An average day for me begins at 3am. I’m definitely not a morning person, but I have a job to do. I am currently working for a large supermarket chain. I arrive at work for 5am. I pick people’s online shopping, stock shelves and interact with the public, from a safe distance, of course. People ask about stock levels and if the restrictions are really necessary and, of course, the answers are yes, the limits are required, and no, there isn’t more stock “in the back”. I finish at 9am, go home, sleep off the sore feet and tired eyes, and then wake in the afternoon to do it all again for my next split shift.
Strangely, what would be considered as a job at the bottom of society is currently one of the most valued. It’s a job that I mainly picked up to earn some money before starting my degree in September, but now it grants me hero-worship from strangers. A round of applause in the doorway. A level of respect that someone like me could never hope to have outside of an international pandemic.
I’m a leftwing immigrant who’s part of the LGBT community, so I’m the exact kind of person who gets called a snowflake on Twitter. Yes, I am more than my identity, but these labels are how people see me, how I am perceived. I’m visibly LGBT and I speak out about my opinions too much to not get noticed. But now, if we add my label as a “key worker” to the mix, I’m suddenly untouchable.
Wearing my uniform and name badge, I’ve earned respect. I’m definitely more than my job: I’m a musician, a writer, a movie buff, a theatre fan and so much more. I attend shows regularly, when we’re not in a global pandemic, and have even played a few in my home town. When I’m on stage, I feel valued, just like I do at work. I feel like I’m helping people, and yet, only one of these things is respected.
When I write, I feel good about the story I’m telling, and when I’m at work, I feel like I’m part of the story, and again, only one of these things is perceived as valuable. I don’t hate my job; I don’t hate the fact that my job is necessary right now. I just don’t believe that it’s even one of the top 10 most defining things about me, and yet right now, when I meet people, it’s No 1.
When lockdown ends, this will melt away and I’ll go back to being a quintessential 21st-century snowflake. I’ll be expected to be OK with this. But why should I be? I shouldn’t have to earn my place in society based on what’s going on around me. Respect is essential for everyone – not just when it’s a life or death situation. It makes things fair.
More than 50 years ago at the Stonewall Inn, people like me had to riot to earn respect, and we’re still fighting for many of the same rights we should’ve been granted years ago.
It comes down to a lack of respect, to think that people are lesser because of how they identify their gender or who they love. It comes down to cisgender heterosexuals having complete freedom when gay couples can only get married in 28 countries. At work, yes, I get respect, but everywhere else, I’m still fighting to earn it.
Outside opinions can ruin someone’s self-image. They can destroy any hope of self-respect because when no one else cares about your rights, it becomes hard to care about them yourself.
In the future, I hope things improve. I hope I eventually get to see a society where everyone is respected, where everyone feels their place in society is a constant right, not just a right when people feel like it matters enough to their community. I hope that people look past things like my job and actually learn to respect me for the person I am and what I believe in. However, this won’t happen unless we’re all kinder to each other. If you’re in a position where you can do so, call out homophobia, call out transphobia.
People won’t change unless they’re held accountable for their actions. Respect will still be something to earn and not something automatic. I deserve a seat at the table, whether we’re in a crisis or not, and I will be fighting to keep it.
If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this article, Sam recommends you visit: Stonewall; Mermaids; Switchboard; and Glaad
