Full time: Arsenal 2-0 West Brom
An easy win for Arsenal, who played some lovely football throughout the match and move up to third place. Alexis Sanchez scored both goals, the first with help from referee Jon Moss, and those who turned up will be glad they did. Thanks for your company; goodnight.
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90 min “When Walcott looked in the folder,” begins Ian Copestake, “did he say ‘Is that what I think it is?’”
Ah, that’s racist.
88 min Giroud’s shot from close range hits the face of Foster, who knew the cube root of bugger all about it, and rebounds away from goal.
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89 min “With all the magnificent cultural icons that have passed this year,” begins Chris Gardiner, “soon all that will be left to fill the cultural void will be Ant n Dec and Stephen Mullhern. That’ll mean PJ & Duncan topping the charts and Mulhern wanting to be known as ¥. We must act now people.”
You’re right, we must. I’ll put the steaks on.
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86 min Campbell almost scores straight away, driving a cross shot just wide. This game is over, as it has been for about an hour.
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85 min Walcott and Joel Campbell replaces Alexis Sanchez, who was outstanding, and Mesut Ozil, who was very good.
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84 min Steve Bould is showing Theo Walcott the contents of a folder, and you know what that means. Yacob wallops a 30-yarder well wide.
83 min “If only we lived in the late 15th century,” says Ian Copestake, “when ‘obsequious’ was not deprecatory and Arsenal narrowly missed out on fourth.”
82 min Iwobi, who is going be a star and maybe a super one, is replaced by Coquelin.
80 min “I’ve worked out how we’re going to concede these two goals,” says John Cox. “After his two saves from Berahino, Gomes conceded two penalties last night. Berahino’s going to score two penalties for West Brom in this last ten minutes, isn’t he?”
John, I don’t know how to ask this, but are you sure you locked the back door when you went out this morning?
79 min Iwobi’s decision-making is generally superb for a teenager, but he picked the wrong option then after an excellent run into the box. He should have played a reverse pass to Ozil but ran into trouble.
77 min “With all this Prince sadness about, let’s not forget that it’s Arsenal’s most famous fan’s 90th birthday today,” says Justin Kavanagh. “No doubt she’s having it recorded for later, when she can put her feet up on an obliging corgi with a nice cold beer. Strange to think that the Queen has outlived Prince though.”
76 min Nothing is happening.
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74 min “This is the most contrived thing I’ve ever thought of, yet it amused me,” says Hubert O’Hearn. “I hope Jon Moss referees an Everton match where a hard foul in the box does not result in a penalty. That way you could write ‘a writhing Stones gathers no Moss.’ Right. Back to listening to obscure Prince tracks.”
73 min Cech comes for a corner like a wino chasing a balloon, gets nowhere near it and the unsighted Rondon, stretching at the far post, can’t turn it into the empty net from a few yards.
72 min “I think the last person who wants his side to be awarded a penalty is Berahino,” says Ian Copestake. “Referee Moss would probably then make him retake it.”
‘Referee Moss.’ You’re so obsequious.
71 min Sanchez dummies Iwobi’s pass, allowing it run through to Ramsey, who slips and screws a cross-shot over the bar.
68 min Foster makes a fine save from Ozil after Sanchez managed to find space in a phonebox. Seconds later, Ozil’s close-range shot is vitally blocked by Olsson. He was played through superbly by Iwobi. Arsenal have played some gorgeous football tonight.
64 min West Brom’s final substitution: Craig Gardner replaces McClean.
63 min “Charles Antaki (half time) can speak for himself,” says John Cox (no relation). “For this Arsenal fan, all those two goals have done is make me reflect how much more painful it’s going to be when we inevitably find a way to concede twice than it would have been if we’d only conceded once.”
If you don’t win this game, I’ll present Blue Peter in my underpants.
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62 min Another penalty appeal for Arsenal. Won’t somebody think of Jon Moss! It was a beautiful move: Ozil’s crisp square pass from the left, Giroud’s dummy and Elneny’s surge into the box before falling over. I think there was a foul but possibly just outside the box.
59 min Arsenal appeal for a penalty when Iwobi goes down in the box. I thought it was a foul by Dawson but Jon Moss disagreed. Replays aren’t conclusive either way, but you can understand if Jon Moss never gave another penalty in his life.
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58 min BREAKING NEWS: THEO IS WARMING UP.
56 min “Enough with the Ramsey shite, it’s not funny to any involved,” says Tom Cullinan. “Ridiculous.”
Cheers Tom, good lad.
55 min West Brom have been much better going forward since half-time. Two terrific passes from Fletcher and Dawson release Sessegnon on the right of the box, and Ramsey gets back to make an excellent and important challenge.
51 min Dawson’s deep cross from the right is met with a spectacular 15 yard header on the run by McClean. Cech saves comfortably but it was a good effort.
