It’s the match Twitter’s been waiting for! Tensions between Malcolm Turnbull and Barnaby Joyce over the deputy prime minister’s affair with a staffer have finally exploded in a series of fiery press conferences … and the gloves came off.
Round one
Talking to the media on Thursday, the PM throws the first punch. He says his deputy’s “shocking error of judgment” has created a “world of woe” for the women in his life, then bans sexual relations between ministers and their staff.
“In 2018, it is not acceptable for a minister to have a sexual relationship with somebody who works for them,” he says. “It is a very bad workplace practice.”
And so #bonkban is born.
New signs already in place at Australian Parliament House: #bonkban pic.twitter.com/TsZxc99a1G
— Dansplain Ilić (@danilic) February 15, 2018
Our political discourse is a sheer vacuum of grandeur or dignity. I kind of love it. #BonkBan
— Benjamin Law 羅旭能 🌈 (@mrbenjaminlaw) February 15, 2018
And so with the bonking ban, begins SEXIT. #auspol
— Sally Sara (@sallyjsara) February 15, 2018
Round two
The party leaders square up again on Friday. Speaking to the media in Hobart, Turnbull denies urging Joyce to resign, but reiterates his call for him to “consider his circumstances”.
“He has to form his view on his circumstances; he has a lot to reflect on given what has happened, and I say, again, he has made some big errors of judgment.”
Well then. I never thought we'd see another open war after the Rudd-Gillard-Rudd years. Extraordinary.
— Sabra Lane (@SabraLane) February 16, 2018
exclusive vision of the Liberals and Nationals squaring off right now: pic.twitter.com/QsRHW499jn
— Josh Butler (@JoshButler) February 16, 2018
Just gonna leave this here #auspol pic.twitter.com/2cs9AlmbIA
— Shorten_Suite 👊 (@Shorten_Suite) February 16, 2018
Round three
Despite Turnbull’s jabs, his defiant deputy has no intention of throwing in the towel. Appearing before reporters in Canberra minutes later, he takes aim at the PM’s character assessment of him before labelling the comments “inept and “unnecessary”.
“All that is going to do is basically once more pull the scab off for everybody to have a look at,” he says.
“In regards to the National party, there is nothing we dislike more than implied intervention into the party processes of the National party. We are our own independent political unit. We make our own decisions.”
His blows are a little crude but they are landing.
THAT press conference in just two letters: F. U. #auspol #auspolbarnaby
— Katherine Feeney (@katherinefeeney) February 16, 2018
I hope Turnbull and Joyce settle this issue the only way men can, by cage fighting in their underpants.
— borto (@bortofdarkness) February 16, 2018
ICYMI, here's a brief recap of Barnaby Joyce's news conference: #auspolbarnaby pic.twitter.com/ol1au9QIAI
— Colin Baldwin (@Col_Baldwin) February 16, 2018
Round four
Turnbull pops up in Tasmania again – in Launceston this time – to fend off Joyce’s right hook.
“I’ve seen Barnaby’s press conference and, look, I understand it is a very stressful time,” he says. “Expressing views of disapproval or criticism of Barnaby’s own conduct is not criticism of the National party.”
The biff is starting to lack bite. It seems neither contender has the legs to last a 12-round fight.
A rather underwhelming ending then.
How quickly relationships change. Only 2 months ago they were madly in love. #auspolbarnaby pic.twitter.com/cpBgoJOl4i
— Costin Heaps 🌈 (@DianneCostin) February 16, 2018
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