Oh, a quick last thing: here’s Ali Martin’s initial take on things, which ought to keep you going until Mike Selvey’s report in a little bit:
A thoroughly enjoyable day’s play, which England will rightly feel they have just shaded. Australia trail by 166 runs with 5 wickets remaining in the first innings. There were 350-odd runs today and eight wickets, which has got to be worth the price of entry. England’s bowlers stuck to a tidy line on a pitch that wasn’t much helping them. Meanwhile Chris Rogers was excellent: his driving an absolute joy to watch. Smith and Clarke were busy, trying to get things moving with a softish ball and not much pace in the attack. So all in all: good stuff. Thanks for joining us, wherever you are in the world. See you tomorrow
Updated
70th over: Australia 264-5 (Watson 29, Lyon 6)
Stokes is roared in again by the crowd as Lyon blocks. Every single England fielder is in a catching position and Stokes finds Lyon’s edge with his second delivery. The ball dies on its way to Root at ultra-close short third slip though. Lyon then gets off the mark with four, flicking the ball off his pads. Moeen chases it down then slips as he catches up to it on the boundary, touching the ball and rope at the same time and – inadvertently? – keeping Lyon on strike. A swish from Lyon to a leg side ball draws hopes of a strangle but nothing doing, before a solid block to the last ball of the day brings things to a close with a two. A very good day’s Test cricket.
69th over: Australia 258-5 (Watson 29, Lyon 0)
Wood drops one short to Watson and catches him by surprise. The batsman pulls wildly, and is lucky not to nick the ball to Buttler. Wood’s next couple are full and straight, before he attempts another short ball. This one barely bounces at all, perhaps deliberately from Wood as he hurled it down with a cross seam. Watson misses it again, so Wood bowls him another. This one does get up and the batsman leaves it well alone. Probably one more over in the day.
68th over: Australia 258-5 (Watson 29, Lyon 0)
That’s the cheer you hear go up when you’re 30 yards outside the stadium ... Stokes has deserved that wicket for this spell, it’s been by far his best of the day. His pace is down but his accuracy up and gets the ball to just nip off the seam, which is enough for it to pop up a little bit, meaning Voges is not in control of the drive. Anderson takes a regulation catch.
Cook brings in five slips, a short cover, short midwicket and short mid-on, a regular cauldron of hate for Lyon who has come in as nightwatchman. Root, at third slip and under a lid, is very close indeed. The crowd roar Stokes in and he has Lyon nicking his first ball but surviving for the rest of the over.
WICKET! Voges c Anderson b Stokes 31 (Australia 258-5)
That puts Voges out of his misery. Stokes, who has bowled very well in this spell, finally induces Voges to drive but he simply chips the ball to Anderson in the covers. A tame end to a tame innings.
Updated
67th over: Australia 258-4 (Voges 31, Watson 29)
Watson pulls Wood but not convincingly and he bottom edges it past Buttler. And there’s Broad! He’s not off the field but grazing at deep fine leg. He wangs the ball at full pelt at Lyth who is attending the stumps at the keeper’s ends while Buttler composes himself. Lyth looks mildly miffed at quite how hard Broad threw that at him.
“This is Emmett Fitzgerald from earthquake town in Nepal loving my OBO,” emails Emmett Fitzgerald from earthquake town in Nepal. “Spent the week in a UN tent camp out in the wilds of earthquake damage, but caught a last minute ride back to Kathmandu. So I’m unexpectedly sitting on the sixth floor of a hotel with the cricket, happy as a clam. Trying not to think aftershock.” So are England.
Updated
66th over: Australia 256-4 (Voges 30, Watson 28)
Stokes to Voges. Full and straight. Maiden. Or it would have been had Stokes not dropped another outrageous bumper into the mix which bounces so far over Voges’s head it is called a wide. That off sets the rhythm of the over, and Voges flashes hard at a full ball outside off which he nicks past second slip’s outstretched hand for a desperately lucky four. The next ball he nearly chops onto his own stumps. So ignore both the second and third sentence in this entry. It’s late, I’m not going to delete them. Live with it.
65th over: Australia 251-4 (Voges 26, Watson 28)
As a nod to our newly discovered nautical colleagues on the OBO, here’s a nautical term: this game has entered the doldrums. Voges and Watson are playing for the close, and why wouldn’t they be? The wicket is slow and the bowlers becalmed. Watson does sneak an edge through third/fourth slip for four but not because he much wanted to. It’s that time of the day when you turn down another beer in the stands and start thinking about sneaking out before the rest of the crowd (only to then get that heart-stopping lurch when you hear a distant cheer go up that could either be wicket or beer snake shenanigans as you’re 30 yards outside of the ground).
64th over: Australia 247-4 (Voges 26, Watson 24)
Stokes once more and he tries a slower ball which, on a slow pitch like this, isn’t the worst plan in the world. Voges is so embedded in block mode that he doesn’t even think about driving it so Stokes’s good thinking is somewhat scuppered by the fact the batsman appears to have no intention of hitting anything. Perhaps in frustration, Stokes attempts a bouncer - a wild one that swings ludicrously down the leg side and has Buttler sprawling brilliantly behind the stumps. A maiden.
63rd over: Australia 247-4 (Voges 26, Watson 24)
That’s the end of Moeen, and not before time. Wood is back. Still no Broad, though, nor any sign of him. Wood is slightly over ambitiously hunting a Watto lbw and, in attempting to bowl full and straight, drifts onto leg stump and has to take his punishment: a four through midwicket.
“As an actual American who has a laptop showing the match at work and my regular work computer on the OBO, I take offence - OFFENCE! - at Tom Spencer’s remark,” howls Erik Petersen. “I’m forever hearing the old chestnut about how Americans ‘would never understand something that lasts five days and produces no result.’ Anyone who thinks we can’t grasp something that drags on forever and produces no edifying result clearly hasn’t watched us elect a president.”
62nd over: Australia 242-4 (Voges 25, Watson 20)
That’s a good shout! Stokes catches Watson on his big front pad, a big old thudding sound clumping around the Swalec. It was probably going over and Marais Erasmus dolefully shakes his head. Cook wisely accepts his decision and Hawkeye goes on to suggest he was right to. Later in the over, Stokes persuades Watson to lunge once more and waft outside the off stump. Very close to a nick. Good over.
61st over: Australia 240-4 (Voges 24, Watson 19)
More Moeen. Wonder where Broad is. Not even sure he’s on the pitch at the moment. Voges pushes two through backward point as he continues to slowly accumulate.
