The higher you climb, the harder you fall.
It's a perfect proverb to explain the patriarchy: a system designed to benefit men but one that simultaneously backfires on itself.
We're told International Men's Day (IMD) is a response to alarming suicide statistics that disproportionately affect men. According to the Samaritans, males aged 45-49 continue to have the highest suicide rate (23.8 per 100,000).
These numbers are often attributed to the idea that men are unable to "open up", that we're "afraid to talk" or address our feelings.
We hear this rhetoric about how men are expected to be strong, both physically and mentally, and not show any signs of weakness.
And for many, that shoe fits snuggly. But the elephant in the room that no one is willing to acknowledge is the culprit behind this is societal expectation.
Who is pressuring men to stay silent when they're suffering? Who is shaming emotional intelligence and authentic expression?
Men. That's who.
As a male who has always rejected the cultural expectation of masculinity- growing up gay with silver hair in the North - I have only ever experienced prejudice and oppression from fellow men.
Women have never villainised my femininity, women have never called me out for showing emotion or dressing differently. I have never felt intimidated walking into a room of women, or felt threatened by their very existence.
Perhaps it's because women can empathise with having their femininity laughed at - having their hobbies mocked and their appearance scrutinised - maybe it's because they don't want men to perform their masculinity.
But unfortunately, the majority of IMD followers only want a day for themselves to snub women.
In 2013, there were about 25,000 tweets about IMD - around two-fifths of which occurred on International Women's Day (IWD), as men punched walls and screeched at their mums: "It's not fair . How come women get a day and we don't?"
Beside its inherent rivalry of IWD - celebrating men is not going to help the suicide epidemic. We need to stop using harrowing figures as a smokescreen to compete against women over who is worse off.
What we need is accountability, to put our hands up and admit that we're the root of the issue we're complaining about.
So if you want to celebrate IMD - go ahead. But if you ever mock the way that feminine gay guy walks, or sneer at women for simply existing, then know that you are the problem.
