It’s been hyped as the next Harry Potter and does contain a character who looks the spit of Rubeus Hagrid. But this Disney fantasy adventure is devoid of any real magic and mangles almost everything that was wonderful about Eoin Colfer’s books.
In the books (most of the first one, anyway), Artemis is amoral and hostile towards a secret society of fairies. In the film, 12-year-old Artemis (Ferdia Shaw) is good to the bone. In fact, you’ll feel like laughing when he describes himself as a “criminal mastermind”. Worse, although he captures a fairy and shouts at her, all too soon he and Holly Short (Lara McDonnell; perky) are gazing at each other with mutual respect.
Whatever happened to complex character arcs? And intricate world building? Director Kenneth Branagh, rushing to get Artemis and the fairies on the same side, has created a hero who’s neither fresh nor foul.
Anyway, Artemis and Holly team up to find a wondrous and dangerous object that a baddie wants to possess. The baddie is called Opal (picture a kid in a hoodie, shining a torch in their own face). The adult actors try, and mostly fail, to give the proceedings a bit of oompf.
Josh Gad (as the aforementioned Hagrid-impersonator) is the best of the bunch. Colin Farrell is simply anodyne as Artemis’s dashing dad, while poor Judi Dench looks uncomfortable as Root, the terse commander of the fairies.
When confronted by a devious subordinate, Root uses the fairy equivalent of the f-word (“Get that four-leaf clover away from me!”) Those embarrassed by such attempts at wit, not to mention Dench’s wayward Irish accent, are advised to focus on Root’s green leather coat. The coat’s cool. I want one!
Though the CGI effects are plentiful and often pulchritudinous, the numerous references to time are awkward. A “time freeze” device that encloses Artemis’s mansion in an iridescent bubble is meant to give the fairies breathing space while they attempt to rescue Holly. “The time freeze is collapsing!” yells a centaur with a nice hair-do (the hair and make-up team are excellent). Note to parents: time stands still throughout this movie, but not in a good way.
Disney+