60th over: Australia 238-4 (Voges 22, Watson 19)
Stokes has a crack at Watson, and just brings his length back a little for his first two deliveries, before offering Watson the chance to drive with his third and fourth. Watto declines both invites in the manner of a maiden aunt being asked to a warehouse rave. Stokes ends the over with the perfect delivery to Watson: right up in the blockhole. The batsman stabs his bat down and handles it immaculately: good cricket.
Here’s Katherine Piper with a tale that made me chuckle: “Re explaining cricket to non-believers: I’m not there right now, but I spend several weeks a year working on an archaeological dig in Egypt, where everyone is obsessed with football. The first year I was there, I was asked by some of my Egyptian colleagues which football team I support, so I told them that I’m not really into football, but I like cricket. This was met with a short silence, before one of my colleagues asked, ‘Is that with horses?’”
59th over: Australia 238-4 (Voges 22, Watson 19)
Nope, Moeen is back on and Watson smears him over midwicket for a slog sweep four then clubs him high through the same area for another boundary. Three milked singles follow. Eleven from the over, and 22 from the last two overs.
Updated
58th over: Australia 227-4 (Voges 21, Watson 9)
That’s why Anderson wasn’t worried about the ball, he’s come off. Stokes is back on. He offered too many freebies in his last spell, never building much pressure on the batsman. Let’s see what he can do this time. The answer, initially, is an Anderson-like full and straight line. But that discipline means he sacrifices some pace and the over is delivered at 83-85mph, which is well below his quickest. There follows some textbook Stokes: he bowls a brilliant delivery which keeps low and misses the off stump by a fraction before then dropping one short down the leg, which goes for four leg byes off the thigh pad.
57th over: Australia 223-4 (Voges 21, Watson 9)
Cook has more ball issues. This time, however, it’s the one they’re using on the pitch rather than his own (see the 15th over) The umpires try to force the thing through their ball-shaped template and find it doesn’t go, so a man trots out with a box of different balls and they replace it. Anderson had been finding a little reverse with the original ball, so that is faintly perplexing. Voges christens the new ball with a tickle to fine leg for four, a prod to deep mid on for two and another tickled single. Watson is less ticklish and clubs Moeen for four to square leg. That’ll be the last we see of Moeen for a while, I’d wager.
56th over: Australia 212-4 (Voges 14, Watson 5)
Anderson’s approach to Watson is precisely the same as his approach to Voges: full and straight. Watto responds with an utterly textbook series of Watto lunges down the pitch, his front leg extending roughly four and half miles down the strip, his front pad approximately the size of a cow, as The Wonderstuff once sang. Anderson has bowled five maidens in this six over spell.
55th over: Australia 212-4 (Voges 14, Watson 5)
More Moeen, which I’m surprised about. Would have thought that Cook would want to target Watson’s famously immobile front leg with some pace before he gets moving. As it is, Watson pushes a drive to Anderson at mid-on and has to motor to get down the other end before the bowler throws down his stumps. Still, it does mean that Jimmy will get a chance at him, rather than Voges, at the other end now.
54th over: Australia 211-4 (Voges 14, Watson 4)
Anderson is back in again Voges: full, straight and just drifting in a touch. Finally, Voges gets a short one and prods it to extra cover. He looks hopefully at Watson in an attempt to get off strike. Watson tells him to sling it and so Voges sees out another maiden, Anderson’s third on the trot.
Oh, Paul Spencer from Oregon: would this help? A handy guide for explaining the Ashes to an American audience
53rd over: Australia 211-4 (Voges 14, Watson 4)
Have to admit, I thought Moeen would struggle against Clarke, with the Australian batsman far too classy a player of spin to be worried by England’s not entirely full-time tweaker. But Moeen tempted him down the wicket to a ball that was too full to charge and Clarke simply thumped it straight back at the bowler.
That brings walking front pad Shane Watson to the crease: expect more full and straight stuff from Anderson next over as he looks to get either batsman lbw. Watson gets off the mark with a drive through the vacant extra cover region when Moeen offers him his now traditional one poor ball an over.
“Adding to the foreign audience, I’m at work at a brewery in Portland, Oregon,” emails Paul Spencer. “One of two Aussies in the place, and there are no Poms to sledge (there is one South African - we’ve had some fun with him lately). If Rosalind thinks explaining cricket to Mexicans is hard, try explaining it to the Americans.” An Australian in a brewery? You take the boy out of Australia etc.
WICKET! Clarke c and b Mooen 38 (Australia 207-4)
Well, that’s got to count as an inspired change by Cook. He had only just brought Moeen into the attack and, with the batsman looking to attack the spinner, Clarke trotted down the wicket and simply lofted the ball straight back to the bowler. A key wicket!
Updated
52nd over: Australia 207-3 (Clarke 38, Voges 14)
Anderson keeps Voges honest by targeting his stumps. The Ashes debutant is getting in line behind the ball but he’s not able to get anything away for runs. Another good over, another maiden. Australia trail by 223.
51st over: Australia 207-3 (Clarke 38, Voges 14)
And here is Mooen as England continue to cycle their options, keeping things moving and proactively looking for answers on a flat wicket. Decent captaincy this, though it would help if Moeen wasn’t over-pitching the ball to Clarke and offering one of the world’s best players of spin the chance to drive him effortlessly through the covers for four.
“Over 47,” parps Derek Fordham. “ Cuernavaca? Is that Mexican/Spanish for Cow Corner?”
Updated
50th over: Australia 202-3 (Clarke 34, Voges 13)
Anderson fields off his own bowling, and immediately throws the ball to the slips so that whoever is the designated ball-shiner can go about his business. He’s clearly looking for reverse, demanding the ball be shone up a treat. It’s working too, Anderson drifts one into Clarke, then howls as the ball then expansively leaves the batsman off the seam. Another lovely over from Anderson.
“Matt, NGO worker from Blackpool in Guatemala City,” says Matt Meehan, politely introducing himself. “Stuck in horrendous traffic with some exceptionally annoyed American donors so I’ve got my concerned and apologetic face on, while secretly very pleased that I’ve got more time to read the cricket updates. Another wicket before it clears up would be grand!” Annoyed Americans and cricket. Now that is living.
49th over: Australia 202-3 (Clarke 34, Voges 13)
Stokes has looked the least convincing of the England bowlers today and, after a loose leg-side delivery, Voges punches him down the ground for four to bring up Australia’s 200. Moen is warming up on the boundary, but has to interrupt his stretches to field a leg glance to square leg for a couple more. But then Stokes gets something from nowhere: a ball which angles into the off stump, keeps unreasonably low and misses stump and edge by a whisker.
@TomBry Trying to watch from Stockholm. Sadly the only Pom in sledging distance is my 3 year old son. He's taking it like a champ though.
