five at some point in the afternoon session.
On Smith, John Starbuck emails with news of Geoff Boycott’s idea: “Geoffrey’s come up with a novel idea: fast bowlers should release the ball a stride or two from the bowling crease, before Smith begins his trigger movement towards off. He can be a pain at times, Boycott, but you have to admit he’s no mug.” It’s a decent ploy, but that might well mess up the bowler’s rhythm as much as it does the batsman’s.
115th over: Australia 417-3 (Voges 24, Smith 161) Another single to Smith, swiped agriculturally out to deep mid off. He looks to be ready for lunch now. As am I – the train was late this morning and the queue at Pret was enormous.
@DanLucas86 That DCS Compton can't have been up to much, eh? http://t.co/zjEPUzd9pZ
— atmcq (@atmcq) July 17, 2015
Yeah but imagine being Sourav Ganguly in this one.
114th over: Australia 416-3 (Voges 24, Smith 160) A shovel into the legside apiece brings a single for Smith but then twice that for Voges. He’s looking in very good touch. England have bowled pretty well this morning, much better than yesterday, but this is very good from Australia.
Another You Are The Umpire for us from Robin Hazlehurst: “In a not-very-serious match I was facing a rookie bowler who launched the ball with as much height as length. It was still above shoulder height when it passed me, so the umpire called wide, but it was descending and continued its trajectory onto my stumps, meaning I was given out. Was the umpire’s interpretation legitimate in giving a wide (rather than a no-ball) and if so am I alone in having been clean bowled off a wide?”
Surely the umpire’s called that too early either way and has to call it a dead ball? Dead ball is always my answer.
113th over: Australia 413-3 (Voges 22, Smith 159) For the third over on the spin, Smith gets it underway with a quick single. Voges then gets another boundary, albeit his least convincing yet, as he reaches a long way outside off to play the paddles sweep and only just about gets bat on ball to feather it down to long leg.
112th over: Australia 408-3 (Voges 18, Smith 158) A scampered single to Smith from the first ball brings up Australia’s 400, before Voges flicks one off his pads for four to fine leg. It’s been a very breezy start from Voges, who has three boundaries in his 14. Make that four from his 18, as he rocks forward and cracks a half volley through extra cover.
Tom Gauterin answers the question on why Bradman sent down 2.2 overs in that 1938 Test:
“There’s a tale: Bradman bowled a couple of overs because his bowlers were knackered (they sent down more than 300 overs, remember). He turned his ankle really badly in his third over, and was carried off. It was only at that this point that Hammond, captaining England, was happy that his original plan of getting 1,000 was no longer necessary since Bradman wouldn’t be able to bat. So in a way, it was Bradman’s injury that persuaded Hammond to declare, yes.”
Imagine being so good that the opposition captain thinks “we need a thousand here.” A THOUSAND.
111th over: Australia 399-3 (Voges 10, Smith 157) Time for some spin, with Moeen Ali getting his first go of the morning. Smith likes the look of him and dances down the track to his first ball, getting to the pitch and driving to mid off for one. Voges then uses his wrists really nicely, going for a full one and driving through mid on, Laxman-style, for four.
On the best cricketer names, Eamonn Maloney writes: “At risk of redirecting the riff, but I can’t let a comment like that slide without pointing you in the direction of my alltime favourite (a current player too!) - up and coming Zimbabwean middle order batsman Joylord Gumbie.”
My nomination goes to Fiji’s Ilikena Lasarusa Talebulamaineiilikenamainavaleniveivakabulaimainakulalakebalau. He doesn’t have a bad record, actually.
110th over: Australia 394-3 (Voges 6, Smith 156) Stokes goes up for lbw against Smith, who plays all around one angled back in. He’s a long way back, but it’s hit him above the pad and is going well over. Stokes responds by going wider, overpitching and getting driven through cover for four. Another big appeal from Stokes, against Voges this time, and it’s given not out. After a good think, Cook opts to review, surely out of desperation. Actually it’s not a bad shout, the ball hitting him on the knee roll on the front foot. Umpire’s call though on where it’s hit and the height.
109th over: Australia 389-3 (Voges 6, Smith 151) Wood continues and Voges gets off the mark on his kinda-home ground with a very sweet pull from a bouncer outside off, through midwicket for four. A nudge off the hips brings two more.
Sam Jordison has some questions on England’s 903 declaration back in 1938:
“Why did they declare on 903? Why not 1,000? What did J Hardstaff Jnr (and has any cricketer enjoyed a better name?) think about being cut of 31 runs from double-century glory? Why did Bradman bowl 2.2 overs? Was it his injury that precipitated the decision to declare?”