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50 min Berahino is tripped by Koscielny, giving West Brom a free-kick on the right. Sessegnon’s cross is cleared by Giroud. Not sure why I bothered with this entry to be fair.
49 min West Brom are leading 5-0 on corners. Their fifth is punched clear by Cech.
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48 min Giroud forces Foster into a plunging save with a crisp shot on the turn from the left of the box.
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47 min “Please when you refer to Mike Dean in the future,” says Ian Copestake, “could you give his full title of ‘Mike Dean, Wirral.’ Thanks, luv.”
46 min West Brom begin the second half, having made two substitutions: Rondon and Olsson on, Chester and Sandro off. So it is, paradoxically, an attacking switch from 4-3-3 to 4-4-2.
“Has there been any medical research into the healing properties of goals?” says Charles Antaki. “These two have acted like best-quality balm on the sore wounds of the Arsenal faithful. A few more and we enter into the world of narcotic oblivion, where even the rancour and abuse will be left behind. But Wenger will have to take off Giroud first.” What if he replaces him with Walcott?
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Half time: Arsenal 2-0 West Brom
A comfortable half for Arsenal, with Alexis Sanchez scoring both goals, the first a beauty. See you in 10 minutes for the second half.
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43 min After a lovely build-up, Ozil so nearly finds Monreal in the box with a lovely curling pass from deep. Arsenal are enjoying themselves.
42 min Jon Moss books McAuley for this or that, I’m not sure which.
41 min “Accent on the second E: ven-GAIR-a,” says Allan Castle. I’m confused.
40 min That was clever from Giroud, though not as good as this.
GOAL! Arsenal 2-0 West Brom (Sanchez 38)
Sanchez scores his second! Giroud stood in the wall, then moved the top half of his body to the side to create space for Sanchez to whip the ball through the gap and into the net with Foster unsighted.
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37 min After a fine run, Ramsey is fouled in the D. From which...
35 min Ramsey tries to score a goal and kill a celebrity at the same time, launching into a spectacular overhead kick that connects only with the body of James McClean.
34 min “It has come to the point that the mere sight of Walcott warming up makes my blood boil,” says Allan Castle. “His career arc feels like a metaphor for the great promise and underwhelming delivery of the later Wengera. By the way that’s my own copyrighted portmanteau.” So how do you pronounce it?
33 min Ozil’s weak long-ranged shot is Taibid between his own legs by Foster, but luckily for him Dawson was behind him to clear it off the line.
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31 min Bellerin roams infield, plays a one-two with Giroud and splatters a drive high over the bar from 20 yards.
30 min Talking of referees playing good advantages, thanks to my colleague Jim Powell for this delightful video celebrating the excellence of Mike Dean.
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29 min McAuley hits the bar! It was a carefully steered header across goal from McClean’s right-wing corner, and Petr Cech was nowhere near it.
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26 min West Brom’s best attack. Sessegnon dupes Monreal and cuts it back to Fletcher, whose first-time shot is deflected behind for a corner. That leads to a second corner, from which Sanchez miscontrols the ball into his own arm. West Brom wanted a penalty but it was completely accidental.
25 min Bellerin, the only Arsenal player in the PFA Team of the Year, plays a one-two with Sanchez, whose contribution is a gorgeous disguise cushioned backheel volley with pike. Bellerin runs to the edge of the area into before hitting a rising drive off target at the near post.
23 min “Also,” says Phil West, “when Prince was writing ‘Sexy M.F.’, how did he know about Mathieu Flamini?”
20 min West Brom, 1-0 down, are being booed for timewasting. They haven’t really threatened going forward, but as Palace showed on Sunday, the trick with Arsenal is to stick in the game. If it’s 1-0 after 70 minutes, the crowd will get fidgety.
19 min “Pint on me,” says my colleague Dan Lucas, “ if you stick a reference to Darlin Nikki Bendtner in.”
But he plays for Vfl Wolfsburg, Dan?
17 min There’s a break in play because Giroud is having trouble with his contact lenses. At least he’s not a goalkeeper: poor Jim Leighton lost one of his during that decisive World Cup qualifier between Wales and Scotland in 1985.
15 min “With Prince’s truly unfortunate passing today,” says Robert McDonald, “does that mean we are in a strange temporal paradox in which Aaron Ramsey will have scored to retroactively have contributed to Prince’s death?”
I wondered about this. The esteemed Dr Emmett Brown reckons a Ramsey goal could disrupt the space/time continuum and destroy the entire universe.
13 min That goal has relaxed Arsenal, who are playing some excellent stuff now. Sanchez, in particular, is literally oozing menace.