— Mark Brereton (@maqusan) July 9, 2015
48th over: Australia 196-3 (Clarke 34, Voges 7)
Anderson is still finding swing and drifts a delivery into Voges’s pads. He is lucky he gets a touch of inside edge to the ball before it thumps into his legs, with the ball going onto hit middle and leg. He runs two but Anderson continues to bowl very straight and look for an lbw, with Voges offering plenty of encouragement by continuing to play in front of his pads. Three from the over, Australia trail by 234.
47th over: Australia 193-3 (Clarke 34, Voges 4)
Stokes replaces Wood, which is a shame as Wood v Clarke was looking quite an interesting battle. Clarke drives him fluently for four, but then edges him less fluently through third man for another boundary.
“In football-mad Mexico,” emails Rosalind Pearson Hedge. “Sneakily reading your reports and keeping up with everything. Am at work and not mentioning my interest in the Ashes to anyone as they all think cricket is crazy and totally incomprehensible. The only Brit in our design agency here in Cuernavaca and tolerated for my love of Marmite and sausages, but raving about cricket would be pushing it a bit ...” A design agency in Cuernavaca, eh? Get you.
46th over: Australia 185-3 (Clarke 26, Voges 4)
Jimmy Anderson comes on to replace Broad, who hasn’t had the desired effect in winkling out Clarke . Anderson finds considerable outswing, and makes the most of it by pitching it right up to Voges. A maiden.
45th over: Australia 185-3 (Clarke 26, Voges 4)
Well, Clarke doesn’t quite have Wood’s number. The bowler is wide into the crease, and drops a tempter on a good length outside off stump. Clarke bites, swishes and misses and Buttler puffs his cheeks out behind the stumps as the ball misses the edge by a whisker. Two deliveries later, Wood catches Clarke on his pads on the crease. The ball was missing leg by a distance, which doesn’t stop everyone appealing loudly but does stop them from reviewing the not out decision. Very good over from Wood, that wicket’s got his gander up.
44th over: Australia 185-3 (Clarke 26, Voges 4)
I reckon that would have been Wood’s last over for a while , but as it is he has his first Ashes wicket: and a vital one it was too because Rogers looked very well set. Broad continues at the other end and will get four balls at the new man Voges after Clarke hits a single off his second ball. Voges leaves a couple then plays two rock solid forward defences.
43rd over: Australia 184-3 (Clarke 25, Voges 4)
The over began with Clarke tucking Wood around the corner for four to fine leg, a slight grin playing around the corners of the mouth as he did so. Then he clobbered him more authentically to square leg for three a moment later to bring up a quickfire 50 partnership (57 balls). Clarke was looking on top of Wood, but then the bowler cleaned up Rogers and so what do I know?
Voges comes to the crease and gets off the mark chipping a bump ball unconvincingly over the slips. Meanwhile Rogers has a record: the only batsman to hit seven consecutive 50s, but no hundreds. Not a record he’ll be delighted with, admittedly.
WICKET! Rogers c Buttler b Wood 95 (Australia 180-3)
It really was the nervous nineties. After a tricky over against Broad, Rogers swishes loosely at a fast Wood delivery and Buttler does the business after he nicks it.
Updated
42nd over: Australia 173-2 (Rogers 95, Clarke 18)
Broad to Rogers, and a punch through the off side brings the batsman two nearer his century. But he’s nearly cleaned up shortly afterwards: Broad bangs it in short again - again surprising the bejesus out of Rogers - and the batsman tries to get out of the way of it, realises he can’t and uncomfortably scoops the ball over Buttler for four. Nervous 90s indeed. Broad tries it again a few balls later and Rogers attempts a more deliberate flick over Buttler, but misses the ball completely. Good over from Broad.
“Pah! Thought I was going to get a special nautical mention as I am tootling out of Esbjerg (Denmark) on a construction vessel, after a rather uneventful port call and heading back in to the bad weather,” emails Neil Evans. “Looks like I’ve been beaten to it by Bentley in Borneo. I live about 5 mins walk from sunny Sophia Gardens, and despite the fact that the irony is killing me. The Norwegian skipper is surprisingly unwilling to toot the horn every time we get a wicket...a la Curtley Ambrose’s mum. A bit churlish if you ask me.”
41st over: Australia 167-2 (Rogers 89, Clarke 18)
Rogers leaps onto full ball on middle and leg and strokes it down the ground for four, before following it up with three to square leg as he glides towards the 90s.
“Re. 38th over,” splutters an email from I know not who. “‘Protect the crowd’? As in, try to land your six between the rope and the seats?” I think it’s more to stop the crowd from ending up with a cricketer in their laps. Or, indeed, to stop a cricketer from ending up in the advertising hoardings.
40th over: Australia 160-2 (Rogers 82, Clarke 18)
Broad gets a go at Clarke now and has three slips in and two men on the hook. Clarke is expecting a short one at any moment, so Broad sends a full delivery down which catches the Australian captain off guard and finds the inside edge. Broad repeats the trick and Clarke is onto him, driving him down the ground for three. For Rogers, he has just one slip, a gully and two men catching at short mid off and short cover in the hope the batsman will pop up a catch in front of the wicket. Four from the over.
39th over: Australia 156-2 (Rogers 81, Clarke 15)
Wood sprints into Clarke again and the Australian captain is not entirely comfortable. He gets off strike with a short arm jab to midwicket for one, but it’s just possible that Wood might have something on Clarke.
“I must be up for a mention as I am 125 miles northeast off Miri off the north coast of Borneo on a ship servicing a large floating oil platform,” writes Bentley. “This read up is the only chance I get to keep an eye on the score and cheer or groan in the appropriate places for England. Still a tad early to say and a couple of wickets early this session would be good to edge it our way a little. Early days and thank you for the written commentary, there are many seafarers like me who enjoy them.” Who knew?
38th over: Australia 155-2 (Rogers 81, Clarke 14)
Broad continues round the wicket to Rogers, digging in a surprise short ball to the batsman. Rogers swings wildly, completely caught out, and hoicks the ball high in the air to backwards square leg. Moeen is under it but the boundary there is particularly short and, instead, Rogers records his first six in Test cricket. No fault of Moeen’s there, who was hampered by the fact the rope has been brought in to make the boundary shorter (in order to protect the crowd, apparently) and rather than Rogers being on his way, he goes into the 80s. The final ball of the over is another peach, drawing Rogers into a prod then leaving him to much oohing and aahing from the keeper and slip.
“I’m not, strictly, far from home, seeing as I am currently sat in my own house,” emails Mac Millings. “But I’m pretty far from the outside world, if only because, here in South Carolina, it still appears to be the 1950s.”