Good question on Bradman actually, who wasn’t fit to bat.
108th over: Australia 383-3 (Voges 0, Smith 151) A couple more before lunch would make this a dominant session for England and do wonders for their confidence. Another maiden from the parsimonious-so-far-this-morning Stokes.
Either Clarke showed it's not so easy to bat out there, or that the way he's batting it's difficult prettymuch anywhere #Ashes2015
— Daniel Brettig (@danbrettig) July 17, 2015
107th over: Australia 383-3 (Voges 0, Smith 151) I’ve just spotted the typo in the last entry; refresh and it will magically disappear. Wood sends down a rare wide one outside off and Clarke’s eyes light up, but he gets a bit too excited and swings and misses. More discomfort for Clarke as a short one takes the shoulder of the bat but lands safe, but he’s gone next ball! Ballance didn’t have to move and took it comfortably at head height. He very coolly tossed the ball straight to the umpire after taking it, too. A wicket maiden.
Wicket! Clarke c Ballance b Wood 7
Clarke goes after the bouncer, doesn’t keep it down and his hook flies straight into the hands of square leg!
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106th over: Australia 383-2 (Clarke 7, Smith 151) Clarke drives sweetly straight to the fielder at backward point, but it bobbles, there’s a misfield and he gets a run. Smith follows this with four of the things, getting across and just gently pushing it back past the bowler to bring up his 150. Well batted. He should have another boundary as Stokes gives him a wide half volley that’s begging to be put away, but Anderson stops this one well at backward point.
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105th over: Australia 378-2 (Clarke 6, Smith 147) We’re back from drinks and I’m back from the loo. Wood is continuing, bowling from wide of the crease but still not creating a lot. Maiden again.
On Tom Hopkins’ hole in Calgary:
“I’m sure Sky would like to stick a camera in there and call it ‘hole-cam’,” says Stuart Smith. “‘Sky, the only broadcaster that gives you a worm’s eye view’. Maybe they could also put an expert analyst in there too to give a running commentary? I could just see Nassser’s forehead sticking out providing an update on the length of the grass.”
“What if the batsman hits the ball high into the hole, a fielder jumps in and catches it cleanly 3ft below ground level. Is it out?” asks Kenny.
104th over: Australia 378-2 (Clarke 6, Smith 147) Broad, who didn’t bowl a single bouncer to Clarke, is given a rest/hooked* and replaced by Stokes, who begins with a fuss free maiden, featuring nothing to trouble the batsman, before drinks.
*Delete as per how much you like Stuart Broad.
103rd over: Australia 378-2 (Clarke 6, Smith 147) Wood’s pace may be down, but there is at least a touch of movement for him. Quite late too, although that’s no good if you get your line wrong to the batsman and allow him to knock it through the onside. He does so three times, going for a two and a one to Clarke and a two to Smith. The last ball takes the hip and goes down to fine leg for a couple of leg-byes.
102nd over: Australia 371-2 (Clarke 3, Smith 145) Two runs from the over, clips behind square on the leg side. They’re that similar that I thought one was a replay of the other.
101st over: Australia 369-2 (Clarke 2, Smith 144) Change of bowling as Wood comes into the attack. His pace is well down from where it could be – just around 82mph. He’s got another 10 in him, but his line is good – wicket to wicket and making Smith play. Play he does, whipping a single to deep backward square for the only run of the over.
“I’m stuck at work in London with the OBO, writes Heather, “but my little brother back in Oz has just timed this perfectly: my new niece made her debut last night in such a hurry that she arrived in the back of the car on the side of the road outside the local Pet Barn. My brother now has a few weeks off work in which he’s volunteering for any and all night duties as he’ll be up anyway watching the cricket! Brisbane is in the middle of a wicked cold snap right now so my other niece’s suggestions of ‘Elsa’ or ‘Ana’ for the new arrival were being taken under advisement, but after yesterday I wonder if ‘Christine’ or ‘Stephanie’ may make the top ten.”
Happy to comply with your request to withhold your last name, Heather, but then that’s a lot of personal information.
100th over: Australia 368-2 (Clarke 2, Smith 143) Still no change of bowling and that feels like a good move. Clarke is tentative against Broad, not willing to get forward, and the result is a big wafty play and miss as he goes after a wide, full one. Good stuff this from Broad. Gets him fishing like an OBOer desperate for emails a couple of balls later, too.
99th over: Australia 368-2 (Clarke 2, Smith 143) A bouncer from round the wicket isn’t going to trouble Steve Smith, who nails his hook shot round the corner – in the air a while but nowhere near a fielder and safely away for four. The rest of the over is entirely without incident, save five balls being bowled, which gives us time to catch up on emails!
