That’s it from me. Thanks for your company, goodnight!
In other news...
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Full time: Arsenal 4-0 Newcastle
Peep peep! That was an excellent second-half performance from Arsenal, whose increased intensity and quality was too much for Newcastle. Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang opened the scoring with a quite superb header in the 54th minute, and the match was all but over when Pepe made it 2-0 three minutes later. The scoreline was given a slightly flattering sheen by late goals from Mesut Ozil and a delighted Alexandre Lacazette.
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90+5 min That goal meant so much to Lacazette, who celebrated like it was his first. He actually screwed the shot onto his standing foot, from where it ricocheted into the top corner, not that he’ll care.
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GOAL! Arsenal 4-0 Newcastle (Lacazette 90+5)
It’s four! Lacazette gets his first goal in 10 games, miskicking Pepe’s pass into the top corner, and the Arsenal players cavort by the corner flag.
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90+2 min This win moves Arsenal up to tenth - but they are only six points behind Spurs in fifth. It’s not beyond the realms, is it.
90+1 min Six minutes of added time. Ozil leaves to a very warm ovation and an embrace from Mikel Arteta. Joe Willock replaces him.
GOAL! Arsenal 3-0 Newcastle (Ozil 90)
Mesut Ozil seals a comfortable win for Arsenal, cushioning a close-range volley through Dubravka from a speculative cross by Lacazette. It was a goalkeeping error.
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86 min Ritchie’s outswinging corner is headed back towards goal by Lascelles and claimed by Leno. Arsenal break through Saka, whose stirring run ends with low cross that is just too far in front of Lacazette.
85 min Alexandre Lacazette replaces the full debutant Eddie Nketiah, who gets a warm round of applause from the home fans. He worked very hard - if anything he was overeager at times - and hit the bar early in the second half.
84 min Arsenal’s next game is away to Olympiacos in the Europa League on Thursday. They then play Everton at home a week today. Newcastle’s next match is away to Crystal Palace on Saturday.
83 min Ciaran Clark is unable to continue. Fabian Schar replaces him.
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82 min Lucas Torreira comes on for Arsenal in place of Dani Ceballos, who had a decent game on his return to the side.
80 min Saka overruns the ball and ploughs through Clark, with both players ending up in a heap on the edge of the area. Saka is booked.
79 min Saint-Maximin is only 22. If his decision making improves, and there’s no reason why it shouldn’t, he will become a brilliant player.
76 min “Lacazette wouldn’t be human,” says Charles Antaki, “if he wasn’t thinking of Nketiah he Hasn’t Done Enough.”
There’s a Smiths lyric in that.
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75 min: Saint-Maximin hits the post! That was a brilliant effort from Newcastle’s most dangerous player. He picked up a loose ball 30 yards from goal, beat Bellerin with strength and Mustafi with skill before curling a lovely shot that flashed past the diving Leno and smacked off the far post.
74 min Newcastle make a double change, with Matt Ritchie and Isaac Hayden replacing Valentino Lazaro and Federico Fernandez.
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72 min There’s a break in play while Xhaka receives treatment. He injured himself while blocking a long-range shot from Sean Longstaff.
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70 min Two-nil is a dangerous lead, according to the never-ending book of football cliches, but Arsenal look very comfortable right now.
67 min Aubameyang’s teasing chipped cross, intended for Nketiah, bounces off the top of the crossbar and behind for a goalkick.
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65 min “I prefer to say such things after the two goals - how can Arteta play Nketiah, a not even really promising striker, push Auba wide and leave Martinelli on the bench?” sniffs Hurley. As for Ceballos... One final groan - Saka, who is a wonderfully promising player, does all the work for the goal, and Pepe runs off to pose for the cameras. You remember the United and Arsenal players from 98/99, right?!”
63 min: Clark misses a terrific chance! After a long spell of Newcastle possession, Saint-Maximin ran at Bellerin and found Clark eight yards from goal. He took a touch and scuffed a shot that hit David Luiz and deflected just wide of the far post. I don’t think the original shot was going in anyway.
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60 min Arsenal were abysmal for much of the first half. Since half-time, and I suspect an appreciable brollocking from Mikel Arteta, they have been electric.
59 min Another good chance for Arsenal. Pepe is fouled on the edge of the area but the ball runs through to Nketiah, with Lee Mason playing a good advantage. Nketiah declines the opportunitiy of a first-time shot, for reasons that aren’t entirely clear, and is dispossessed.