37th over: Australia 149-2 (Rogers 75, Clarke 14)
Cook is going to open things after tea with some pace. Wood sets himself at the end of his short mark, rocks back and sets off like a sprinter before hitting the crease and wanging it down in the mid-erm-80s. So not quite up to speed yet. Clarke cuts/edges a bit late through third man for two, before inside edging an attempted back foot defence to midwicket for one. His last delivery has Clarke edging with soft hands and the ball drops short of Root at third slip. A good battle brewing here.
For those looking for the ECB link to TMS on YouTube: it’s here. Which is, of course, no reason for you to leave us
Right, the players will be back out on the pitch any minute now, with Australia resuming on 145 for 2 in reply to England’s 430, and so trail by 285 runs with 8 wickets remaining in the firstst innings. Rogers and Clarke are the men in.
Here’s Jeinsen Lam: “Watching from Vietnam is nothing. I am in the heart of darkness aka Croydon. I perfectly expect to regress into Col. Kurtz by the end of this series ...”
Meanwhile, back in Saigon. “Also in Saigon, nursing a Saigon green, but the TV at the pub quiz night doesn’t have the cricket. We’re making do with Wimbledon, but will surely be heavily frowned upon for checking my phone during a pub quiz. The lengths we go to for the game,” emails Séamus in Saigon, somewhat needlessly pointing out that he is, indeed, in Saigon.
And here’s Ben Young: “I’ll lay a claim to furthest from home and send a missive from Siquijor, Philippines. Hot bed of cricket this is not. But aside from having to endure State Of Origin something or other last night I’ve done pretty well getting to watch. Except for the brown outs. And the blackouts. And the typhoons.” Your claim would be better, Ben, if I knew where you from in the first place.
Mathew Tom, we’ve all been here: “On holiday in the South of France with wife, mother in law and baby son. Having struggled for half an hour to locate the ECB’s well-hidden YouTube channel playing TMS, I’m now being told it’s antisocial to listen to it. I may not be all that far from my London home, but I feel further away from life as I knew it than I have ever been.”
Crikey:
Dan Meatyard: “I’m somewhere in the central highlands of Vietnam beneath a mosquito net. My guide dropped me off in a very dodgy motel miles from anywhere and I’m reading the cricket so I don’t nod off and get murdered.”
Dan, meet Tom Simpson: “I’m in Saigon in Vietnam. Now technically I’m here for work long term, but I’m definitely not Vietnamese, so, far from my normal home. Watching the game on Channel 9 in a bar nursing a Saigon Special. Warney and the commentary team seem to be attempting a new low in terms of #lads #banter, although luckily the stream keeps freezing up so I get a break every now and again. Vietnamese Internet is notoriously unreliable.”
36th over: Australia 145-2 (Rogers 74, Clarke 11)
There’s a genuinely Australian-esque deep blue sky over the Swalec Stadium as Broad continues to send the ball across the left-handed Rogers. The bowler changes tack and comes round the wicket, angling the ball into the stumps. The batsman is watchful right up until the last ball of the over, in which he inside edges the ball back across his stumps, through his own legs. And that’s tea: go and stick the kettle on.
Good news for England’s hopes in future Ashes tours shocker! Kristen Blomeley emails: “I’m an Aussie trying to watch the cricket with my English husband in Bali. Place is full of Aussies but the sports bars are empty. Not a sniff of interest. Sad indication of future of Test match cricket in Australia.”
35th over: Australia 145-2 (Rogers 74, Clarke 11)
Clarke nicks Mooen through second slip now and runs a quick two. He’s chatting away with the close fielders already, a wry grin on his face. Nothing on the stump mic about anyone’s arms yet. He’s busy in the crease, quick feet dancing him to the pitch of Moeen’s bowling before he clumps a short deliver to square leg for an authoritative four.
Brendan Smyly sees Stuart Lacy’s Omani desert and raises him: “We are from the Blue Mountains, just west of Sydney, (current temp.= 5C), and are on Curaçao in the Caribbean visiting my wife’s family. Not much cricket here either, except on the Guardian blog. Current temp. = 30C.”
34th over: Australia 139-2 (Rogers 74, Clarke 5)
Cook wastes no time in bringing on Broad against Clarke, who has a bit of of hoodoo over the Aussie captain. Rogers whips a single off Broad’s first delivery to bring Clarke to the crease and he nicks his first ball through third slip for four then runs a quick single to get himself the hell off strike again. Rogers then treats the crowd to his 300th beautiful off drive of the day, this one whistling straight back past Broad on his follow through for four.
Stuart Lacy is away: “Middle of the Omani desert, stupidly hot, definitely not on holiday ...”
33rd over: Australia 129-2 (Rogers 69, Clarke 0)
Smith had been trying to be very positive against Mooen, but Cook had got himself right into the batsman’s eyeline at short mid on. Smith came rampaging down the wicket, Moeen saw him coming and fired the ball at leg stump. Smith got himself in a terrible tangle trying to play the ball and simply popped it up to Cook. Good captaincy, good bowling.
WICKET! Smith c Cook b Moeen 33 (Australia129-2)
FUNKY CAPTAINCY ALERT. Cook has fiddled the field and frustrated Smith, who comes down the wicket, plays across the line and chips to the captain at mid on.
Updated
32nd over: Australia 127-1 (Rogers 69, Smith 31)
Smith bottom edges the ball into the ground and up into the slips, where he is well caught off a bump ball. The crowd roar, but nobody on the pitch does. Still, the umpires go up to the third umpire just to check. Not out, clearly. Stokes bangs in a short one a few balls later and catches the batsman on his thigh pad, with Smith all obtuse elbows, pointy angles and squared up chest. The No1 batsman in the world proving there that the MCC coaching manual may as well be loo roll.
Nicholas Turner is away from home: “in the Turks and Caicos. I’m in Fort Lauderdale for laser surgery on my eyes.”
Righto.
31st over: Australia 125-1 (Rogers 69, Smith 30)
Rogers works a single to leg, bringing Smith on strike. Cook has got a couple of men catching, funkily, at short midwicket and short mid-on so Smith clips a single between them slightly becalmed.
Updated
30th over: Australia 123-1 (Rogers 68, Smith 29)
More Stokes, who dangles the ball just outside Smith’s off stump. Smith leaves them well alone - which Moeen will be grateful for, since it leaves him at the non striker’s end while he’s bowling. A maiden.