Someone whose name is only Sam, apparently, writes: “I notice no one is mentioning the possibility of large volumes of rain on Sunday (and a little on Monday), giving the possibility of an even more boring draw with hardly anything to watch on the weekend. What fun!”
“Morning Dan.” Morning, Phil Sawyer. “Not sure whether it’s batter or batsman myself and like you I’m not that bothered. However, if you see me out on the middle with a bat in my hand I’m pretty sure the correct term is ‘catastrophic mistake’.”
And finally from Felix Wood: “I wonder how Watson feels about the Cardiff Test rather than this one being his last chance to make enough runs to stay in the team? Having said that, He probabaly wouldn’t have got the chance to bat anyway.”
98th over: Australia 364-2 (Clarke 2, Smith 139) Optimistic England are back as Cook brings in a short leg for Michael Clarke, whose record against Broad is pretty ordinary; the latter having got the former 10 times in Tests. Broad sends down a couple of wide ones, then brings it back in, which Clarke doesn’t look too comfortable with. He’s more comfortable with one on leg though, clumping it out to deep midwicket for a couple.
Chris Rogers' 173 today is the joint-fourth highest score he has made on this ground.
— strangepasserby (@strangepsbcric) July 17, 2015
97th over: Australia 362-2 (Clarke 0, Smith 139) In an attempt to stop Smith from shuffling across to off, Anderson is coming round the wicket now. The batsman’s response is to take guard a mile outside leg and then move across early. A maiden, the result. Anderson will be glad to see the back of Rogers, who took him for a fair few after getting hit first ball this morning.
“Morning Dan,” writes Tom Hopkins. “Here’s one for the Bowden wannabes. I watched a game in Calgary recently and there was a big hole (big as in about five feet square with orange plastic fencing to stop people falling in) about ten yards behind the stumps at one end. Any thoughts on what rules might be applied to deal with this surprise feature?”
Do feel free to send in answers to others’ questions, by the way. My guess is dead ball if it goes in the hole here.
96th over: Australia 362-2 (Clarke 0, Smith 139) Full and wide from Broad and that draws a false stroke from Smith, an inside edge out to square leg. A single brings Rogers on strike and he too is tempted into driving at a wide one, only he nails it through cover for four more. He tries again next ball though, getting forward too late, and that does for him! It’s the first wicket England have actually earned in this match, you would think.
Lots of talk in the inbox over whether it’s “batter” or “batsman”. As far as I know, “batter” is thought of as the politically correct term, but then I can’t remember anyone being offended by “batsman”. If you’re a woman and are offended, do write in.
Or nobody write in about this anymore. Actually let’s go with that.
Wicket! Rogers b Broad 173
Bloody hell it’s out! Broad bowls it on a length, gets it to move slightly back into the batsman, who is looking to drive expansively. It takes the faintest inside edge and crashes into middle and leg.
Updated
95th over: Australia 357-1 (Rogers 169, Smith 138) Steve Smith seems to have all the time in the world. Anderson isn’t the slowest, but by the time his first ball reaches the batsman outside off stump, he’s come right across to meet it and punch it down to long on for four. That’s four boundaries off Jimmy so far this morning.
94th over: Australia 352-1 (Rogers 169, Smith 133) Broad hits Rogers on the pad with one that nips back and keeps a touch low, but it pitched a long way outside leg and, though the angle was bringing it back into the batsman, it was swinging back and probably missing too. The next ball is a similar one, a touch shorter, and knocked down to long leg for two.
James writes: “It requires Cook and Bell to rediscover their form in pretty short order but there’s nothing to say England won’t put on a massive knock themselves and turn the whole event into a high scoring draw.”
I’ll be honest, that’s what I’m fearing. That sounds deathly dull. Meanwhile, John Starbuck has sent information.
“For future reference, the neck protection of a helmet is usually known as an aventail in arms and armour vocabulary.”
You’ve been watching Game of Thrones, haven’t you?
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93rd over: Australia 350-1 (Rogers 167, Smith 133) Anderson’s first ball is, I think, an attempted bouncer from round the wicket. It doesn’t get up, there’s no short leg in place and it’s easily turned away for a single. A couple of balls later, Smith brings up the 350 by driving a half volley perfectly through cover for four. There’s half a shout for lbw as Jimmy goes straighter, but the ball took the inside edge and probably hit outside the line in any case.
The email in that last entry was from Bob Miller, by the way. Sorry, Bob.