The goal was made beautifully by the young left-back Saka. He nutmegged Lazaro on the left wing, moved into the area and crossed low towards Mustafi and Pepe, who were both in space near the penalty spot. Pepe got there first to slide a first-time shot past Dubravka.
GOAL! Arsenal 2-0 Newcastle (Pepe 57)
Two in three minutes!
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Arsenal have been excellent since half-time and now they lead. Ozil and Ceballos worked the ball across the field to Pepe on the right. He came back inside and lofted a high, hanging cross to the far post, where Aubameyang got between two defenders and planted a superb header across Dubravka. There was no pace at all on the cross, so he had to concentrate on both power and placement. He managed both with aplomb.
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GOAL! Arsenal 1-0 Newcastle (Aubameyang 54)
It’s been coming.
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50 min: Nketiah hits the bar! That’s the closest either side has come to taking the lead. Ozil played a nice reverse pass to Pepe, who teased Clark and cut the ball back sharply to the edge of the six-yard box. Nketiah had to stretch slightly away from goal, however, which is why he belted his volley off the top of the crossbar rather than into the net.
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50 min It’s been a decent start to the second half from Arsenal, with Newcastle pinned back in their own half.
47 min Ceballos clips a nice pass over the top for Aubameyang, who hooks the bouncing ball wide of the far post. It was a half chance at best.
47 min “Mark Lawrenson said that Almiron ‘looks like a player’,” says Ian Copestake, “but I do think he looks more like Dr Seuss’s Cat in a Hat.”
46 min Peep peep! Newcastle begin the second half.
Half-time reading
Half time: Arsenal 0-0 Newcastle
Peep peep! Newcastle will be the happier team at half-time. They dominated the first half an hour and, though Arsenal improved after an abysmal start, most of Martin Dubravka’s work was straightforward. See you in 10 minutes for the second half.
45 min One added minute.
43 min Saint-Maximin reminds Arsenal of his threat with a scintillating 50-yard run down the left. Eventually he beats Bellerin and slides the ball right across the six-yard area. He should have gone for goal as he had nobody in support.
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41 min Pepe’s free-kick is tipped over acrobatically by Dubravka - an eyecatching but relatively straightforward. The corner brings a chance for Mustafi, whose shot is headed off the line by Joelinton.
41 min “Arsenal started the 2007-08 season with three DMs - Diarra, Flamini and Gilberto - and they were all gone within 18 months,” says Norrie Hernon. “We haven’t replaced them, or been the same since. 2008 was the last anywhere near complete Arsenal side.”
Yes, I’d agree with that (though for a month or so in the spring of 2010 I thought you were going to win the league). It’s just that I suspect many people think Arsenal never recovered from selling Vieira and then Henry, and forget how good that 2007-08 team was before the Birmingham match derailed them.
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40 min Aubameyang’s deflected long-range shot just clears the crossbar. Arsenal have been so much better in the last 10 minutes.
37 min Ozil plays a good pass to Nketiah, whose snapshot from 16 yards is a bit too close to Dubravka. It was a confident effort, though.
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35 min This is a better spell for Arsenal, who have started to pass the ball to each other with something resembling regularity.
34 min Pepe’s inswinging cross is headed away from goal by Nketiah, who mistimed his jump 12 yards from goal. It was a difficult chance anyway.
32 min Ozil waves an insouciant pass with the outside of the foot to find Aubameyang on the left. He moves infield, shifts the ball away from Fernandez and hits a fairly tame low shot that is comfortably saved by Dubravka at the near post.
30 min Saint-Maximin does really well to release the overlapping Rose, whose cutback towards Joelinton is cleared by David Luiz. Saint-Maximin is a serious talent.
29 min An excellent inswinging corner from Pepe skims the head of Mustafi at the near post and hits David Luiz on the edge of the six-yard box. He would have needed supernatural reactions to do anything with that.
28 min Here’s Ian Copestake. “I pray the VAR gods will be kind to you today, my son, and not see you headbutting the confessional.”
I’m zen. VAR anger is so 2019.
25 min Almiron goes on a dangerous run from the halfway line to the edge of the Arsenal area. He looks round, realises he has no company except five Arsenal players, and dives. No foul.
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25 min Arsenal have been absolutely swearword slangword.
24 min Another good break from Newcastle. The impressive Saint-Maximin finds the overlapping Bentaleb, whose low cross is too close to Leno.