“Afternoon Tom. When you’re on holiday is when the OBO really comes into its own,” emails Simon McMahon as a means of bragging that he is on holiday and you are not. “The northern tip of Mallorca is not exactly a cricket hotbed. Times like this is what the Internet, and the OBO, was invented for. Technology, eh? Bloody hell.”
Just to put him in his place, is there anyone further from their normal home? I’m aware that this is quite a hard thing for your OBO correspondent to verify so you’re honour bound to tell the truth ...
Updated
29th over: Australia 123-1 (Rogers 68, Smith 29)
Sky have just unveiled a peerless stat: Rogers may have just made seven consecutive 50s but, according to their research, nobody has ever made 50 consecutive scores of over seven. Closest is 48 apparently. Mooen continues, two from the over.
28th over: Australia 121-1 (Rogers 66, Smith 29)
Wood comes off and we’ll have our first look at Stokes today. He comes in with enough intent but both Smith and Rogers tuck him away for a one and a two, before Rogers unfurls another of those classy drives past mid off. Wood cuts it off before it gets the boundary it deserves. These two have kept the run rate up since Smith wandered out: six off the over.
In other news, here’s hoping Rogers is out before he reaches his ton:
Yesss. I love an obscure cricket world record, and Chris Rogers might be about to break one today. http://t.co/vMWaREdcmt
— Geoff Lemon Sport (@GeoffLemonSport) July 9, 2015
27th over: Australia 115-1 (Rogers 61, Smith 28)
Smith, who has just struggled to get going, gets going with a classy drive down the ground for four and then a club to the same spot, before and out and out smear over mid off. Ali’s over starts: four, dot, four, four as Smith makes it clear that he is targetting Moeen far more effectively than England targetted Lyon. Thirteen from the over.
Updated
26th over: Australia 102-1 (Rogers 61, Smith 15)
Cook wanders gingerly back out onto the field, and the rest of the England players do well not to snigger as he does so. He’s in time to watch Rogers lean into a solid length ball from Wood and stroke it to the cover boundary. Just to highlight the exclusive club that the batsman has just joined - these are the others to have scored seven consecutive fifties. Meanwhile, the Australian 100 comes up as does Rogers’ and Smith’s 50 partnership from just 68 balls. Test cricket, eh? Not like it was in my day.
25th over: Australia 95-1 (Rogers 55, Smith 14)
Mooen Ali pulls out of his second delivery as, just as he approaches the crease, Billy the trumpeter parps out a quick fanfare from somewhere in the stands. Thanks Billy! He finds Roger’s edge shortly afterwards – Mooen that is, not Billy – and the batsman is lucky to get a boundary rather than be gobbled up by Root at wide-ish first slip.
24th over: Australia 91-1 (Rogers 51, Smith 14)
Wood offers Smith some rare width but he rather misses out, clubbing the ball with the toe end of his bat through point for a two that could have been four. There is more odd bounce next up as the ball dies on Buttler after it passes the stumps and dribbles past him for two byes, before Smith pulls the bowler for a couple more. Wood is unlucky on the final ball of the over - Smith pulls again, and bottom edges the ball just past his stumps for four to fine leg. Ten off the over, but the bowler had the better of the batsman at the end there.
23rd over: Australia 81-1 (Rogers 51, Smith 6)
Afternoon everyone. Mooen comes on for his second over of the day and Rogers progresses calmly to his seventh consecutive 50 with a clip through midwicket for two and then a calmly taken couple more. He joins Weekes, Andy Flower, Chanderpaul and Sangakkara in achieving the feat. So well done him.
Updated
22nd over: Australia 76-1 (Rogers 47, Smith 6)
Rogers gets a single from Wood’s first delivery and Smith, who has now scored off just three of his first 21 deliveries, deals uncomfortably with the remainder of the over without adding to his total, and is looking far from surefooted at the moment. And as the players take drinks, I’m going to tag-team to Tom Bryant - all emails to tom.bryant@theguardian.com from here on in, please. Bye!
21st over: Australia 76-1 (Rogers 46, Smith 6)
Rogers hits in the air to extra cover, where there’s nobody to catch him so he gets four runs instead. And then he’s troubled by a short ball that flies into his chest; Rogers looks surprised by the bounce, but plays it perfectly.
Well directed bouncer is just the ticket to Rogers
— Ali Martin (@Cricket_Ali) July 9, 2015
Updated
20th over: Australia 71-1 (Rogers 41, Smith 6)
Lovely ball from Wood, angled across Rogers and just past the bat. And then the same batsman sends the ball past mid-off, Broad racing after it and eventually catching up with it as the batsmen run their third run. And still no sign of England’s captain, who seemed to be running pretty freely as he left the field, but is clearly still sore.
19th over: Australia 68-1 (Rogers 38, Smith 6)
Another excellent cover drive from Rogers. He’s produced a couple of beauties now, as Moeen did earlier in the day, and then he gets a bonus run a couple of balls later when Stokes misfields at gully. “Has anyone else just experienced a moment of joyous relief at realising that it’s not Kane Williamson coming in first down?” asks Tom Adam. “What a player that man is, the wounds are still healing!” I’m not sure England are going to find Smith any less troublesome.
18th over: Australia 63-1 (Rogers 33, Smith 6)
Phwoar! A shortish delivery from Wood rises and whooshes past Smith’s chest, with the batsman not quite sure what to do with his bat but just about getting it out of the way. A single for each batsman here.
17th over: Australia 61-1 (Rogers 32, Smith 5)
Fascinating to see Anderson bowl at Smith, knowing that he’ll have a very cunning plan and waiting for it to be revealed. Still not certain, but there are a succession of outswingers here, and Smith gets off the mark by punching the ball high and not all that far wide of Moeen Ali at point for four.
16th over: Australia 56-1 (Rogers 32, Smith 0)
Wood replaces Broad, and Cook survives two balls before running off to check on his own. Rogers remains undistracted, and hits a delicious cover drive for four off the penultimate delivery.
15th over: Australia 52-1 (Rogers 28, Smith 0)
The over ends with another edge, but this again doesn’t carry, and - worse - it bounces into Cook’s upper thigh area, and as Root laughs at him the England captain stays on the ground, in evident pain. Excellent over from Anderson, a wicket maiden.
Updated
WICKET! Warner c Cook b Anderson 17 (Australia 52-1)
Got ‘im! No problem with that edge carrying - it flew high to the right of Cook at first slip, and he threw himself across to take it!
Updated
14th over: Australia 52-0 (Rogers 28, Warner 17)
England’s openers have bowled reasonably well here - their length at least has been right, nice and full by and large - but Broad in particular has also sent down too many loose deliveries. There’s another one here, which Rogers flicks down the leg side for four.