92nd over: Australia 345-1 (Rogers 166, Smith 129) From the Nursery End, Stuart Broad, with three very close slips. He nearly finds them with the first ball, albeit not off the bat but rather wide and swinging further away. “I think England had a pretty good day yesterday,” says Warne. He’s not even taking the piss. Broad’s final ball is full, outside off and has Smith fishing.
“Considering it is as beautifully smooth as the pitch can we start bowling on the honours board? Then every other batter (it isn’t batsman anymore, deal with it) could just write their names on it while they’re there.”
Call me old-fashioned, but I genuinely couldn’t care less whether you called them batsmen or batters.
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91st over: Australia 345-1 (Rogers 166, Smith 129) Jimmy Anderson will get things underway with the nine-overs-old ball. The sun is breaking through and oof! Rogers ducks into the very first ball, takes his eye off it and wears it hard on the side of the head. It didn’t bounce that high, but Rogers didn’t play it that well – it caught him on the neck protecting flap at the back of the helmet. It’s very lucky that he’s wearing the new style, especially with his history of concussion. As it is, it’s just a cut behind the ear and he’s OK to continue. And continue he does nicely, driving a wide, floaty one through cover for four, which brings up the record for any Australian partnership in England, beating Taylor and Slater’s 260 in 1993. Anderson responds with another bouncer, but then Rogers drives another full one behind point for four more.
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Players are out. We’ll be playing cricket soon, I would imagine.
And another:
@DanLucas86 Trying to be positive, am I the only one who thinks 3 days bowling on this might just break the Mitchells?
— Spike Harby (@spikeharby) July 17, 2015
It’d be tough on them. But then they are three of them, they have Warner, Hazlewood, Lyon and Clarke who can all play varying support roles and there’s a week between this Test and the next one.
A few emails.
“Not sure what approach to adopt here,” begins Ian Copestake, who is quick to make his mind up. “Blind optimism or grim acceptance of the inevitable. The latter obviously.”
Robert Hogg: “I had a dream last night that there were in fact three teams taking part in the Lords Test and that the Aussies had miscalculated their innings for batting way too long seeing as Pakistan still needed to come in and bat on a flat pitch. Do you think this might happen today?”
Thank you, Robert.
Simon Burnton has arrived in the office. “They could be legends!” he says of Australia. They could make history. Make 903, win it in four days. Simple.
My thinking is that if they try to break that Ashes record, they will ensure that Lord’s never gets a Test again.
“They could destroy the England bowlers,” says Simon. “There’s no counter argument.”
Yes it really really really could happen.
Five down at lunch, 480 all out. England 140-1 at close. #ashes #iveneverbeenwrongbefore
— James Sherwood (@SherwoodJam) July 17, 2015
When the days they seem to fall through you well just let them go.
Correspondence!
@guardian_sport @DanLucas86 do we have to? Cant we just fast forward to the exciting bits?
— Misanthrope (@Misa_nthrope) July 17, 2015
You want to head here, I think.
What would you rather have the opposition on at the end of day one? 337 for one or 364 for two? I’d say that at least England didn’t invite it on themselves this time, but then there was that drop at slip off Smith, which is damn poor on this wicket. The good news for England, who are probably already out of the running for the win, is that Lord’s always tends to get easier to bat on as the match goes on. Also aside from that New Zealand Test, which was played on a different strip to the usual one in the centre, the pitch has been pretty damn slow all season.
There’s a new edition of You Are The Umpire out! In fact, should we need a riff today, why not test your OBOers out with some YATUesque questions? Simon Burnton is going to love me for this.
Preamble
Morning folks. Australia’s day yesterday then, shall we say? Yeah we’ll give them that.
This really isn’t good from an English perspective. Of course it’s really good if you’re an Australia fan. The tourists are well poised to go on and score an absolute shedload in the first innings – already you would think that it will take a great effort from England’s batsmen to make Australia bat again.
Remember the England team of circa 2011? Their approach was simple: bat first, score about 700-odd and then let SB Pressure (in this series renamed Mitch) roll the opposition over twice and... well that’s it, actually. That wins you matches, more often than not.
Australia, with four days left in this match and nine wickets in hand, could do a Flower’s England on New England here. Easily. They have loads of batting in hand and could conceivably bat all day here then give themselves three days to take 20 England wickets. It’s a risky ploy, given the nature of English weather and the fact that this England batting lineup is actually quite good, but it’s a possibility.
Play begins at 11am. There’s a little bit of rain around King’s Cross so it’s presumably there in St. John’s Wood too, but there’s nothing to worry about. Unless you’re me, and came into the office wearing shorts and a t-shirt.
Feeling gloomy, England fans? Well there’s a new Wilco album out! Wilco!
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