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22 min “God, this is depressing,” says Norrie Hernon. “When you say ‘Arsenal haven’t got going at all’, do you mean a) this game b) this season c) since 2008 or d) existentially?”
2008, you say. Interesting. Very ... interesting.
21 min An imaginative effort from Saka, curled towards the far top corner from the edge of the area, drifts a few yards wide.
20 min Sean Longstaff belts the free-kick miles over the bar.
19 min The lively Saint-Maximin is fouled 30 yards from goal by Ceballos. Newcastle have been much the better team in the first 20 minutes.
18 min Lazaro has been extremely impressive on his full debut.
15 min Saint-Maximin beats Ceballos with ease on the left of the area and cuts the ball back for Joelinton, who shoots just wide at the near post. The ball was slightly behind him, otherwise I think he’d have scored.
14 min Leno makes a good save. Newcastle tried the old Beckham/Scholes corner, with Lazaro driving it to the edge of the D for Longstaff to volley. He didn’t get hold of it but it took a big deflection, forcing Leno to scramble across his line and push it behind for a corner.
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12 min Arsenal haven’t got going at all.
9 min It’s been a bright start from Newcastle, with Lazaro looking lively at right wing-back. Xhaka is booked for pulling him back off the ball.
6 min Saint-Maximin is fouled just outside the area by Xhaka. The referee waves play on.
5 min A good break from Newcastle. Joelinton runs at Mustafi down the left and hammers a cross that is controlled by Lazaro beyond the far post. He dances between two defenders and is about to shoot when Aubameyang stabs the ball behind for a corner.
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3 min Bellerin wins an early corner for Arsenal. It’s curled in by Pepe and volleyed clear at the near post.
1 min Peep peep! Arsenal kick off from right to left.
The players emerge from the tunnel. It’s a beautiful afternoon in north London. Little brisk.
“Bellerin has been looking more than a bit tentative since coming back - I blame the haircut,” says Charles Antaki. “Is it time, Rob, for a Joy of Six on footballers who have lost potency along with long locks? Bellerin, Fellaini, er, Gullit .. Samson …. I’m sure you can think of the remainder.”
KENNY SAMSON ROFL?!?!?!?!?!?!
“Well,” says Patrick van IJzendoorn, “at least Portadown managed to score.”
My favourite part of this clubt is the windmill celebration. Yep, you the man.
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“All to play for,” says Bill Hargreaves. “Love the match programme cover with a vintage photo of Lee Dixon and Paul Gascoigne, back in the days when you didn’t want too much starch in your shorts, or hair. Play up, play up!”
Pre-match entertainment
Pre-match reading
Team news
Eddie Nketiah makes his full Premier League debut for Arsenal, while Dani Ceballos plays in the league for the first time since the start of November. The wing-backs Danny Rose and Valentino Lazaro make their first starts since moving to Newcastle on loan.
Arsenal (4-2-3-1) Leno; Bellerin, Mustafi, David Luiz, Saka; Ceballos, Xhaka; Pepe, Ozil, Aubameyang; Nketiah.
Substitutes: Martinez, Sokratis, Kolasinac, Torreira, Willock, Martinelli, Lacazette.
Newcastle (3-4-2-1) Dubravka; Fernandez, Lascelles, Clark; Lazaro, Bentaleb, S Longstaff, Rose; Almiron, Saint-Maximin; Joelinton.
Substitutes: Darlow, Schar, Lejeune, M Longstaff, Ritchie, Hayden, Atsu.
Referee Lee Mason.
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Preamble
Hello. When Arsenal won at Newcastle on the opening weekend of the season, you would have got exceedingly long odds on this return fixture being a mid-table clash. A combination of Arsenal taking the season off and Steve Bruce producing a minor miracle means that only goal difference separates the two teams, who sit in 11th and 12th.
Arsenal are threatening to make progress under Mikel Arteta, even though results have been mediocre. While they are a medium-term project, Newcastle’s limitations - and a grotesque injury list - have given them little choice but to live hand to mouth all season. They have done it brilliantly, even if results have sometimes been better than performances.
This may be a mid-table clash, but that doesn’t make it meaningless. The table is very tight this season, the top three aside, and both teams could still be dragged into a relegation battle. More to the point, they could still challenge for the all-new Fifth Place Trophy. A win for either side today would move them within five points of Sheffield United and a possible Champions League place.
Kick off is at 4.30pm.
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