13th over: Australia 47-0 (Rogers 24, Warner 17)
Ooof! Anderson bowls, Rogers edges, Root collects at third slip - but the ball bounced a yard in front of him, and the crowd’s cheers die in their throats. And then he boshes the last ball through midwicket for four.
12th over: Australia 43-0 (Rogers 20, Warner 17)
Just a single from Broad’s fifth over. Meanwhile, here’s that Warner lbw appeal in full:
Reviewing, David. http://t.co/38hkfy9Ljk #Ashes pic.twitter.com/vPAybdAFvs
— cricket.com.au (@CricketAus) July 9, 2015
11th over: Australia 42-0 (Rogers 19, Warner 17)
Ooof! Lovely delivery from Anderson, the ball starting straight and moving a smidge off the seam to beat the bat. The next ball brings the lbw appeal, and Warner celebrates his reprieve with another boundary through cover. And here’s some relatively unbiased lunchtime summarising from the Sky duo Ricky Ponting and Michael Atherton:
Not out!
The ball pitched waay outside leg. Waaay outside leg. A good three inches. Warner is reprieved!
REVIEW! Is Warner out lbw here?
England think so, the umpire thinks so, Warner hopes they’re all wrong.
Updated
10th over: Australia 37-0 (Rogers 18, Warner 13)
Two fours for Warner, the first driven past cover, the second past mid-off. “Speaking of ever-partisan commentary, did anyone else hear its inventor and patron saint G.Boycott crowing about Haddin’s drop on the TMS end of day wrap up yesterday?” wonders Eamonn Maloney. “Horribly undignified, even by his low standards.” Sadly I missed it.
The players are back out, and Stuart Broad has the ball in his hands. Let’s play (more) cricket!
I’m sure the Botham picture showed him driving a white Saab. Perhaps he had two. I should admit that I’ve nicked this picture from this site.
“I’m watching the live stream from Australia’s ever partisan Channel Nine on the internets,” writes Matt Jones. “At 5.1 overs they flashed up an old print ad featuring Ian Botham in a Saab. It was only up for a moment, and was really quite odd.” It made much more sense on Sky, when Botham was on hand to provide some anecdotes about rolling said car on some racing track somewhere and walking away unhurt.
A good session for England, even if England’s openers negotiated the last half-hour easily enough. Intriguingly poised, I think.
Updated
LUNCH
And that is officially lunchtime. Bon appetit!
9th over: Australia 26-0 (Rogers 15, Warner 5)
Another maiden, largely thanks to an excellent stop from Stokes at cover. “Simon Lewis’s rural / urban fringe myth, and WG Grace’s famous intransigence reminds me painfully of my own, unfortunately all too real, cricketing failings,” writes Ralph Hartley. “As a distinctly average, but strangely aesthetically pleasing (if I do say so myself) batsman, I was picked for my county side when I was 12. A few scratchy performances left my position in danger until all doubt was dispelled in my fourth game. I was clean bowled first ball of the match from a no ball. I wafted gracefully at the second ball only to nick it to the keeper, but in grim determination I didn’t walk, and the umpire gave me my second reprieve. Third ball it was all over, trapped LBW, and all I can say is that 12 year old opposition cricketers can be very cruel when your luck is down.”
8th over: Australia 26-0 (Rogers 15, Warner 5)
Mark Wood makes a little pre-lunch cameo, and it’s a maiden. His seven not out earlier means he has still not been dismissed for a single-figure score in his Test batting career, which even after only five innings isn’t bad for a No10. Three not-outs and two dismissals in the teens leave him with an average of 27.5. One more over in this session, and Moeen will bowl it.
Updated
7th over: Australia 26-0 (Rogers 15, Warner 5)
Moeen is getting a bit of a workout, as Rogers pushes to deep square leg and the England man, having run from long leg to his right to collect the ball a couple of delieveries earlier, and had that chase in the last over, runs round to his left to cut it off.
6th over: Australia 21-0 (Rogers 10, Warner 5)
Rogers pushes the ball past extra cover and runs three before Moeen and Stokes combine to return the ball. There endeth the meaningful action.
5th over: Australia 18-0 (Rogers 7, Warner 5)
Five overs into Australia’s innings, and Botham and Bumble on Sky are already sufficiently unenthused to launch into a lengthy diversion about fishing. This is not promising. “The tube strike and a distinct lack of Dunkirk spirit around here means I am the only person in the office today,” beams John Meredith. “Obviously the extra peace and quiet means I will be able to be super-productive rather than spending the day gawping at OBO and working through a huge pile of chocolate hob nobs.” I find you normally need to “work from home” in order to achieve such levels of “focus”.
4th over: Australia 16-0 (Rogers 7, Warner 3)
No appeals from Broad this time, just a four from Rogers, past backward point. “Anderson’s innings reminded me of the possibly urban myth of a village cricket match (if an urban myth about a village isn’t an oxy what’s-it?) where fast bowler delivers first ball to a new batsman who lunges forward and gets outside edge which is held by the keeper,” writes Simon Lewis. “Cue massive appeal ….. “Not out” says Mr Umpire. Second ball; batsman goes back, squares up covering all three stumps, misses the ball and is hit on the pads. Cue even louder appeal ….. Mr U just shakes his head. Third ball; batsman takes a mighty but mistimed heave (you might call it), misses again and middle stump cartwheels back. “I nearly had him that time” quips the bowler.”
Good yarn. Reminds me of that story about WG Grace, twice in one over given not out despite apparently very clear lbw claims by the bowler, Charles Kortwright. Next ball his wicket is demolished. “Not leaving us so soon, Doctor?” says Kortwright, as Grace reluctantly heads back to the pavilion. “There’s still one stump standing after all.”
Updated
3rd over: Australia 12-0 (Rogers 3, Warner 3)
Another leg bye, and a last-ball Rogers single to quare leg. “Re Alister Wedderburn’s point, I thought Brazil had already faced Germany in a test match last year,” recalls David Hopkins. “And how disappointed Germany must have been to be reduced to 7-1 after only an hour and a half.”
2nd over: Australia 10-0 (Rogers 2, Warner 3)
A full delivery bounces into Warner’s pad at ankle height, and Broad immediately celebrates. He’s distraught when he turns and sees the umpire shaking his head, and probably even more so when his captain shakes his as well. When it happens again a couple of balls later, with Rogers this time on strike, Cook sides with his bowler, but to no avail. “So, regarding this whole discussion about root being lucky or Australia being at a disadvantage because of it etc etc. I feel we’re missing the point that one moment does not a game make, nothing goes entirely your way during a matach and you have to be able to adapt and carry on,” writes Huw Swanborough. “Australia’s failing on day one wasn’t dropping root, it was the persistent lack of dealing with him after that had happened.” I think that’s a fair summary.