12 min “Evening Rob,” says Simon McMahon. “I was never cool enough to be into Prince properly. But I can use Wikipedia. So, with Arsenal ‘still waiting’ for the league title, Wenger’s ‘strange relationship’ with the fans continues. Is it time for him to ‘gett off’? Nothing if not predictable, that’s me.”
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10 min “Arsenal fans staying away from a match that could see their team move up to third place in the table?” says Peter Oh, and you know where this is going. “It’s a Sign ‘O’ the Times.”
9 min Ozil almost makes it two but his close-range shot, from Monreal’s cut back, is blocked crucially by McAuley.
8 min Niall Quinn on Sky points out that the entirely incompetent, useless Jon Moss played an excellent advantage in the build-up to the goal, when Sandro fouled Sanchez as he was being turned. Moss, alas, did not copy Mike Reed at Anfield in 2000 by celebrating when his advantage led to a goal.
GOAL! Arsenal 1-0 West Brom (Sanchez 6)
A brilliant goal from Alexis Sanchez gives Arsenal the lead. He received a pass 30 yards out with his back to goal, sensed Sandro approaching and turned him superbly before drilling a firm, precise shot into the bottom corner from outside the area.
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5 min Nothing much happening on the field. There’s a slightly eerie feel to the match.
4 min “I can’t believe this game is going ahead,” says Ian Copestake. “Talk about insensitive.” In fairness, loads of Arsenal fans have stayed away to pay tribute.
3 min “Can’t you get one of the tech folk to make all the text on tonight’s MBM purple?” says Chris Bond. “In fact, get them to do the whole website while you’re at it.”
2 min There are loads of empty seats at the Emirates, although apparently there’s a problem with the Piccadilly Line. We’ve become a nation of entitled brats, haven’t we.
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1 min Peep peep! Jon Moss - yep, him - blows his whistle, and Arsenal kick off from left to right.
“Sometimes it snows in April, Rob,” says Matt Dony. “I know the MBM is a place of almost endless mirth (and sarcasm and pretension), but I am genuinely very sad at the new of Prince’s death. I’m not sure I’d be able to push myself to enjoy an Arsenal loss, even. Sigh.”
Anyone out there? You’re all listening to Prince songs aren’t you?
Team news
Arsenal (4-2-3-1) Cech; Bellerin, Mertesacker, Koscielny, Monreal; Ramsey, Elneny; Sanchez, Ozil, Iwobi; Giroud.
Substitutes: Ospina, Chambers, Gabriel, Coquelin, Campbell, Walcott, Welbeck.
West Brom (4-3-3) Foster; Dawson, McAuley, Evans, Chester; Sandro, Fletcher, Yacob; Sessegnon, Berahino, McClean.
Substitutes: Myhill, Olsson, Gardner, Anichebe, McManaman, Rondon, Leko.
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Preamble Hello. At some point in the nearish future, Arsenal fans will look back with fondness on the admirable stability they had in the second half of Arsene Wenger’s time at the club. They have been third or fourth every season since 2005. The problem is that they are currently looking back with fondness to the astonishing success of Wenger’s first nine years at the club. If they hadn’t seen such riches, they could live with being comfortably wealthy.
The abuse (not to be confused with criticism) of Wenger is completely out of order, but this is the modern way. It seemed this would be the season when Arsenal left their safe place – and they still might, but only by dropping out of the top four for the first time under Wenger rather than by breaking into the top two. It would be pretty cruel if that happened on the eve of Wenger’s 20th anniversary, but sport has always shown a fascinating lack of sentiment and respect.
Arsenal can go third with a win tonight. But they have some tricky games left – Sunderland away, Norwich at home, Manchester City away , Aston Villa at home – and don’t have much margin for error. West Brom have plenty: they have nothing to play for, a reflection of the enduring excellence of Tony Pulis. He isn’t just a specialist in avoiding relegation; he’s a specialist in avoiding relegation battles.
Kick off is at 7.45pm.
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Rob will be here shortly. Whilst you wait, have a read of David Hytner’s take on Arsenal’s current slump:
Arsène Wenger had had enough. The Arsenal manager, as usual, had wanted to look ahead to the next game – in this case, West Bromwich Albion’s visit to the Emirates Stadium on Thursday night – yet the issue at hand was the continuing autopsy into his club’s Premier League season, with all the gory and familiar trimmings.
“I would like to remind you that if we win against West Brom, we are third in the league and, if you look at the history of the club, over 140 years, and the consistency of the club, you will see that it’s not a shame,” Wenger said. “Even if we are not happy with it.”
It has long been the title or bust for Wenger to vindicate the second half of his near 20-year tenure in north London but this season the feeling has been more acute, owing to the travails of Chelsea, the Manchester clubs and Liverpool. What has most surely made things even more frustrating for the Arsenal fanbase is Tottenham Hotspur, and how they have purred through the gears, and the contenders, to launch a compelling assault on the big prize.
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