Updated
Not out!
He got a tiny, wicket-saving inside edge, and is not out.
REVIEW! Is Rogers out lbw here?
The on-field umpire doesn’t think so. Stuart Broad inevitably does. What’s the truth of it?
Updated
1st over: Australia 5-0 (Rogers 1, Warner 0)
In roars Anderson, and his first delivery clips Rogers’ pad and flies away for four leg byes. “It’s 8am in Rio de Janeiro,” writes Alister Wedderburn, “and because i) Brazil is not one of the world’s cricketing hotspots (though they might have a chance of beating Germany if they took it up, I guess) and ii) my internet access here is limited, I have just logged on to the OBO assuming that today was the first morning of play. I write to you in shame and penance; please grant me forgiveness, your hOBOliness.” Snarf!
Updated
Back come the players. History alert: Chris Rogers is on the verge of becoming the first man ever to score seven consecutive Test half-centuries (without ever going beyond 100).
“Given Haddin’s less than 100% performance in the field, he must be looking over his shoulder a bit nervously,” writes John Starbuck. “It’s probably his last series (certainly his last Ashes) but teams don’t usually change the keeper on performance during a series. What are the possible replacements like?” I think Peter Nevill, Haddin’s understudy on this tour, looks promising - he certainly has impressive batting stats in domestic cricket - but his international experience is nonexistent.
Innings break
England will undoubtedly be the happier team now, having dragged themselves from 43-3 to 430 all out, and gone at an average of 4.2 runs an over. Starc ends the innings with five wickets; Johnson, having bowled five deliveries more, ends it with none.
Updated
WICKET! Anderson b Starc 1 (England 430 all out)
There’s no need to review that one, Starc’s very next delivery taking out middle and leg stumps as Anderson takes a mighty but mistimed heave.
England all out for 430, five short of what they managed here in 2009 (when Australia replied with 674 for 7)
— Lawrence Booth (@the_topspin) July 9, 2015
Updated
Not out!
Nope.
Another review! Is Anderson out this time, then?
Brad Haddin thinks he might have stumped him here, but did his foot ever leave the ground?
101st over: England 429-9 (Wood 7, Anderson 0)
Excellent innings from Moeen, with some lovely shots, a few risks, and some appropriately brisk scoring. And it’s taken England to their highest total against Australia since Sydney in 2011, when they won by an innings. And the scoring doesn’t stop there: Wood gets the ball through the covers for four, and then a Starc bouncer clears batsmanand keeper and flies away for five wides. The over ends with a fine, full inswinger that Wood just about gets a bat to. “It was a few overs ago now, but Mitchell Johnson being applauded and cheered when he reached his century (0/100) was a lovely moment,” writes James Walsh. “He doffed his cap and kissed the badge in appreciation. Mitch is a brilliant bowler and will clearly tear through England at some point, and I think the crowd know that: the nuances of fear, mockery, and ironic celebration in that little exchange reminded me of why I love cricket so much.”
NOT OUT!
That’s a tough decision for Chris Gaffaney to make. The ball was certainly might close to those gloves, but there’s just nothing conclusive anywhere. He looks at everything available, several times, goes back again, has another look, and then sticks with the on-field decision.
REVIEW! Is Anderson out first ball here?
It’s a bit of a half-hearted appeal, and Erasmus isn’t won over, but the ball might just have flicked glove on its way through, so Australia review it.
WICKET! Moeen Ali c Watson b Starc 77 (England 419-9)
Moeen goes for another big hit, gets another big edge, and this time it flies straight to Watson at first slip, where his hands stop the ball hitting his face.
Updated
100th over: England 419-8 (Moeen 77, Wood 3)
Moeen continues his assault on Lyon, and tries to loft the ball over the long-off boundary. He doesn’t nail it, though, and Mitchell Johnson is not far from the rope ... but the ball clears the Australian, if not the rope, and goes for four. In doing so he breaks his bat, and drinks are taken mid-over while he waits for a replacement. “Dropped catches aren’t luck, any more than getting to feast on bad bowling is luck or getting out incompetent batsmen is luck,” writes Stephen Russell, of that Root let-off yesterday. “All these things are about the skills of cricket. England weren’t lucky Root was dropped: Australia weren’t good enough – across the whole team – to get him out until he had a century.” I refer you to Root’s own opinion:
99th over: England 411-8 (Moeen 70, Wood 2)
“A besuited fist-bump is seldom appropriate,” asserts Paul Griffin, as Moeen handsomely drives Starc through cover. “But when celebrating corporate success, e.g. completing a training module, securing a prompt courier, a chestbump (with salchow) is de rigeur. Colleagues who seem reticent to reciprocate are merely exposing their lack of team-player-ness, and need to be sent on a course.”
98th over: England 405-8 (Moeen 65, Wood 1)
Lyon launches into a loud solo appeal after his first ball at Wood hits him in the pad. Everyone else was right: the ball would have missed the stumps by a fair old margin. Moeen later attempts a couple of heaves through midwicket, nailing one for four, and not the other, which bounce twice on its way to mid-on. The over ends with Wood and Haddin both missing a ball, which trundles away for four byes.
WICKET! Broad c Haddin b Lyon 18 (England 395-8)
Lyon splits the partnership with his first delivery of the day! Broad goes for the drive and bottom-edges straight into Haddin’s gloves!
Updated
97th over: England 395-7 (Moeen 60, Broad 18)
Moeen, having started the last two overs with fours, gets this one under way with a three, though a Voges fumble on the boundary very nearly keeps his run going. Broad also gets three, for flicking the ball over the short cover fielders, before Moeen edges hard and high for four - that’s the 50 partnership! “I’m still shuddering after my boss tried to high five me yesterday,” recalls Dave Evans. “I had anticipated a handshake so kind of limply grabbed his forearm just as he retracted his raised palm and scratched his nose instead. Neither of us came out of it well.” That’ll learn him.
96th over: England 385-7 (Moeen 53, Broad 15)
Most handsome shot of the day so far by Moeen, who drives Starc’s first delivery between cover and point for four. And perhaps the ugliest, inside-edging just past his stumps, though it brings the same reward, and brings up his half-century! “Having been almost involuntarily fist bumped (I thought he was going to shake my hand) by a besuited individual, I can confirm the discomfort,” writes Joshua Collis. “This was further amplified when said individual ‘blew up’ the fist bump afterwards – whilst maintaining eye contact with me and seemingly imploring me to do the same. This happened when I lived in America. I moved back to Europe shortly afterwards.” There’s no excuse for an exploding fist-bump under any circumstances, though I suppose it’s the kind of thing that extreme inebriation can force on a man.
95th over: England 376-7 (Moeen 44, Broad 15)
Johnson’s first ball is played fine down the leg side by Moeen for four. Later, Broad hits one that just fails to carry to point, before the last ball, like the first, trundles to the rope, this one chipped past mid-off by Broad. “I have to take issue with Ant Pease (92nd over),” writes Alex Juras. “Speaking as a man who regularly plays table tennis in a suit (thanks to Westminster Council/the London 2012 legacy depositing a table right outside my office) I don’t see anything wrong with this sartorial/sporting crossover. However, I would add a cautionary note: there is simply no dignity in the sight of a man in a suit chasing a table tennis ball along Victoria Embankment.” Crikey. The mind boggles.
94th over: England 367-7 (Moeen 39, Broad 11)
Starc continues, and the ball hits the ground and flicks off the toe ofMoeen’s bat on its way through; the bowler makes a very half-hearted appeal, nobody else joins in, and that’s the end of it. Hotspot seems to prove there was an edge. The next ball is driven past mid-off for four.
93rd over: England 362-7 (Moeen 34, Broad 11)
A whole over of Johnson to Broad, which exposes the uneven bounce, with a couple of bumpers barely reaching waist height and then one roaring into the batsman at the top of his chest, and he uncomfortably fends it into the air. Voges steams in from short leg to take the ball when it lands pretty much on the batsman’s toes - he claims the catch, Erasmus raises his finger, but replays very conclusively show the ball touching the ground on its way into his hands. Another bouncer - no problem with the bounce this time - and a full delivery, edged low and well fielded at slip, follow to complete an eventful maiden.
Updated
92nd over: Enngland 362-7 (Moeen 34, Broad 11)
Starc bowls, ankle be damned, and completes the over without so much as a wince. Broad scores a single off the first, leaving Moeen to deal with the remainder of the over a little, not always comfortably - he plays at a wide delivery that’s swinging even wider, just missing it. He’d have felt a damn fool had he got out to that one. “Morning Simon, morning everybody,” writes Ant Pease. Hello! “Whilst it’s not entirely dignified, I’m pro-fistbump for people in suits, as its infinitely less inappropriate than the ultimate sartorial/congratulatory no-no; the besuited high five. Similarly, people wearing suits should never play table tennis, but thankfully this situation arises significantly less frequently.”
91st over: Enngland 361-7 (Moeen 34, Broad 10)
Moeen tries to get out of the way of Johnson’s bouncer, only for it not to bounce as much as he was expecting and hit the bottom of his bat. It lands safely. He then edges the ball along the ground through an empty gully for four, and plays at the last, a lovely delivery which swings just past the bat. “Slightly miffed by the idea that England have been lucky and all runs being scored now are a generous bonus from the over-generous Australians,” moans Nicholas Russell. “If we had dropped one of theirs who had then gone on to score a century, we would be saying that we ballsed up and you can never give an Aussie a second change. So, the way I see it is – it was a tough chance, Haddin blew it and Joe Root is too good to be given second chances.” It’s two sides of the same coin, though, isn’t it?
90th over: Enngland 357-7 (Moeen 30, Broad 10)
Hazelwood’s first two balls bring Moeen a two and a one, bringing Broad onto strike. And he immediately smacks a full, straight delivery down the ground for four. He decides the next ball will be a bouncer and duly ducks out of the way, only for it to arrive at him at waist height and hit him on his ducked-down bonce! Unperturbed, he pulls the last ball away for six, another lovely shot.
Stuart Broad off the mark with a glorious drive through mid-off, brings up England's 350. Next one crashes into helmet, Hazlewood the bowler
— Ali Martin (@Cricket_Ali) July 9, 2015
89th over: Enngland 344-7 (Moeen 27, Broad 0)
Mitchell Johnson’s first delivery bounces perhaps 10 inches off the ground, and gets nowhere near carrying through to the keeper. Moeen gets a single with a handsome drive that is fielded at extra cover, and Broad survives the one remaining delivery, which moves away from the bat to leave him squared-up and squirming.
And out come the batsmen, with Jerusalem being belted out by some big-lunged warbler. Mitchell Starc also comes out, despite his ankle issues. This is happening.
I’m not sure how I feel about people in suits attempting fist-bumps. On balance I think it probably needs to be deeply ironic, or not attempted at all. This looks to me like a sincere fist-bump.
In the last couple of years I played every Test like it was my last. I knew this might happen some day.
Ryan Harris is talking on Sky currently, and very well he’s coming across too. Clearly gutted at the timing of his retirement, and now working towards a career in coaching.
If your day could improve with the addition of a little statistical goodness, cast an eye over our summary of the last 38 Ashes years:
Some fluffy white clouds about, but nobody seems to be forecasting anything more threatening than occasionally overcast skies today. For now, the ground is bathed in morning sunshine.
Stunning morning in Cardiff! #Ashes pic.twitter.com/XUetC2AkbX
— England Cricket (@englandcricket) July 9, 2015
The only picture we’ve so far received from Cardiff this morning is this one:
Hello world!
And so, rather like poor Felix the therepeutic pig in this picture, England’s tail has been exposed. Thanks to Jos Buttler’s late and weak dismissal Stuart Broad is in, with only James Anderson and Mark Wood to come, and though Broad - a different Broad, to all intents and purposes - once scored 169 runs in a single Test innings and has three half-centuries against Australia on his credit sheet (and, without ever reaching 50, has scored 46 once and 47 twice in the last 13 months (as well as four single-figure scores and four no-figure-at-all scores), Anderson has an 81 to his name and Wood’s first-class best is 66, the English must start preparing for the moment, potentially quite soon, when they will no longer be batting.
They must be happy with their lot, with that second-ball dropping of Joe Root sparkling in their memory like a tinsel-shrouded gift beneath a Christmas tree. Had that ball stuck in Brad Haddin’s glove, they would surely not have woken this morning with a 400+ score still pouting at them flirtaciously from across the (breakfast) bar. Everything now achieved with the batis bonus. And besides, on what looks a pretty flat pitch and the possibility that they will come to recall with some jealousy Australia enjoying the best of the conditions yesterday morning, there is a lot of hard work to come.
Anyway, here’s a song about tails, from a band that appears to retain some credibility despite writing songs that contain lyrics such as these, which make them sound like some kind of farmyard Bay City Rollers:
If I had a tail, I’d own the night
If I had a tail, I’d swat the flies
Gitchy, gitchy, uh la la
Da doo ron ron
You won’t get far
